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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
hello lum, you're a beautiful space alien in a tiger bikini and we are married together. i married you after defeating you in combat, and you have a small horn on your head. i feed you tater tots by throwing them into your mouth from across our small table. we spend a lot of tiome in the breakfast nook. oh! there is whipped cream on your nose, from the fancy coffee drinks i make for you. come here, i will fix

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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood

Nosfereefer posted:

please help. my wife keeps beating me in hand-to-hand combat and how do i challenge her powerful kung-fu??

take her off her guard with an unexpected display of romantic intent. if she starts blushing cherry petals that's your sign to trigger your Final Smash

crimes

PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
me: good morning lum, my wife
my wife lum: good morning phiz khalifa

crimes

PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
me, cooking eggs: i hope lum likes eggs
lum: eggu! (does a dance where she steps and wiggles her elbows)

crimes

PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
Glamp: Glamorously reading CLAMP manga

crimes

PHIZ KALIFA

#mood

Lock posted:

get this, she’s a cute girl, AND a computer! is she real? is she human? the ethics!

yes but the one question the fans have is can she run linux


free Trapt CD posted:

enjoying domestic bliss with my 8th wife, lum, from urusei yatsura, but forbidding her gravely and expressly from ever opening the locked door at the very end of the hall.

giving my wife lum (as drawn by master mangaka rumiko takahashi) a gold box inlaid with abalone and ivory, wrapped in a white lace shawl, and demanding she never open it

crimes

PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
me: hey do you want a sandwich

lum (wife): sa-n-dwi-cho

me: haha okay i'll take that as yes.

crimes

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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood

thank you. he isn't up to calling me dad yet but we had a lot of fun at the park last week. this weekend they're coming over and we're going to build a gundam model while watching gundam. lum will wear and apron and peek through the kitchen door while making snacks, smiling at us as we are deeply engrossed in the intricacies of Gundam Assemblage

crimes

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