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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood


oh you've never had kumbaya fruit before? its delicious. the elflings of elftopia grow it in their friendship forests. or, at least.... they used to. before the Boner Plague...

you draw your scimitar. your hirelings have a katana, falchion, flying guillotine, and meteor hammer. i draw a lazpistol. i execute everyone in a single action. "but wait.." you sputter, spitting blood out of your mouthhole. "where did you find such a powerful artefact?" i smirk. "i recovered it from the treasure pits of the Mysterious Space Station Crater, where that mysterious space station crashed, a thousand years hence..."

the genitals police kick down my door. "our horny radar detected illegal quantities of horny in the vicinity... surrender now" i spread my hands out in a magnanimous gesture. "gentlemen this is a monastary. we have never been horny." they nod and leave, satisfied. as i hear their lime green miatas peel out, i return to my closet, and climb down the secret ladder, to the Orgy Chamber, where loving and sucking is expected as a minimum

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Ventral EggSac



"are you ready to hunt for your father's treasure" the sultry half-fairy asks. I pull out my map, my glance rolling across the fire region, water region, air region. Bingo. He buried in the earth, after all.

Nosfereefer



packing my lunch; fairy banana, wizard's yoghurt, goblin juice, and a sandwich

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Nosfereefer



daring the treacherous path thru the stoned giants' realm, and past the tower of the high weedzard, to trade magic herbs with the bonglings

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

PHIZ KALIFA

#mood


me driving through town: hey elf buddy, you remember when ron paul opened his Freedom Hole, allowing the denizens of the Nevereverland to colonize us normies in the real world?

Tol'Chok, who is a gnome and has given up reminding me: ha ha yeah man, youre not racist at all.

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood


Nosfereefer posted:

packing my lunch; fairy banana, wizard's yoghurt, goblin juice, and a sandwich

(pushes glasses up nose) it would only be called a sandwich if it was created by the earl of sandwich. technically it should be called a dra'kak'bothat'anam, which is elfish for "meat and cheese pressed tightly between bread, as a mother hugs her child."

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

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