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Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!


Here's all your presents kids! I hope you like sodoku!

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Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



I slam open the door n bust thru: https://youtu.be/qez8puUl1-4

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




Kids, I'm donating all your Christmas gift money to an Alabama hot dog vendor.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





God damnit when is whoville going to enforce their loving goddamn noise ordinance?

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




No son he's not someone in need he's just an incredible moron. It's the charitable thing to do

teardrop
Dec 20, 2004



Really? We’re ruining Christmas in November? I have had it with all this Christmas ruining starting like the day after Thanksgiving every year

sure okay
Apr 7, 2006





College Slice

*posts in ITT threads all day, ignoring all family*

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

*fills the chimney with armed bear traps*

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

What is green with wheels?
Grass.
I lied about the wheels.


I paid FIFTY DOLLARS for those socks and you don't like them?!?!?!?

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


“Happy Holidays!”

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus


i bought all these candles and cant buy you presents

nunsexmonkrock
Apr 13, 2008




I'm going to leave out organic, gluten free, sweetener free, non-gmo and vegan cookies and soy milk for santa.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Hey everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my new best friend: Donald Trump, Jr!

CPL593H
Oct 28, 2009

I know what you did last summer, and frankly I am displeased.

::Plays Kruxy's Christmas in America at ear splitting volume::

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Hey Santa are you vaccinated?

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

by sebmojo


has anyone said all the xmas money has gone to charities that have hilariously bad admin fees like the my pillow boys recount efforts

Cosmic Thing
Sep 24, 2019


nunsexmonkrock posted:

I'm going to leave out organic, gluten free, sweetener free, non-gmo and vegan cookies and soy milk for santa.

I spend the entire holiday talking about how soy is bad for you.

500 good dogs
Sep 11, 2001

 




they're gonna name a bunch of stars after you kids you should feel lucky

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

by sebmojo


bringing out the fake tree again with all the fake ormanmenets ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


We're gonna go with a star wars themed Christmas this year, kids. Got an 8 foot ATAT blowup pulling a sleigh for the front yard.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


Instead of gift giving were gonna make memories. Everyone including the inlaws are gonna stay in a cabin together for a few days. You'll cherish these moments later.

MaliciousBiz
Mar 27, 2010


I've made a donation in your name to the Kyanka/Mangosteen Memorial Fund.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


I brought my favorite holiday album, Kelly Clarkson singing all the Christmas classics. Got it on vinyl because it sounds so much warmer than digital. I know you guys don't have a record player so I brought one too.

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

Here's some room temperature egg nog.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


Thanks for entrusting me with bringing the wine. You all like Yellow Tail right?

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


I've decided that I'm no longer going to be held hostage by my lactose intolerance. To celebrate, I've been drinking egg nog all day long.

AcidCat
Feb 10, 2005



Bogus Adventure posted:

I've decided that I'm no longer going to be held hostage by my lactose intolerance. To celebrate, I've been drinking egg nog all day long.

gently caress yeah, bring on the nogg. I take a huge shot of Crown and chase it with Nogg every Christmas morning. Actually I do that a couple times.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




:jewish: Let's discuss the pagan origins of Christian holidays.
:ussr: And their co option by capitalist consumer culture!
:hist101: And Christmas time atrocities and war crimes https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Christmas_massacres

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


At 7 it's marginal right

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Clears out all the popular toys from Walmart only to turn around and sell them on Facebook & Ebay for twice the MSRP.

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010



I thought involuntarily randomly shooting blood and mucus out my rear end this week and needing morphine to deal with the pain of eating solid food would ruin Thanksgiving but I had my girlfriend take my place at the dinner table and save my sorry convulsing rear end. I still have plenty of time to be unwittingly infected again by improperly stored eggnog or some ahit

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013



Christmas Eve, eh?
Well I'll just sleep nude on the couch waiting for Santa.
I'm sure your family won't mind

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

I fart on the christmas tree! I piss

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004



Come on every body, we need to leave early for midnight Mass if we want to get a good seat!

BadFilmBestFilm
Jun 2, 2021


Nah you see, the $5 of Bitcoin I got everyone will be worth $5000 next year, I'll tell you all about it at dinner

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 9, 2009



*arrives for dinner three hours early* Hey guys how're you do-*coughs* ing? Yeah, the flight was hell, someone was positive for that omnibus covid thing so they took ages to get everyone deplaned. *clears throat* Oh this? Yeah, my allergies always go off when I'm in town. Heh, he-*cough, cough, cough*

*2 weeks later I'm dead after a flood of tots and pears explodes from my corpse*

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




Looks like the only presents Santa left were these five $60 kilos of kratom for me. You must have been on the naughty list, kids.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.




Grimey Drawer

We'll delay gift opening til after lunch. Once we're all properly a bit drunk, the kids are wound up and the arguments have started, it's loaded guns for everybody!

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013



Heh.
All of this CHRIST mas stuff we're doing?
Yeah. Most of it's actually PAGAN. I bet you didn't even KNOW that GRANDMA

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The Alchemist
Dec 12, 2010
Probation
Can't post for 5 days!


This year I wanted to do something good instead of being part of the minldless consumer culture that the holiday has become. Long story short, I got each of you your very own orphan to take care of! They are in the garage, check their eartags to find who's yours

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