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ELTON JOHN
Feb 17, 2014
somehow i got signed up to some political mailing lists. i sometimes get gop stuff too but most of the time it's "help us destroy the democrats and make them suffer" which sure ok cool. but dem emails

goddamn















these are just the past few days. my name isnt even harriet

anyway i'm sure plenty of you get this dumb bullshit for various local elections so let's see it

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Archduke Frantz Fanon
Sep 7, 2004

Barack is very sad you forgot his birthday :(

he said if you give us 3 dollars he'll forgive you though :)

a.p. dent
Oct 24, 2005
i get so many of these loving things despite unsubscribing from every one i receive

this one just confused me

Deep Dish Fuckfest
Sep 6, 2006

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Toilet Rascal

alright this one got an actual laugh out of me

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Smythe
Oct 12, 2003

lmfao

paul_soccer12
Jan 5, 2020

by Fluffdaddy
*fills in two "first names" cells in goons.xlsx*

Homeless Friend
Jul 16, 2007

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

Nichael has said that despite the fact that these sorts of e-mails make me want to put my representative under medical evaluation for risk of self-harm that they paradoxically inspire middling donors more than passive "hey give us some money" sort of e-mails

The contrast between "the democracts are baby killers who stole the election give us money to buy more guns" kinda republican bravado and the democrats' "if you don't send me $5 I may jump off the nearest bridge" messaging is surely something to behold.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011


lmao

good thread op

Feldegast42
Oct 29, 2011

COMMENCE THE RITE OF SHITPOSTING

Ziggy Starfucker
Jun 1, 2011

Pillbug
My favorite fundraising email from last election cycle just had the subject line "WE'RE SCREAMING" in all caps and I lol because obviously they're not, otherwise the subject line would read "AAAAAAAAAHH" instead

Homeless Friend
Jul 16, 2007

Homocow
Apr 24, 2007

Extremely bad poster!
DO NOT QUOTE!


Pillbug

VideoKid
Jul 28, 2006

Avatar War
somehow I ended up on an email list for a pac called BOLD DEMOCRATS that was just pure liberal nonsense that was sent straight to my inbox about 10x/ day. I tried to unsubscribe/ set it as spam but nothing worked. I ended up having to just block the entire domain or else I would keep seeing emails like “click here to donate $5 dollars so I can tell Barack Obama that you love him”

Deep Dish Fuckfest
Sep 6, 2006

Advanced
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Toilet Rascal

VideoKid posted:

somehow I ended up on an email list for a pac called BOLD DEMOCRATS

initially read as BLOOD DEMOCRATS which sounded significantly more metal

really queer Christmas
Apr 22, 2014

I made a thread like this around election time and I'm gonna take some from there.

quote:

Biden wrecked...(NOBODY was ready for this!) posted:

We are absolutely DEVASTATED!
 Joe Biden and Donald Trump are now TIED In Florida!! 
FLORIDA POLLING: JOE BIDEN AND DONALD TRUMP TIED
EMERGENCY FUNDRAISING GOAL: We talked to our accountants and we need to raise $50,000 by MIDNIGHT to get back on track! Rush $5 right now and we’ll 500%-MATCH it to RUIN Trump's presidency >>
500%-MATCH ACTIVE: DONATE TO DEFEAT TRUMP >>
It’s simple.
If Joe Biden loses Florida, he LOSES the Electoral College… Donald Trump will WIN. (NO!!!)
That’s why Trump and his allies have already spent over $82 MILLION to DOMINATE Florida.
So we’re RACING to raise as much as we can in these final 20 days until the election.
If Democrats step up, we can DEMOLISH Trump!!
If Democrats DON’T step up, we’ll be forced to suffer another 4 years of a Donald Trump presidency…
So, are you with us? Please chip in whatever you can (500%-MATCHED!!) by MIDNIGHT TONIGHT to DEFEAT Donald Trump >>




quote:

Trump will be shocked!! re: texas posted:

this email >>
REALLY QUEER CHRISTMAS, Texas is officially within our reach. TEXAS! Election experts say that if Joe Biden wins Texas, President Trump won’t win the Electoral College and his presidency will be FINISHED. Bernie Sanders even predicted if Trump loses Texas it’ll be OVER. So now we have a once-in-a-lifetime to flip Texas BLUE and elect Progressives here and around the country. But to do that we need to raise $40,000 by TONIGHT...and we still need [16] small-dollar gifts from your state to stay on track to hit our goal, so please chip in now →
RUSH $5 TO FLIP TEXAS →
RUSH $15 TO FLIP TEXAS →
Donald Trump is getting nervous. He’s TERRIFIED of losing ruby red Texas.

No Democratic presidential candidate has won Texas since 1976!

But Joe Biden is now only ONE POINT behind Trump, so Republicans are rushing in to crush our Progressives in Texas and beyond.

SO REALLY QUEER CHRISTMAS: Tonight’s deadline has never been more critical.
REALLY QUEER CHRISTMAS, RUSH A DONATION RIGHT NOW TO ELECT PROGRESSIVES IN TEXAS AND ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO DEFEAT TRUMP:
CHIP IN $5 RIGHT NOW →CHIP IN $35 RIGHT NOW →CHIP IN $50 RIGHT NOW →CHIP IN $100 RIGHT NOW →CHIP IN $250 RIGHT NOW →Or chip in another amount  →


really queer Christmas
Apr 22, 2014

quote:

FOX NEWS SAID WHAT???!! posted:

Sima’s dog Jedi emailed you.

Sima’s dog!

RQC a dog would NOT be emailing you if it wasn’t important!!!!

-- I just learned that we’re within ONE POINT of turning Texas blue in 2020
-- I know it’s likely our only shot for a WHOLE DECADE
-- And if we want to win, it’ll take every grassroots supporter we got before the End of Month deadline in 24 hours!!

RQC -- we gotta band together as quick as Jedi gobbles down a big ‘ole pile of corned beef. I can’t overstate the urgency!

I’m begging you like Jedi begs at the dining room table. I’m counting on you like Jedi counts on a treat when he sits. Rush in $13 before the End of Month deadline in 24 hours to defeat Dan Crenshaw and flip Texas blue:

Rush $13 now!

Rush $23 now!

Rush $47 now!

Rush $131 now!

Rush another amount

Thanks,
Carville

P.S. You can’t let Jedi down. Just look at that face. Rush in $13 before the deadline in 24 hours. >>

Gumball Gumption
Jan 7, 2012

These email work on the exact same people as money wire scams. "Hi Grandma, this is your grandson and I'm running for election and I need you to send me 50 dollars RIGHT NOW OR I WILL DIE COLD AND ALONE GRANDMA."

VideoKid
Jul 28, 2006

Avatar War

Gumball Gumption posted:

These email work on the exact same people as money wire scams
Blue Texas is probably as likely to happen as me finally receiving $1 million from my good friend the prince of Nigeria.

Deep Dish Fuckfest
Sep 6, 2006

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Toilet Rascal
i guess it doesn't really make sense to target millennials since they don't have any cash to donate even if they wanted to. they know their target demographics

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

really queer Christmas
Apr 22, 2014


Give him back his twitter

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

absolutely incredible. i'm the info@terry with an alias of Hillary Clinton

Judakel
Jul 29, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 9 years!
Dear Judakel,

This is the indisputable fact – Medicare for All would provide every single Californian quality care while saving billions of dollars every year.

That’s why my first bill in Sacramento, as your voice in the State Assembly, will be to work with our allies to re-introduce a California Medicare for All system to bring equal access to quality care to every Californian.

This will be an epic fight against the massive insurance corporations who will do everything in their power to protect their billions of dollars in profits.

So I need you by my side – will you sign our petition in support of Medicare for All in California?


The math is clear – more than one-third of all healthcare dollars go to insurance company profits and bureaucracy. We spend hundreds of billions to pay for these companies' overhead costs – and all too frequently, we are paying them to figure out ways to deny us coverage!

Every other industrialized economy in the world has a form of Medicare for All – sometimes called single-payer. In this system, you keep your current doctor, but we replace private, for-profit insurance companies with one public fund. Because we eliminate the profits and the bureaucracies built up to deny coverage – we can cover everyone at a lower cost.
This system would be more equitable by far – starting with making sure the 3.2 million Californians without any health insurance are immediately covered. Immigrants, low-income families and communities of color have the highest uninsured rates, with 2 out of 3 undocumented Californians having no quality health insurance.

That means the people who grow our food, care for our kids, keep our stores and restaurants open and the people who have suffered the most under COVID-19 all too often go without life-saving care. For that reason alone, we need to adopt Medicare for All.

Equity matters. But the economics of Medicare for All is also favorable to our families and small businesses. For many small businesses, healthcare costs are one of their most significant financial burdens. Medicare for All would remove that burden.

For families, the number one driver of bankruptcy and economic devastation is the cost of healthcare emergencies. Many of our houseless neighbors are on the streets because they suffer from untreated medical conditions or lost their homes to medical debt. Medicare for All would mean every family is covered.

Recent independent studies show that providing quality preventive care for everyone, which would be possible under a Medicare for All system, would save $3.4 billion per year. An authoritative recent study showed Medicare for All would save us $44 billion dollars in the first ten years it is implemented.

This is the time. And we must lead this cause.

Will you join us in support of Medicare for All?

Will you help protect the health and save the lives of those Californians who make our economy work but live without health insurance?

Will you help save these lives – and save billions by joining our fight for Medicare for All?

This is the moment for the change we have been waiting for. I hope you will join us.

In solidarity,

David Campos
Candidate for State Assembly

This dumb motherfucker whom I've never heard of thinks I am going to believe that the same democratic party that currently has a supermajority in California and passed universal healthcare only under a Republican governor that was sure to veto it is going to do so if he is elected. Get hosed, idiot.

bristol cool chart
Jun 18, 2021

by Hand Knit
they've passed like 4 of those only for dem governors to veto and there's currently like 3 floating in senate suspension hell atm

tokin opposition
Apr 8, 2021

The dialectical struggle of history has always, essentially, been a question of how to apply justice to matter. Take away matter and what remains is justice.
In my young and dumb days I signed up with my deadname and so the only time I see it these days are dipshit Seattle politicians begging for money

The moral is clear if wasted on cspam: never talk to politics nerds

tokin opposition
Apr 8, 2021

The dialectical struggle of history has always, essentially, been a question of how to apply justice to matter. Take away matter and what remains is justice.

ELTON JOHN posted:

somehow i got signed up to some political mailing lists. i sometimes get gop stuff too but most of the time it's "help us destroy the democrats and make them suffer" which sure ok cool. but dem emails

goddamn















these are just the past few days. my name isnt even harriet

anyway i'm sure plenty of you get this dumb bullshit for various local elections so let's see it

Ok Harriet

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH
Democrats SHATTER

emphasis should be on SHAT

TheSlutPit
Dec 26, 2009


just quote this every post. we all got signed up for the same insane email list from donating to bernie lol

TheSlutPit
Dec 26, 2009

tokin opposition posted:

In my young and dumb days I signed up with my deadname and so the only time I see it these days are dipshit Seattle politicians begging for money

The moral is clear if wasted on cspam: never talk to politics nerds

I got emails from dem politicians for years after foolishly writing my name+email on a literal napkin during a “core group” meeting of 15 people at a pro-union action 10 years ago lol

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

TheSlutPit posted:

just quote this every post. we all got signed up for the same insane email list from donating to bernie lol

i'm still mad about it

bristol cool chart
Jun 18, 2021

by Hand Knit
thankfully I wasn't stupid enough to give money to a liberal so I just get PSL begging me to subscribe to their magazine

George Rouncewell
Jul 20, 2007

You think that's illegal? Heh, watch this.

game over

return of maga

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009

How can he be back if he never left, come on Terry get your head in the game

animist
Aug 28, 2018

somehow, palpatine has returned

Judakel
Jul 29, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 9 years!

bristol cool chart posted:

they've passed like 4 of those only for dem governors to veto and there's currently like 3 floating in senate suspension hell atm

Lol goddamn. State sucks

bristol cool chart
Jun 18, 2021

by Hand Knit

Judakel posted:

Lol goddamn. State sucks

some assemblyman from LA killed the last bill and tried to say to the papers that there just wasn't support for it in the legislature. his main donor was Pfizer or Blue Shield or some poo poo. ofc someone did a tally and like 70% of the state assembly said they supported MediCal for all lol. im sure he got re-elected

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Goon Boots
Feb 2, 2020


i don't know what you're all laughing about, these are all democrats personally hitting send on a hand-typed e-mail with you personally in mind asking you for help and you're just ignoring them? Don't you care about the political process?

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