How would you kill Hitler

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Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

People get hung up on the time machine part, but once that's sorted how would you do the deed?

Guys who stand up in cars probably also stand up in boats. I'd take him on a nice little rowing trip and WHOOPS! Make it look like an accident

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 08:41

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 16:20

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

AHH F/UGH posted:

I wouldn't

lazy bastard

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 08:47

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Wizard Master posted:

Edit: uneccesarily rude.

Dude, it's hitler

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 08:51

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Wall Balls posted:

i'd go to 1880s england and join the army, slowly working my way up the ranks, and when WW1 hits i'll have the authority to send thousands of young men to their graves in order to kill a single german dispatch runner

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 08:59

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Tarquinn posted:

I wouldn't.

I'd bribe the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts to accept him as a student instead.

What if his art was worse than the holocaust?

For reference: the holocaust was extremely bad

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 09:26

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

The Alchemist posted:

You kill Hitler with Hitler

If you clone hitler to kill hitler there's a risk they'll fall in love and make a baby that's 200% hitler

Then we're hosed

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 09:36

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Bad Purchase posted:

i would paint a realistic looking tunnel entrance on a brick wall and he would drive right into it

Excellent. No seatbelts for herr stands-in-cars

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 09:49

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Maybe the real question though should be would you actually go back in time and kill Hitler? Like it or not, probably your entire life would be completely different without Hitler causing WW2. Hell, your baby boomer parents might not have even been born if your grandparents didn't gently caress after WW2.

And the answer is get your rear end in the machine and kill hitler in the manner of your choosing

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 10:56

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

If you go back in time to make love to hitler you're off the christmas card list

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 11:29

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

How loving stupid were the Operation Valkyrie guys when they put the bomb under the table when everyone knows hitler only takes 50% ball damage

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 14:16

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Put chewing gum on the airholes of all his favorite bunkers

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 14:21

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Put chewing gum on the airholes of his favorite Junkers

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 14:24

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

push him into the mengele pit

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 14:38

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Make him eat Hermanng's Ö-ring

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 14:42

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Menorah in the library

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 16:57

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Mooey Cow posted:

If you have a time machine, just kill him with old age.

Or young age. De-age him into a sperm and hit it with a hammer

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 17:10

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

ChunTheUnavoidable posted:

I read a funny science fiction story a couple years ago about a time cop who was permanently stationed outside baby Hitler�s nursery to stop time travelers from killing him

Yeah they made a film about it starring van damme

Can't help but wonder if as a baby seeing all problems solved with karate influenced his later decisions

Icochet fucked around with this message at 17:27 on Nov 27, 2021

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 17:25

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Ski jump, dual wielding uzis, blasting away the entire nazi high command

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 17:47

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Name's Hitler. Todd Hitler.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 20:32

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Once upon a time a hitler needed to get across a poland. He asked if a stalin could help him. "No! You're going to attack me" said the stalin. "Don't be silly. If I attack you a war will break out and millions will die" replied the hitler. And off they went.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2021 16:42

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Give him a nice sandwich and after he ate it tell him it was a jewish sandwich and he'd have to performatively tear open his belly to get it out because his nazi buddies are in the room

# ¿ Nov 30, 2021 04:59

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

I once saw a documentary where hitler's housekeeper said hitler was gay because there were never any stains on his and braun's sheets. Cmon lady, guy had one ball

# ¿ Dec 1, 2021 14:25

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Give Princip an Interrail pass and have him slapstick around Europe, killing all the monarchs

# ¿ Dec 2, 2021 15:46

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

super sweet best pal posted:

Everyone wants to kill Hitler but no one wants to fix the socioeconomic problems that let him rise to power.

Killing Hitler is so so much faster. I have work in the morning.

# ¿ Dec 3, 2021 10:44

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 16:20

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

I would not jack off Hitler.

I would go back even further and jack off his dad on the night of Hitler's conception.

Hell yeah. If sex is your weapon, use indirect fire.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2021 13:41

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > How would you kill Hitler