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SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


I was reading the cooking instructions for this package of meatballs and Walmart has not only a comical warning label following cooking instructions. But it's also a lot of unproven faith in my actual cooking abilities. Like how do they know these meatballs are going to be hot after I've cooked them?

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hell astro course
Dec 10, 2009

pizza sucks



This isn't how you make meatballs at all! No idea what is going on here. I would probably have bought some groud beef, veal, pork, mix them together with some breadcrumbs and spices, then bake. Maybe the instructions are for people like me? Very confused here.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask.


you know what sucks? Trader Joes instructions.

Like, I have never, in my life, been able to cook a trader joes frozen meal without the ends being the temperature of the surface of the sun and the middle being colder than pluto. Never ever. Never happened

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

Oh, pretty, pretty, Blue Bongo!
Bongo-Bongo Blue!! Yah!


I'll bet any sum that is not-a spicy meatball

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013

HAIL SATAN



I find the reference to "sauce or gravy" in the stovetop directions vaguely ominous.

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

I bring my hyperbolic handwringing into every thread I can! No matter how tangential the topic, I'll shoehorn it in there.


Looks to me like the instructions are saying "It's very easy to cook these meatballs if you use an oven like a normal person but we'll include the other, more convoluted ways if you want to be a complete weirdo".

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





if it comes in a bag, it's going in the microwave or toaster oven

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


hell astro course posted:

This isn't how you make meatballs at all! No idea what is going on here. I would probably have bought some groud beef, veal, pork, mix them together with some breadcrumbs and spices, then bake. Maybe the instructions are for people like me? Very confused here.

It's an easy mistake to make. This is GBS. GWS is on down.

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long



Thanks for the cooking advice miss. But I'm probably going to go home and shove raw hotdogs in my mouth until I pass out watching a YouTube cat video.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




You can just eat the meatballs frozen if you want they are fully cooked they'll just be real crunchy

a few DRUNK BONERS
Mar 25, 2016



Smugworth posted:

You can just eat the meatballs frozen if you want they are fully cooked they'll just be real crunchy

no you can't do that

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013

HAIL SATAN



mom and dad fight a lot posted:

Thanks for the cooking advice miss. But I'm probably going to go home and shove raw hotdogs in my mouth until I pass out watching a YouTube cat video.

Sounds like my usual Thanksgiving.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




a few DRUNK BONERS posted:

no you can't do that

Try and stop me
I ❤️ haterz

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015



Andrex toilet rolls come with instructions

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

I bring my hyperbolic handwringing into every thread I can! No matter how tangential the topic, I'll shoehorn it in there.


Chrs posted:

Andrex toilet rolls come with instructions



These things suck. Not only do you need to use a seperate Andrex product to get yourself fully clean but you also have to use regular toilet tissue anyway to dry yourself off. And they have the nerve to say they're trying to be more sustainable on top of all this nonsense.

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001



Yaldabaoth posted:

Looks to me like the instructions are saying "It's very easy to cook these meatballs if you use an oven like a normal person but we'll include the other, more convoluted ways if you want to be a complete weirdo".
Pft, you expect me to wait 20 minutes for my m-balls?

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005






...cooking???

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



Subway meatballs. Just tell them to fill up a children's beach pail until it's full and charge whatever.

Fame Douglas
Nov 20, 2013

RELY NOT ON MY HONOR!!! FOR WHEN I OFFER MY WORD OF BOND, I TAKE NOT THAT VOW TO HEART!! CASUALLY, I BRING SHAME TO MY HOUSEHOLD AND RUIN TO THOSE WHO RELY ON MY COMMITMENT, BY SHIRKING MY AVOWED DUTY

Seth Pecksniff posted:

you know what sucks? Trader Joes instructions.

Like, I have never, in my life, been able to cook a trader joes frozen meal without the ends being the temperature of the surface of the sun and the middle being colder than pluto. Never ever. Never happened

Are you really unable to heat up frozen convenience food? lmao

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014

I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!



Cooking is a huge pain in the rear end and in 2021 we no longer have to make our own food like medieval French peasants.

Do you also ride a horse to work instead of taking a car, train, etc? Cooking is literally like that.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013

HAIL SATAN



a peck of pickled peckers posted:

Cooking is a huge pain in the rear end and in 2021 we no longer have to make our own food like medieval French peasants.

Do you also ride a horse to work instead of taking a car, train, etc? Cooking is literally like that.

This but unironically.

hell astro course
Dec 10, 2009

pizza sucks



a peck of pickled peckers posted:

Cooking is a huge pain in the rear end and in 2021 we no longer have to make our own food like medieval French peasants.

Do you also ride a horse to work instead of taking a car, train, etc? Cooking is literally like that.

i'll take my horse to work if i drat well please buster

Bags Fly at Noon
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







Yaldabaoth posted:

Looks to me like the instructions are saying "It's very easy to cook these meatballs if you use an oven like a normal person but we'll include the other, more convoluted ways if you want to be a complete weirdo".

Yes cooking meatballs in sauce is something only weirdos do.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Microwaves are of the devil

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...


Aight I admit I don't get the point of the OP. Is it "well duh of course it's going to be hot?"

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

Aight I admit I don't get the point of the OP. Is it "well duh of course it's going to be hot?"

That's just it! There is no point!

Mega64
May 23, 2008



Bags Fly at Noon posted:

Yes cooking meatballs in sauce is something only weirdos do.

Does semen count as a sauce, asking for a friend

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Only if you microwave it

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015

:hellyeah::histdowns:

I followed the instructions, the sauce I used was one I had lying around called "Mad Dog 375 Plutonium No. 9."
These meatballs definitely taste off somehow, maybe they needed another 5 minutes.

Bags Fly at Noon
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







Mega64 posted:

Does semen count as a sauce, asking for a friend

I prefer to think of it as more of a condiment but if you’ve got enough to cook meatballs in why not.

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008


If you put frozen meatballs in the Sunday Gravy you’d get two in the back of the loving head and end up in a dumpster in Bushwick.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...


Smugworth posted:

That's just it! There is no point!

I can't accept that

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

CLICK HERE TO PLEASE THE WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE

Stirring Occasionally would be a great band name !!! :eek:

Off to find that thread

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

Your Best Paw Forward

Ham Wrangler

drat those microwave instructions are more complicated than some surgeries

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

Aight I admit I don't get the point of the OP. Is it "well duh of course it's going to be hot?"

Incorrect. The point is that the warning says the product will be hot without knowing if I actually followed the directions up until that point. Hope that helps.

Strategic Tea
Sep 1, 2012

Please ensure incidental bones are logged under the appropriate cost code.



How is this even possible for anyone to do? How is an ordinary American, who as we know works 22 hours a day and has four children on the verge of starvation, supposed to find time to do this?

Gonna get $40-a-pop family fast food meals every day (plus delivery) *makes six figures*
:goonsay:

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canqued
Jan 18, 2020


I called 1 877 505 2267 and as soon as the person who answered the phone figures out how to type in this thread's URL that I've been screaming at them for the last half hour you all are in big trouble.

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