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Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer

WoodrowSkillson posted:

that just loving sucks, what a loving waste

Shoot the dude into the sun, give his son to someone who actually wants a kid.

Reminds of when I worked in a copy center, and the dude had a ton of receipts and poo poo he needed copied. He also needed a therapist, but as I was helping him do the work, he let it all out for me. That he, a 60ish year old man, fell in love with a beautiful young lady from an Asian country (that's what he said), and he brought her over here, married her, brought her family over here too, and she, a beautiful lady in her mid 20's...proceeded to cheat on him, have a child with the affair partner, a dude her own age, and he felt so used and trapped because he was so in love, how could she use him like so?

And all I could think was, dude, she is young enough to be your granddaughter, you tell me.


AITA for saying I don’t see girls as competition?

quote:

I was with this girl I was talking to and a group of friends today. Girl in question was talking about this really hot girl she saw on the train. I was listening, and I would say if she described a hot guy I’d be annoyed and a bit jealous but I didn’t care since it was a girl. My reasoning is, if it was a guy I would start sizing myself up mentally against him, to see who’s more attractive as per what I know about her type— she likes tall guys with nice hair and strong jawlines so who is taller, has nicer hair and a more prominent jawline, etc? But girls have different standards, so it’s harder to compare, like apples and oranges. It was like if I ran track and was the best on my team and I was asked if I was better than my school’s best basketball player— like by what metrics? The two things are measured totally differently. So in the realm of attractiveness alone, it’s a lot more difficult to be put head to head and come out lacking.

My friend pointed out I would have been jealous if it was a guy she was praising, and I explained my rationale. She got my rationale, but another girl in the group I was with thought my statement was sexist because I was ‘underestimating’ women.

That’s not really the case because I’m saying in this particular case of looks, they can’t be compared well, not that girls are inferior. And in other cases (such as intelligence for instance) I’d consider a smart girl as much competition as a smart guy, so I’m not underestimating anyone.

She persisted and said I was being sexist and an rear end in a top hat. AITA?

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The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

Hughlander posted:

I need a cigarette after that one...

I read only the updates and felt a limited sympathy for the guy, then I went back and read the OP and just like that it went away.

Dr. Video Games 0135
May 20, 2003

That's gonna be a zoinks from me, Scoob
poo poo is just depressing. Nuking your entire life to plow a 25 year old who was just trying to gold dig. gently caress. How do you resist the urge to just smoke the ol' Smith & Wesson after that?

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Dr. Video Games 0135 posted:

poo poo is just depressing. Nuking your entire life to plow a 25 year old who was just trying to gold dig. gently caress. How do you resist the urge to just smoke the ol' Smith & Wesson after that?

Seems like he's mostly living for his son at this point. Poor kid, none of this was his fault. :smith:

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Dr. Video Games 0135 posted:

poo poo is just depressing. Nuking your entire life to plow a 25 year old who was just trying to gold dig. gently caress. How do you resist the urge to just smoke the ol' Smith & Wesson after that?

"the funding dried up" for his passion project business can't blame him for that.

I really wonder what the business was exactly. There's even chance it was something insanely dumb like trying to buy and then resell sports memorabilia at a stupid high mark-up.

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


AITA for asking for an apology when MIL was caught lying about me to family?

quote:

MIL and I used to have a bad relationship. I’d say it’s neutral now. We don’t really see her much but we don’t fight anymore.

Around the time we got married MIL lost her loving mind. She began behaving very erratically, not sleeping or eating. Then she realized our wedding was a month after her 40th birthday and decided she was going to outdo our wedding.

It became a really toxic competition. I was young at the time and got hurt pretty easily and it out a damper on my wedding planning because everything I got she got something better. Her birthday dress was so much prettier than mine and at the time I was a broke 21 year old and it was devastating.

The day of her party I went to check on her and found her cutting her dress up. I asked what the gently caress she was doing and she just said she didn’t want to wear it anymore. I was in shock but not my dress so not my problem.

She met some guy a few years later and moved. We don’t really talk anymore and visit maybe every other year for like three days. Well on our last visit I found out that she had told her sister at the time that I cut up the dress and that’s why her sister hates me. I found this out because her sister was joking about how she wants my house to burn down and how she wants to make me suffer for the dress.

I told her sister that was a lie and MIL did that herself. The sister confronted MIL who cried and said she couldn’t remember who cut it. Finally she admitted she cut it and lied because she couldn’t explain why she did it. To be honest I think she did it because she was mad she couldn’t be the bride. She was super weird with her own wedding dress.

Anyway her sister shrugged it off and I said it was embarrassing and asked her for an apology. Her husband snapped at me and said why would I embarrass her and I have no empathy. Her sister said i need to let it go because obviously she was embarrassed. I did but I don’t think I was an rear end in a top hat for asking.

Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Skutter posted:

I have not, but I'm getting sick of the "my MIL hates me and she is a crazy insane person who hates us". They usually have the following characteristics:

- The MIL hates the OP, to an irrational extent, where they will even forego a relationship with their child (generally their son because the OP is usually a woman)
- The MIL always has a boyfriend or husband who isn't the OP's partner's father (and this partner is usually a huge piece of poo poo too)
- Either the MIL is rich, or her boyfriend/husband is rich, and she refuses to spend money on the OP and their family
- Dress drama: Either the MIL wants to wear or did wear an inappropriate dress to the OP's wedding, or the MIL is getting married and the OP hates their wedding dress, and threats of destruction of the dress is mentioned often
- If the OP has kids they hate the kids or just don't care about them, and they refuse to buy them anything or interact with the kids at all

There are a couple different twists on this story (like the daughter will do something lovely to the MIL but try to say it's okay because MIL sucks), but there have been so many in the past few months that you know what the high notes will be before you even read them.

Content so I don't get dinged:
AITA for not letting my cousin live with me?

quote:

My cousin wanted to live with me for free while he did his unpaid internship. My wife said no. She works from home, and we have two kids, 2 and 4. My wife hired a housekeeper to help out every other week. It’s been a huge help on our work schedule.

My cousin offered to help with child care and cleaning for free rent. I like our housekeeper, and I’m not going to take away part of her income.
I turned my cousin down and told him it was not the best time to have someone living in my house.

My aunt and grandma have sent me an itemized bill for $25,000. On this bill is every birthday and Christmas gift they ever got me. Times have cooked for me as a kid. Wedding gifts, baby shower gifts, and interest from these items.

I have decided to go no contact with both because I found it disturbing that they think this kind of behavior is ok. My mom thinks I’m overreacting, and they need extra funds to help my cousin out. She said they are just showing they have helped me out my whole life.

My wife told me I’m not to give my family any money now or not to lift a single finger for my family ever again after this stunt. I agree with her on going no contact after this. It’s insane, but my family said it was a joke and I should get over myself.

Edit typos

Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for making a bake shop re-do my order multiple times?

Sounds like OP got some bad ombres.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


pentyne posted:

"the funding dried up" for his passion project business can't blame him for that.

I really wonder what the business was exactly. There's even chance it was something insanely dumb like trying to buy and then resell sports memorabilia at a stupid high mark-up.

Either dog heelies or soup tubes.

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for pricing my custom cakes so high, just to discourage people from asking me for cakes.

From a while ago, but recently I found Can You Sew This For Me? on Instagram and it's a great thing to get mad at.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

trickybiscuits posted:

From a while ago, but recently I found Can You Sew This For Me? on Instagram and it's a great thing to get mad at.

Ok the one where she gets hired to make an exact duplicate dress because the fit was perfect and then it turns out the person who owned the dress, has not, in fact, fit inside it for years was just the little tale I needed.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Cowslips Warren posted:

Shoot the dude into the sun, give his son to someone who actually wants a kid.

Reminds of when I worked in a copy center, and the dude had a ton of receipts and poo poo he needed copied. He also needed a therapist, but as I was helping him do the work, he let it all out for me. That he, a 60ish year old man, fell in love with a beautiful young lady from an Asian country (that's what he said), and he brought her over here, married her, brought her family over here too, and she, a beautiful lady in her mid 20's...proceeded to cheat on him, have a child with the affair partner, a dude her own age, and he felt so used and trapped because he was so in love, how could she use him like so?

I feel lucky in comparison, last time a guy just needed someone to talk to around me he told me about how he used to abuse meth and cocaine, knew just doing talk therapy wouldn't stick so he took over a friend's basement. Boarded up the windows, locked the doors and said "whatever you hear, whatever I say, don't let me out for a week." Apparently it worked.

Bubblyblubber
Nov 17, 2014

Invisible Clergy posted:

Sounds like OP got some bad ombres.

Are you a bad enough ombre to berth ell president?

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.

Hughlander posted:

How can I manage the resentment my girlfriend (25F) and I (42M) have for each other?


Update 1: How can I (42M) build my relationship back up with my kids (minor teens, Fx4) after an affair?


Update 2: UPDATE: How can I (42M) build my relationship back up with my kids (minor teens, Fx4) after an affair?


I need a cigarette after that one...

Same, and I don’t even smoke.

At least he seems to realise what a shithead he’s been.

olylifter
Sep 13, 2007

I'm bad with money and you have an avatar!

Bruceski posted:

I feel lucky in comparison, last time a guy just needed someone to talk to around me he told me about how he used to abuse meth and cocaine, knew just doing talk therapy wouldn't stick so he took over a friend's basement. Boarded up the windows, locked the doors and said "whatever you hear, whatever I say, don't let me out for a week." Apparently it worked.

the Sickboy method. not ideal if you're lacking in moral fibre

Credulous Skeptic
Oct 31, 2012

pentyne posted:

"the funding dried up" for his passion project business can't blame him for that.

I really wonder what the business was exactly. There's even chance it was something insanely dumb like trying to buy and then resell sports memorabilia at a stupid high mark-up.

Dog wheelies

eb Goddamn it

Credulous Skeptic fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Jan 27, 2022

ScienceSeagull
May 17, 2021

Figure 1 Smart birds.

coronatae posted:

I went to a funeral that featured a Christian mime performance but the deceased had been really into Christian mime

How are Christian mimes different from other mimes?

coronatae posted:

I want to do that thing where you boil pasta in wine, it was very fashionable for a while.

Cost Plus World Market used to have wine flavored/infused pasta.

Silly Newbie
Jul 25, 2007
How do I?

ScienceSeagull posted:

How are Christian mimes different from other mimes?


Way more t posing.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

ScienceSeagull posted:

How are Christian mimes different from other mimes?

They get stuck in a glass tomb

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


A guy I am seeing is playing mental games on purpose.

quote:

I (30F) saw a group text between him(41M) and his guy friends basically saying that you have to damage a woman’s self esteem to keep them in line. I knew I wasn’t crazy when I felt he was ignoring me on purpose or negging when I know I’m a beautiful woman. It was to purposely hurt me. Of course I’m leaving him but I want him to hurt a bit before & after I go so he knows not to do this to another woman. Any ideas? I was going to get him to take me on a hefty shopping spree, then end things kindly w a smile on my face.

thunderspanks
Nov 5, 2003

crucify this


Mx. posted:

A guy I am seeing is playing mental games on purpose.

Sounds like they're both perfect for eachother

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Mx. posted:

A guy I am seeing is playing mental games on purpose.

Seems like a great way to cement all this guy’s toxic ideas and redpill him for good

RenegadeStyle1
Jun 7, 2005

Baby Come Back
I think a guy that's 41 and doing this stuff is already redpilled plenty.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

Mx. posted:

A guy I am seeing is playing mental games on purpose.

Sounds like MRA / incel / <x>pill bait.

But then you see people post poo poo like this

Elissimpark
May 20, 2010

Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

trickybiscuits posted:

From a while ago, but recently I found Can You Sew This For Me? on Instagram and it's a great thing to get mad at.

Best response in there:

"People die from exposure."

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
AITA for not consulting my GF on a “big” decision?

quote:

So I (29M) own my house and my girlfriend of 2 years Molly (28F) stays over frequently. So our situation is that molly doesn’t like her apartment so she stays most of the week at my house. I’m cool with it as I love having her around obviously. I pay for all the bills and have never asked molly to contribute. She does buy groceries for us and will buy crafty items for the house. But she’s never been asked financially to contribute as she still has her own apartment she stays at about once or twice a week. I’d say the cooking and cleaning is split at my place pretty fair with us each doing about 50/50. We haven’t discussed moving in together or anything like that.

So I have a finished basement that isn’t really being used but is a great space. Molly has always had these plans to make it into something. I’ve always wanted to make it my man cave but molly wanted to make it like a basement living room and dining space. She would always watch HGTV and say things like “see we could turn that basement into this”. But we haven’t made any sort of decision in over a year and the space was being left unused. So molly left last week for a week long trip to see her parents. During that time my best friends Shea stayed for a week due to some housing issues at her place. One night I was scrolling through tik tok and saw this badass man cave set up. I talked to shea about the idea and she was down too. We went to Home Depot that night and started the project. We designed everything and over the course of a week finished everything. Painted, designed the bar, built a bar, found an old ping pong table on marketplace, got all my sports memorabilia out of boxes, hung a ton of pics, hooked up a speaker and a projector screen. We created this really badass man cave. Shea works in construction so she offered a lot of experience and I wouldn’t have been able to do it on my own.

When molly got home on Sunday she flipped out. Saying she couldn’t believe I did this without consulting her. I was kinda ticked off because it looked awesome and she didn’t even say anything positive. Just got offended she wasn’t consulted. I said she doesn’t pay for the house, didn’t have any real plans for the space, it’s my house and I don’t see why I need to consult her to make a decision on my house. She’s been acting all standoffish since and won’t even hang out in the basement while I’m spending a lot of my time here. My friends say that I’m right and it’s my place. That were not married or even living together so it’s my choice what happens to my house. But my mom called me an idiot. AITA?

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Hughlander posted:

How can I manage the resentment my girlfriend (25F) and I (42M) have for each other?


We started an affair and she baby trapped me.


No sympathy for this idiot. There is no such thing as babytrapping, men are responsible for their side of birth control.

Wrap it up, affairalailures!

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

therobit posted:

AITA for not consulting my GF on a “big” decision?
If you don't live there, you don't get a say :shrug: No, not even if you stay there so often you 'might as well' live there- if you haven't officially moved in, it doesn't mean poo poo.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

I think an AI wrote this one...

AITA for telling my friend exactly why I don’t want her alone with my boyfriend?

quote:

I (19f) have friends who are a married couple, Jay(19f) and Emily(19f). They are a polyamory couple and they have an open relationship, so they can be with who they please. Now, Jay, likes to be with committed men. She’s been with many, saying she loves knowing she can get any man she wants and they’ll always choose her. She even went as far as to get one of them to leave his wife for her, then dumped him saying she never wanted anything serious!! Her wife tells her it’s disgusting to be with a married man especially since none of them have open relationships.

I have a long-term boyfriend (19m) and we’ve been together for 3 years, he has high functioning autism (he wanted me to clarify) and a great partner over all. I trust him with all my heart and soul. We are in a monogamous relationship. My boyfriend, our friends, and I have been friends since high school.

Onto the issue, last year, Jay went drinking and admitted to me that she wants to sleep with my boyfriend. I told her if she ever tried anything, id never forgive her and I’d opt out of our friendship. Today she asked me if I could send my boyfriend over to her house to hang out since I was at the gym and my boyfriend stays home as he has crippling anxiety. I told her since her wife isn’t home (she was with me at the gym) I’d rather my boyfriend stay home until I get there and then we can all hang out. I thought it would be an easy answer.

She explained that ever since she confessed to me, I’ve been distancing him away from her, and she asked me why. I said we can talk about that later when I get home since I was literally running on a treadmill.

I get a call from my boyfriend asking me to come home because Jay came over to our house but he gets uncomfortable with anyone unless myself or another party is involved. I go home with Emily to my house. Jay asks me if I have an issue with her being alone with my boyfriend. I was already pissed as I had to leave the gym early so I admit I did kinda lose it. I said “well, you can’t expect me to fully trust you given your history with committed men, and the fact that you brought up your confession makes it seem like you had ill intentions.”

She starts crying saying I don’t trust her, I remind her that she’s ruined a lot of our close friends relationships by sleeping with their boyfriends. She ran home crying. She says she’d never do that to me and I need to apologize or she’s ending the friendship. Emily is torn because she loves her wife but agrees that I have a point. I’m wondering if I’m the AH because I feel like I should just trust her since she’s one of my closest friends, but I just can’t. AITA for telling her exactly why I don’t want her alone with my boyfriend?

And because I can see this coming, I trust my boyfriend with everything I have. Plus, he cries if someone touches him without letting him know first so he’d call if something happened.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
drat, she's gonna do everything in her power to try to gently caress that shut in goon

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


AITA for refusing to give my unborn son my husband's last name?

quote:

Hello.

I (f26) have been married to my husband (m31) for 3 years, and we're expecting a baby boy together.

When I married my husband I kept my maiden name which he was perfectly okay with. We already discussed this and agreed that any future kids we have will automatically take his last name. His family considers this huge deal and I decided to keep to just go with it.

But recently I started thinking about it a lot more and figured that it would be unfair for my unborn son to take my husband's family name and not mine. I talked to my family and they said my husband and inlaws are ridiculous to push this on me without a compromise expecting I go with it. So I went home and told my husband that I've changed my mind about the last name thing and want to either have both our last names combined or my last name to be given to our son. He was confused saying we had an agreement and then asked what was the cause of this sudden change of mind. I told him and he said I can't just do that and called me selfish when I pointed out that I'm the mother I get a say too.

We went back n forth on this and he said no way he and his family will let me do this to his son, as if my last name is a disgrace. We had a fight and we stopped talking after this. He said that I broke and violated my part of the deal and I should just 'deal' with it now but I won't accept it.

AITA?

Reddit decreed this woman an rear end in a top hat because she AGREED, you can't CHANGE YOUR MIND about something, that's BAD!

its_my_birthday
Sep 18, 2020

Hughlander posted:

I think an AI wrote this one...

AITA for telling my friend exactly why I don’t want her alone with my boyfriend?


don't have sex with my bf who's mentally a child is p reasonable i guess

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

keep punching joe
Jan 22, 2006

Die Satan!
I find life is a lot easier when you eliminate all the messy drama lovers from your social group. Here's my life experience 19f.

Walh Hara
May 11, 2012

Metis of the Hallways posted:

AITA for refusing to give my unborn son my husband's last name?

Reddit decreed this woman an rear end in a top hat because she AGREED, you can't CHANGE YOUR MIND about something, that's BAD!

What the heck are you talking about? She can change her mind, but she's still an absolute rear end in a top hat for doing so when she agreed something else. Do you really think that it's impossible that breaking a prior agreement is an rear end in a top hat thing to do?

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011

Muldoon

Malachite_Dragon posted:

If you don't live there, you don't get a say :shrug: No, not even if you stay there so often you 'might as well' live there- if you haven't officially moved in, it doesn't mean poo poo.

naw the mom is the one with the right judgment

dude was entirely within his rights to do it, but is also an idiot

its_my_birthday
Sep 18, 2020

keep punching joe posted:

I find life is a lot easier when you eliminate all the messy drama lovers from your social group. Here's my life experience 19f.

I'd love to hear more about your life experience, but preferably how it only affects your gym routine to make sure it really resonates

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Walh Hara posted:

What the heck are you talking about? She can change her mind, but she's still an absolute rear end in a top hat for doing so when she agreed something else. Do you really think that it's impossible that breaking a prior agreement is an rear end in a top hat thing to do?

So she can't change her mind, is what you're saying?

Tenebrais
Sep 2, 2011

Hughlander posted:

I think an AI wrote this one...

AITA for telling my friend exactly why I don’t want her alone with my boyfriend?

quote:

I (19f) have friends who are a married couple, Jay(19f) and Emily(19f). They are a polyamory couple and they have an open relationship, so they can be with who they please. Now, Jay, likes to be with committed men. She’s been with many, saying she loves knowing she can get any man she wants and they’ll always choose her. She even went as far as to get one of them to leave his wife for her, then dumped him saying she never wanted anything serious!! Her wife tells her it’s disgusting to be with a married man especially since none of them have open relationships.

Seems like a rare case of a poly/open relationship working when it probably shouldn't. How can you know your wife makes a habit of deliberately breaking up couples, be against it, and just leave it at that?

greazeball
Feb 4, 2003



Walh Hara posted:

What the heck are you talking about? She can change her mind, but she's still an absolute rear end in a top hat for doing so when she agreed something else. Do you really think that it's impossible that breaking a prior agreement is an rear end in a top hat thing to do?

Changing your mind about something and then discussing it with the other party before the event takes place is difficult but it's what adults do. Here's what assholes do:

Wait until the child is born, then give it the name you want without warning
Never say anything and let the "hidden" resentment fester for years
Demand that nobody is allowed to change their mind about anything ever once they have spoken their thoughts

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Walh Hara
May 11, 2012
Look, this is not difficult:

Can she change her mind? Yes, she can.
Is her husband justified in saying that she broke her word? Yes, obviously.

She can change her mind, but she shouldn't be surprised that her husband considers her an rear end in a top hat for doing so.

edit: to be clear, discussing this now can be both: a good thing to do, and an rear end in a top hat thing to do, at the same time. But in that case she's the rear end in a top hat for agreeing to something that she knew he found important when in fact she did not agree with it.

Walh Hara fucked around with this message at 11:13 on Jan 27, 2022

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