- Miss Broccoli
- May 1, 2020
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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I hope his ex wives/mistresses can take closure that this man won't ever knock on their doors again.
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Nov 11, 2021 03:13
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Apr 25, 2024 02:28
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- Miss Broccoli
- May 1, 2020
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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I was trying to go to sleep a few minutes ago and for some reason the enormity of these events finally hit me and I couldn't stop crying. I have no real life friends who give a poo poo about forums posting, so this is basically the only place I have to express these feelings, but I really feel the need to express them.
I would like this thread to be about our personal feelings about the death of Richard Kyanka, and how it has personally affected us. Just TV-IVing about the details as they come in, or wondering about SomethingAwful's future, and all of that bullshit has no place here. I need to write about my feelings about Lowtax. Obviously these posts will be mocked elsewhere on the forums, but gently caress em. If you feel the need to say anything, say it.
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Lowtax is an abuser. He abused his wife. We will probably never know exactly what he was thinking. Obviously I did not know Lowtax. I never saw him in person and never spoke to him. But he represented something very special to me. In such a cut-throat, dirty, dark, often disgusting, business he was one of the good ones. When people talked poo poo about posting and the bastards involved in it, you could always point out Lowtax as the exception to the rule. He was the one you could point to as a true professional who honored the sport he loved, who was passionate about it, who proved that you could dedicate your life to professional posting without being insane or scum or a monster. He was the ace in the hole. He was the one who wasn't in it for the pussy or because he was a failed poster in another website or definitely not because he wanted to get rich quick or because he wanted to be a movie star or because he saw posting as a means to an end. He was in it for the forums. He was dedicated to being the best website administrator he could be, and it showed in his front page posts.
I wanted to be a cool poster since I was a little kid, and one of the very worst moments of my life was a cold night in San Antonio when I was on the phone to my girlfriend a thousand miles away and finally admitted to myself and to her that buying this account and an avatar had been a mistake. Coming to grips that I was simply not athletically or charismatically talented enough to post in FYAD was one of the worst moments of my life. The business glorifies the boyhood dreams that come true. My boyhood dream wasn't going to come true, and it was an upsetting, soul-crushing revelation that upsets and discourages me to this day.
Since then I lived vicariously through Lowtax in a lot of ways. He wasn't a man who was destined to be a mainstream superstar. He couldn't box. He wasn't charismatic in the usual way. He was quiet. His neck didn't work. The only thing he had going for him was his posting ethic. He wasn't a third generation professional poster. He wasn't physically gifted. But through sheer effort he was able to become one of the most influential website administrators in history. By 40 years-old.
Lowtax was only forty, and he was already a legend on the verge of myth. That's how talented he was, and how respected.
I cannot reconcile in my mind that the man who unnecessarily gave back so much to the forums could die so young. I can't understand how a man could spend weeks and months trying to give back to younger guys like DocEvil, putting forth the care and effort to help them find their voice in the forums. Lowtax owed me nothing. But I still feel the loss. I selfishly lived through many of his accomplishments and now feel lost. I can only speak for myself, but I feel that for a lot of us the SomethingAwful forums are a rock of stability in a storm of stress and uncertainty.
And that will continue. But Lowtax is dead. And he died as a fail abuser. And whether it be insanity, drugs, or just the actions of a clear-eyed monster, what is done is done. And one of the pillars for the guys backstage and one of the pillars for fans is gone. And everything that pillar held up is tainted and dripping with mangosteen juice.
Lowax was an abuser. And I don't know how to accept that.
he was an abuser, a wifebeater... ...one of the good ones
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Nov 11, 2021 03:50
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- Miss Broccoli
- May 1, 2020
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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do we know how he died yet?
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Nov 11, 2021 08:56
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- Miss Broccoli
- May 1, 2020
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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I have been sitting for hours debating whether or not to disclose this, and I feel like it's something I do need to get off of my chest.
Frankly, I'm tried of being quiet. I've mostly had to stay quiet for years about things happening behind the scenes. I've held things inside so long and so hard my chest physically hurt the same way it is now.
I considered not sharing this out of respect for Rich's parents and sister, but after thinking on the incredibly vitriolic wall of text Rich's Mother sent to me this morning, saying upon many other things, that his blood is on my hands, I need to share it to regain some sense of control over what's taken place in the past 48 hours.
Yesterday I recieved a divorce ruling that would help me and my daughter stay in our home in Canada and allow me to provide a good life for her as well as pay back numerous debts that had accrued during the past two years when I was receiving $350 a month in child support.
In the divorce ruling the judge found that Rich had willfully spent down the martial find, confirmed his treatment of me was Domestic Violence and put together a plan to pay for the attorney fees etc. He would still retain custody settled on previously in mediation. He was due to get our daughter for Christmas.
An hour later I was contacted by my attorney who informed me that Rich had shot himself earlier in the morning.
So. There it is.
His other ex and I got to tell our children that their father died without saying goodbye to them, or that he loved them, or to my knowledge, left a note for them.
If you've made it this far thank you for giving me space to let this go so I know longer have to hold onto it.
I'm so loving sorry this has happened to you. Looks like the apple fell directly under the tree; his mums a gigantic piece of poo poo too. I hope you are yours are doing okay, you deserve so much better than those loving despicable human beings.
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Nov 11, 2021 09:02
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- Miss Broccoli
- May 1, 2020
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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The most charitable reading is that he honestly believed what he said about how he wasn't a domestic abuser and those crazy women were accused him for no reason. He clung pretty hard to that "never proven in court" thing and when that changed he couldn't handle it.
The less charitable reading is that he didn't want to live in a world where those crazy women and their pesky kids were going to be taking money out of his cookie n' pill budget.
lol go gently caress yourself dude
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Nov 11, 2021 09:45
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- Miss Broccoli
- May 1, 2020
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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hey futa lady
you said you have BPD which means you're familiar with the concept of FP. you're doing that super hard over a guy who was asked seriously if he supports our rights, and genuinely, non jokingly, replied basically saying he loves jerking it to tranny cock.
ya boy is a chaser and you were being groomed like his last ex with bpd was.
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Nov 13, 2021 02:52
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- Miss Broccoli
- May 1, 2020
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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this is pure speculation, but i'm gonna guess he wasn't very comfortable with his own sexuality
hey listen poo poo on the dead wife beater all you want but gently caress off with transphobia. dude was straight.
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Nov 13, 2021 03:07
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Apr 25, 2024 02:28
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- Miss Broccoli
- May 1, 2020
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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He had a fetish for trans women. I mentioned Bailey Jay in one of his streams once and his eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas morning. Mind you, I'm not judging him for his fetish, but apparently he had an issue distinguishing between trans women as sexual objects and trans women as actual human beings with agency. *shrug*
ya dude had an uncontrolled dehumanising fetish for trans women.
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Nov 13, 2021 03:14
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Nov 11, 2021 03:13
