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How humiliated are the Buffalo Bills?
they are so shook that they spiral into a losing streak and miss the playoffs
they should dismantle the franchise, let the players sign to all different teams; NFL brings in a new franchise, maybe Mexico City
they should commit seppuku to spare their family their honor
their shame can never undone, their children’s children shall bear the sins of their fathers til the end of time
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Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

This is my shrine to The Greatest Game Ever Played.

I shall never forget where I was when I saw football transcend this mortal trap. Remember, remember the 6th of December – power runs, struggle, and strife, best day of my loving life.

Magicpants posted:

patriots gonna win this game running on 99% of the snaps just to show those stat nerds how dumb they are

Magicpants posted:

this game is a complete insult to the bills
BB just decided they were weak and get out-physicalled easy peasy, so hes just going to grind it down their throats all game

Magicpants posted:

bills are soft as fleece and maybe this game helps to demonstrate the fundamental value of poo poo like running the ball
play flashy and youll find a team that will hit you in the mouth

Magicpants posted:

the bills are physically incapable of stopping this now

Magicpants posted:

this is the most important game played in years

Magicpants posted:

this is loving incredible to watch
when has anyone in last 70 years of football just striaght up decided, no we can run all over you all game and you cant do poo poo about it, and then proceeded to do exactly that?

Magicpants posted:

tell me belichick isnt the best and most fun coach in sports

Magicpants posted:

bills are softer than a sunday morning sunrise, any strong physical team can beat the everliving poo poo out of them
bill belichick is loving hilarious genius and the only coach capable of pulling this poo poo off

Magicpants posted:

this is honestly the best game i can remember watching

Magicpants posted:

belichick 100% dominated this game start to finish, the bills were in it at no point

Magicpants posted:

the patriots just straight up imposed their will
just punched them in the nose and the bills were too weak to defend themselves

Magicpants posted:

thank you bill belichick for ending advanced stats once and for all
i dont wanna see any of that blasphemy posted about the run not mattering ever again

Magicpants posted:

no you idiot this poo poo was coming from a mile away for obvious football reasons. one reason: belichick.
other reasons: the bills LITERALLY were incapable of running and defending the run, they're soft as a babys bottom

Magicpants posted:

belichick didn't have to call a single pass to win this game, that's how much loving better our team is

Magicpants posted:

We just got to witness the kind of humilation and domination that you usually need to sign off on a waiver to recieve, the most one sided domination probably in the history of professional sports.
This motherfucker just pulled off a gameplan that was 100% runs in a division matchup to win the AFC as a joke.

<----------

tldr – Your New England Patriots ran the ball 46 times intentionally to be funny and won handily. Every single consciousness seeing the game realized by the last 3 quarters the Patriots were running the ball every snap and the Bills could do zilch (zero, nada, and so on) except either stand back and applaud or trip on their own dick trying to cower in fear.

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Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

gently caress every person in the world that doesn’t adore this game. May they root for the Jets.

Judon having such a hard time keeping a straight face. BB is pro at it by now, the subtle lip bites, the forced frowns, very advanced stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNyf2H-2kNU#t=15s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by9gVSDykMg

Kull the Conqueror
Apr 8, 2006



Haven't watched the Pats like at all this year. Is their O-Line just turbostacked?

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World


Kull the Conqueror posted:

Haven't watched the Pats like at all this year. Is their O-Line just turbostacked?

Not really, though it improved a lot with Trent Brown back from injury. When he was out it legitimately ate poo poo for a while there.

K8.0
Feb 26, 2004

Her Majesty's 56th Regiment of Foot

They started the year like rear end but it's a good run blocking OL. Not the best OL in the league but there's definitely talent there.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 9, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.


Kull the Conqueror posted:

Haven't watched the Pats like at all this year. Is their O-Line just turbostacked?

No not really. Which makes this even more degrading.

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

:siren: THREAD RULES :siren:

Please only post glowing reviews of how fantastic this game was or how good the pats are, or posts about the nature of football strategy and how it all starts with pounding the rock

Please save your abstract surrealist posts about how only throwing the ball count em 1, 2, 3, three (3!) times invalidates the win for every other thread

Forrest on Fire
Nov 23, 2012



Why can't every game be like that? Are new football players "Too Good" to play football like Army and Navy (The Right Way)?

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

Kull the Conqueror posted:

Haven't watched the Pats like at all this year. Is their O-Line just turbostacked?

Hello friend! Are you interested to know more about Bill Belichick’s Big Beefy Boys? Our o-line has been consistently one of the very best over Belichick’s tenure (and not coincidentally overlapping with Dante Scarnecchia, who would be in the HOF if there were a HOF for assistant coaches). The line struggled early in the year while adjusting to injuries and while Mac was still figuring out his protections, but it’s clearly a top 5 unit, where it should have been in the preseason. And I mean after tonight, they have to take the crown right?

You got trusty stalwarts in David Andrews and Shaq Mason, Isaiah Wynn also about as good, plus “Steady Teddy” Karras is a better backup than some teams have at starter; all guys who don’t win awards but you are happy to start. Trent Brown and Mike Onwenu are the big boys. Big Maulers. That’s their new nickname I decided. Big Maulers. Better watch out for The Big Maulers, else you get Big Mauled like the lil bitch buffalo bills. And don’t forget about Jakob Johnson, the bruising German fullback who actually managed to win a roster spot via an international players exchange program, I think the only NFL starter for which that is true.

It’s as simple as this: our guys are bigger and stronger than you. While other teams out here practicing all this fancy finesse fluff, our boys are practicing how to run into you really really hard. Bills were competely unprepared to play physically. The Patriots are the most rawdog hardnose physical team in the league, as they have been the entirety of Belichick's tenure.

Mystic Stylez
Dec 18, 2009



no we have the Ravens/Titans offense at home

the Ravens/Titans offense at home:

Magicpants posted:

It’s as simple as this: our guys are bigger and stronger than you. While other teams out here practicing all this fancy finesse fluff, our boys are practicing how to run into you really really hard. Bills were competely unprepared to play physically. The Patriots are the most rawdog hardnose physical team in the league, as they have been the entirety of Belichick's tenure.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

Game was awesome, but gently caress the Patriots forever, voted 2.

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

this was a POWER run game in every sense of the word

honestly, bills shouldnt feel too bad, apparently the bottom bitch is actually the most important and valuable whore which is why they get beat most viciously

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001




I didn't realize Bill told them he was gonna do it

https://twitter.com/WillBrinson/status/1468099653765939204

Forrest on Fire
Nov 23, 2012



Kalli posted:

I didn't realize Bill told them he was gonna do it

https://twitter.com/WillBrinson/status/1468099653765939204

Aaand that's how this thread earns :five:

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

pffhaw! patriots arent even a good team how come they throw 3 passes in game lol losers lmfao trash the long national nightmare is over
who cares they won the division and the AFC by completely disgracing our entire team top to bottom

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

I mean it's like people want Belichick to do this same loving thing again next time and I for one am all for it

e: only stupid ignorant people think this is just typical homer hubris. i couldnt give a poo poo if the patriots dont win another game, this was the best and most convincing win ever won

Belichick was TOYING with them, like a cat with a dying rat

Magicpants fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Dec 7, 2021

Symphoric
Apr 20, 2005




https://twitter.com/MikeReiss/status/1468183075729428491

AndrewP
Apr 21, 2010



I have to admit I enjoyed that spectacle

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001




Will always remember that game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjjjYelkaBg

Tim Whatley
Mar 28, 2010



Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

this is what a man who is in a complete daze, emotionally broken, trying to look smart and put on a brave face in front of the media looks like
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tS_i9hvaYRA
https://buffalonews.com/multimedia/...a71a8de302.html

I had nothing against the bills before this game, I actually kinda half-cheered for them and the dolphins most of the time. but they were just em-BARE-rear end-ed

the bills are so soft, they lost to the wind

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002


Dude is ready to cry any second.

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

everybody wants to be the pats but nobody wants to be the pats

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

We all just saw a unicorn on live television.

Bill Belichick trapped it, killed it, skinned it, and is now wearing it around as a hat.

The world’s reaction? “Eh, Buffalo is still the better team.”

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

Here’s what happened on Monday, December 6, 2021 at 8:20 p.m. EST. The Patriots owned the league, and everyone was owned so hard they all went nope we didn’t get owned that hard, never happened.

But I remember. I remember. And I will never forget.

e: Everyone in the league scratching their heads and wondering why the Patriots have been so successful for so long. Well, here was a huge loving prime reason with glowing neon lights for you to see if you want to see it. Or you know, cheating.

It's almost a shame that Belichick was the one to do it because no one will give the Pats credit for pulling this off. I almost wish it happened to another team so everyone on this forum could appreciate this game as much as I do.

Magicpants fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Dec 7, 2021

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

46 runs, 3 passes

THAT IS
~REEDICKYOULUS~

the most ridiculuous thing to ever intentionally happen in a professional sporting game, I understand the incredulity I hardly believe it myself

absurd

obscene

Magicpants fucked around with this message at 21:52 on Dec 7, 2021

AndrewP
Apr 21, 2010



this is an all-time :patssay: bender and I respect it

AJA
Mar 28, 2015


AndrewP posted:

this is an all-time :patssay: bender and I respect it

For you, this was the most important day of your life. But for Magicpants, it was Tuesday.

hughesta
Jun 12, 2012

i know its super duper kooper
cool like up the bitches snitches


I like this thread and agree that that poo poo was awesome

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE


Kalli posted:

I didn't realize Bill told them he was gonna do it

https://twitter.com/WillBrinson/status/1468099653765939204

Goddamn it.

Bill B is the poo poo. If only we had him with Allen we would be set.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002


What's the most Navy has ever thrown the ball?

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001




This season they ran the ball 642 times and passed 91

Last year 483 / 124
2019: 773 / 104
2018: 732 / 129

Picking a random game against Memphis in 2018, they ran the ball 73 times for 264 yards and were 4/6 passing for 52 yards.

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

AndrewP posted:

this is an all-time bender and I respect it

ftfy, :patssay: would imply that I’m talking out my rear end, when in fact I am 93.88% correct about everything I said. TFF just takes it as a personal slight that the Patriots are good. fuuuuuck aaallllll yaaallllll. Patriots against the NFL. Magicpants against the Funhouse. New England against the World.

Me after 20yrs of addiction to Patriots football: Belichick the best coach, clearly that’s not even up for debate. Obviously, right? Honest question, is there a soul on Earth who disagrees?
TFF: :patssay: :jerkbag: yeah right, actually the cardinals are pretty good this year according to a stat that was just invented. better fall in line with this random twitter opinion since it has a graph to go with it
Me after the craziest win I’ve ever seen: wowoooowoowowoooo! heck yes! lets go!
TFF: no you can’t enjoy the things you like the way you want to, you must enjoy it how we want you to, which is to not enjoy it at all and instead self-flagellate

Y’all are the people responsible for the NFL taunting penalties. I can’t believe people got upset by me doing victory laps because no one has the balls to trash talk. Instead, it’s all oh no you guys deserve to win this game, not us, please I want to lose, really. Have some self respect you dead gay forum. Mods please rename forum to the The Football Clownhouse because it’s home to way more clowns then fun. I had no idea the entire Bills staff and roster was registered on TFF. But seriously TFF, I think you legitimately have a real shot of playing football for the Bills because y’all just as soft.

People dismissing this game for being too run heavy while out the other side of their mouth, whispering about firing the best coach the Bills have had in the BB era, 45-31 in his career, after a single 3 pt loss to his toughest opponent. Why?!? Because everyone knows in their heart of hearts this was a beatdown on a cosmic scale, exposing all the worst parts of McDermott, the kind of which is drat near impossible to recover from. Don’t you guys always talk about the value of a great o-line? Well, here you go, this is one of the major advantages that gives you. This is what happens when you control the LOS and your line is just that much better than your opponent’s. You should be celebrating this game!

No, TFF’s ideal game is where everything is decided beforehand by popular vote and managed impartially by robots who understand the game at a level far superior to mere mortals. TFF has no interest in thrills, spills, or even chills.

I say it’s okay for Pats fans to feel differently about their team than Jets fans, and I posit there could potentially be a real loving obvious reason why that kind of self-degrading mentality works well when you’re a Jets fan but doesn’t apply to the Patriots. I mean, how damning is it that this forum actually has to have a :patsay: smilie? :smugpat:

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012



I'm trying to find the lie but I can't

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

My brain for the past two days has been stuck in this 5 second loop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6mll8rgDSI&t=7s
I have lost hundreds of dollars the last couple days just in mics that I have dropped on the ground. Dude loving love the pats dude, never understand the pats fans who are still upset with Belichick for not winning every game after all this time. It's the loving NE Patriots, of course they're good.

This game was just a ripoff of the plot from What About Bob? And I am happy to be the Bill Murray to TFF’s Richard Dreyfous. It’s ok, we’ll trick you into having fun one day.

Bills got shitcanned. Curbstomped. “roflstomp’d” in the kid’s lingo. They were fundamentally incapable of accomplishing a primary basic aspect of their job, and their competition annihilated them for it.

Let me try to put this in terms that TFF might understand. This is what happens in e-sports when one player forgets to turn their controller on. This is what happens in a mtg game when the deck playing all the best counterspells meets the bargain bin creature deck who sideboarded in a couple cards that make creatures uncounterable. This is what happen in a chess game when the smarmiest protege to read their first chess book tries a fried liver attack against a hustler in Central Park. It would be sort of like if all those ugly chud politicians decided that, out of solidarity with their constituency, they weren’t going to legally register their candidacy or whatever happens in an election, and then dems won every single seat in congress by default. Or like if a cop didn’t collect any evidence and just accused somebody on a hunch, and their attorney pointed that out to the judge (well y’know assuming the judge isn’t on the take :911:). This is like one of them upstart tech companies landing their first multi-million dollar investment but then the IRS forces them to declare bankruptcy for improper filing of taxes. This is like if a new store opened up right across the street to compete with some old mom and pop, but forgot to turn on their open sign. This was a lot like when the Dolphins destroyed the Ravens by zero blitzing on every 3rd down and the Ravens kept calling screens to get tackled for a loss, except the Dolphins could only do that on defense on 3rd down, whereas what the Patriots did was on every single snap offensively and defensively.

Actually, you know what this like? This is like a professional football team not incorporating any run concepts in either their offense or defense and Bill Belichick making GBS threads all over them for being so stupid and frail.

Kirios
Jan 25, 2010



Weren't you the lost season guy

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

post history me slut, im the only pats fan on tff

im the type of psychopath that knows how to pronounce our fullback's name

e: if the tone of my posts before were more modest, it was only to spare this forum's feelings. now i witnessed a miracle, a sign of revelations, and i will sing to the heavens

Magicpants fucked around with this message at 17:38 on Dec 8, 2021

is pepsi ok
Oct 23, 2002



i was saying boo-elichick

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

Man, Belichick looks so loving dumb on this forum right now. Y’all, tell him what football is really all about…
It’s passes, right? That’s the only legal part of football? And they better all be deep shots too, none of that dink dunk poo poo.
Running the ball is so boring, all these games are so boring, ugghh why am I even watching this?

If you can’t appreciate this, I feel bad you, go find your happy place, look at baseball stats

Nonbelievers don’t get to go to Heaven (--> Super Bowl)

For all my true believers, here is a cut up of highlights from the game:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8Rh6KuuH6w

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Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster

OLD TAKES EXPOSED

Magicpants posted:

Bills picked the wrong time to meet us. If Bills keep playing the way they have, our defense will have people saying that Josh Allen reverted back to 2018. Allen throws 2 picks, Pats win and reclaim their rightful spot atop the AFC.

Magicpants posted:

disregard the omens at your own peril

Magicpants posted:

belichick and brady are star crossed lovers, fated to die in each others arms in the super bowl

Magicpants posted:

the pats are the protagonist of the nfl. the bills are everyones favorite quirky side character until they get the spinoff that ruins the character for everyone

Magicpants posted:

Belichick COTY
Brady MVP
Pats and Bucs respective #1 seeds and champions of AFC/NFC

Magicpants posted:

the jets completely mindfucked josh allen by letting him complete all those passes to diggs, and now allen has relapsed into forcing throws where he has no business

Magicpants posted:

tom brady and bill belichick are just gonna have to keep winning super bowls until people start showing em some respect

Magicpants posted:

bill belichick, offensive genius

lol last month people were complaining about how belichick was never even a good coach to begin with, and how all these defensive HCs should be fired so you can hire another Shanahan or Stefanski to install their scheme

Magicpants posted:

bill belichick and tom brady are the only people in the nfl good at their jobs

Magicpants posted:

people think this guy isn't the funniest man in football

Magicpants posted:

everyone in the league is insanely jealous about mac jones
oh now we get to the juicy stuff…

Magicpants posted:

for a 2-4 team, pats arent all that bad. our biggest issue is mac is a rookie: hes played fine but the coaches dont trust him enough to open up the playbook yet and maybe hes not ready for it. so weve been playing competent hyperconservative football where 3 of our losses were super tight games we were in the whole time, we just dont have the firepower to overcome dumb mistakes and finish the game when we need it. the pats are built to grind out a slow game with a lead, i dont think this team has a successful 2 minute drill in them.
meyers is the new edelman. onwenu is already the best pats draft pick of last 5+ years. but beyond that, the offense is, um. henry and bourne have had a couple big plays. agholor and jonnu havent earned their contracts yet but theres still time. oline has disappointed but in theory theres enough talent and the same line played well adapting through multiple injuries last year. rhamondre might be good if he ever figures out pass pro.
basically i think this is a team trying to fit a 5yr rebuild into 1. were not gonna do much before hitting on a few drafts. we mightve been able to skirt by on the barest offense possible with a defense playing lights out. but the defense is rebuilding as much as the offense. mccourty gilmore hightower kvn collins all headlined that dominant unit 2 yrs ago, and now they all look like theyre playing their last football. i think belichick expected those guys to be the core for one more year, and that mightve changed the season if it worked. truth is the new defensive core is jc jackson, dugger, uche, judon, hopefully barmore. and we still need time to draft the replacements for the old guard if were going to have a defense that can make this whole ground and pound thing work.
I have to admit, I’m embarrassed. I’m such an idiot, I shoulda known that everything was going to correct itself, that in fact you can fit a 5 year rebuild in a single season (which disproves math again) and Mac was going to end up having one of the best rookie seasons next to Herbert. Happy to be wrong.

e: oh, there's more

Magicpants posted:

i prophesy that the fins will suck

and the jets and bills will suck

and the pats will reign supreme over all!

this i have foretold

Magicpants fucked around with this message at 00:43 on Dec 9, 2021

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