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Apr 29, 2024 02:39
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- Rarity
- Oct 21, 2010
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~*4 LIFE*~
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I hate you for speaking this evil into the world
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Dec 14, 2022 22:13
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- fez_machine
- Nov 27, 2004
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A wild late scorer for me
it's not over until it's over lads
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Dec 15, 2022 00:41
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- a cyborg mug
- Mar 8, 2010
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YEAR 2022 HAS CONCLUDED SOME TIME AGO. IT IS TIME TO SEE WHO WAS THE PREDICTIONS MASTER!!!!!
Let's start with the ONE SHOT, ONE KILL award recipients...
Of which there's only one! Our ONLY sniper prophet in 2022 is mooseinfants!
- AEW will have their first 2-time world champion
Incredible!
There were several one-prediction posters who missed the mark but only one made as enormous a mistake as forums poster ARMBAR A COP...
I'll toxx my account on this. There will be a Dynamite in 2022 with at least 3 women's matches.
I checked. There was exactly ONE Dynamite with more than one women's match on the card, Dynamite #123 on February 9. That Dynamite had two women's matches. I'm sorry friend, looks like you'll have to report to the toxx thread... 
Up next we have the winner of the A FOR EFFORT / VENOMOUS AWARD FOR VENOMOUS award, which goes to Venomous! Venomous was actually able to improve to 19% correct from last year's 14.8%!
eh, I was going to wait until I could go over my predictions from this year to do this, but gently caress it, let's go.
As always, I expect to get 99% of these predictions wrong. 2020 was 92%, 2021 was 85%, and I can't promise I'll do any worse this year, but again, gently caress it, let's go.
By this time next year, the following will be the champions and tournament winners of these major companies:
WWE:
WWE Champion: Omos
Universal Champion: Roman Reigns
Intercontinental Champion: WALTER
US Champion: Joe Gacy
Raw Tag Team Champions: Edge and uhhhh Sheamus
Smackdown Tag Team Champions: The New Day
Raw Women's Champion: Becky Lynch
Smackdown Women's Champion: Ronda Rousey
Women's Tag Team Champions: (deactivated lmao)
NXT Champion: Bron Breakker
NXT NA Champion: Someone who hasn't started with NXT yet who's name I can't even guess
NXT Tag Team Champions: uhhh the Creed Brothers
NXT Women's Champion: Lash Legend
NXT Women's Tag Team Champions: (deactivated lmao)
Cruiserweight Champion: (deactivated lmao)
NXT UK Champion: Is NXT UK really going to be around this time next year? Let's say uhhhh Kenny Williams, I like him a lot
NXT UK Tag Team Champions: Symbiosis
NXT UK Heritage Cup Champion: idk, Eddie Dennis?
NXT UK Women's Champion: Nina Samuels
(at least the Fed will have fewer titles this time next year than they do now. Still too many tho)
Royal Rumble winner: Brock Lesnar
Women's Royal Rumble winner: Bayley
Money In The Bank winner: Omos
Women's Money In The Bank winner: Becky Lynch
AEW:
AEW Champion: MJF
AEW TNT Champion: Danhausen
AEW TBS Champion: Jamie Hayter
FTW Champion: HOOK
AEW Women's Champion: Thunder Rosa
AEW Tag Team Champions: Santana and Ortiz
NJPW:
IWGP Heavyweight Champion: Kazuchika Okada
IWGP Intercontinental Champion: Tetsuya Naito
IWGP US Champion: Bryan Danielson
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion: Hiromu Takahashi
IWGP Tag Team Champions: Gallows and Anderson
IWGP KOPW Champion 2022: Toru Yano
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions: SHO and Dick Togo
NEVER Openweight Champion: The Great O-Khan
Strong Openweight Champion: JONAH
NEVER 6-Man Champions: I feel like they'd throw us an AEW-shaped curveball going into Wrestle Kingdom, so let's say Chris Jericho, Jake Hager, and Sammy Guevara
New Japan Cup winner: Jay White
Best of the Super Juniors winner: SHO
G1 Climax winner: Will Ospreay
(Will he hold it to the Tokyo Dome?: Yes)
KOPW Provisional Champion 4-Way Winner: Chase Owens
Young Lion Cup winner: Well, they didn't do one in 2021, but if they do one in 2022, it's probably Yuto Nakashima
Super J-Cup 2022 winner: Kidd Bandit
Super Junior Tag League winners: Ryusuke Taguchi and Master Wato
World Tag League winners: Dangerous Tekkers
AJPW:
Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion: Kento Miyahara
World Tag Team Champions: Jake Lee and Hokuto Omori
World Junior Heavyweight Champion: Jun Kasai
All Asia Tag Team Champions: isdgaf El Lindaman and T-Hawk
Gaora TV Champion: Masanobu Fuchi
AJPW TV 6-Man Tag Team Champions: *spins the wheel, again* Suwama, Akira, and Shigehiro Irie
Champion Carnival winner: Shotaro Ashino
Jr. Battle of Glory winner: Hikaru Sato
Jr. Tag Battle of Glory winner: Izanagi and Masashi Takeda
Royal Road Tournament winner: Kento Miyahara
World's Strongest Tag Determination League winners: isdfk, Shuji Ishikawa and Suwama
NOAH:
GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
GHC Junior Heavyweight Champion: Atsushi Kotoge
GHC National Champion: Go Shiozaki
GHC Tag Team Champions: Kazunari Murakami and Kazuyuki Fujita
GHC Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions: uhhhhh NOSAWA Rongai and Eita
Global Tag League winner: Masato Tanaka and Naomichi Marufuji
Global Junior Heavyweight Tag League winners: HAYATA and Yoshinari Ogawa, if it happens
Global Junior Heavyweight League winner: Hajime Ohara? To be perfectly honest I haven't been following NOAH's juniors at all this year and it shows lmao. Anyway they didn't have either Global Junior League in 2021 so idk if they'll do any in 2022 lmaooooooo
N1 Victory Winner: Kaito Kiyomiya
additionally:
-Vince will live through 2022, because Vince will never die
-There will be no fewer than 50 releases from WWE in the next year, of whom at least 3 are active upper midcard to main event wrestlers
-Kazuchika Okada will successfully defend the IWGP Heavyweight Championship against Kenny Omega at King Of Pro Wrestling, assuming Kenny's all healed up by then
-Blood & Guts will be the Inner Circle vs. the SuperKliq and reDRagon
-NJPW will probably regain much of the buzz it lost this year, not least because Okada is surely going to retire that stupid loving world championship and bring back the Heavyweight Championship and the Intercontinental Championship
However, with rising percentages from the champion, a claim of retiring after this year and impressively numerous predictions & horrible results by Tampa Bae last year, who could possibly tell who, if anyone, gets the Venomous award for 2023???
Up next: The return of the PESSIMIST'S DREAM award!
Several attempts were made this year but one stood out amongst them all. Forums poster Fluffy Bunnies did not score a full 0% as Hangman Page did in fact miss the rest of the year after being injured in a match with Jon Moxley. However, I think the rest of it sounded pretty loving bad and didn't come to pass...
AEW fucks up something so bad that we all have problems with supporting them for moral reasons
Vince dies and Triple H rises from the ashes, a reformed man, and guts the company of a whole lot of problems. WWE enters a new, darker period. Gimmicks are not good. A couple of checks bounce. NXT's performers save the company.
Regal dies in a horrific accident. Wrestlefans shook.
Randy Orton retires from WWE. Does some indie poo poo, doesn't find it fulfilling, actually leaves wrestling (probably for a few years until he gets the itch again)
Darby retires due to a terrible injury but he's fire as a commentator
A really stupid thing happens with Orange Cassidy like maybe he's interrogated or some dumbass poo poo so they can make endless "squeezed" puns.
Mox comes back as a sneering heel and legit breaks something so bad on Hangman that he ends up leaving again out of guilt to deal with that poo poo. Hangman is out for the rest of the year.
Omega is out until late summer/feeling August-ish. Dude needs to take some time off and chill out and watch anime or whatever the gently caress.
NJPW has to shut down due to endless loving covid eating their roster but honestly this could go for anybody right now 
That second line seems to ring some kind of bell but I'm sure nothing like that would ever happen 
We have a new special award to give out this year. Forums poster Rick has posted quite a thing and thus we are forced to ACKNOWLEDGE HIM
AEW
- PAC turns down a hefty contract but no one knows why.
WWE
- Wow that’s PACs music?
- PAC runs down with a money in the bank contract? The ref is cashing it in.
- PAC pins Big E and wins the title.
- PAC opens the briefcase.
- It is a notice of sale.
- Lights go out
- Voice of FANTASMIC and FANTASMIC pre show music comes on
- “Ladies and gentlemen we are pleased to announce that Disney has purchased World Wrestling Entertainment. But do not worry. We have kept Vince on and in charge. And here is his first decision of the new Disney era”
- PAC is now wearing Mickey Mouse ears. He is conducting to the music. The FANTASMIC music is blaring on full. Water is spraying everywhere all over the audience as a laser light show goes off.
- Raw continues on like this in perpetuity. There is still wrestling but it he mostly done behind giant towers of water and lights with PAC continuing to conduct.
- Ratings go through the roof.
- Vince is surprisingly named CEO of Disney.
- Goofy and the snowman from Frozen are fired
- Record profits
- Smackdown never acknowledges any of this and Roman Reigns continues as champion for another year and college football announces make even more awkward references to him than they do now. ACKNOWLEDGE HIM.
It's time for the main event: the awards for the best percentage correct and most impressively correct predictions...
Last year's champion A Fancy Hat defended their championship bravely and scored a mighty 50% this year. However, we have a new champion a third year in a row. The best percentage correct and thus the A WINNER IS YOU award was acquired by...
Maigius!!!!
There will be at least one match over 5 stars. correct, Meltzer rated a grand total of four matches with over 5 stars
AEW will have at least one 5 star match on TV. correct, there were two
The Rock will not appear live in WWE. correct
John Cena will be around for only one PPV to PPV cycle. incorrect, he made two appearances in WWE, despite only wrestling one match
At least two more former NXT men's/ NA champs will be released. correct, Samoa Joe and Karrion Kross at the very least, maybe more
There will be at least one "sexy" (bra and panties, bikini, mud, etc) or hidden man in drag women's match in WWE. incorrect, thankfully
Bret and/or Martha Hart presents the Owen Cup. correct, Martha did in fact appear to present the cups to the winners
Okada will win the IWGP title in the Tokyo Dome. correct
Roman will be champion at least until WrestleMania. correct, still champion
The men's Rumble winner will challenge for the Raw title, Roman faces a legend. incorrect as Lesnar didn't challenge himself, and incorrect as Lesnar probably can't be considered a legend as such quite yet?
The next WWE women's tag champs have not regularly teamed with each other. incorrect, the next champions were Sasha and Naomi who had apparently did teamed with each other regularly
At least one AEW or Impact women's match will be longer than the entire Queen's Crown tournament. I looked this up and there was definitely at least one women's match on Dynamite/Impact that was over 17 minutes, whereas the Queen's Crown tournament was under 17 minutes. I didn't make a note of what the match was though, sorry
That's 8/12 predictions or 67% correct! Congratulations to Maigius for taking home this highly prestigious award!
The second-best result at 56% was claimed by...
wait
it can't be!
IT IS
In an unprecedented move, forums posters Stall_19 and ChrisBTY have thrown a tantrum backstage! They are demanding that a tag team title be created or they'll walk out of the forums!
Fine! Both sitting at 56% correct, Stall_19 and ChrisBTY are our inaugural PREDICTION BUDDIES title holders!
~TV ratings will not fluctuate radically from the norm. incorrect, HHH taking the reins gave WWE a noticeable bump in the ratings. The trend is still down and both WWE and AEW have had some stinker ratings
~A disappointing number of prominent WWE superstars will re-sign with WWE. correct, for example Zayn, Owens, Braun, Regal and of course Cody
~AEW will get at most, one more big get from the fed, not counting Keith Lee if they get him. Saraya and Cesaro, so this was unfortunately incorrect
~Roman Reigns will not lose the WWE title (or whichever one he has I don't care) this year. correct
~Jungle Boy will win either the TNT title or Tag Titles. correct
~MJF will retain the Dynamite Diamond ring yet again. incorrect, it was Starks
~Jade Cargill will be the inaugural TBS champion. yep, and how!
~The Bunny and Penelope Ford will be involved in more televised segments and matches than the entire joshi roster combined. probably incorrect because 2022 was a big year for Shida and there were injuries
~Britt Baker will hold the AEW Women's title past Revolution. correct
By my count that's 5/9 correct so 56%
2022 will end without Japan allowing full crowds of cheering fans. I would say this is correct as NJPW wasn't able to get cheering back until this year's Wrestle Kingdom
Ratings for WWE will fall but will still be ahead of most AEW shows. despite some bumps here and there and SmackDown doing decent numbers, it seems to me the trend is still slightly down, and WWE is still ahead of AEW, so correct and correct
People get tired of Orange Cassidy. I don't think this is true
Roman Reigns ends 2022 still champion correct
Kairi Sane returns to Stardom correct, and people rejoiced
As covid is still around more smaller Japanese promotions fold incorrect, at least I don't think this really happened?
Sarray is released by wwe incorrect, she's still there
Nxt will be off of tv. incorrect
By my count that's also 5/9 correct so 56%! And if you disagree with me on any of these, please don't, because I'll only find a way to make it all work anyway!
And finally, previous A STAR MAN (most impressively correct) champion IceAgeComing vacated their title as they didn't take part this year, and because there were so god drat many predictions, I didn't bother to think about what would have been the most impressive predictions. Deal with it!
a cyborg mug fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Jan 15, 2023
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Jan 15, 2023 00:01
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- karmicknight
- Aug 21, 2011
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Tony Khan hates women. See ya real soon kids
See you on the other side.
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Jan 15, 2023 09:30
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- Adbot
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Apr 29, 2024 02:39
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Dec 11, 2022 00:19
