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Doc Fission
Sep 10, 2011





Ya girl got a promotion and a fancy office. I am one of the only people who has to come in right now and catch coronavirus so it is a lot like being king of nothing. OTOH that means I can listen to podcasts with cussing while my door is open so that's pretty cool.

This is babby's first office as I have been a cubicle peon for most of my working life. What do people usually put in these? Any suggestions for posters? There's a bookshelf in here but I don't have any professional books. Maybe I can just put action figures on it instead? Office goons what have you done?

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Huragok
Sep 14, 2011


I have a printer

HORSE-SLAUGHTERER
Nov 11, 2020

H O R S E - S L A U G H T E R E R

can you bang your fist on the desk

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



Tik Tok counter physically.

Partycat
Oct 25, 2004



Whatever you want people to start a conversation with you about.

I put opened boxes and tools so it looks like I've got a lot of things to work on, and have selected an otherwise cold and humourless selection of drably colored objects.

Bags Fly at Noon
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.






Framed picture of the pigs huge balls

Doc Fission
Sep 10, 2011





Huragok posted:

I have a printer

I also have a printer in here. It's a boxy HP, kind of old from what I can tell. I don't wanna replace it if it works though, especially if I can spend my budget on funkos or whatever.

Doc Fission
Sep 10, 2011





HORSE-SLAUGHTERER posted:

can you bang your fist on the desk

I sure can. Both fists even. No one is here most of the time so I could probably bang my foot on it too.

Doc Fission
Sep 10, 2011





Zeluth posted:

Tik Tok counter physically.

You know I don't know what this means.

Bags Fly at Noon
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.






Doc Fission
Sep 10, 2011





Partycat posted:

Whatever you want people to start a conversation with you about.

I put opened boxes and tools so it looks like I've got a lot of things to work on, and have selected an otherwise cold and humourless selection of drably colored objects.

This is a helpful point, except no one is here to have conversations with. Ostensibly still good advice but I figure the ghastly emptiness of this large building means I can get weird with it

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



Doc Fission posted:

You know I don't know what this means.

Like I give a poo poo.

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





Get some plants!

Doc Fission
Sep 10, 2011





DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

Framed picture of the pigs huge balls

Now there's an idea. Maybe sandwiched between pics of my sister's kids.



Only if I also have a black light that dares people to switch it on with its mere presence

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



Oof! Get punkinated.

Doc Fission
Sep 10, 2011





Zeluth posted:

Like I give a poo poo.

I can't hear your belligerence over the sound of shattering glass ceiling after glass ceiling. Like a glass lasagna.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



Doc Fission posted:

I can't hear your belligerence over the sound of shattering glass ceiling after glass ceiling. Like a glass lasagna.

Stressing. I am OK with that.

manpurse
Mar 19, 2007


I spent my first day in my office seeing what my motorized sit/stand desk could crush.

Doc Fission
Sep 10, 2011





manpurse posted:

I spent my first day in my office seeing what my motorized sit/stand desk could crush.

And?

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler

Pillbug

But have you moved on up to the east side?

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface


What do you do OP. People here tend to put things they find in the woods while working on display.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002



Spend the whole day poopin.

Doc Fission
Sep 10, 2011





Telsa Cola posted:

What do you do OP. People here tend to put things they find in the woods while working on display.

I do database work for a big TV/radio station. Everyone here is pretty nerdy about it but TBH I don't really consume our programming.

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


Telsa Cola posted:

What do you do OP. People here tend to put things they find in the woods while working on display.

You put your woods-porn in your office?!

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012


Doc Fission posted:

I do database work for a big TV/radio station. Everyone here is pretty nerdy about it but TBH I don't really consume our programming.

Doc Fission posted:

I can spend my budget on funkos or whatever.
Sounds like the obvious choice is to just fill your office up with funkos.

old beast lunatic
Nov 2, 2004

LISTEN HERE FAT


Congrats on becoming a middle management leech OP

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005






might i suggest a copy of 'on thermonuclear war' by herman kahn for your empty bookshelf. its got all the tips and tricks for winning a nuclear war.

Doc Fission
Sep 10, 2011





old beast lunatic posted:

Congrats on becoming a middle management leech OP

Thanks. It was the wildest dreams of my ancestors.

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008




Gravy Boat 2k

Give me a job OP

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.




I had a bunch of Polish horror movie posters in my office. It was a good experience.

CongoJack
Nov 5, 2009

Ask Why, Asshole


Get one of office desk toy things like those clacky balls. You can also get one of those motivational posters of like, a beach that says PERSEVERANCE.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012



I am moving into my new office. I've worked my rear end off for years and it's finally paid off. I can't wait to provide for my wife and our beautiful, handicapped son.


I arrive on the 99th floor of 1 WTC. THe date is September 10, 2001.

MackAddie
Jul 10, 2001



A trap door is vital in any new office.

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015

:hellyeah::histdowns:

I just switched to a remote job but I did have my own office. I enjoyed doing this:

No decorative/personal items to make it clear you're not interested in non-work interaction.
Put your monitor between your seat and the guest one on the other side of the desk.
Break the soft-close mechanism on the door so it automatically slams shut. Gives everyone a mild fright and further conditions them against bothering you.

Shishkahuben
Mar 5, 2009






Huragok posted:

I have a printer

yes and thank you for bringing it over for me to use

Ralph Hurley
Aug 3, 2009

:barf::sweep::zoid:





Get one of those indoor putting greens and a little basketball hoop for your trash can.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Non-comedy answer: Snake plants!

Comedy (?) answer: Just put a lot of anime dudes up on the walls, pop on some nekomimi headphones, and hiss at anyone who walks by your desk.

e: Just a warning that if you become the Girl with Fun Post-Its, your entire life will be spent "lending" them to people. With great power comes great responsibility.

hotdog feet
Nov 3, 2005





i bought a boglin for my office. i also have a phone i never answer, in addition to the cell phone they gave me that i never answer.

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005






did anyome say the little bird that drinks water

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Bags Fly at Noon
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.






The big lego Millenium Falcon and a balldo

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