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Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Unleash the spooky, more slender you, just in time for the sexy costume season!

In this video series Slenderman himself will share his dark and forbidden secrets to staying slim and fit!


Also he will haunt every moment of your existence.

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Sherbert Hoover



slenderman isn't scary :colbert:

he's not even in my weight class


https://i.imgur.com/ZOIVskR.mp4ty ChubbyChecker

hot cocoa on the couch





Slendy Secret™ tip: gingers souls are 0 calories because they are completely empty, snack on them to fulfill cravings guilt-free!

Ventral EggSac



slenderman in a headband and leotard, dark forest jazzercise

Lock


start your own business from home by selling Slenderman Strong! these all-natural dietary and ritualistic supplements will ensure your good graces with the Cloven One and, if you are a top-10 seller, guarantee you a gilded seat of honor at the Feast of Baphomet! create your own network, and keep 25% of the souls from every new member you recruit INCLUDING from those they further recruit!



huge love to Tiny Myers for the fall '21 sig!

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Ventral EggSac



Sitting on a couch, speaking to camera: At first joining an organization run by an interdimensional horror being was fun and exciting. I felt empowered, like 'wow, I am self employed, making $1k a week. Sure I get nosebleeds, but look how skinny he is! It must be the real deal'.

Then I found out he was murdering people in the woods. And it's one of those moments when you stop and are like, am I in a cult?

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