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Internet Wizard
Aug 9, 2009

BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES



Otis v 747 is the true championship round

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Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

My "Not Vincent Price" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.




Smellrose

Internet Wizard posted:

Otis v 747 is the true championship round

:hmmyes:

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008




Final matchup, calling it now:

151 v 747, and 747 is going to live up to his number and fly off with it.

Thereís no shame in losing to that prince of portliness, that absolute unit of a bear known as 747; his gargantuan girth will conquer even the most colossal of champions. The monumental master will retain his title, and the diminutive contenders will come back next year and try again.

SquirrelyPSU
May 27, 2003




I appreciate discussions of M(i)VB [Most Improved Voluminous Bear], but clearly 747 is superior this year.

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004




At first I was all about 747 cuz that's the biggest goddamn bear. But, going from ribs showing to Otis, that's impressive is all hell. I'm just not sure who I'm going to vote for if that's the matchup

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!


Standings after the first round:

ThisIsJohnWayne
Feb 23, 2007
Ooo! Look at me! NO DON'T LOOK AT ME!




I'm pretty sure I'll be team Otis on that fateful day. Absolutely 747 JumboJeb! is a tall drink of volume, but, how much real eating did he do, really? Does he ever go through winter using his plentiful store? He's large yet, is he ever not? Is he really a boy preparing for winter or is he not a simpler lounging around the stocked larder under the skies?

And over yonder - on the outskirts of the rich land - a small shaggy entirely scrawny little one still go. He's tired and weary. A struggle fought for, the end ever seen.
But there is uranium in his core.

From pure obsidian his skeleton must have formed and in his soul, that ever most defiant force of nature, is. Life.

A hard fought going, a hard fought across, in audacity of hope, a eating the winters worthy,

And look. Lo. The massive.



He carried ident 480. They called him Otis.

ThisIsJohnWayne fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Oct 1, 2021

Enfys
Feb 17, 2013

The ocean is calling and I must go



I'll be team Otis. What a showing in less than two months. The champ.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof


FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Otis ainít nothing to gently caress with

Brute Squad
Dec 20, 2006

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race



I went 128 over 132's spring cub because Grazer is a unit. 132's cub is roly poly, but still has a way to go to hang with the big bears. Walker's bulk beat out Chunk's renegade scar in my book.

also, 747 is still out there training on the livestream.



"Bear Force One" indeed.

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Brute Squad posted:

I went 128 over 132's spring cub because Grazer is a unit. 132's cub is roly poly, but still has a way to go to hang with the big bears. Walker's bulk beat out Chunk's renegade scar in my book.

also, 747 is still out there training on the livestream.



"Bear Force One" indeed.

Yeah see I went with 132 because while 128 has that raw chonk, 132 brings the fluff to the yard.

To put it another way, Iíd like to get mauled by 132 more than by 128.

As for the 151 / 32 match up, 32 barely chonked up, while 151? Thatís the perfect example of a fattening bear, look at that spring form; look at that fat booty.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof


Brute Squad posted:

I went 128 over 132's spring cub because Grazer is a unit. 132's cub is roly poly, but still has a way to go to hang with the big bears. Walker's bulk beat out Chunk's renegade scar in my book.

also, 747 is still out there training on the livestream.



"Bear Force One" indeed.

Yeah, agreement here

Brute Squad
Dec 20, 2006

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race



but dang, that cub is definitely a future contender.

https://twitter.com/KatmaiNPS/status/1444029723651235853?s=20

look at that neck.

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004




Brute Squad posted:

look at that neck.

...

What neck?

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof


Brute Squad posted:

but dang, that cub is definitely a future contender.

https://twitter.com/KatmaiNPS/status/1444029723651235853?s=20

look at that neck.

Little guy has that "dog in a bear costume".look going on. Will be awesome.to see in a few years.
Ed.: He's also a major contender for Fat Neck Friday.

Enfys
Feb 17, 2013

The ocean is calling and I must go



132 cub is glorious

Brute Squad
Dec 20, 2006

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race



CainFortea posted:

...

What neck?

:thejoke:

Wrong Theory
Aug 27, 2005

Satellite from days of old, lead me to your access code




Chunk is so fat, animals are pulled in by his gravitational pull. His belly can dam the river! I was going to get a picture from the other side but I only had a half tank of gas!

Wrong Theory
Aug 27, 2005

Satellite from days of old, lead me to your access code


An autobiography of 747 aka Bear Force One:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t1lCOt_orU

Includes Popeye getting put in his place, a sweet bear date and guest stars Chunk, Grazer and Walker.

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Wrong Theory posted:



Chunk is so fat, animals are pulled in by his gravitational pull. His belly can dam the river! I was going to get a picture from the other side but I only had a half tank of gas!



Chunk is a chonky rear end bear

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008




OofÖ480 vs 747 is today. 2 colossal contenders facing off, in what shouldíve been the championship match.

May the fattest bear win!

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

as a person who never leaves my house I have felt covid is the best thing that ever happened to me. But instead of enjoying this, I now spend up to 16 hours a day posting weird fake vaccine news and medical advice on some weird idea I can extend covid and keep pretending I'm a shut in on propose.

How fat is 32 Chunk?

32 Chunk is so FAT that he canít save files larger than four gigabytes.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008




Voting is open!

503 vs 812: going for 503, not even a question.

480 vs 747? Thatís a dilemma.

Brute Squad
Dec 20, 2006

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race



i ended up going 812 and 747 today. my loyalty goes further than i imagined it did.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.



Just voted, 747 is losing right now. The wife was impressed with 480ís gains this season.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof


I went with 747, but I respect Otis' huge gains in such a short period.

Brute Squad
Dec 20, 2006

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race



Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

I went with 747, but I respect Otis' huge gains in such a short period.

same. ribs to daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn in a month less than bear force one is an impressive feat.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

as a person who never leaves my house I have felt covid is the best thing that ever happened to me. But instead of enjoying this, I now spend up to 16 hours a day posting weird fake vaccine news and medical advice on some weird idea I can extend covid and keep pretending I'm a shut in on propose.

747 is so massive that when tracking him via radio, scientists have to retune their equipment to account for the gravitational redshift.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008




:siren: THE KING IS DETHRONED :siren:

Long live the new former king, 480-Otis!

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof


Wow, a shocking loss for 747. Otis certainly earned it with his amazing gains.

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

No loving way.

We need to audit those votes.

Enfys
Feb 17, 2013

The ocean is calling and I must go



Return of the King :getin:

MrYenko
Jun 17, 2012

#2 isn't ALWAYS bad...



Otisí beginning-of-season picture is a little alarming. I hope he makes it through the winter.

:(

ThisIsJohnWayne
Feb 23, 2007
Ooo! Look at me! NO DON'T LOOK AT ME!




How much did he win by?
And I hope they all make it through goes without saying

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof


34000 to 31728. Pretty close.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008




Otis chonked up really well, but 747 was out there training until the bitter end. Truly a championís duel :unsmith:

Radical 90s Wizard
Aug 5, 2008

~SS-18 burning bright,
Bathe me in your cleansing light~


Fuuuuuuuuck. Still it's a hella good story when the old ex-champ comes back for one last run at the title and pulls it off.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof


It's Fat Bear Tuesday! Otis vs. Walker in a seriously tight contest! Vote today!

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Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008




In the one corner, we have the Incredible Bulk, the mountainous bear of mammoth proportions, never-saw-a-fish-it-didnít-consume, 151-Walker!!

In the other corner, weíve got the titan of the river, an absolute ursine unit and the namesake of the constellation Ursa Major, 480-Otis!!

The colossal contenders are facing off against not only each other, but also the brutal winter of Alaska itself. May they both stay well-fed, and have cubs of their own one day to raise as contenders.

Icon Of Sin fucked around with this message at 16:29 on Oct 5, 2021

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