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Parrotine
Dec 19, 2012

Wolverine with Parrots!


I'm gonna do my best to sum this up without a wall of words.

So a few years ago I found out I had Asperger's Syndrome, on top of my Overfocused ADD. This explains a hell of a lot in my life, but one of the main downsides is an issue with your brain processing new information, i.e. the part that makes you learn new stuff. So learning things in general has always been a huge struggle that I thought was considered normal, until I found out, oh no, it's actually way tougher than it should be. This resulted in me getting really burned out over trying to grasp concepts that most others figure out so much easier, and has made getting through school absolute hell on earth with any subject that I struggle with.

I used to do art. Got really, really burned out after throwing myself at the wall, trying to get some concepts to 'stick', only to make little to no progress at all over very long periods of time. Most people improve at a steady pace; I didn't see any type of results until Year 6. Around my mid 20's I was able to figure out the magic medication balancing act; got prescribed an anti-depressant to help relax that part of my brain from working so hard, paired that with my usual stimulant, and promptly had about six years of buried concepts sorta just crawled out the woodwork all at once. It was a little bit of a freaky thing to experience, not really sure how to put it into words. However, I didn't get this worked out until after I had pivoted from that career path to something more financially stable, so it was a case of coming through far too late for when I needed it, which is a pretty good summary of being an Aspie!

That job hunting experience took five years, I had to work multiple jobs doing interviews with no real help, it almost broke me. But finally, around two years ago, I made the jump into a working career with a stable position.

Lately i've been going through this big 'ol book on how my brain works, this one right here:



The more I go through it, the more I learn about the many pitfalls that come with this, but more importantly, how to overcome them.

I never got to finish my education, only got two years in before I had to stop. Now that I managed to finally get back on my own two feet without fear of being homeless, that mental performance anxiety that constantly tore my spirits down has gotten under better control, and I think I can try to bring it all together on my own. So I threw down for an iPad and decided to jump back into it.

I used this little $5 app I downloaded on my 3DS called Colors. It keeps things nice and simple, doesn't overwhelm me with an assload of layers, fancy brushes, etc, which would trigger my Aspie anxiety like nothing else.

Hard brush, soft brush, one texture brush, eraser, and that's it. You only get five layers max, a nice and easy program for my broken brain to wrap my head around.

Here's some of the stuff I painted with it:




















These ones were studies to help train my eye for color and value using a reference. I don't really count these as my art, they're more like technical drills, but I spent a lot of time working on them so I figured i'd put them somewhere instead of rotting away in a hard drive. I only worked them till I got enough of what I needed or just got bored:











Sometimes I like to color manga panels or animation frames, though it's been a while since i've done this. It's a good exercise to apply some of the concepts i've read about, see if I can build with my Mind's Eye, things like that. I might have done more but have no idea where they got frisbee'd to, maybe I can dig them up later in an old storage drive:








One of the main issues I have with my combo of Asperger's Syndrome & Overfocused ADD is that, for some reason or another, I simply cannot move past something I do not have confidence in knowing. That Aspie book I posted at the top goes over this a bit, gives strategies on how to overcome this mentality piece by piece, slowly work your way past that mental wall. Any time I try to build up via anatomy, I have to construct everything from the ground up, i'm sort of forced to take the long way every time instead of skipping to a finished product. One of the main drawbacks of doing this is your construction art gets very busy, too difficult to figure out which lines are for what, since you're stacking groups on top of one another. However, I was able to stumble upon a clever solution on how to get past this, maybe you might find it neat!





By using these cheap neon pens that glow under a blacklight, i'm able to set up my constructs on top of one another without burying the art, put on a finished line where the landmarks on the skin will show up, and get past that annoying mental performance anxiety wall. Now that i've been using this iPad I purchased recently I don't have a need to do this anymore, but it still looks nice so I might try doing this again in the future.

Finally, this is a personal project of mine. I think I was reading how I have a hard time coming up with a bevvy of ideas? I can only come up with a select few, so this is one idea i've been working on, adding and refining over the years as something i'd like to put into animation one day. Sort of as a personal goal, you know? I use this project to help trick myself into learning new concepts without overwhelming my brain and getting burned out, helps me cross over that performance anxiety barrier.

I have this character I made up:



He is a Djinn built out of graffiti and sound. There are nine of these djinns in total, each one is based on a famous character in literature; this one is my take on Dr. Jeckyl and Mr Hyde.

He goes around, jumping from city to city, collecting any graffiti pieces he finds interesting. In his world graffitti IS what sound looks like, and he constantly emits this colorful, neon smoke:



Whenever he runs his sound through his graffiti collection, he is able to leave behind a trail of graffiti behind his path, running through the air. I like to call these Streamlines!



and expand/contrast to the sound he is generating. He runs off of Drum and Bass music, so his streamline animations will sync with this.

This is what happens when he spikes his tags with a bass drop:



I'd like to animate that one day cause I think it would look cool, but it's going to take a lot of time to do it. I think I can make it work in a few years, so that all depends on how much progress I can make with my anatomy studies.

on top of that, for every deep bass drop he emits, his anatomy will, very briefly, glow through his entire outfit:



Lastly, the graffiti tags he picks up will change his outfits:




These are some scraps I might decide to finish at a later date; for now they are On The Bubble pieces:










And I guess that's about everything. Most days i'm doing more technical drills that aren't very post-worthy, but usually once every week or so I start taking that knowledge and applying it to old and new projects i'm working on. These are the three i'm working on ATM:





this one is really raw, started working on it the other day




Alright, i'm gonna close things off for now before I get too long winded.

I kind of just need a thread or a place to workshop the kinks out, to help me navigate past my Aspie nature. This is more of an art therapy thread for me, just a way to help me fight off my mental demons and help prove to myself that i'm capable of learning something that is very difficult for me. Usually I don't do art threads cause i've had some baaaaaaaaaaaaad experiences in the past on other sites with some reall asshat communities, but i'd like to give this whole art community thing another shot. Now that i've finally gotten a better reign on this disability, i'd like to see if I can finish my education on my own. I'm a very slow learner, I move at a glacial pace, but eventually i'll get to where i'd like to be. I've already come this far, i'd like to complete the journey on my own, teach me how to become more reliant on my own learning abilities.

Thank you for reading my long-winded summary!

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Fuschia tude
Dec 26, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019



Cool!

Parrotine
Dec 19, 2012

Wolverine with Parrots!


Hey neat, I found some other stuff I forgot about




There's this old cast drawing I did, it was sort of a pain to do



I'm trying to work on some more neon sketches but am having a hard time finding the right ones that glow well, seems they are tricky to get.

But I did make a holiday thing

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


BLO OD E M PR E SS

of

THUDNER-DOME






Hey, I really enjoy your use of color. As someone who struggles through brain issues to practice and grow my craft, this is really inspiring!

Parrotine
Dec 19, 2012

Wolverine with Parrots!


Hey thanks, I like using colors too, it helps me figure things out.

Not much to add, some more WIPs since it's been a busy work week



EDIT: Noooo I lost my favorite neon sketchbook :(

Parrotine fucked around with this message at 09:04 on Dec 12, 2021

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


BLO OD E M PR E SS

of

THUDNER-DOME






Parrotine posted:


EDIT: Noooo I lost my favorite neon sketchbook :(

Love those anatomical studies! What a cool way to do that

what happened to your notebook?!

Parrotine
Dec 19, 2012

Wolverine with Parrots!


Hooray, I was able to find it again! 🎉

Someone at the bar collected it the night before from the floor, there was some good stuff in there too so I'm glad it made it
















And then some more work on this thing

Parrotine fucked around with this message at 23:12 on Dec 20, 2021

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Parrotine
Dec 19, 2012

Wolverine with Parrots!


I just wanted to pop in and say that I finally made it to the 'Special Interests' chapter in my book! If there's anything about art or mental hangups, it's probably gonna be buried somewhere in here, so I'm pumped!

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