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Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Congratulations, goon. Your wealthy uncle has just passed away and has left you ten thousand dollars in his will. The only catch? You must post overnight in the spooky old thread at the top of Dirge Hill. They say that years ago, dozens of posters were permabanned in that thread... by whom? Nobody knows. Some say a long forgotten admin in a drunken frenzy. Others say a mod just cracked... got pushed too far, one too many times. Others say it was the hammock kitten itself, stirred to life by some unspeakable instinct.

But that's just silly talk. It's just a thread! Look-- one post, zero views. What's the worst that could happen? You're not superstitious, are you? So pull up your gamer chair and put on some lo-fi tunes to study and vibe with, and come... post... in The Thread at the Top of Dirge Hill!!!!

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Heather Papps


hello internet friend




i need this ten thousand dollars. for my gambling debts.


i'm nuts about fall

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Very good, very good... you can set your bags down in the Champagne Suite. I assure you that any red fluid that gushes from the taps after dark is... champagne. Red champagne, which is very rare and cool.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




excellent. as soon as the other guests arrive i plan to take my medication and pass out for the duration of the challenge. is this within the rules?


i'm nuts about fall

Ventral EggSac



I am wearing a bulletproof vest

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Heather Papps posted:

excellent. as soon as the other guests arrive i plan to take my medication and pass out for the duration of the challenge. is this within the rules?

But of course, you may repose in this gorgeous victorian king-sized canopy bed.. here, I'll crack a window for you... this thread gets so drafty, my word... don't mind the scraping and rasping at the glass... that's just... well... surely it couldn't be lurkers....




Ventral EggSac posted:

I am wearing a bulletproof vest

A dapper choice, very fine. However we do require formal dress for dinner, but no worries, a plastic bib will be provided as well as a novelty chef hat that says "RUB A DUB DUB MAKE ROOM FOR THE GRUB" for those guests who have not brought their own.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Percy Teatwillow

let us go out this evening for pleasure, for the night is still young


uhm, yeah, so, idk where it came from but a disembodied head resembling my dead grandfather’s just rolled down the steps and shattered a vase which like… whatever I guess, but you’re not going to bill me for that, are you? it looked real expensive. like, def over $10k expensive.

actually, now that i’m looking at the bottom of the staircase, the vase fixed itself. in fact there’s two of them now. we good?

edit: dozens of heads are now overflowing from the vases and i am NOT cleaning these up. sorry not my problem !!!!


https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HardtofindImpossibleHoneyeater-mobile.webm
^^^special shout-out to vanisher^^^

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'gently caress off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
Lurkers Must Ghost

by Pragmatica


Percy Teatwillow posted:

uhm, yeah, so, idk where it came from but a disembodied head resembling my dead grandfather’s just rolled down the steps and shattered a vase which like… whatever I guess, but you’re not going to bill me for that, are you? it looked real expensive. like, def over $10k expensive.

actually, now that i’m looking at the bottom of the staircase, the vase fixed itself. in fact there’s two of them now. we good?

edit: dozens of heads are now overflowing from the vases and i am NOT cleaning these up. sorry not my problem !!!!

Oh that just means you've won the Super Special Funtime Prize. We left it in the basement for you. Be careful, some of the stairs are creaky and there may be cobwebs but you have every reason to leave with all of your limbs

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Percy Teatwillow posted:

uhm, yeah, so, idk where it came from but a disembodied head resembling my dead grandfather’s just rolled down the steps and shattered a vase which like… whatever I guess, but you’re not going to bill me for that, are you? it looked real expensive. like, def over $10k expensive.

actually, now that i’m looking at the bottom of the staircase, the vase fixed itself. in fact there’s two of them now. we good?

edit: dozens of heads are now overflowing from the vases and i am NOT cleaning these up. sorry not my problem !!!!

How embarrassing! We'll take care of that right away. So sorry for the inconvenience. Ok, turn around and head right back up to your room, no need to look back and scrutinize whose heads they are or what they're articulating through wordless, soundless screams. Actually in fact, you know what? We'll comp you a bit of room service for the trouble. I hope you like Deadver... I mean DENVER omelettes.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




so the bathroom faucets.... are they supposed to be full of maggots? is this some new health fad.


i'm nuts about fall

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Heather Papps posted:

so the bathroom faucets.... are they supposed to be full of maggots? is this some new health fad.

Oh those are... rice crispies. Impossible Rice Crispies. They look and taste just like meat!

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Pot Smoke Phoenix

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Ghouled Mango posted:

Congratulations, goon. Your wealthy uncle has just passed away and has left you ten thousand dollars in his will. The only catch? You must post overnight in the spooky old thread at the top of Dirge Hill. They say that years ago, dozens of posters were permabanned in that thread... by whom? Nobody knows. Some say a long forgotten admin in a drunken frenzy. Others say a mod just cracked... got pushed too far, one too many times. Others say it was the hammock kitten itself, stirred to life by some unspeakable instinct.

But that's just silly talk. It's just a thread! Look-- one post, zero views. What's the worst that could happen? You're not superstitious, are you? So pull up your gamer chair and put on some lo-fi tunes to study and vibe with, and come... post... in The Thread at the Top of Dirge Hill!!!!

Your *gulp* reg date is....

OCTOBER 31ST 2021.

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN BORN YET!

So anyway I can't wait to join in!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto

Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


What has not been born can never di-- I mean, hah, what a funny glitch. Better... u h better go get a mod to f...f-fix that

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Nosfereefer



i don't believe in no mods or admins, and im gonna claim that insurance for sure!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




when do you hand out the loaded guns?


i'm nuts about fall

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Ahh... this is actually a bazooka mansion. Bazookas will be served after aperitifs

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Lurkers Must Ghost

by Pragmatica


Nosfereefer posted:

i don't believe in no mods or admins, and im gonna claim that insurance for sure!

Luckily you don't have to believe in something for it to hurt you

Hmm, did I say luckily? I meant to say, oh my it's time for apertifs. Everyone to the smoking room please. No it's not the room that's actually smoking.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Ventral EggSac



I leaned against a sconce and it dropped me into a hole with bones, but they don't look like people bones? They have horns? Is that normal? Idk I'm not a doctor

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Ventral EggSac posted:

I leaned against a sconce and it dropped me into a hole with bones, but they don't look like people bones? They have horns? Is that normal? Idk I'm not a doctor

Don't be alarmed, this is the wing pit. During dinner you may dispose of your spare chicken bones into the convenient gaping maw at your feet.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Lurkers Must Ghost

by Pragmatica


Ghouled Mango posted:

Don't be alarmed, this is the wing pit. During dinner you may dispose of your spare chicken bones into the convenient gaping maw at your feet.

Please do not put live meat into the gaping maw. Management accepts no responsibility for loss of appendages

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.


I stumbled into the acid basement while looking for a place to shitpost. Good thing I was wearing my hanging harness so the skeletons could pull me out.

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Buttchocks posted:

I stumbled into the acid basement while looking for a place to shitpost. Good thing I was wearing my hanging harness so the skeletons could pull me out.

It's come to our attention that you didn't tip the skeletons. While gratuity is of course left to your discretion, I would advise you that you can't count on skeletons always being there for you, like my yaya used to tell me.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




these candles are very nice where did you get them?


i'm nuts about fall

biosterous




hello i am here and i brought enough pumpkins for everyone



thank you nut for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs

get your probe badge here
he/him or they/them, either works

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.


This thread will be locked at midnight. If you wish to log out you must do so now.

Percy Teatwillow

let us go out this evening for pleasure, for the night is still young


Heather Papps posted:

these candles are very nice where did you get them?

HELL


https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HardtofindImpossibleHoneyeater-mobile.webm
^^^special shout-out to vanisher^^^

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'gently caress off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
Percy Teatwillow

let us go out this evening for pleasure, for the night is still young


Ghouled Mango posted:

How embarrassing! We'll take care of that right away. So sorry for the inconvenience. Ok, turn around and head right back up to your room, no need to look back and scrutinize whose heads they are or what they're articulating through wordless, soundless screams. Actually in fact, you know what? We'll comp you a bit of room service for the trouble. I hope you like Deadver... I mean DENVER omelettes.

as long as they’re cheesy i’m easy to pleasy 🤠


https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HardtofindImpossibleHoneyeater-mobile.webm
^^^special shout-out to vanisher^^^

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'gently caress off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
Heather Papps


hello internet friend





ah yes Household Effects: Lights Limited


i'm nuts about fall

Pot Smoke Phoenix

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Lurkers Must Ghost posted:

Luckily you don't have to believe in something for it to hurt you

Hmm, did I say luckily? I meant to say, oh my it's time for apertifs. Everyone to the smoking room please. No it's not the room that's actually smoking.

Great, you have an unborn twin...

Hi!

Sherbert Hoover



hello, my name is Mustache Sunglasses and i've never even met my uncle, much less am him


https://i.imgur.com/ZOIVskR.mp4ty ChubbyChecker

nut

by Hand Knit


haha *motions to suit of armour posed holding a sword above its head* what’s this guys deal haha some people I swear to god

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Sherbert Hoover posted:

hello, my name is Mustache Sunglasses and i've never even met my uncle, much less am him

Good good, that would be very awkward... I hated your uncle and I'm glad I ki-, um, I'm glad he tragically died from eating snake bread.

Now how about you all assemble in the study and enjoy some brandy, get to know each other. Discuss your pets? Perhaps... discuss your crimes? And when you do discuss your crimes please enunciate clearly and try to lean in towards this skull-shaped centerpiece.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




HELLO sorry hello i'm hp and my main crime i guess is all the gambling i've done.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)


i'm nuts about fall

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


KABOOM


oh my word!

I'm sorry, my apologies, a bolt of lightning seems to have cut off the power to this rickety old thread at the top of Dirge Hill. Let me just light this oil lamp... one moment... oh dear lord!!! Sweet merciful god in heaven!! Heather Papps has been probated!!!!!

Everyone stay calm and don't leave this room! We'll get to the bottom of this and in the mean time please do continue disclosing your crimes.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

nut

by Hand Knit


is it a crime to witness a heinous murder?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Sherbert Hoover



crime? haha no, I've never committed a crime per se. it... it was just business you know!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)


https://i.imgur.com/ZOIVskR.mp4ty ChubbyChecker

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Everyone please step away from your posting beanbag chairs! There's a mod or an IK present with us in this rickety old thread and who knows who might be probed next??

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Fleetwood



what's going on in here? I smell burgers? The guy at the door said– well there was a guy at the door. he said, he said to help myself? they smell so good. when I was in high school I worked at this ski resort, workin' the grill, you know.... this is amazing! they came in wrappers just like this! I stole so many of theesmfffphhmmf. oh ,wow sorry. so many, it was ridiculous. this burger is perfect

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Ghouled Mango

by Pragmatica


Another probed body AND a pile of perfectly good burgers, spilled hither and yon all upon the floor of this rickety old thread at the top of Dirge Hill!!! When will this nightmare end???

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

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Lurkers Must Ghost

by Pragmatica


*sigh* Oh no, it happened again. I'll go get the broom.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

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