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epic 2012 username
Mar 26, 2021
Probation
Can't post for 28 days!


I donít really get how they keep it secure or whatever. You fill the drat thing out with a pencil

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dr.acula
May 9, 2009

Billions and billions of fat clouds



Yes

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

They are safe in the knowledge that only idiots play the lottery

Tite Barnacle
Jun 4, 2014

Meowdy Purrdner



Grimey Drawer

You can try but in my experience anything involving a fake lottery ticket ends badly. Years ago they sold gag winning tickets that looked enough like real tickets that they were believable if you didn't read the fine print on the back. I knew a guy who got the absolute poo poo beat out of him for giving these things(along with authentic scratch-offs) as Xmas gifts. His friend (an idiot, admittedly) was convinced he had won 25k and immediately blew a couple grand of his own money to celebrate. Before actually verifying the ticket with the high tier lottery place. He was understandably pissed when he basically got laughed out of the place.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


epic 2012 username posted:

I don’t really get how they keep it secure or whatever. You fill the drat thing out with a pencil

The lottery knows where and when every ticket was sold so not really

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask.


Not anymore because each lotto ticket is registered with a bar code back at central lotto hq and unless you can replicate everything perfectly it's gonna be immediately obvious

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011





Don't listen to these naysayers OP, I think you're on to something, and I think you can make it happen

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here


Nap Ghost

no because computers

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Just buy all the lottery tickets and then you don't have to fake the winning number, it's simple

hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009





Tite Barnacle posted:

You can try but in my experience anything involving a fake lottery ticket ends badly. Years ago they sold gag winning tickets that looked enough like real tickets that they were believable if you didn't read the fine print on the back. I knew a guy who got the absolute poo poo beat out of him for giving these things(along with authentic scratch-offs) as Xmas gifts. His friend (an idiot, admittedly) was convinced he had won 25k and immediately blew a couple grand of his own money to celebrate. Before actually verifying the ticket with the high tier lottery place. He was understandably pissed when he basically got laughed out of the place.

lol

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

Lotteries hate this one weird trick: see into the future what numbers are gonna win then enter those. Legally they have to let you win then.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

If you just sell fake lottery tickets, op, it's all the profit with none of the risk. Most people aren't expecting to win so it's just like taking candy from a baby

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.



Couldn't I just start my own gas station and then print hundreds of thousands of lottery tickets covering every possible number combination so that I am guaranteed to win, and then taking out a loan to inject money into my cash register and saying it's the amount I was paid for all of those tickets

Ramrod Hotshot
May 30, 2003



new goon project, but this time it'll definitely work

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

lotto is just a tax and its easier just to cheat on your regular taxes OP

Songbearer
Jul 12, 2007




Fuck you say?


Tite Barnacle posted:

You can try but in my experience anything involving a fake lottery ticket ends badly. Years ago they sold gag winning tickets that looked enough like real tickets that they were believable if you didn't read the fine print on the back. I knew a guy who got the absolute poo poo beat out of him for giving these things(along with authentic scratch-offs) as Xmas gifts. His friend (an idiot, admittedly) was convinced he had won 25k and immediately blew a couple grand of his own money to celebrate. Before actually verifying the ticket with the high tier lottery place. He was understandably pissed when he basically got laughed out of the place.

An actual hero is rare in this day and age

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I'm really just hurting on the inside. Los Angeles Sparks RULE!


I've simply become clairvoyant to see the numbers in advance and just don't tell you, because I hate you, op

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I'm really just hurting on the inside. Los Angeles Sparks RULE!


That's not true. I'm not clairvoyant, op.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


deep dish peat moss posted:

Couldn't I just start my own gas station and then print hundreds of thousands of lottery tickets covering every possible number combination so that I am guaranteed to win, and then taking out a loan to inject money into my cash register and saying it's the amount I was paid for all of those tickets

Ya but you'll still lose the numbers here are staggering.

Peggy Edson
Oct 15, 2004
I AM AN UTTERLY PATHETIC TESTAMENT TO HOW SHITTY THESE FORUMS HAVE BECOME. PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY.


Lol op how loving stupid are you

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008


poo poo man who needs a fake? I KNOW this next one is gonna be the one! Mamma's gonna retire in the Keys baby!

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

The more you temper a stick, the stronger it becomes

Fun Shoe

Tite Barnacle posted:

You can try but in my experience anything involving a fake lottery ticket ends badly. Years ago they sold gag winning tickets that looked enough like real tickets that they were believable if you didn't read the fine print on the back. I knew a guy who got the absolute poo poo beat out of him for giving these things(along with authentic scratch-offs) as Xmas gifts. His friend (an idiot, admittedly) was convinced he had won 25k and immediately blew a couple grand of his own money to celebrate. Before actually verifying the ticket with the high tier lottery place. He was understandably pissed when he basically got laughed out of the place.

Yeah at one of my old jobs someone did that to someone else there once and the poor guy was walking around bragging about the winning ticket and everything. The person who gave the ticket to him was an older guy with a limp though so I don't think he ended up getting his rear end beat over it

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008


Ginette Reno posted:

Yeah at one of my old jobs someone did that to someone else there once and the poor guy was walking around bragging about the winning ticket and everything. The person who gave the ticket to him was an older guy with a limp though so I don't think he ended up getting his rear end beat over it

Maybe that's how he got the limp. Old guy's been pranking for years

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

The more you temper a stick, the stronger it becomes

Fun Shoe

Treecko posted:

Maybe that's how he got the limp. Old guy's been pranking for years

Entirely possible. He has been pranking for years. He's one of the funniest people I've ever met and he's just this older guy with a limp who delivers pizzas. He's still doing it as far as I know.

naem
May 29, 2011



tell no one if you win the lottery. verify you have a real winning ticket, give two full weeks notice at work and tell people you got a job in another state. let them buy you a goodbye cake from safeway and act normal. tell family youíre on an extended vacation or maybe work related trip for a month and complain it will not be fun

move away to not that state you told former coworkers about but a secret third location, live frugally. contact a law firm that specializes in sudden wealth and tax stuff etc, basically get all your ducks in a row for a little privacy and professional financial help

oh and this is for like ten million plus

if you won like $25k well congrats: tell no one, spend none of it. Now you have an adequate savings account against one minor life setback. get your car tuned up and put some new tires on there, maybe buy a couple new vidja games. Buy the latest iphone. save the rest ya mook

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I'm really just hurting on the inside. Los Angeles Sparks RULE!


i won the lottery

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I'm really just hurting on the inside. Los Angeles Sparks RULE!


it was meeting you, gbs

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I'm really just hurting on the inside. Los Angeles Sparks RULE!


because there's no way in heck anybody sucks my god drat balls like you do

eSports Chaebol
Feb 22, 2005

Yeah, actually, gamers in the house forever,

deep dish peat moss posted:

Couldn't I just start my own gas station and then print hundreds of thousands of lottery tickets covering every possible number combination so that I am guaranteed to win, and then taking out a loan to inject money into my cash register and saying it's the amount I was paid for all of those tickets

for the actual big lottery it would be more like hundreds of millions of tickets so no

there have been a couple of goofy lotteries where in certain cases, yes, buying all the tickets was a winning proposition. so people did it until the states realized was was happening and shut down those lotteries

https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/this-couple-found-a-math-error-in-lottery-made-27-million-playing-over-over-for-55-weeks.html

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015



Theres just as much probability that the numbers will be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 as any other combination and if you ask me those numbers are about due to come in

Strategic Tea
Sep 1, 2012

Please ensure incidental bones are logged under the appropriate cost code.


The lottery is how the wizard cabal pays its secret informants OP, they already know who is going to 'win' and it's not you

eSports Chaebol
Feb 22, 2005

Yeah, actually, gamers in the house forever,

Chrs posted:

Theres just as much probability that the numbers will be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 as any other combination and if you ask me those numbers are about due to come in

lottery tickets with sequences of numbers with exceptionally low entropy in fact have a smaller EV than those with random numbers, because of the increased likelihood of multiple people purchasing tickets with the same numbers, leading to a split pot :eng101:

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Boner M
Sep 21, 2021
Probation
Can't post for 27 days!


yeah you just fill it out after you saw the results then take it in.

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