Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Interior: Jerry's apartment. Jerry and Elaine are there, Kramer enters.

Kramer: Guess who got a new cheap laptop?

Jerry: So, you're finally joining everyone on the information super highway?

Kramer: You got it, buddy!

Elaine: How did you get it so cheap?

Kramer: Police auction.

Elaine: Oh, I've heard of those, yeah you can get all sorts of stuff there.

Kramer: Yep! My friend Bob Sacamano once picked up one of those radars the state troopers use. Yeah, he tied it to a rope and threw it out his window. Did you know that thing goes 30 mph on its way down from the 30th floor?

Jerry: Astounding. Now that I know that, what more do I need in life?

(George enters)

Kramer: George, check this out, I got a laptop for dirt cheap from a police auction!

George: Oh nice! Wait a sec.... a police laptop?

Kramer: yep, you got it.

George: Did they wipe it first?

Kramer: Whaddaya mean? I don't know, I haven't turned it on yet.

Jerry: Ohhhhh no....

George: Kramer, this might have some illegal stuff on there.

Kramer: (looks slightly intrigued) Oh yeah?

George: Yeah, but it might not be...

Kramer: (Opens up laptop and boots it up) Ah, Linux...

Elaine: isn't that what pedophiles and hackers use?

Kramer: (reads from a sticky note, typing in password) "I.... N.... T... E... L... 1998... That was a good year. So, what's on here, let me s- AAAAAH! *falls off chair*

George: Oh my god....

Elaine: *gasp* Get OUT! *pushes Kramer further across the floor*

Jerry: Oh moses, smell the roses... You gotta get rid of that thing!

Kramer: (slams laptop) Jerry, I'm marked! I saw it, and now the police will know I've seen it!

George: What are you gonna do? Kramer, you can't use that anymore! You might be able to destroy it, but some people can go through trash and find it. You gotta get someone else on the hook for this.

Elaine: Well, who the hell would take a laptop with this... stuff.... on it and keep it to themselves?

Kramer: Wait... Yeah, I might know someone, giddy up.

(Cut to Newman's apartment, we hear a knock at the door. Newman gets up from his chair and goes to the door and opens it. He sees something and picks it up; it's Kramer's laptop.)

Newman: Ooooh, my lucky day! *squeal*