quote:

CM Punk made his entrance for the opener, but MJF interrupted it. He walked to the ring, mic in hand, and started to speak, but was drowned out by chants. MJF said Punk ignored his handshake request last week like a "little b*tch." He said that Punk's famous "pipe bomb" promo was his best moment, but every moment is MJF's best moment. MJF said that Punk looks like a meth addict and called him ugly.

When Punk was asked all the young talents he wanted to wrestle in AEW, he'd mention seemingly everyone -- except MJF. That's because he doesn't want any of MJF. MJF said he'd finish Punk quicker than his UFC career. Punk can drop pipe bombs all he wants, because he's MJF, and he drops nukes.

Punk said he was disappointed in MJF. He thought this whole time, MJF stood for "my jealous fan." Punk didn't bring up MJF in interviews because he didn't want to feed into his ego. He's in MJF's head, probably because he's got a poster of Punk on the wall. Last week, he shut MJF up without saying a word. MJF thinks he's revolutionary, but in reality, he's "just a less famous Miz." Ouch.

MJF started to speak again, but was interrupted by "Miz" chants. He said that Punk is just nostalgia, and that he's been kissing rear end since he came to AEW. MJF accused Punk of getting soft, saying he may as well come out here and preach "hustle, loyalty, and respect." He said that Punk wouldn't come back because he was terrified. Deep down, Punk knows he's only ever been second-best, no matter whether it was Cena or Triple H. "I'm better than you, and you know it."

Punk said he's been doing this a long time. He sold out Madison Square Garden when MJF was marking out for Rosie O'Donnell. MJF will make the New York Times again, but "it'll be for the obituaries" this time. Punk said it pisses MJF off that he went after Darby Allin over him. MJF is too worried about the Four Pillars without realizing he's been replaced by Britt Baker. Punk's fine with being no. 2, because Chicago's the Second City. MJF will only ever be #1 if we wait around long enough for Tony Khan to have a daughter for him to marry. He's gonna punch MJF in his "needle d*ck" right now.

MJF removed his jacket and scarf and teased a fight, but rolled up the ramp.

CM Punk defeated QT Marshall (w/ Nick Comoroto & Aaron Solo)

Punk easily out-wrestled Marshall early on, including not falling for a distraction. Comoroto and Solo were sent to the back. Marshall got control after driving Punk's midsection into the corner, but Punk very quickly made a comeback and clotheslined Marshall to the floor, where he landed a diving clothesline ahead of a commercial.

Once back, Marshall hit a Liger Bomb for two. He taunted Punk, who came back with a high kick. Punk landed the top-rope elbow drop and called for the GTS, nailing it for the win.

**********

Christian Cage and Jurassic Express were backstage. Christian said they have all the momentum in the world, and their confidence is sky-high. Jurassic Express are the top-ranked tag team in AEW, and Christian's going to make sure they win the championships.

**********

Eddie Kingston was eating backstage and shouted out Jon Moxley. He was interrupted by Daniel Garcia and 2point0. They said that Kingston isn't hungry anymore and offered their help, because "you couldn't help your friend Moxley." Kingston exploded and a dozen people had to hold him back.

***********

The Gunn Club (Billy Gunn & Colten Gunn) (w/ Austin Gunn) vs. Bear Country (Bear Boulder & Bear Bronson)

Gunn Club attacked before the bell, but Bear Country took control with Boulder hitting a big press slam. The fight moved to the outside, where Gunn Club sent Bear Country into barricades and stairs. Colten hit the Colt .45 out of nowhere for the win.

– After the match, Darby Allin's music played and Sting came out. Austin charged up the ramp at Sting but was cut off with a huge tackle from Allin. Allin and Sting chased off the Gunn Club and stood tall.

**********

AEW Battle of the Belts was announced for Saturday, January 8 2022 in Charlotte.

*********

Adam Cole and Bobby Fish were backstage. Cole's heated. He said he and Fish were like "best friends," and then the real Best Friends walked up. Cole ran down the team one by one and offered up a match between him and Fish and Cassidy and YUTA.

**********

Team Taz and Lio Rush & Dante Martin were about to sign a deal, but Taz got impatient and Rush tried to end it. Dante, however, stopped Rush and signed the deal. Team Taz celebrated.

**********

Britt Baker said that Hayter would win the match and the tournament.

TBS Championship Tournament: Thunder Rosa defeated Jamie Hayter

They had a long collar-and-elbow tie-up to start. Hayter sent Rosa to the floor but was thrown into the barricade. Upon re-entry, Hayter cut Rosa off with stomps. Rosa came back with strikes and sent Hayter into the barricade once more before landing a running dropkick and a suplex on the floor. She went for a crossbody, but Hayter caught it and sent Rosa into the ring post ahead of a break.

Upon return, Rosa countered a superplex attempt and landed a missile dropkick for two. Hayter hit a big backbreaker for a two-count of her own. They traded forearms in the center of the ring until Rosa escaped a suplex and hit a Russian leg sweep. Rosa locked on the Peruvian Necktie, but Rebel distracted the official and Baker broke up the hold.

Rosa avoided a Baker superkick, who inadvertently hit Hayter. Rosa then dispatched Rebel and rolled Hayter up for the win. Rosa will face Jade Cargill in the semifinals of the tournament.

**********

Chris Jericho was asked backstage about what's next. 2point0 and Garcia interrupted all happy about throwing coffee in Kingston's face. Jericho advised them to cool it and made fun of one of 2point0's heads, leading to a "square head" chant. He said if they ever interrupted again, he'd knock their teeth down their throat.

**********

Britt Baker, Rebel, and Tony Schiavone were having Friendsgiving backstage. Baker said that it started off poorly because Thunder Rosa won, but it's okay, because she's still champion. Schiavone went to the video screen, reminding that Riho was never eliminated from the Casino Battle Royale at All Out. If Riho beats Baker on Friday, she earns a title shot.

**********

Bryan Danielson defeated Colt Cabana

They had a really nice technical exchange to open things up. Danielson laid in some hard strikes. Cabana came back with chops, jabs, and the bionic elbow. He wanted the Flying Apple, but Danielson reversed it into a release German suplex and followed it up with the corner dropkick. Danielson wanted a top-rope back suplex, but Cabana fought off and landed a moonsault for two.

Danielson came back and laid in his repeated curb stomps. He rolled over into the LeBell Lock, posed, and locked it on for the submission. Looked like he knocked out Cabana's tooth in the process.

– After a commercial break, Danielson was interviewed by Schiavone in the ring. Danielson pointed out that when he debuted at All Out, he got a much different reaction. He called the fans "fickle." He didn't just kick Cabana's head in, he kicked his teeth out. Danielson offered to kick any of the Dark Order's heads in. He turned his attention to Hangman Page, and right on cue, Page's music played and he walked out.

Page said Cabana would be the last one to get his head kicked in. He offered to defend the AEW World Championship "right here, right now," but Danielson accused Page of being cowardly by picking a fight after he already wrestled. Page still wanted a fight and offered Danielson the first shot. Danielson slapped him and they brawled. Page went for the Buckshot Lariat, but Danielson escaped up the ramp.

**********

A hype video aired for Ruby Soho vs. Kris Statlander.

AEW Rampage (11/26) lineup:

Eddie Kingston vs. Daniel Garcia
Britt Baker vs. Riho
Adam Cole & Bobby Fish vs. Orange Cassidy & Wheeler YUTA

AEW Dynamite (12/1) lineup:

TBS Championship Tournament: Ruby Soho vs. Kris Statlander

**********

Malakai Black, Andrade El Idolo, & FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler) (w/ Tully Blanchard) defeated Cody Rhodes & Death Triangle (PAC, Penta El Zero M & Rey Fénix) (w/ Arn Anderson)

This was an awesome main event. Just ridiculously fun.

Cody received a massively negative reaction, and he and Dax started off. He hit the drop-down right hand and then a powerslam before tossing his weight belt into the audience. The audience threw it back. PAC tagged in and he and Dax traded strikes. A back suplex allowed Dax to tag in Cash. PAC regained control and he set Penta up for the diving stomp to the posterior for two.

Penta landed a thrust kick but was flattened with a lariat before Andrade tagged in. Penta escaped to Fénix, who hit a flurry of offense. Death Triangle hit triple buzzsaw kicks and dropkicks on Andrade for two. Cody tagged himself in and was immediately overwhelmed by the heels, who got a big babyface reaction for their actions.

Fénix tagged back in and hit his springboard double cutter. He hit an escalera into a hurricanrana on Andrade and then a flurry of kicks on Black. Tully distracted Fénix, allowing Black to take him down with an STO ahead of the commercial. Once back, Fénix reached Penta for the hot tag, who came in with a diving crossbody. He hit a double DDT on FTR and a backstabber on Andrade for two.

PAC tagged in and landed a missile dropkick follwed by a Fosbury Flop onto the pile on the outside. Wheeler cut off PAC's flurry with a backbreaker, leading to a parade of big moves. Cody went for a thrust kick on Andrade, but Cody inadvertently kicked PAC. Everyone was down until Tully and Arn faced off in the ring. Classic Thanksgiving wrestling.

Andrade's associate José entered the ring, and Tully and Arn both struck him down. FTR cornered Arn, but Fénix took them out with a crossbody and Penta hit Sling Blades. Penta hit a tope con giro and Fénix landed a top-rope crossbody to the outside. Black blinded PAC with the mist and Andrade hit the hammerlock DDT for the win.

NAG posted:

IcePhoenix posted:

Dacap posted:

dsriggs posted:

Eat My Fuc posted:

Remember when the Acclaimed came out and rapped "Young Cucks you can't beat us you're laughable, Trump really won we gotta storm the capital". Disgusting.

Malcolm Excellent posted:

Hey everyone I made a meme

dsriggs posted:

bebaloorpabopalo posted:

if these trends continue...

fez_machine posted:

anakha posted:

I figured Punk's return to Chicago after All Out was gonna be a straightforward 'squash QT, soak up the cheers, have a good night everyone' segment.

I wasn't expecting nuclear fallout.

Jerusalem posted:

That main event was the perfect insane capper to a great loving night of wrassling and talking mad poo poo. Hell it's easy to forget the middle of the show where Britt uninvited Tony from the Christmas Party and 2.0 decided to go poke the bear that is Eddie Kingston trying to enjoy his cake.

Bard Maddox posted:

incredibly invested in the Dante Martin angle. what could it mean??

xbilkis posted:

My theory is, Dante Martin recognizes that Taz is a great coach, and the FTW lifestyle is the optimal approach to a pro wrestling career

MassRafTer posted:

I know three things that happened on Dynamite and the Dante Martin one was one of the things I saw and I can't say I saw that coming!

Gonz posted:

On today, Thanksgiving, I am thankful for Tony Khan being cool and making AEW a thing for us to watch.

AEW is good and fun and features professional wrestlers of high quality.

BrigadierSensible posted:

I like MJF. I really liked the thing he did where he took off his jacket and was getting ready to fight, and then rolled out of the ring. It was cool.

I also liked, (and I think he has done this before), when the crowd were chanting "Shut The gently caress Up" at him, he said "No."

He is a really good performer.

Rarity posted:

DANTE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

NO

NOOOOOOOOOOO

TheIncredulousHulk posted:

That was a fuckin great episode

If she can talk at all I feel like Hayter's gonna be an absolute star soon

Jonny Nox posted:

Shenanigans must be afoot

they must be.

Jonny Nox posted:

Shenanigans must be afoot

they must be.

Duke Pukem posted:

She absolutely can