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Dream Weaver
Jan 23, 2007
Sweat Baby, sweat baby
They're hard up for people. Army needs it bad. I remember the air force equivalent was like five referrals for an air force achievement medal.

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spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014


Can we get a link please?

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.
What if I refer people I donít like?

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



FrozenVent posted:

What if I refer people I donít like?

Well yea, you donít tell friends to join the army.

LtCol J. Krusinski
May 7, 2013

by Fluffdaddy

spacetoaster posted:

Can we get a link please?

Got it straight from the PR Guard social media.

MightyJoe36
Dec 29, 2013

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
I saw this on Reddit and thought it was a joke.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



MightyJoe36 posted:

I saw this on Reddit and thought it was a joke.

Itís the army, things can be both a complete joke and serious at the same time :v:

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Got it straight from the PR Guard social media.

lol, that's great.

This is how stupid the Army is right now about strength. I have still not retired. They keep retaining me, the morons. I am finally at my MRD. I have a buddy who has had his MRD extended.

The only reason I am still in is that I am getting constant TDY to very nice countries with large government contracts that need to be officially checked on occasionally (about 15 minutes of actual work over dinner in the evenings).

lol

Whipped Buttcheeks
Jul 25, 2007
Chairborne Ranger

spacetoaster posted:

lol, that's great.

This is how stupid the Army is right now about strength. I have still not retired. They keep retaining me, the morons. I am finally at my MRD. I have a buddy who has had his MRD extended.

The only reason I am still in is that I am getting constant TDY to very nice countries with large government contracts that need to be officially checked on occasionally (about 15 minutes of actual work over dinner in the evenings).

lol

How many of us are left around here?

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003

College Slice
If they want to retain people, maybe not make being in a depressing cluster gently caress of suffering? Having some poo poo head 1SG angry at 5 AM that there is trash from last night's dinner, and nothing else at all, in my trash can is just a level of "gently caress this, gently caress you" that is going to cause the problems.

Of course there's a retention issue, after the first enlistment you're either out or you hate being in.

Retrowave Joe
Jul 20, 2001

Iím still in, but only because Iím a Miltech. As soon as I get another job Iím hitting the IRR for awhile. Iíll probably come back to finish my 20 but gently caress Iím so over everything

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



My dad is retired, and I got to go see him last week. The dawning horror on his face when I told him the kinds of dumb poo poo that routinely happened and nobody ever gave a gently caress about was definitely something.

I guess heís been out for too long to remember, but I told him about the west pointers from my brigade that thought hazing and professional development were one and the same, and particularly the one that added enough racism to that poo poo-pile to drive a soldier to suicide.

Danny Chen :smith:

The true horror was when I told him that the NCOs got like 2 weeks in jail, and the LT involved got an admin discharge instead of a bad conduct from the resulting court martial. This is also around the time that someone tried to set one of my soldiers up to get murdered for testifying against those NCOS, so good times all around!

when someone is cleared to medevac and has their flight scheduled, itís completely fine and normal to try and put them on a helicopter back to their former FOB first with nothing more than winter PTs, right? No camo, no armor, no weapon, no NODs, literally just the clothes on his back. Completely normal.

e: my back is hurting today from an army injury, some dipshit thought rucksack running was a good PT move. I didnít sign up to crush one spinal disc and damage another in loving training in 2009.

Icon Of Sin fucked around with this message at 17:45 on Feb 8, 2023

Mustang
Jun 18, 2006

“We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”
When I was in ABOLC we had personal trainers from Auburn University developing our PT plans, including dynamic warm ups and cool down routines. It was the only time in the Army where people weren't constantly destroying their bodies doing dumb poo poo, and the only time where people in the Army had a minimal amount of input on what we did for exercise. It was also the only time where I felt like Army PT didn't negatively impact me when I went to the gym to lift weights.

Pretty sure I heard the Army eventually sent those personal trainers back to Auburn though. Doubt the Army will ever be able to claw PT out of the hands of psychotic NCO's with no knowledge of how the human body works.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost
The most recent brigade I was in had a team of civilian personal trainers. Pretty good, but also a small number of them for a whole brigade, and while soldiers did ďokayĒ on the rest of the ACFT, the run performance from people who joined immediately pre or during pandemic was pretty bad, even compared to old field grades and senior NCOs.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

mlmp08 posted:

old field grades

I'm taking the whole 21 minutes. gently caress ya'll.

Itchy_Grundle
Feb 22, 2003

Icon Of Sin posted:



e: my back is hurting today from an army injury, some dipshit thought rucksack running was a good PT move. I didnít sign up to crush one spinal disc and damage another in loving training in 2009.

Yup, running with rucks. With boots. On pavement... My left knee still acts up.

On the other hand we got to spend 45 minutes every week or so shouting something about C-130s.

Bell_
Sep 3, 2006

Tiny Baltimore
A billion light years away
A goon's posting the same thing
But he's already turned to dust
And the shitpost we read
Is a billion light-years old
A ghost just like the rest of us
Moral panic over poppy seeds hitting my inbox. I'm no UPL, and I don't know whether they changed their methods to detect things or lowered the threshold.

Do I spend my remaining time recommending lemon poppyseed muffins for motor pool bake sales?

Vasudus
May 30, 2003

Bell_ posted:

Moral panic over poppy seeds hitting my inbox. I'm no UPL, and I don't know whether they changed their methods to detect things or lowered the threshold.

Do I spend my remaining time recommending lemon poppyseed muffins for motor pool bake sales?

You can thank Army Resilience Directorate for that. They've consistently refused to accept the number of expensive studies conducted in the last few years that "the army loving sucks, man" and are now convinced that it's BIG POPPY.

source: I was a coordinating body on those expensive studies and also saw the memo floating around for GO/FO chop.

LtCol J. Krusinski
May 7, 2013

by Fluffdaddy
Öcan you explain this to me in a way that someone whoís 5 beers deep on a Friday night could get?

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Öcan you explain this to me in a way that someone whoís 5 beers deep on a Friday night could get?

Army got told "drug tests failures are increasing because being in the army sucks so more guys are doing drugs to cope."

Big Army said "nah, it must be poppy seeds."

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

Vasudus posted:

You can thank Army Resilience Directorate for that. They've consistently refused to accept the number of expensive studies conducted in the last few years that "the army loving sucks, man" and are now convinced that it's BIG POPPY.

source: I was a coordinating body on those expensive studies and also saw the memo floating around for GO/FO chop.

They did at least get rid of Sustainable Readiness, right? I vaguely remember that going away just as I was getting out.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost
Speaking of, the DOD released a report on ways to address suicide.

Some of it is fine, if it can be done well. i.e.: Promote people who are good and not people who are vindictive psychopaths. Or don't "up or out" every MOS/position if they're fine, but don't want to promote. Others, eh....

https://www.defense.gov/News/Releas...rc-releases-re/

E: If you put sustainable in the title of something, it isn't

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
Back when I was at the guard bureau I worked on some of the stuff that went into the IRC. I find it funny that they didn't mention Purple Resolve in their report, probably because it's an entirely state-funded initiative. I worked with the STARRS study too. My focus however was on the guard, not the active force, which are more of a Venn diagram and not a perfect circle with identical problems and solutions.

quote:

DoD suicide prevention efforts are hampered by stove-piping and limited collaboration across
DoD offices and Services, resulting in duplicative efforts and programmatic silos that have
impaired the ability to develop a holistic approach to suicide prevention and response. For
example, numerous assessment tools and surveys with overlapping content and focus are used by
the Army to assess unit climate, psychological health, and organizational risk factors: DEOCS,
Behavioral Health Pulse, Unit Risk Inventory, Army Readiness Assessment Program, Azimuth
Check, and Soldier Risk Assessment. Because each tool is managed by a different office and was
developed to meet a specific need that could not be achieved through effective cross-organization
collaboration and data sharing, military personnel and leaders perceive they are constantly being
surveyed. Collaboration and data sharing with researchers and entities outside the DoD is even
more difficult, hamstringing DoD efforts to quickly develop innovative strategies. Restricting
collaboration and the flow of information and ideas from all sources stifles the very innovation the
DoD desires to effectively prevent and respond to suicide and creates needlessly redundant work,
increases cost and time, increases stress and degrades well-being for military personnel.

Oh look something I wrote is actually in there. Well, most of it. They took some of the venom out. We'll call that one 80% mine.

edit: this report is exactly why I'm no longer in suicide prevention and resiliency and now exclusively work on medical readiness / plans. My office at the guard bureau spent the better part of a year and some change working on contributing components and actions outlined in this report and it seems that, to the surprise of nobody, they were either deliberately excluded or significantly watered down. loving lol.

Vasudus fucked around with this message at 06:04 on Feb 25, 2023

Mustang
Jun 18, 2006

“We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”
Just hunt the good stuff, hooah! Army strong!

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


Mustang posted:

Just hunt the good stuff, hooah! Army strong!

I hate that so loving much. Thanks.

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003

College Slice
Here's a wild thought, maybe limit the level of suck to the job itself and not pile on top of it shithead SNCOs pissed at their years old barracks marriage taking it out on everyone else for 16 hours a day.

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

Remember when some dude on r/Army proposed a new logo that actually looked kinda good?



Well the Army listened and in classic Army style completely missed the loving point

https://www.army.mil/article/264594/new_army_brand_redefines_be_all_you_can_be_for_a_new_generation

MightyJoe36
Dec 29, 2013

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Back to the 40s with the uniforms and back to the 80s with the slogan. Can't wait to see what's next.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



MightyJoe36 posted:

Back to the 40s with the uniforms and back to the 80s with the slogan. Can't wait to see what's next.

Possibly Fun, Travel, Adventure? :getin:

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

MightyJoe36 posted:

Back to the 40s with the uniforms and back to the 80s with the slogan. Can't wait to see what's next.

Well, the SIG SPEAR/"XM5" is going to end up a modern M14 saga.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

Be all that you can be is back baby!

Missed recruiting/retention by 25%, lol.

Ht/Wt/ACFT/USMJ standards on indefinite hold.

Retrowave Joe
Jul 20, 2001

Loden Taylor posted:

Remember when some dude on r/Army proposed a new logo that actually looked kinda good?



Well the Army listened and in classic Army style completely missed the loving point

https://www.army.mil/article/264594/new_army_brand_redefines_be_all_you_can_be_for_a_new_generation



I read in another thread there that the Army is halfway through a 10-year contract with whatever branding company came up with that powerpoint star abortion. Hopefully after itís over they can go with that dudeís. Whatís funny is itís being used on at least one login page that Iíve seen so far, so maybe some 6-shopper took some initiative

MightyJoe36
Dec 29, 2013

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
So glad I'm retired and that my son is out.
:mcnally:

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost

spacetoaster posted:

Be all that you can be is back baby!

Missed recruiting/retention by 25%, lol.

Nope. Missed recruitment by 25%, made retention at 105% of mission. Those in are staying at high numbers. Those who were never in donít want in.

And people are still getting booted for UCMJ, etc.

mlmp08 fucked around with this message at 23:15 on Mar 18, 2023

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

mlmp08 posted:

Nope. Missed recruitment by 25%, made retention at 105% of mission. Those in are staying at high numbers. Those who were never in donít want in.


That 105% number is probably misleading.

And the other stuff I said was a joke. Kinda. Let's see what stupidity the Army can come up with to get people in.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost

spacetoaster posted:

That 105% number is probably misleading.

How so?

Since 2017, the army has been exceeding retention. Specific jobs struggle, but overall, it's been hovering around 100-105% for the last 5 years or so. Making 75% recruitment and 105% retention is still a net miss in goals.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

mlmp08 posted:

How so?

Since 2017, the army has been exceeding retention. Specific jobs struggle, but overall, it's been hovering around 100-105% for the last 5 years or so. Making 75% recruitment and 105% retention is still a net miss in goals.

I said probably. I'm an HR puke who looks at these numbers all day.

I do not know the breakdown of the 105% in that article, but I know there's a lot of MOS's that we just can't get people for. And have had major vacancies for years. Also, I'm not sure it takes into account the guard guys who get used for a lot of poo poo these days.

Dream Weaver
Jan 23, 2007
Sweat Baby, sweat baby

spacetoaster posted:

I said probably. I'm an HR puke who looks at these numbers all day.

I do not know the breakdown of the 105% in that article, but I know there's a lot of MOS's that we just can't get people for. And have had major vacancies for years. Also, I'm not sure it takes into account the guard guys who get used for a lot of poo poo these days.

I still to this day have never seen a fuel and water warrant officer and we had 3 slots in my first company for those.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

Dream Weaver posted:

I still to this day have never seen a fuel and water warrant officer and we had 3 slots in my first company for those.

I'm about to start abducting people in an unmarked van to get some IG's.

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Retrowave Joe
Jul 20, 2001

Fellas, I regret to inform you that inflation has hit the three dollar pillow. It is now 3.50 and feels half as good. You may as well use a rolled up towel.

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