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Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

the belly button hungers

Hell Gem

Whats the highest res version of Goatse out there? I know it came from a time when the internet was fresh and anything over 500 pixels across was inconceivably large, but what is the largest, most crisp version of goatse anyone's seen? I have a goatse link on reserve, but its only 960x720 and pretty grainy. I'm pretty sure i've seen edits that use the hands that are in much better quality than what I have.

I want a real collectors edition goatman link I can treasure and will to future generations, something you could hang over your mantle and not have people criticizing the jpeg compression

e:

For those of you calling false advertising, yes I titled the thread poorly when posted, but other posters have come through, please enjoy the fruits of their labor

Bula Vinaka posted:

The original image was uploaded to Usenet in September 2000, as part of a .zip collection, called gap.zip.

The resolution was 480 x 360.

Here's gap.zip:

:nws:https://www77.zippyshare.com/v/ZLN7l0PQ/file.html:nws:

The famous "hello.jpg" goat rear end image from the goatse.cx is gap3.jpg

hth

Cowman posted:

gently caress you for being too lazy to google "AI Upscaler" and using literally the first result

:nws:https://i.imgur.com/8KimuXw.jpeg:nws:

My personal favorite:

Cowman posted:

:nws:https://i.imgur.com/yT3sSQ7.jpg:nws:

Last try using another website.

Bismuth fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Sep 27, 2021

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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

False advertising op

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002
MY PRONOUNS ARE SHIT/HEAD


Colonel Cancer posted:

False advertising op

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

Beachside!


The original image was uploaded to Usenet in September 2000, as part of a .zip collection, called gap.zip.

The resolution was 480 x 360.

Here's gap.zip:

:nws:https://www77.zippyshare.com/v/ZLN7l0PQ/file.html:nws:

The famous "hello.jpg" goat rear end image from the goatse.cx is gap3.jpg

hth

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

BOOware the cow





someone needs to use an AI upscaler to get a proper 4k goatse goin

edit: there's some online ones where can I upload 4k goatse

Cowman fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Sep 27, 2021

CPL593H
Oct 28, 2009

I know what you did last summer, and frankly I am displeased.

I'm selling goatse for a million dollars because apparently you can just sell pictures from the internet now.

Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

the belly button hungers

Hell Gem

Bula Vinaka posted:

The original image was uploaded to Usenet in September 2000, as part of a .zip collection, called gap.zip.

The resolution was 480 x 360.

Here's gap.zip:

:nws:https://www77.zippyshare.com/v/ZLN7l0PQ/file.html:nws:

The famous "hello.jpg" goat rear end image from the goatse.cx is gap3.jpg

hth

Despite being small this is much better quality than the one I had, thanks (pretend this is reversed vertically for a thumbsup) :thumbsdown:

Cowman posted:

someone needs to use an AI upscaler to get a proper 4k goatse goin

edit: there's some online ones where can I upload 4k goatse

if you can do it do it

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

BOOware the cow





Bismuth posted:

Despite being small this is much better quality than the one I had, thanks (pretend this is reversed vertically for a thumbsup) :thumbsdown:

if you can do it do it

I'm doing it right now. It's a free upscaler sooo it might be lovely. Tell me where to upload this 8k goatse.

Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

the belly button hungers

Hell Gem

Cowman posted:

I'm doing it right now. It's a free upscaler sooo it might be lovely. Tell me where to upload this 4k goatse.

I just use imgur, as long as its not posted publicly ive never had my goatse removed :shrug:


also looking through that zip, some of those are actually worse/more shocking/gross than the OG goatse, but drat if gap3 isnt a classic

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

BOOware the cow





Bismuth posted:

I just use imgur, as long as its not posted publicly ive never had my goatse removed :shrug:


also looking through that zip, some of those are actually worse/more shocking/gross than the OG goatse, but drat if gap3 isnt a classic

gently caress you for being too lazy to google "AI Upscaler" and using literally the first result

:nws:https://i.imgur.com/8KimuXw.jpeg:nws:

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


Cowman posted:

someone needs to use an AI upscaler to get a proper 4k goatse goin

edit: there's some online ones where can I upload 4k goatse

My thoughts as well. We can rebuild him. Better. Wider. Deeper.

e: ^ Eh, looks pretty blurry

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

At the end of 2018, a study was published by London Metropolitan University showing that certain bacteria, normally present only in intestinal tracts or feces, were found on McDonald's self-service screens.




Hey OP you could just make your own high res Goatse. Let me know if you need a camera man.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

That just looks slathered in vaseline, you can't just upscale true art. However, thread delivers now so thank you for you're service.

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

BOOware the cow





Colonel Cancer posted:

That just looks slathered in vaseline, you can't just upscale true art. However, thread delivers now so thank you for you're service.

it's what you get for free online upscalers. I'm not paying for proper AI upscaling goatse someone else can do that :shrug:

Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

the belly button hungers

Hell Gem

Cowman posted:

gently caress you for being too lazy to google "AI Upscaler" and using literally the first result

:nws:https://i.imgur.com/8KimuXw.jpeg:nws:

I forgot AI upscalers existed and also was just wondering if someone had a higher res version of the OG image but also this pic you've created is beautiful, it has a painterly quality, it would look great printed on canvas

Jose Oquendo posted:

Hey OP you could just make your own high res Goatse. Let me know if you need a camera man.

Immensely gaped assholes in 4k are pretty common online these days but nothing beats a classic

my dog died im sad
Jun 29, 2015


13 different ghosts are hidden in the goatse image. But you need a high res version.

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

BOOware the cow





:nws:https://i.imgur.com/yT3sSQ7.jpg:nws:

Last try using another website.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Looking back at the original it seems so provincial and limited in scope. I bet conebros could bring a proper sequel to goatman, in glorious 4K

Flowers for QAnon
May 20, 2019





Today just didnít FEEL like a day Iíd click multiple goatse links, purposefully.

Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

the belly button hungers

Hell Gem

Cowman posted:

:nws:https://i.imgur.com/yT3sSQ7.jpg:nws:

Last try using another website.

THIS one, this is it, im replacing my reserve link

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...


I'm waiting for it to hit the criterion collection before double dipping.

Blue Footed Booby
Oct 4, 2006

got those happy feet




Slippery Tilde

Bula Vinaka posted:

The original image was uploaded to Usenet in September 2000, as part of a .zip collection, called gap.zip.

The resolution was 480 x 360.

Here's gap.zip:

:nws:https://www77.zippyshare.com/v/ZLN7l0PQ/file.html:nws:

The famous "hello.jpg" goat rear end image from the goatse.cx is gap3.jpg

hth

I'm not on a platform where I can unzip. Does this include the video?

Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

the belly button hungers

Hell Gem

Blue Footed Booby posted:

I'm not on a platform where I can unzip. Does this include the video?

no, its just 40jpgs but still impressive in its own right

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask.


Colonel Cancer posted:

False advertising op

Mr. Meagles
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts




i downloaded all the hi rez goatmans posted ITT and inspected them in photoshop. pixel by pixel.

they're 100% pure. the real deal.

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001



I had never really thought about it before, but was the original goatse taken on film? Has anyone taken any steps to make sure the negative is preserved?

Revins
Nov 2, 2007



the highest res goatse is the one that's burned into your brain from having seen it a couple dozen times

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

I ran crying to the mods because someone bought me a title with naughty words in it. (twice!)
I am the world's softest bitch and you you should remind me of it forever. If this text is gone it's because I couldn't handle being a fucking loser.


Smellrose

Colonel Cancer posted:

False advertising op

beep by grandpa
May 5, 2004



if u post in a thread on SA with goatse literally in the title u should be able to in-line it without getting into trouble imo

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...


Knormal posted:

I had never really thought about it before, but was the original goatse taken on film? Has anyone taken any steps to make sure the negative is preserved?

Disney managed to buy the rights a couple years ago but for some stupid loving reason they still have no plans to release it.

Gentle Autist
Jun 4, 2003



Bismuth posted:

Whats the highest res version of Goatse out there? I know it came from a time when the internet was fresh and anything over 500 pixels across was inconceivably large, but what is the largest, most crisp version of goatse anyone's seen? I have a goatse link on reserve, but its only 960x720 and pretty grainy. I'm pretty sure i've seen edits that use the hands that are in much better quality than what I have.

I want a real collectors edition goatman link I can treasure and will to future generations, something you could hang over your mantle and not have people criticizing the jpeg compression

i can sell you an nft of the goatman for the low low price of $500,000

Gentle Autist
Jun 4, 2003



beep by grandpa posted:

if u post in a thread on SA with goatse literally in the title u should be able to in-line it without getting into trouble imo

:agreed:

beep by grandpa
May 5, 2004



be honest. who among us has ever clicked on a goatse thread and wasnt a little bit disappointed when the coward OP doesn't deliver

a few DRUNK BONERS
Mar 25, 2016



aren't ai upscalers trained on faces and not gaping assholes

you're going need a larger butthole training set if you want to be able to properly upscale goatse

Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

the belly button hungers

Hell Gem

beep by grandpa posted:

if u post in a thread on SA with goatse literally in the title u should be able to in-line it without getting into trouble imo

:agreed:


how dare you quote this after both the OG image and cowman's lovely scale-ups have been posted

Gentle Autist
Jun 4, 2003



a few DRUNK BONERS posted:

aren't ai upscalers trained on faces and not gaping assholes

you're going need a larger butthole training set if you want to be able to properly upscale goatse

they train on mostly white peopel so they are pretty accurate

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001



SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

Disney managed to buy the rights a couple years ago but for some stupid loving reason they still have no plans to release it.
drat that Disney Vault!

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BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Self Defense
Nil Satanus carborundum

Yeshua akbar!
(Xtian anarchisto, no bombo)


Cowman posted:

gently caress you for being too lazy to google "AI Upscaler" and using literally the first result

Gotta make sure that Goatman anus pic hasn't been digitally S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-D.

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