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Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970

A dick, but the biggest dick in the universe. No, bigger than the universe.

and the horse says my wife committed suicide this morning

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Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

An A+ Spooky Poster (:

The horse says "i am barnacle Jim(PBUH)"

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004




That's very sad

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



Bartender says why'd she wait to do it in the morning horse says well she was always more of a night mare

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970

A dick, but the biggest dick in the universe. No, bigger than the universe.

The Bloop posted:

That's very sad

she thought of ants on purpose

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002



The horse doesn't speak English so it shits on the floor and leaves.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!




PsionicAnt
Jul 16, 2001


Ventral EggSac posted:

Bartender says why'd she wait to do it in the morning horse says well she was always more of a night mare

Dang I bet you been chomping at the bit to post this one. Why don't you rein it in a little

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970

A dick, but the biggest dick in the universe. No, bigger than the universe.

PsionicAnt posted:

Dang I bet you been chomping at the bit to post this one. Why don't you rein it in a little

pony up a few bucks for these ones

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





In truth, the horse feels relief. He knew his marriage was on the rocks. She hated him.

The only real concern he has under his façade of grief is that someone might blame him. He's planning on leaning into it and pretending it was unexpected and hoping for more sympathy.

He knew. It was better this way. The alternative was a messy divhorse

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970

A dick, but the biggest dick in the universe. No, bigger than the universe.

ikanreed posted:

In truth, the horse feels relief. He knew his marriage was on the rocks. She hated him.

The only real concern he has under his fašade of grief is that someone might blame him. He's planning on leaning into it and pretending it was unexpected and hoping for more sympathy.

He knew. It was better this way. The alternative was a messy divhorse

god drat you

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970

A dick, but the biggest dick in the universe. No, bigger than the universe.

im sorry to inform everyone the horse couldnt take it and broke his own leg on purpose, thoughta and prayers

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




A guy walks into a bar

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




He says "ow"

NC Wyeth Death Cult
Dec 30, 2005

He lost his life in Chadds Ford, he was dancing with a train.

A bear walks into a bar...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_CfmfWxVuM

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004




I'm still sad for that poor horse

Peggy Edson
Oct 15, 2004
I AM AN UTTERLY PATHETIC TESTAMENT TO HOW SHITTY THESE FORUMS HAVE BECOME. PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY.


:imunfunny:

garfield hentai
Feb 29, 2004


i was ready to just hoof it out and gait of this thread since i wasn't really foaling the OP's joke - nothing funny about an animal who's mentally unstabled - but the mareathon of horse puns are really the mane attraction here. geldmine worthy imo

sigher
Apr 22, 2008

Touch Fuzzy, get Spooky


She probably found out that her husband killed a man by loving him in the rear end in a top hat.

Songbearer
Jul 12, 2007




Fuck you say?


Sid Vicious posted:

im sorry to inform everyone the horse couldnt take it and broke his own leg on purpose, thoughta and prayers

Shame, I guess he missed her nagging

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

At the end of 2018, a study was published by London Metropolitan University showing that certain bacteria, normally present only in intestinal tracts or feces, were found on McDonald's self-service screens.




A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey you know you have a steering wheel attached to the crotch of your pants?"

The pirate goes, "Yarrrrrrrr I know. It's drivin me nuts!"

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


and the horse says "I no longer take pleasure in activities I used to enjoy."

Songbearer
Jul 12, 2007




Fuck you say?


A bar walks into a barRRR[STACK OVERFLOW]

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS


A tiny pianist walks into a bar. "I'll have a Three Wishes" he says to the barkeep. The man next to him sobs.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





A blonde a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar, then a genie grants their wish for a priest, a rabbi, and an imam, and the dog says "who's there"

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan




she walked back into the hole. again.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


What's the hardest part about rollerblading?


Getting out of bed in the morning.

syntaxfunction
Oct 27, 2010


A man walks into a bar. It was my dad. Every loving night. And day. Just drinking. Didn't care. Just drink more. It doesn't matter, we're fine. He needed a break. We must have been bad kids. I'm sorry dad.

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


Sounds like you're just trying to stirrup trouble, OP

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse to gently caress!

Myrddin_Emrys
Mar 27, 2007

A man who never made a mistake, never made anything


I walked into the doctors stroking a shetland pony tucked under my arm. The doctor said 'why the long face?'
I said 'im feeling a little horse'

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


hosed a horse, went to jail, sheriff asked me why the long face, I said being saddle do that to ya

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



Horse walks into a bar, bartender says "why the long face?" Horse says, "cause my name is Bart" Bartender shoots him dead

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Porpoise noise continues.

The horse doesn't hear him and instead....

Ponies up to the bar

Bags Fly at Noon
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







sigher posted:

She probably found out that her husband killed a man by loving him in the rear end in a top hat.

Pretty sure Mike Pence is still alive.

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008


The horse raises a single eyebrow at the bartender and says "you know, there's nothing better for the inside of a man than my horse dick"

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004




Bags Fly at Noon posted:

Pretty sure Mike Pence is still alive.

God, that poor horse

HORSE-SLAUGHTERER
Nov 11, 2020

H O R S E - S L A U G H T E R E R

the horse panics and kicks several people in the head while trying to escape the bar

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003






Sid Vicious posted:

and the horse says my wife committed suicide this morning

lol

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runnypoops
Mar 26, 2016

been there. done that. prove yourself to me.

drat thats some dark rear end humor OP well done

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