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banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004






they seem to have pretty thick arms and they live high up in trees and swing from vines so im gonna assume it isnt just flab but muscle hidden under that matted rear end ratty fur

two of them basically beat an AT-ST pilot to death in seconds. has anything in the EU ever shown a shaved ewok? are they swole?

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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


They don't seem to have much in the way of wheels which makes all of those custom-set anti-empire traps made out of logs and stuff definitely indicative they have greater than human strength.

Finger Prince
Jan 5, 2007

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



You ever seen those pictures of hairless chimps? Yeah, Wicket is swole AF.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017



Wicket benches 315

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020



the rich and powerful of the republic are into ewok sex trafficking because of their vaginal strength and because they look like children

Finger Prince
Jan 5, 2007

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



Aglet56
Sep 1, 2011


*pulls mic closer towards face* jamie pull up that video

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004






The Voice of Labor posted:

the rich and powerful of the republic are into ewok sex trafficking because of their vaginal strength and because they look like children

rich and powerful republic women doing exotic sex tourism to Endor. why do you think the ewoks had a human sized womans dress for leia all ready to go.

Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.

The dialect that C-3po translated wasn't ancient or obscure, it was filthy

Hodgepodge
Jan 29, 2006




with a diet rich in stormtrooper, there no need for an evolutionary choice between diverting energy to the brain and maintaining the full flow of energy to the muscular system.

OnlyBans
Sep 21, 2021


The mightiest weapon on Endor is the Ewok's red rocket.

Finger Prince
Jan 5, 2007

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



OnlyBans posted:

The mightiest weapon on Endor is the Ewok's red rocket.

*lightsaber noise*

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017



I like the co-op mode in Battlefront 2 where you play as a stormtrooper and your goal is put down all the ewoks.

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



they don't need it. anything is a weapon in the hands of an ewok

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007

"Real life is messy, inconsistent, and it's seldom when anything ever really gets resolved."



Its pretty obvious that Ewoks have chimp strength.

OnlyBans
Sep 21, 2021


Finger Prince posted:

*lightsaber noise*

I think we've finally found the real reason the bad guys have red lightsabers.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


do ewoks have chimp strength? or do chimps have ewok strength? :thunk:

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

do ewoks have chimp strength? or do chimps have ewok strength? :thunk:

A strong point. Ewoks came first and are almost certainly stronger.

Finger Prince
Jan 5, 2007

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)




Look at this guy. Cuts through a vine as thick as his head holding up thousands of kilos of log with a hatchet swung from the hip, while clinging to a tree. Can you imagine the core strength?

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004






Come to think of it...what did the rebels even contribute to that fight? The ewoks could have wiped the floor with the imperials whenever they wanted.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Blowing up the space based battlestation probably counts for something.

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004






reignofevil posted:

Blowing up the space based battlestation probably counts for something.

i mean....you arc that catapult up a few degrees and maybe they just solo that poo poo themselves

OnlyBans
Sep 21, 2021


The explosives on the shield generator where also pretty important to the overall objective. Maybe the Ewoks could have accomplished that but 1) would they know to and 2) certainly not as fast as good old explosives.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


banned from Starbucks posted:

Come to think of it...what did the rebels even contribute to that fight? The ewoks could have wiped the floor with the imperials whenever they wanted.

the rebels brought the incarnation of their god, See Threepio. and their god said "behold, these are my prophets, on a holy mission to destroy evil, and their quest has brought them to you. protect and succour them as you would me, and let us rout the infidels from your holy lands."

and they went forth and routed the infidels something fierce

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

the rebels brought the incarnation of their god, See Threepio. and their god said "behold, these are my prophets, on a holy mission to destroy evil, and their quest has brought them to you. protect and succour them as you would me, and let us rout the infidels from your holy lands."

and they went forth and routed the infidels something fierce

I feel you're selling the Ewoks short as superstitious primitives just blindly going along with what 3PO says. There was that whole scene where he tells them (to the best of his linguistic ability given their tech level) what the wider context is, basically an oral account of the previous Star Wars movies, so they at least have an informed opinion on how lovely the Empire is and that the new moon that recently appeared in the sky is in fact built for the purpose of destroying worlds and must be stopped. Yes it's gonna be a biased account, but that's the Empire's fault for not offering any counter-narrative other than swift death via giant stompy robot.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Asterite34 posted:

I feel you're selling the Ewoks short

lol


lmbo

Hodgepodge
Jan 29, 2006




banned from Starbucks posted:

Come to think of it...what did the rebels even contribute to that fight? The ewoks could have wiped the floor with the imperials whenever they wanted.

white saviors, op

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004






Ewoks are now armed with the weapons of their former occupiers. They are in a sense the new galactic Mujahideen.

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Robot Style
Jul 5, 2009



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