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Aardvark!
May 17, 1993




Frankly I think it's bullshit that Ted Allen, host of Food Network's hit cooking competition program, Chopped, does not get to eat the food along side the judges.

According to the records, there are 635 + 39 specials (list of episodes) of Chopped. In a standard episode of Chopped, you have 4 + 3 + 2 = 9 dishes. That means that Ted Allen has been deprived 6066 plates of food to date!!!!



Look at that handsome Devil. Give the man a plate.

In conclusion,

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Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

Ask me about my obsessions! I will let you know in every thread I enter.


Food Network sucks now because instead of TV shows about people cooking delicious food it's all bullshit drama shows like Chopped where the main focus is a bunch of old people making GBS threads on food made by young adults.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





ted allen knows eating food is a moral failing

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Gape Farten

zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos


Have you seen what they make on Chopped? If Ted Allen wanted raw bullshit he could get it any time he wanted. Ted Allen earned his right to not eat through his continuing host prowess.

Karma Tornado
Dec 21, 2007

The worst kind of tornado.



Ted only eats the plates the judges refuse to because a line cook whose sick mother burned down bled into them while dicing up a basket ingredient

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

I just wonder what the First Lady's boobs are up to!


Sadly their dishwasher broke years ago so they make Ted lick the plates clean before he leaves for the day.

a cat irl
Feb 13, 2010


it always sounds like he says “are kitchen” to me

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009



Fun Shoe

misread Ted Allen as Tim Allen and thought "good, fucker can starve." maybe everyone else on the show made the same mistake? someone should point it out to them, maybe they'd give him a taste if they realized he wasn't Tim Allen.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


It's funny because Padma gets to eat all the food and tell the contestants what she thinks on Top Chef.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Ted Allen is only allowed to eat the "Chopped" dish OP.

Aardvark!
May 17, 1993




SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Ted Allen is only allowed to eat the "Chopped" dish OP.

lol

thats double owned since that's the one that's been sitting around getting photographed for hours. I bet they also let him eat out of the trash cans next to the cooking stations

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Aardvark! posted:

lol

thats double owned since that's the one that's been sitting around getting photographed for hours. I bet they also let him eat out of the trash cans next to the cooking stations

They don't "let" him they just don't stop him.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask.


he wasn't around for the Queer Eye reunion because he was too fancy dancy now to meet the poors and that's sad

Aardvark!
May 17, 1993




Seth Pecksniff posted:

he wasn't around for the Queer Eye reunion because he was too fancy dancy now to meet the poors and that's sad

I think the average chef on chopped is probably poorer than people on queer eye lol

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003

It's okay to watch child porn if you don't touch your dick, just raises awareness man.



Vakal
May 11, 2008


Aardvark! posted:

I think the average chef on chopped is probably poorer than people on queer eye lol

The contestant interviews on what they will do with the prize money always falls into two categories.

A) I will use this $10,000 to start my own restaurant!

B) Winning Chopped will prove to my family that I didn't waste my life and will make them love me again.


Both are sad for their own reasons.

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.







He doesn’t want to eat the contestants’ blood.

zaepg
Dec 25, 2008



Ted Allen, chef from Chopped, I am begging you. Please, eat the dishes. Eat all the dishes up.

I will give the man from Chopped $20 if he lets me film him eating the dishes. I want to film him eating the dishes and put it on YouTube so we can all watch it.

Ted Allen, the dishes are free. I will give you two dozen plates. Free of charge, Ted Allen. I just want to film it. I just want to watch you eat a bunch of food. Please.

I'm completely serious, Ted. I will cook the dishes however you want. Just want to fill your belly. Do you want those more expensive dishes? Eat as much as you can! I will drive down and film you eating. Please. A lot of other people want to see it too. I will film you in HD and put it on YouTube and everyone can enjoy your Food Fun.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask.


zaepg posted:

Ted Allen, chef from Chopped, I am begging you. Please, eat the dishes. Eat all the dishes up.

I will give the man from Chopped $20 if he lets me film him eating the dishes. I want to film him eating the dishes and put it on YouTube so we can all watch it.

Ted Allen, the dishes are free. I will give you two dozen plates. Free of charge, Ted Allen. I just want to film it. I just want to watch you eat a bunch of food. Please.

I'm completely serious, Ted. I will cook the dishes however you want. Just want to fill your belly. Do you want those more expensive dishes? Eat as much as you can! I will drive down and film you eating. Please. A lot of other people want to see it too. I will film you in HD and put it on YouTube and everyone can enjoy your Food Fun.

Eat all of the dishes at once

Aardvark!
May 17, 1993




zaepg posted:

Ted Allen, chef from Chopped, I am begging you. Please, eat the dishes. Eat all the dishes up.

I will give the man from Chopped $20 if he lets me film him eating the dishes. I want to film him eating the dishes and put it on YouTube so we can all watch it.

Ted Allen, the dishes are free. I will give you two dozen plates. Free of charge, Ted Allen. I just want to film it. I just want to watch you eat a bunch of food. Please.

I'm completely serious, Ted. I will cook the dishes however you want. Just want to fill your belly. Do you want those more expensive dishes? Eat as much as you can! I will drive down and film you eating. Please. A lot of other people want to see it too. I will film you in HD and put it on YouTube and everyone can enjoy your Food Fun.

That's all I'm asking for here, really.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



He fills up on cummies before the show. :gizz:

ClamdestineBoyster fucked around with this message at 22:31 on Dec 8, 2021

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


Another Bill
Sep 27, 2018

I wish I had a son to kick me in the nuts.






Snitch.

Gatto Grigio
Feb 9, 2020



Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.



CHOPPED!

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

Ask me about my obsessions! I will let you know in every thread I enter.



And in exchange for Disney keeping him out of prison, he had to agree to become their indentured servant.

I'd rather take my chances with the druglord.

Bags Fly at Noon
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







Yaldabaoth posted:

Food Network sucks now because instead of TV shows about people cooking delicious food it's all bullshit drama shows like Chopped where the main focus is a bunch of old people making GBS threads on food made by young adults.

That’s every channel that used to be good now

Hairy Right Hook
Sep 9, 2001

Hee to the ho


zedprime posted:

Have you seen what they make on Chopped? If Ted Allen wanted raw bullshit he could get it any time he wanted. Ted Allen earned his right to not eat through his continuing host prowess.

Yeah, you're seriously going to give Ted Allen some ground up gummy bear & graham cracker curry?

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




The food is always cold by the time the judges have at it

He's lucky he doesn't have to eat that slop imo

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

by sebmojo


Maybe Ted just doesnt eat have we ever seen him eat

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

he always was more interested in tools

bwuhhhhhh?

Aardvark!
May 17, 1993




Derpies posted:

Maybe Ted just doesnt eat have we ever seen him eat

maybe he has his own cooking station that he makes his own food at because he is so superior he refuses to dine on the filth presented on the show

Aardvark!
May 17, 1993




im going to watch an episode of chopped now and i hope its a good one

Bags Fly at Noon
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







I wouldn’t eat that poo poo either

Aardvark!
May 17, 1993




chefs:

1) the private chef of the UK's ambassador to the Us. The young Buck. He's Hungry for it all
2) Spicy Chilean Lady With A Heart Of Gold THat Learned It All From Her Grandma. her theme music is, as i said, SPICY!!!
3) third guy is a chef at a yoga retreat. his music is twangy country guitar. BOOM! folksy guy right here
4) white guy from san diego that runs a FANCY TACO PLACE!!! "Fine dining on a taco" "I didn't come to chopped to LOSE" weird mexicanish music theme


whom will win???????

Aardvark!
May 17, 1993




let's go!!!! what would you make with this basket? As an appetizer

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

Your Best Paw Forward

Ham Wrangler

I can watch chopped for hours. I don't even know why i like it. They have to have used just about any ingredient known to man at this point.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

They aren’t allowed to film Alex Guarnaschelli from behind or below the waist because her donk is too much for tv

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Aardvark!
May 17, 1993




Wow they had two buck chuck as a dessert ingredient and did a "wine tasting" bit with the judges where ted allen spat out the wine and exclaimed that he wouldn't drink that swill. Then revealed he meant the $50 wine and he preferred the two buck chuck :eyepop: based Ted

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