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chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.



  • a focus on nature or the seasons
  • a division into two asymmetrical sections that juxtaposes two subjects (e.g. something natural and something human-made, two unexpectedly similar things, etc.)
  • a contemplative or wistful tone and an impressionistic brevity
  • "telegram style" syntax; no superfluous words
  • an emphasis on imagery over exposition
  • avoidance of metaphor and similes
  • non-rhyming lines
  • a three-line format with 17 syllables arranged in a 5𤪛 pattern, or about 10 to 14 syllables, which more nearly approximates the duration of a Japanese haiku with the second line usually the longest. Some poets want their haiku to be expressed in one breath
  • little or no punctuation or capitalization, except that cuts are sometimes marked with dashes or ellipses and proper nouns are usually capitalized

Haiku were introduced to me in primary school as kind of an application of something you can use your knowledge of what a syllable is, but big boy poets will tell you syllable counting isn't really what they're about. Of course, poetry isn't about following rules in the slightest, but using severe constraints can be a fun way to exercise creativity.

So if you post in the thread, your posts have to try to include a fully compliant haiku that follows all of those rules above. All of them. It's harder than it looks. Fortunately you don't have to make a good one, just a compliant one.

I'll start us off with a few attempts based on of poo poo happening to me right now:

crushing weight of air
swamp dominating river
deadline tomorrow

approaching waves roar
breaks into hiss on white sand
nearby house says sold

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Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!




soft grass under moon
skin and coil are entwined
dawn is far away

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS





Derpies say Tuggin
Genesplicer gets very mad
See you in Six, Derps

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004


here he comes
and he's gone again


Nap Ghost

leaves cracking with cold
dancing stream grows icy caps
away, a firetruck wails

WILDTURKEY101
Mar 7, 2005

Look to your left. Look to your right. Only one of you is going to pass this course.

poo comes from a small hole
pee, from one even smaller
i need to shower

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004




endless waterfalls
pouring rain throughout the night
awaken to piss

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS





pee pee doo doo butts
shouting into the voideless
classic nooner thread

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask.


Snake woman, mouth wide
Ready to devour prey
You're right, she burgin'

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017


i am a river of piss
full bodied stream of urine
gay gay gay gay gay gay

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

admins are fuckmans
the krust remains unbusted
suck my goddamn balls

FutonForensic
Nov 11, 2012



I'll do a haiku
poo poo, how many syllables?
Might be one short

Condimentalist
Jun 13, 2007


Moist warm flesh on me
Hot rich dusk cream limp grunt moan
Raw night see love joy

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!




Seth Pecksniff posted:

Snake woman, mouth wide
Ready to devour prey
You're right, she burgin'

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS





Seth Pecksniff posted:

Snake woman, mouth wide
Ready to devour prey
You're right, she burgin'

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003





Seth Pecksniff posted:

Snake woman, mouth wide
Ready to devour prey
You're right, she burgin'

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Water upon stone
A blissful experience
I flush the toilet

EVERY TIME GOING
Mar 17, 2006

cant stop wont stop


Perfect haiku is
impossible, my senpai.
I am gay 4 u

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Self Defense
Nil Satanus carborundum

Yeshua akbar!
(Xtian anarchisto, no bombo)


Derpies posted:

Derpies say Tuggin
Genesplicer gets very mad
See you in Six, Derps

EVERY TIME GOING
Mar 17, 2006

cant stop wont stop


Forcing memes for fun
Even when not on 4chan.
Never not do it.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

fuck the molice


Floating asteroid
Need to buy some school supplies
You're soaking in it

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020



[bridge] one two three four
let's see if you've got some more
play it all night long

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


Garfield is orange
offers big cow lasagna
I cannot leave him

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Oh god I am bored
Sitting in here by myself
gently caress you oh pee. poo poo.

Gaze into that hole
You know which one I talk of
Hey, there is no ring!

By popular demand fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Nov 25, 2021

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS





tug tug tug tug tug
tug tug tug tug tug tug tug
tug tug tug choo choo

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?


Perfect haiku

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Low tax is dead now
I will shed no tears for him
Moderators knew

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Mimic is cool film
It is my first time watching
This fine morn is made

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.



Seasons in transit
Winter for eternity
Thanks for all the smog

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008


pine-dusted gutters
carry swirling yellow rain
as the pavement steams

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS





Derpies posted:

tug tug tug tug tug
tug tug tug tug tug tug tug
tug tug tug choo choo

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.



Trees are digital
Sky is hallucination
None of this is real

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.



Only trust your fists
punch away all bad people
Hero Mike Tyson

runnypoops
Mar 26, 2016

been there. done that. prove yourself to me.

My penis is small
Also it is very hard
Please touch my penis

runnypoops
Mar 26, 2016

been there. done that. prove yourself to me.

I took some dick pills
Now my dick is big and strong
Burst of white, now sleep

runnypoops
Mar 26, 2016

been there. done that. prove yourself to me.

I am very sad
Why am I always alone
Personality?

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020



lol it's dark at 5
and mornings are loving cold
eat a dick, winter

kazr
Jan 28, 2005



runnypoops posted:

I am very sad
Why am I always alone
Personality?

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

runnypoops posted:

I am very sad
Why am I always alone
Personality?

wait this isnt the doing ok millenial in the city thread

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~


Grimey Drawer

roses are red
violets are blue
people who count syllables
i've got bad news for you

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Akratic Method
Mar 9, 2013

It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.



what is a haiku? I don抰 get this thread at all

way too confusing

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