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isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992





Do you like donkeys? Do you hate Nazis? Have you ever had a relationship with a crazy stripper? Have you ever played in a terrible band?

If you answered 'yes' to any of those, this book may be for you! If you didn't, give it a try anyway!

I'm not a writer by any stretch of the imagination, but I do have some good true-ish tales to tell. Spanning a decade of work in the security industry, Times Like These is a collection of five stories I've told many times to family and friends. Now they can be yours to read while on the toilet for the low, low cost of $20.00!

Enjoy "pure GBS from 2004, in a good way", or as another goon said, "The best book I've read in 2020."

The stories are freely available here on SA, but I've edited and cleaned them up a bit. The prose remains clunky and the story art is still terrible, but that's part of the charm, right?!

I had a fun time putting the book together and I learned a lot about the self-publishing business, and I hope you enjoy reading it. It's Good Dumb Fun!

So help make a longtime goon happy and buy your copy today!

I gave a shout-out to SA in the preface, so all you beauifully broken people are responsible for this by association.

--Special thanks to Darth Brooks for the cover art!--

Links to the original stories-

The Time I Spent Punching Nazis

The Time I Rode A Donkey Named Hector Through A Mall

The Time I Crippled A Scientologist Stripper

The Time I Thwarted A Drug Robbery

The Time I Was Cursed By A Witch To Battle A Monster

isaboo fucked around with this message at 22:13 on Dec 7, 2021

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isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


The price is higher than I wanted but printing costs and Amazon's take are pretty steep. It's 220 pages, full color, 7"x10". I wasn't expecting much but I'm honestly impressed with the look and feel of the print quality.

Here, have some pictures.





mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long



Oh my loving god you did it

You beautiful bastard

Edit: SHIP'S TO CANADA :gizz:https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B09MYVWJRK/
Edit2: IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS :gizz::gizz::gizz:

mom and dad fight a lot fucked around with this message at 22:08 on Dec 7, 2021

Vakal
May 11, 2008


Just out of curiosity, did you pre-buy a whack books or just using a print on demand service?

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


mom and dad fight a lot posted:

Oh my loving god you did it

You beautiful bastard

Edit: SHIP'S TO CANADA :gizz:https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B09MYVWJRK/
Edit2: IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS :gizz::gizz::gizz:

This is partly YOUR FAULT, you know :v:


Vakal posted:

Just out of curiosity, did you pre-buy a whack books or just using a print on demand service?

It is print on demand through Amazon's Kindle Desktop Publishing. I didn't expect to have my proof copy until Dec 12, but there's a printing facility only about 2 hours away from me so I got it maybe 36 hours after it was approved. I'm honestly impressed. The whole Amazon process was easy as pie.

Doing the layout and design was the hard part, but fortunately I have a close friend who does it for a living and he guided me through it all. The self-publishing thread in the Creative Convention forum was also a great resource.

isaboo fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Dec 7, 2021

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long



isaboo posted:

This is partly YOUR FAULT, you know :v:

New GBS needs to get their poo poo together, I'm tellin' ya :corsair:

Product looks great. Told my ex-wife to get me it for Christmas or I'm not paying child support. kidding, but looking forward to reading it to my kid!

EVERY TIME GOING
Mar 17, 2006

cant stop wont stop


I <3 Viper should be an emote.

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


EVERY TIME GOING posted:

I <3 Viper should be an emote.

I dunno, too much use of it might summon her...

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006



Congratulations on self-publishing!

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020



finally I can retire the book of the subgenius as my toilet reader

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


I want to mention - for those of you that have read the stories - the Battle Cat guys have no idea I did this. I've sent a copy to each of them, and I'll post their reactions after they've all finished reading it.

Also here's the shout-out to SA in the Preface. You're welcome, Jeffrey!!

ExecuDork
Feb 25, 2007

We might be fucked, sir.

Fallen Rib

mom and dad fight a lot posted:

Oh my loving god you did it

You beautiful bastard

Edit: SHIP'S TO CANADA :gizz:https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B09MYVWJRK/
Edit2: IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS :gizz::gizz::gizz:

My Amazon Prime (Australia) account shows it available here, too, as Prime International (gotta hit the $49 threshold for free shipping, I dunno I'll find something) with delivery 23 December - 4 January. So maybe in time for Christmas but probably not.

Still, Imma get this for me, xmas doesn't matter.

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long



isaboo posted:

I want to mention - for those of you that have read the stories - the Battle Cat guys have no idea I did this. I've sent a copy to each of them, and I'll post their reactions after they've all finished reading it.

:magical: they're gonna be stoked

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


They'll be something, for sure. I'll find out soon!

I hope they're OK with it, because I've already started writing about our wildest adventure of them all - a heist story - and I've enlisted the help of a goon creative partner to collaborate with me on some really unique artwork. It's gonna take a while, but I think it will be cool.

isaboo fucked around with this message at 01:19 on Dec 8, 2021

blight rhino
Feb 11, 2014

EXQUISITE LURKER RHINO


I read them all on here, but I enjoyed them greatly.

Bought one, to support a fellow goon. Best wishes!

shine on you crazy diamond

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020



next book needs a hole punched through the cover and a chain. like this

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012



This is awesome. Love your stories. :blastu:

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.


isaboo posted:

--Special thanks to Darth Brooks for the cover art!--

You're welcome!

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005






Who What Now posted:

Congratulations on self-publishing!

hell yeah op nice work.

The Voice of Labor posted:

finally I can retire the book of the subgenius as my toilet reader

can i have this if you're done with it?

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


this is awesome, i love your stories, ill be buying a copy after the holidays are through with my bank account!

u
Oct 21, 2000
Socialist shemale linux fag

Classic 100% true GBS stories from the last 20 years

Isaboo carries a machete in his hello kitty backpack

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


Ha! Good to see you, old friend.

I've all but retired my machetes, but I still have my trusty Hello Kitty backpack

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


LOL, drat. There are more typos in the final printed version than I thought. Missing spaces here and there, one too many spaces, out of place commas, etc.

They're much easier to spot when you're holding it in your hand!

So buyer beware, I guess! :v:

I'll correct those things. But realize this - if you've already bought it, you'll have a super rare collector's edition

RepeatingMeme
Dec 27, 2012

Have u seen thos pig balls tho







The typos will just mean its a collectors edition, gonna resell it in 20 and retire off dat

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long



Come hit this raw uncut Heisenberg blue maaaaan :drugnerd:

Pragmatica
Apr 1, 2003

what.


congrats on your publication, op

thanks for sharing with us

blight rhino
Feb 11, 2014

EXQUISITE LURKER RHINO


i may need to ship mine to you at some point for a signature, and then 50 years from now (i'l be dead), so 20 years from now, I can sell it and buy all the weed

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


hold your horses, bucko. I will be buying all the weed once I surpass JK Rowling's sales. Right now I'm at healthy 14 copies shipped... now I'm just waiting for the :goon: and I'll be sittin' pretty

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008


Nap Ghost

isaboo posted:

hold your horses, bucko. I will be buying all the weed once I surpass JK Rowling's sales. Right now I'm at healthy 14 copies shipped... now I'm just waiting for the :goon: and I'll be sittin' pretty

I'm prolly gonna buy it. But there ain't no goon rush

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


lol I know, I'm not expecting anything. I'm already happy for selling a dozen! it was a fun project, and that's all I really wanted in our current wacko timeline

mkvltra
Nov 1, 2020



I bought a copy after reading the Viper thread. Insanely good poo poo. Have you started your next book about Executive Bodyguarding yet?

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


Thanks for buying it!

There's a short bodyguarding story in the book, the one about being cursed by a witch. there are couple other stories from that time I could do too

The one I'm working on now is about the time some bounty hunters and I pulled of a heist. and then things got nutty. it's going to take a while though

AHH F/UGH
May 25, 2002



that's cool but i'm waiting for Swamp Booger Baby's self-published memoir

Roundup Ready
Mar 10, 2004

ACCIDENTAL SHIT POSTER


Bought a copy for my lady who kept asking why I was laughing while I read them on my phone. Wish you the best beets! Also why isn't this stickied yet?

Roundup Ready
Mar 10, 2004

ACCIDENTAL SHIT POSTER


My copy is showing up tomorrow! Looking forward to reliving the stories and sharing them with less internet poisoned people in the future.

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


Awesome! Thanks for buying it!

I hope to get it converted to epub over the weekend for folks who have requested that

Mtthnsly
Jan 19, 2009

Let's all get fucked up and make fun of internet weirdos! Including ourselves.

Tortured By Flan

I had my parents get me a copy as my Christmas present this year. I had only read the Hector the donkey story so I waited until I actually got the book to read the rest of the stories. They were all awesome!!! I just finished it this morning. My dad is going to read it next, so thanks for taking the time to put it all together!!

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

BATTLE CAT
Punching Nazis Since 1992


Ha! That's great! Thank you so much for buying and reading it. I hope your Dad likes it.

Merry Christmas!

ExecuDork
Feb 25, 2007

We might be fucked, sir.

Fallen Rib

I bought a copy for myself, but Amazon refunded me because the courier (dunno which they used) returned it. I've put it on my wishlist and I'll try again in a bit. This isn't the first time something from Amazon Prime International has been returned by the courier before it ever made it to Australia. I've never had a problem with a national post office (in either Canada or Australia) but I've had plenty of trouble with private courier companies. UPS is the worst by a long shot (I've pretty much never had a UPS delivery go well at all) but Fedex and DHL have both been stupidly incompetent for me at least a couple of times.

Oh well, like I said I'll try again soon and I'm really looking forward to reading all of the stories on dead-tree format.

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Warden
Jan 16, 2020


How's the ebook version coming up? I'd like to toss some cash your way, but shipping to where I live would cost almost as much as the book itself.

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