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Pastel Candy Snake
Sep 6, 2018

hiss


A mummy with 0s and 1s painted in green ink over black bandages terrorizes the entire town. The monster, screaming "I AM CRYPT-O!", eventually gets caught by the gang before being unmasked as a clear caricature of Elon Musk, hellbent on capturing people and explaining "the blockchain" to them.

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sigher
Apr 22, 2008

Touch Fuzzy, get Spooky


I just poo'd myself a little reading such terror.

Would be dope to have a satirical Scooby-Doo tho.

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020



the vampire mortician who dresses up as a normal town person to commit crimes

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006



A Chicago PD officer tries to shoot Scooby but misses and wings Fred in the leg

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



A stupid piece of poo poo

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006



The villain is the ghost of great-grandpa Scooby, a dog who fought for the Confederacy in the civil war. The special guest star is Idris Elba.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Aha! Your tricks are through Mr. So called Mothman! You're just a bigfoot with a wingsuit!

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


Who What Now posted:

The villain is the ghost of great-grandpa Scooby, a dog who fought for the Confederacy in the civil war. The special guest star is Idris Elba.

This is ridiculous. Even a human's great grandfather wouldn't typically be old enough to have served in the Civil War. A 1970s dog's great grandfather would have maybe been around for WWII.

AcidCat
Feb 10, 2005



Wow OP, what an insightful commentary on current events. Presenting this via a Scooby Doo framework really makes your points pop. Thanks to you I now realize Elon Musk is the villain.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


I've never trusted Fred

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese, and a garden full of trees.



What do you mean "new" villains?

Aren't all Scooby Do villains Old Man Jenkins in a rubber suit trying to scare away people from his amusement park for ... reasons.

DreadUnknown
Nov 4, 2020


Oh no, the newer cartoon movies go some weird places.

whose tuggin
Nov 6, 2009

by Hand Knit


crypt-o is adding this terrible thread to his block chain as we speak

AcidCat
Feb 10, 2005



DreadUnknown posted:

Oh no, the newer cartoon movies go some weird places.

Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated (the premier version of this franchise) ends on such a complete mindfuck when you consider all the implications.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007



i hosed shaggy

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007



and shagged fucky

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD posted:

i hosed shaggy

He farted when u did it

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Like, I poo poo myself scoobs!

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


A person of size who hoovers up every Scooby Snack he sees

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


A person of means who is also a person of beans and is pretending to haunt the last independently-owned coffee shop as a ghost called Howie Halloween.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013



AcidCat posted:

Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated (the premier version of this franchise) ends on such a complete mindfuck when you consider all the implications.

You're going to need to let us know because it's not like the rest of us are rushing out to watch this masterpiece.

Holding back on the spoilers like it's inside information. lmao are you kidding with this poo poo?

BasicLich
Oct 22, 2020

A very smart little mouse!


schmorky

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



That show is up there with Avatar as poo poo that bored tf out of me but I felt compelled to watch an episode or two of because adults I knew went ape over it and kept recommending it. Turns out it's still just poo poo for kids and is insanely mind numbing to watch

BasicLich
Oct 22, 2020

A very smart little mouse!


the only people who actually liked scooby doo were perverts who liked watching a doughy midwestern tomboy crawl around on her knees looking for her glasses

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013



BasicLich posted:

the only people who actually liked scooby doo were perverts who liked watching a doughy midwestern tomboy crawl around on her knees looking for her glasses

Calm down.


But yeah it never made sense to me even as a kid.
Just a garbled plot and no real jokes

BasicLich
Oct 22, 2020

A very smart little mouse!


okay i was being hyperbolic, there was also a considerable inbuilt audience in big sandwich fans that had been underserved since the end of the heyday of Dagwood Bumstead

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Shaggy should have had Scooby-Doo put down for just like, stealing his food and eating it in front of him while Shaggy is right in the heighth of weed hunger, dude builds huge sandwiches and us ready to chow down snd that drat dog eats it. Are we supposed to laugh at that? loving piece of poo poo

BasicLich
Oct 22, 2020

A very smart little mouse!


counterpoint: Shaggy was the master at shuffling a stack of bread and cold cuts like a deck of cards and expertly dealing himself and his stoned dog a handsome meal

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Counterpoint: gently caress dat bitch

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Man I just remembered I watched this new Scooby-Doo doo movie while I was high as gently caress. It like starts off as an origin story of how shaggy and Scooby-Doo meet

BasicLich
Oct 22, 2020

A very smart little mouse!


Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Counterpoint: gently caress dat bitch

he did, where do you think scrappy doo came from

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013



I feel like eventually shaggy and Scooby would just tell the rest of those fucks they just aren't coming.
Like they're staying home to smoke and get take out and watch the Knicks game

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Shaggy pulls a knife on Fred and says "Like, suck my balls bitch"

BasicLich
Oct 22, 2020

A very smart little mouse!


Big Beef City posted:

I feel like eventually shaggy and Scooby would just tell the rest of those fucks they just aren't coming.
Like they're staying home to smoke and get take out and watch the Knicks game

they must be following the dead around

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013



Solve the mystery of deez nuts, man!

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Shaggy gets sick of it and just domes the ghost with a .45 as the gang screams in shock at the loud report of the gun blast within the resonating acoustics of the old Johnson's mansion on the haunted colonial era slave plantation

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Shaggy just starts capturing the villains and brutally torturing and executing them.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013



Scooby talks in his dorky voice but barks viciously whenever 'those' people are around.
The gang is mortified.
Shaggy doesn't notice.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Scooby mauls and kills scrappy then eats the dead body, they bury the half eaten heap of flesh and bone haphazardly because who gives a poo poo

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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013



Shaggy finally has enough and pulls Fred's mask off revealing him to be the real shaggy.
The real shaggy then pulls shaggys mask off revealing him to be Fred.
This leads to a Spiderman pointing at Spiderman style standoff.
Velma gets sick in the background.

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