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a.p. dent
Oct 24, 2005

out of fyad or bust

it's definitely real, and i have it!!

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Dreylad
Jun 19, 2001


i also have it having read and now moderated cspam. thanks for nothing

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Jozy loves scoring like a fat kid loves eating cake.




checking my official cia-issued guide to moderating cspam and it says that havana syndrome is definitely 100% real, anyway apropos of nothing i have noticed the crickets are unusually active these days

Dreylad
Jun 19, 2001


important Primers

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/11/19/the-mystery-of-the-havana-syndrome

quote:

If there was a weapon, of whatever kind, who wielded it? And to what end? Despite a long investigation into the incidents, the U.S. government can’t answer these questions. “It’s been more than a year and a half since the first reported health incident in Havana, and we know no more today about the cause than we did then,” Leahy said. In September, NBC News reported that U.S. intelligence agencies considered Russia to be the main suspect, citing evidence from communications intercepts. But intelligence officials, in interviews with The New Yorker, insisted that they still had no evidence of Russian complicity.

The Cubans say that their investigation has stalled. When U.S. lawmakers visited Havana last January, the Interior Ministry showed them a PowerPoint presentation, which concluded that the ministry had “run out of all investigative possibilities to shed light on the events.” Johana Tablada argued that there was simply nothing to find. “After a year and a half, the most powerful nation on earth hasn’t been able to present one single piece of evidence,” she said. But some see the absence of evidence as proof of a sophisticated operation. “The harder it is to figure this out, the more it lends credence to the fact that it was something that was directed,” Rubio said. “Havana is one of the most heavily surveilled cities on the planet. There is no way the Cubans don’t know who did it—if they didn’t do it themselves.”

Tablada said that she disagreed with virtually everything that Rubio has ever said about Cuba. But, she said, “on one thing, I agree with Marco Rubio. Such a thing cannot happen in Cuba without the Cubans knowing. The thing is, it didn’t happen.”

DeLaurentis, like others at the Embassy, is outraged by the Cubans’ denials. In conversation with former colleagues, he still gets upset by suggestions that the Thing was imaginary. “It did happen,” he says. “I know it did.”

https://www.wsj.com/articles/havana-syndrome-symptoms-11626882951

quote:

On Oct. 8, President Biden signed the Helping American Victims Afflicted by Neurological Attacks (HAVANA) Act, which authorizes additional medical and financial support for intelligence officers and diplomats affected by the syndrome.

god drat do Americans love acronyms lmao

Dreylad has issued a correction as of 16:49 on Oct 21, 2021

a.p. dent
Oct 24, 2005

out of fyad or bust

absolutely incredible that they passed a bill based on "when you think about it, it's even MORE suspicious that there's no evidence"

mawarannahr
May 21, 2019



can’t they just Number the acts to save us this horrible pain of initialisms

ted hitler hunter
Apr 6, 2009

THE POSSESSION OF WEALTH IS IN AND OF ITSELF A SIGN OF POOR VIRTUE. AS SUCH:
1 NEVER TRUST ANY RICH PERSON.
2 NEVER HIRE ANY RICH PERSON.
BY RULE 1, IT IS APPROPRIATE TO PRESUME THAT ALL DEGREES AND CREDENTIALS HELD BY A WEALTHY PERSON ARE FRAUDULENT. THIS JUSTIFIES RULE 2--RULE 1 NEEDS NO JUSTIFIC





I feel tired. I think the hardcore commies got me. I've been drinking water instead of pure grain alcohol, maybe that's it.

Fleetwood
Mar 26, 2010



remember when the black goo started melting down Rudy Giulianis face on TV? our nation's enemies did that

paul_soccer12
Jan 5, 2020


a.p. dent posted:

absolutely incredible that they passed a bill based on "when you think about it, it's even MORE suspicious that there's no evidence"

this has been prevailing logic since the cold war

Good soup!
Nov 1, 2010



Gayvana Syndrome

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Jozy loves scoring like a fat kid loves eating cake.




a.p. dent posted:

absolutely incredible that they passed a bill based on "when you think about it, it's even MORE suspicious that there's no evidence"

lack of evidence just proves that our cunning, nefarious enemies are really good at hiding evidence

MLSM
Apr 3, 2021



Havana syndrome is even dumber than the anthrax propaganda 20 years ago

mark immune
Dec 14, 2019



yeah, havana 'nother cold war to increase defense spending!!!

Fleetwood
Mar 26, 2010



Joseph Schumpeter posted:

...That policy which pretends to aspire to peace but unerringly generates war, the policy of continual preparation for war, the policy of meddlesome interventionism. There was no corner of the known world where some interest was not alleged to be in danger or under actual attack. If the interests were not Roman, they were those of Rome's allies; and if Rome had no allies, then allies would be invented. When it was utterly impossible to contrive such an interest–why, then it was the national honor that had been insulted. The fight was always invested with an aura of legality. Rome was always being attacked by evil-minded neighbors, always fighting for a breathing space. The whole world was pervaded by a host of enemies, and it was manifestly Rome's duty to guard against their indubitably aggressive designs.

Slider
Jun 6, 2004

POINTS


Good soup! posted:

Gayvana Syndrome

a.p. dent
Oct 24, 2005

out of fyad or bust

i'd like to demonstrate my patriotism by accepting a trip to havana for the foreseeable future. i will absorb all the harmful cricket rays for our beautiful intelligence community.

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014



it's funny because my name also happens to be havana...havana humpalot

John Charity Spring
Nov 3, 2009

SCREEEEE



please ban any havana syndrome deniers, mods

a.p. dent
Oct 24, 2005

out of fyad or bust

John Charity Spring posted:

please ban any havana syndrome deniers, mods

QCS thread incoming

Joss Laypeg
Oct 11, 2007
A psychotic is a guy who's just found out what's going on. - WSB

it’s also funny because American diplomats are literally psychologically torturing themselves over something imaginary, which is both cool and good and something they should be doing at all times

Dreylad
Jun 19, 2001


John Charity Spring posted:

please ban any havana syndrome deniers, mods

:hai:

Laterite
Mar 14, 2007

It's Gutfest '89

Grimey Drawer

havana roni

Laterite
Mar 14, 2007

It's Gutfest '89

Grimey Drawer

Yossarian-22 posted:

it's funny because my name also happens to be havana...havana humpalot

my queen

Brrrmph
Feb 27, 2016

YOSPOS




don’t havana a cow man

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Jozy loves scoring like a fat kid loves eating cake.




John Charity Spring posted:

please ban any havana syndrome deniers, mods

banned, banned, banned, youre all banned. none of you are free of headaches

Mr. Sharps
Jul 30, 2006

The only true law is that which leads to freedom. There is no other.





woke up with a headache today could be either too much weed last night too much soju last night too much covid last night or maybe….?

a.p. dent
Oct 24, 2005

out of fyad or bust

wonder how long my relationship would last if i started saying "HAVANA SYNDROME, AGAIN??!" and cursing the russians every time my bf has a migraine (frequent). only one way to find out

30.5 Days
Nov 19, 2006


i hope our nation's intelligence officials are havana nice day

Too Many Birds
Jan 8, 2020




yeah i'm havana

havana real hard time lately :smith:

Pryor on Fire
May 14, 2013

I ain't no movie star, man. I'm a booty star!

the intel agencies seem to be doing a bang up job getting all their toys stolen and encryption cracked and spies killed off, if I was working in that industry rn you bet your rear end I'd fake some havana syndrome to get retired ASAP

30.5 Days
Nov 19, 2006


I don't think they're faking, all the symptoms for havana syndrome just sound like regular stress disorder symptoms

Judakel
Jul 29, 2004

MAGA FAN #1


the real havana syndrome is my crippling depression, papi

The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003



30.5 Days posted:

I don't think they're faking, all the symptoms for havana syndrome just sound like regular stress disorder symptoms

I'm calling it Empire Collapse Stress Disorder, DSM VI baby

30.5 Days
Nov 19, 2006


havana syndrome is like if in an episode of the sopranos dr melfi was like "hey tony i heard that all your weird rear end breakdowns actually mean the fagouli family is moving in on your turf its very manly of you to put up this for so long"

dead gay comedy forums
Oct 21, 2011




a.p. dent posted:

wonder how long my relationship would last if i started saying "HAVANA SYNDROME, AGAIN??!" and cursing the russians every time my bf has a migraine (frequent). only one way to find out

lmaaoooooo

Syncopation
Feb 21, 2020


havana syndrome pride flag

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012




Lipstick Apathy

a.p. dent posted:

it's definitely real, and i have it!!
you shouldn't have drank all those mojitos!!! i told you to go light on the lime juice

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012




Lipstick Apathy

Too Many Birds posted:

yeah i'm havana

havana real hard time lately :smith:
i hope this tune cheers you up :glomp:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q7ub4aMOFs

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





Oh my god, I got hit by a laser beam, and now I have chronic lime, gluten sensitivity, chi imbalance, alkaline blood, and microscopically misaligned vertebrae.

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ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





But seriously, I don't know how to handle how loving gullible the entirety of the United States government is at all levels

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