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well shucks, i dont know what a fancy city gal like you could learn from a small town like this, but maybe you can help us prepare for the annual christmas festival, my name is tim
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Sep 17, 2021 18:58
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 20:19 |
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*sucks cock*
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Sep 17, 2021 19:01
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drat ive got to find old man shultz and get the secret of how to find the magic christmas rose endowed with the power of christmas love to win jessica's heart before midnight on christmas eve
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Sep 17, 2021 19:02
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Hello, Big City Woman, I'm your Big City Boyfriend at the start of the movie who is slightly dismissive or inattentive towards you. Now please go off to the Christmas Lovers Cattle Ranch where all the cows have reindeer antlers and the slaughterhouse is decorated with tinsel and lights. But please don't fall in love with a hunky slaughterhouse butcher with a heart filled with kindness and Christmas cheer so that I can walk in to find you having an emotional affair with him in a way that will somehow frame me as the villain and not the victim.
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Sep 17, 2021 19:04
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I'm a successful architect in a big city, far too busy for Christmas. I'm just going to sit at home with the one thing I care about - my dog. Oh no! My dog ran away!
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Sep 17, 2021 19:07
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<ties bow around my schlong>
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Sep 17, 2021 19:15
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I was in a successful genre TV show 8 years ago, now I'm a regular for Christmas romcoms!
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Sep 17, 2021 19:15
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Don't you dare gently caress Santa
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Sep 17, 2021 19:22
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Oh no I hosed Santa, we must petition the pope to dissolve his marriage to Mrs. Santa and marry me by Christmas Day or else we both go to hell 
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Sep 17, 2021 19:28
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jingle my balls!!!!!!!
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Sep 17, 2021 19:31
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Lets spend the full day decorating the one tree together! Oh look, its snowing on a clear sky day.
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Sep 17, 2021 19:33
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Icochet posted:*sucks cock* hey thanks. that means a lot and you've really helped this town and i think...i think this town might have helped you too
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Sep 17, 2021 19:34
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my girlfriend said I was a real scrooge, but then jesus gave this street urchin leukemia so that I could learn the real meaning of Christmas now it's new year's eve, the kid's dead and I'm banging my girlfriend lmao
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Sep 17, 2021 19:36
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this coke sucks
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Sep 17, 2021 19:37
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This year, you will find the true meaning of Christmas deep in Santa's sack 
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Sep 17, 2021 19:44
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Boy, I'd better not let my shithead cousin fix the economy of this country by abdicating the throne, I should instead entrust our nation's future to this magazine journalist who was disguised as my little sister's tutor instead.
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Sep 17, 2021 19:45
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I was sold at a charity auction and now I'm gonna bone this guy after a sleigh ride because children with cancer needed toys, or whatever. snow falls kids die my laughter brings tears to my eyes the children watch from the hospital window as my new beau and I kiss on our first date, the town square alight with colorful decorations. then we go home and gently caress and I'm pregnant and five years later our kid has cancer, too, because this tiny hometown of mine was built over a loving shitload of discarded nukes that the military buried and didn't bother to tell anybody about. E: also the kid dies of cancer and I was an atheist before my special xmas love interest thing happened, then I was a jesus person, now I'm an atheist again and it's gonna take FIVE MORE MEN, all sons of santa, to convince me (with their ding dongs) that jesus is cool again because this just became a reverse harem romcom. 
Fluffy Bunnies fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Sep 17, 2021 |
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Sep 17, 2021 19:58
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I'm really nervous about you meeting my parents, they're different from your family! *starts cutting self*
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Sep 17, 2021 20:02
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im a grumpy old
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Sep 17, 2021 20:03
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Hugh Grant
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Sep 17, 2021 20:15
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You open the door, I put a finger over my mouth and start playing carols. I'm holding a stack of big cue cards. Your husband yells out "Who is it?" I flip over the first card: SAY IT'S LIGMA "It's Ligma" "Ligma? Who's Ligma" I flip over my next card: FUCKEN GOTEM LMAO We both double over laughing silently, until I flip the next card and it's full-on goatse and you throw up on the snow
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Sep 17, 2021 20:16
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signalnoise posted:Hugh Grant more like huge grant from what I've heard
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Sep 17, 2021 20:18
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I'm a big land developer and I'm here to demolish the oldest christmas tree farm in Wisconsin.
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Sep 17, 2021 20:21
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I'm a big-fish-in-a-small-pond real estate tycoon, and I just can't wait until Christmas Eve/Day to foreclose on the protagonist's family farm/house/business. I just have to hope that the town isn't lead to charitably paying off the outstanding mortgage by the protagonist's lovable down-to-earth charm or the rugged charisma of their local romantic interest.
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Sep 17, 2021 20:23
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I sprint through the airport trying to get to the gate before the plane boards so that I can clear up a big misunderstanding that should have been handled days ago and finally tell her how much I've always loved her and we can be together through the magic of Christmas. I see the gate! There she is! Our eyes meet, her face lights up,. This is it! It's going to happen! I'm tackled by airport security and tasered repeatedly until I lose control of my bowels and poo poo myself. I struggle to lift my head as I'm wrestled into handcuffs to see the love of my life dry-heaving as she boards her flight.
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Sep 17, 2021 20:26
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Sinnlos posted:I'm a big land developer and I'm here to demolish the oldest christmas tree farm in Wisconsin. poo poo gently caress!
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Sep 17, 2021 20:27
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I'm the token lesbian/gay romcom. Isn't it funny that we're lesbian/gay. heehee. teehee.  the movie tries to be a good ally but it does things like makes our xmas tree a rainbow because gay people love rainbows. rainbows are in the sky rainbow are in your heart they're in our eyes they're coming through your tv the American family council (or whatever the gently caress) was right. we're coming for you. now you're gay too. we're all gay. we're all gay.
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Sep 17, 2021 20:28
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hi im tim im gay and i fuckin love christmas
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Sep 17, 2021 20:31
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Only ever lives somewhere in snows in December
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Sep 17, 2021 20:32
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WwhHooOaaA! *falls off roof and gets lifelong back pain*
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Sep 17, 2021 20:33
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Gets sent to jail for 15 years for fraud after writing "it's Christmas" on a loan forgiveness document at the bank I manage.
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Sep 17, 2021 20:37
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:I'm the token lesbian/gay romcom. Isn't it funny that we're lesbian/gay. heehee. teehee.
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Sep 17, 2021 20:40
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I'm the leading lady's younger brother who's and athiest because I lost my legs in the sled race fifteen years ago. By the end of the movie I will be reconciled to Christianity in a wink-wink fashion, probably some non-sequitur involving cute puppies or my own love interest singing a song about Christmas. People will stop calling me Gimpy Steve and now I can go back to being just Steve. Thanks, Jesus!
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Sep 17, 2021 20:43
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:I'm the token lesbian/gay romcom. Isn't it funny that we're lesbian/gay. heehee. teehee. im the token gay person but you never actually see me doing anything gay for fear of alienating straight audiences. i just act flamboyant and talk in vague terms about “not fitting in” before devoting myself wholly to the woman protagonist’s own journey toward christmas romance and self-discovery, subordinating my own desires to this woman who i met literally 24 hours ago. i don't even have a love interest or any kind of life outside of offering sage life advice to this straight white woman. my interior life shall forever remain a mystery. also, i own a tacky, light-up Christmas sweater and there’s a hilarious scene of me wearing it at an extremely inopportune time in front of your curmudgeon, big city boss. talk about awkward! QuoProQuid fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Sep 17, 2021 |
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Sep 17, 2021 21:13
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Watch me wear this $200 wool christmas jumper all the time!
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Sep 17, 2021 21:21
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:I'm the token lesbian/gay romcom. Isn't it funny that we're lesbian/gay. heehee. teehee. Conversely, we’re the only two Jews in Christmas Town. Wonder if we’ll end up together at the movies or at a Chinese restaurant.
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Sep 17, 2021 21:22
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the turkey is now on fire.
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Sep 17, 2021 21:24
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SRQ posted:the turkey is now on fire. magically, there's a new, fully cooked turkey on the kitchen table Christmas day. it and the rest of the table display looks like something done by martha stewart we look knowingly at each other but otherwise refuse to acknowledge this miracle
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Sep 17, 2021 21:27
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Argh my dyslexia won't let me see this thread title without thinking about being in a christmas condom
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Sep 17, 2021 21:34
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 20:19 |
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My big land deal fell through when the owner of the oldest christmas tree farm in Wisconsin died, leaving it to his grandchild, a moderately attractive white person with uncomfortably perfect teeth.
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Sep 17, 2021 21:53
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