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crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

Hello friends. Yes, the BBC has spent some of your licence fee scrilla making another series of The Apprentice. They have - during a global pandemic - made a series of what was already a very clapped out show. We can only imagine how bad it's going to be. A couple of things we do know: every week some very egotistical people will make big wallies of themselves and an old man with a crinkly face will read out quite a lot of very bad jokes. In this thread, I will post a summary of each episode of this series after it airs. I'll watch it so you don't have to! These summaries are likely to be quite low-effort, because this is not a show that deserves any more than that.

First, let's refresh ourselves with a bit of background.

In the beginning, The Apprentice was a novel concept for a show. The candidates were mostly competent people with experience in a range of industries and they approached the tasks they were set methodically and the outcomes were something along the lines of what you would have expected from people with specialised industry experience. The boardrooms were for the most part professional affairs and people generally admitted to mistakes they had made on tasks.

That lasted one series.

In series 2, as satirised in this sketch, the BBC replaced competent business people with egotistical morons. Tasks were approached without any apparent planning or forethought; not merely an absence of business skills, but a complete dearth of any kind of thinking whatsoever. One quite infamous example was a team in a food selling task buying 100 whole raw chickens for 100 planned pizzas. The boardroom became a sort of Jeremy-Kyle-with-suits affair, with people just shouting personal abuse at each other and trying their best to win over Sugar, by telling him how they were so much like him.

That set the pattern for the series that followed. The editing of the show focused more and more on capturing confict and setting up the contestants to make mistakes. At times it felt that all that was missing was a slide-whistle noise.

The show was a much bigger deal in the early series: Saira Khan and James Max went on to have successful media careers and the winner, Tim Campbell, now has an MBE and is on the show this series as one of Sugarís assistants. Somewhat less impressively, the winner of series 2, Michelle Dewberry, nowadays makes frequent appearances on Question Time and the like as a Sensible Centrist and Ruth Badger, the runner up of that series, did a show on Sky One called Badger or Bust.

As successive series have trundled along, the candidates have become for the most part very forgettable, which is doubtless a good thing for their careers. The last two people who really stood out, in my opinion, were Stuart Baggs (RIP), who took behaving like an arsehole on the show to a whole new level, and from the same series Stella English, who took legal action against Sugar for giving her a bullshit non-job having won the last series of the show where a salaried job was on offer. You do have to wonder how on earth she expected anything else.

A major change to the show came in 2011 when the prize was changed from a job to an investment. The show had been running for six series already and it was pretty much public knowledge Ė to all but Stella English Ė that the job that was offered was bullshit. The new prize changed the dynamic of the show significantly. The show with the investment as a prize is a 10-odd week charade where the candidatesí performance in the tasks is largely irrelevant, because Sugar just picks off the people whose business ideas he isnít keen on. Sugar nowadays makes no effort to pretend to have any interest in proceedings and instead just reads out a list of jokes he's prepared earlier and makes snide comments about Piers Morgan.

In spite of all this, there are in fact still people who are willing to be filmed making complete arses of themselves for national television, rendering themselves for a period thereafter largely unemployable and the subject of shouted abuse and ridicule from strangers in the street, and no doubt on social media as well. All that for a shot at getting a 250 grand investment and having Sugar as 50% owner of your business.

Also, there are still people who watch the show. Why? Well I can only speak for myself. I actually didn't watch the last series, but I've returned partly out of morbid curiosity to see how on earth they filmed this thing during a pandemic, and I suppose also in the hope of seeing a bit of the farcical spectacle that used to make the show fun. One thing I have enjoyed in more recent years is how the prizes for winning the tasks have become so bad that losing the task is surely preferable. In recent years this has included watching a film in a park in the rain and literally getting beaten with birches as some kind of alterative massage therapy. In the first couple of series they were sent on weekends away to Rome and that.

I suppose itís also still interesting to see how people cope with being put into such a bizarre and contrived situation. Itís also quite funny to see the interactions between the show and real life, whether itís a real business person promised 200 croissants of a morning and having 5 delivered, or some lucky passerby an hour from a taskís deadline getting a whole crate of something that was sold for a tenner a piece at the start of the day for a quid.

So, onwards. Next I'll do a bit about who's on the show this year.

crispix fucked around with this message at 10:54 on Jan 9, 2022

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crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

So these are the people on the show this year. The full profiles are here. Some of what follows will be based on the impression I've gleaned from the first episode, although some people seem to fade into the background.



From Chorley (Coming in Your Ears). He's been in the RAF for a dozen years. Previously was a milkman, a horseman (I don't know either) and a butcher (hopefully not related to horseman).

Business plan: wants to start a security firm.

Prediction: being in the forces always seems to go down well with Sugar. He seems level headed and quite genuine. He's also handsome and charismatic. I can definitely see him in the final.




Lives in London. "Strategy Manager for a financial firm". Claims to be good at numbers.

Business plan: Unknown

Prediction: comes across as a professional arse-coverer. Will inevitably make a fudge of the figures, having said they're his thing. Likely to go early.




Lives in London. Owns a digital marketing agency, which could really mean a lot of things. Claims to be able to speak seven languages. Says his mates call him AK47 because he's a killer salesman. Does the comical boasting about himself thing that we were all sick of 15 years ago.

The AK47 is renowned for its inaccuracy - watch out for Sugar bringing that up to make a joke about missing targets.

Business plan: "digital marketing"

Prediction: Winds everyone up something rotten. Unlikely to last long. Can see him going in the first half of the series, unless Sugar really fancies whatever kind of digital marketing he's up to.




From Hertford. Owns a commercial cleaning company.

Business plan: His cleaning company.

Prediction: Seems a nice bloke with a level head. Can see him going far but Sugar has never gone for any of the previous people with cleaning companies (correct me if I'm wrong).




Lives in London. Has a North American accent.

Business plan: Beauty something.

Prediction: Actually seems nice and conducts herself professionally. She is therefore unlikely to last long. There is also a chance she could walk imo.




Lives in Bristol and works as a manager in a hotel.

Business plan: Alcoholic protein drink.

Prediction: Won't make it to the final because, come on, alcoholic protein drink. It's possible she'd get some interest from the little tortoise man on Dragons' Den but Sugar likes to play safe.




Lives in London. From Ireland. Used to play rugby professionally but now wears glasses and does sales instead.

Business plan: "a fleet of quirky food and beverage vendors targeted at music and sports events"

Prediction: His business plan is likely to be vastly over-ambitious and in an industry he has no experience of. I can see him getting fired for either making a balls of a food-related episode as PM or not taking on the PM role in such an episode. Seems likeable enough but I just cannot be doing with scrawny looking rugby players :mad:




From Surrey. Mathematics graduate. Double barrel name and "from a long line of successful entrepreneurs" :rolleye:

Business plan: "providing a product carbon footprint service for businesses"

Prediction: Full of herself and doesn't like to listen to others, so equipped to go quite far in the process.




From the West Midlands. Works as a Regional Operations Manager.

Business plan: bath bombs

Prediction: Says his inspiration is the kindness of his grandparents and that he wants to help and support others. He's doomed.




From West Yorkshire. This year's coffee shop owner.

Business plan: cakes

Prediction: Keeps banging on about how she's not here to make friends. Likely to get herself into trouble early on imo. Wonder how her customers feel about that attitude...




From Swindon. Owns an online pyjama store. Previously a mortgage advisor and events manager.

Business plan: jammies, online

Prediction: Very forceful person and has a lot of the kind of experience that will take her far on this show. Sugar also loves a business with a tangible product. Very likely a finalist imo.




Lives in London. Qualified pharmacist. This year's flamboyant guy.

Business plan: pharmacy business

Prediction: Seems a bit too vocal and honest to survive long imo. Depends on how interested Sugar is in pharmacy.




Lives in London. Qualified accountant. Always looks shocked.

Business plan: flavoured water

Prediction: Will be gone early. Too nice to survive and 250 grand isn't going to do much for a bottled water brand.




Lives in Cheltenham. Owns a "boutique cocktail bar". Has "witch school qualifications" :witch: (i don't know)

Business plan: wants to renovate her cocktail bar

Prediction: Hard to say. Faded into the background in the first episode. Given she's on the show and didn't get a bank loan, her bar is unlikely to appeal to Sugar.




Lives in Bradford and owns a nursery. Mother of five.

Business plan: early years nursery

Prediction: Comes across as genuine and very nice. Sadly unlikely to last long.




Lives in Kent. From East London. Owns an online children's store.

Business plan: designer childrenswear

Prediction: Likely finalist imo. The business will appeal and she comes across as a right arsehole.

So those are the contestants on cheesy gameshow The Apprentice. These are the people who do the other bit:



It's Tim Campbell! First winner of the show way back in 2005! Tim appears to have kept himself busy and accomplished a lot. He's an MBE now don'tchewknow and has a beard and everything.

Sugar said Claude was not available for filming due to being involved in a nasty accident. No further details were given so most of the viewing public will assume it was something embarrassing.

Honestly, I think Tim is just too nice for the role. Claude was nice too but he could turn on bastard mode quicker than you could say multifunctional. We'll see how he gets on though.



Appears to have a bet on with someone to see how many corny jokes he can cram into a single episode. Was still trying to flog his ridiculous email phones in something like 2011. Miserable old git who spends his days slabbering at people on Twitter.



Arsehole.




crispix fucked around with this message at 11:12 on Jan 9, 2022

stev
Jan 22, 2013

Please be excited.





Holy moly that's more words than anyone should ever write about this show. :golfclap:

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

yeah it took longer than i'd planned :laugh:

eating only apples
Dec 12, 2009

Shall we dance?


Alcoholic protein drinks!! Wicked.

I'm all in for this series and I hope the break will have done it good. At least I don't feel so burnt out on it this time round. Sugar's joke writers really got me this week with the AK-47 being fired quickly gag, that tickled me.

EdBlackadder
Apr 8, 2009


Lipstick Apathy

eating only apples posted:

Alcoholic protein drinks!!

This is literally a joke from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I might have to watch this series.

deletebeepbeepbeep
Nov 11, 2008


Tim Cambell is a poor replacement for Claude.

Tiny Rebel have recently released a Protein Shake IPA as a jokey way of having fun at the new year exercise fad. They also came out with a berocca spoof multivitamin IPA. Alcoholic protein/vitamin shakes are obviously an awful idea unless it is for a gimmick.

Gaz2k21
Sep 1, 2006

MEGALA---WHO??!!??

Awesome post man, looking forward to watching the rest of the season, my girlfriend doesnít get it and is a touch confused as to why anyone with a business would want to do this show, Iíve tried to explain that these berks arenít actually business people and are more interested in getting themselves in front of the camera but sheís not quite clicked.

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

Week one: cruise line

So here we are. A new series of The Apprentice. We start with some power walking across a bridge



This is to weave a facade of glamour for the show, of course. Actual filming locations include HQ of one of Sugar's mates which is next to a plumbing supplies and boiler spares warehouse in Wembley



... just across the road from TP cash and Carry - it's open to the public so do feel free to pop in and give them a bit of business.





Anyway

The candidates file into the boardroom, handing over their business plans to a woman on reception who is most likely trying to get an acting career off the ground. They've given her face shots this series rather than just filming the back of her head, so that's good for her.



The contestants take their seats or stand up - not bothering about social distancing or masks or whatever. Sugar explains that Claude won't be part of the process this year because he has "had a nasty accident". He doesn't elaborate any further, so the viewing public are left to assume that it is something embarrassing. You know, something along the lines of Brian May shredding his arse with a garden implement that time. Something you want to keep quiet.

Sugar introduces Tim Campbell as another good friend of his.



Tim was the winner of Series 1 of The Apprentice, way back in 2005. The contestants look delighted to see him.

Finally we have some evidence that this was filmed recently as Sugar warns the candidates that the pandemic hasn't made him go soft - "in this boardroom, you don't get furloughed, you get fired!" :rolleyes:. He then runs through a series of prepared jokes based around the CVs of the contestants. Everyone makes sure to have at least a little chuckle at all of them.



He's still got it!

Sugar explains that he's sending the contestants down to Portsmouth to board a cruise ship: Virgin Voyage's new flagship vessel. The task is to develop a marketing campaign for a new cruise line: a brand, a TV advert and a social media tease. The campaigns will be pitched to real life industry experts who will report back to Lord Sugar, who will ignore what they say if he doesn't agree with it anyway.

The people carriers are off! They make sure to drive through central London to make it look like that's where they've departed from. The contestants introduce themselves to each other and this is cut with clips of some of them talking about how brilliant they are. Finally, the contestants do a bit more power walking to board the cruise liner. There are later clips of the liner at sea, but it's very unlikely that the ship left port during filming. It's most likely that the contestants were put up in a nearby Premier Inn in Portsmouth and boarded the ship for filming over the three days.

The candidates settle down and take their seats in two groups: men and women. Karren is watching the men with her clipboard and Tim the women with his. Deliberations over who will be PM begin, Aaron asks the men who has experience of advertising and marking and the classic awkward nobody-is-talking music plays. Akshay puts himself forward saying he runs a marketing company, and there is a general grumble of approval and agreement that he sounds "very knowledgeable". Akshay says "I have ideas, I have seeds... let's get a tree out of it!". Oh, you'll get a tree out of it, sonny.

On the women's team, Kathryn puts herself forward saying she has previous experience working on cruises. That's that, then. Kathryn is clear from the get-go that she wants to aim at the 25-45 "friends" market segment. Francesca dissents saying the 45+ demographic has more money and free time; she tries to put it to a vote but she's shut down abruptly by Kathryn who says she is the one with experience and she wants to redefine cruising. Glamour and parties are foremost in Kathryn's ideas; it is quite clear she wants to base the campaign on a cruise that she would want to go on :ssh:. The converse happens on the men's team with Aaron proposing cruises for a younger demographic but Akshay being set on cruises for older people, based on "health and well-being".

Brittany and Amy slug it out to be in charge of the TV advert. Amy has produced several shows and promotional videos and has experience in editing, while Brittany has worked in a hotel. Brittany seems miffed about being turned down. On the men's team, Akeem says he has produced his own sportswear brand and is picked as "sub team leader". He tries to scupper his promotion by saying he doesn't have expertise in branding. Akshay describes his vision as consisting of three pillars: health and well-being, luxury, and "the ultimate experience". I have to say it's refreshing to see that the men's team this year doesn't have any of that chest-thumping crap that went on years ago.

Day two

Half of each team plan TV adverts and the other halves are to come up with a branding strategy. Akshay has put himself on the TV advert team. Kathryn is on the branding team on her side, which seems a more sensible place for PM to be. Kathryn has come up with "Boujie cruises". This is a word that means something to Kathryn but means nothing to anyone over the age of 30. So of course she goes ahead with this.

The men's branding team led by Akeem comes up with some real bangers. Spirit of the Sea, Mindful Ship. They settle on Neverending Nautical.

More TV gold as Akshay plans his TV advert. Aaron will be the captain of the ship and in the next scene will appear in some old codgers' cabin telling them their spa is ready. Aaron's not having it - he's a captain. It's quite clear that Akshay is not a collaborative person.


"I'm a Captain!"

On the women's team, Amy's authority is trampled over by Brittany and Harpreet, who just don't shut up, and the latter of the two is terminally domineering.



The men's branding team finally decides on the ship name of seaquillity. They are now focused on developing a logo. Akeem's idea is a wave. Nick has an idea which he expresses using his body.



A graphic designer is on hand to interpret their ideas and it's not looking too bad.



It's not great, but it's not awful.

Yet.

Harry pipes up that he doesn't like the wave, however. Harry has his mind set on something that involves a fountain and chakras, instead.



Harry has a whole interconnected idea of how this thing expresses the core values of the brand, but he is shut down by Akeem who insists there is limited time and they are going with the wave.

On the women's team there's a bit of disagreement about the colour of their logo. They go with blue because it's the colour of the sea. Francesca wanted orange because she's studied colour psychology. They finally decide on a rotary club invitation that is completely at odds with the apparent connotations of the word "boujie".



Nick has the idea to colour the logo "like a tree". Akeem asks for a lighter green. Akshay has got his tree.



And with that, we know there is no possible way the men can win this task. Harry is vocal in his opposition to this thing: "it looks like a banana, rotting upside down". Navid has jumped ship and is now also opposed to this creation. Nick says "it's simple, it's clean, it's going to be good!". Akeem just wants this whole thing to be over with. Nick says he thinks they've done a really good job and that they have "nailed all the... uh... pillars". Nick's a bit of a wally, really, isn't he?

So it's mid-afternoon and the two halves of each team finally get in touch with each other. Harry warns the other half of the men's team not to be alarmed when they see the logo, so the branding team are immediately alarmed. Akshay asks if they have the name of the cruise line under the logo. They don't.

Amy does her best to direct a TV advert with Brittany and Harpreet in it along with a couple of young lads from an acting agency. Harpreet and Brittany decide to direct the video from their position as actors, however. Shama just kind of looks on, bewildered.





Akshay directs his video in a dictatorial style, ignoring the common sense advice being voiced by Aaron and Alex. His extras are two older people, one of whom possibly gets a bit of work as a Richard Branson lookalike as well as his extra work.



The same team that came up with the men's sad banana logo is in charge of coming up with a social media tease. Nick has lots more ideas. This time involving him doing a lot of jumping half naked.



We're not sure why, given this is targeted at older people, but at this point Akeem seems to have given up on anything making sense and just wants to be done with proceedings as quickly as possible. Harry tries to interrupt proceedings with words of advice and caution, but this goes unheeded. The women's team are also jumping in their social media tease.


Remember how I said Sophie faded into the background?

Yeah, she wore a green dress filming against a green screen. Their solution is to cut her out of the scenes.



Day 3

This is pitch day. The teams review the work of the previous day. Many of the women - Shama in particular - still have no idea what "boujie" means. Akshay makes it clear he is very disappointed with the logo. So today, half of the teams go around the ship asking for feedback on brands while the others prepare the pitches. The men are told by a barman that their logo looks like a "PVI - a public vomiting incident". Another bloke says he's not going to go on a cruise with a company that has a logo with a turd in it. Harry enjoys some premature schadenfreude about this. The bar staff are also confused about why there is no name with the logo. Predictably, on the women's team, the main point of feedback is that nobody knows what in the hell bougie means.

Kathryn decides it's a given she's in the pitch as PM. She also chooses Amy from the ad team and Sophie. Francesca and Stephanie slug it out for the last spot in the pitch. Akshay chooses himself, Akeem, Navid and Conor for his pitch.

The pitches are watched by a panel of supposed industry experts and some people who work on the ship and of course Tim and Karren. The women go first. Their pitch put together is like an advert to recruit holiday reps for a budget 18-30 package provider in Ibiza, 20 years ago. It at least looks like it has something to do with holidays, though.



The panel don't know what boujie is. Kathryn is still not able to articulate it. Amy steps in and saves her from embarrassing silence.

Kathryn says she thought the pitch went well.

Next up, the men present their Neverending Nautical thing. You cannot polish a turd, but - bless them - they have a drat good try. First question is why the brand name isn't there. Akshay leaves Akeem and Navid to flounder and make up bullshit in response to the questions of the panel, while he watches on. An observation by the panel is that nothing suggests anything to do with cruises.

A round of applause, please.



So it's back to the boardroom. Sugar struggles to pronounce the word Boujie, let alone understand what it means. Kathryn reveals she previously worked for Virgin Cruises and kept it quiet during the task. Francesca tries to twist the knife on the brand name but is slapped down by Kathryn - the two are sitting beside each other. Tim has evidently fed back that Brittany and Harpreet gave Amy a hard time when she was trying to direct things.

Sugar doesn't think the campaign elements are wonderful, but he observes that they have put the name on it and it looks like it has something to do with holidays.

Onto the men


"What is that?"

Karren informs him that that is their logo. Navid tries to claim that the logo is deliberately "weird" to try to get people's attention. Akshay uses this opportunity to express his disappointment about the logo. Harry pipes up to say he repeatedly warned about the logo.

Sugar is amused by the TV advert, in a good way. He likes that the actor looks like Branson. He's not impressed by the social media tease - he does one of his faces at it.

So no surprise the women won

They get to go to the fancy house and there's champagne there for them.


yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Shama still doesn't know what boujie means.

The men are dissecting their loss in the Cabana Cafe. Akeem is pinning the blame on Harry for suggesting other ideas - apparently that's why their logo turned out poo poo. Akshay is gunning for Akeem for his failure to produce anything good by way of branding.

Back in the boardroom, everyone turns on Harry.

Akshay chooses Akeem and Harry to come back with him.

Karren's observations are that Akshay thinks he's a lot better than he is, Harry was disruptive and Akeem was focused on deadlines but not quality.

They come back in. Sugar asks Harry if he thinks he's out of his depth. Harry thinks it's an outrage that he was brought back in.

Harry gets fired.



Why? Because he was identified as a soft touch and scapegoated, and this is not a just process. More importantly, his business idea was bath bombs. I suppose Lush seem to do quite well with them but that's with a load of other products and a huge national brand. There's not a great barrier to entry in bath bombs. My 9 year old neice makes them for presents.

crispix fucked around with this message at 08:24 on Jan 10, 2022

Bape Culture
Sep 13, 2006



That is ten times more effort than any of these dick heads ever put into a business lol.

stev
Jan 22, 2013

Please be excited.





Blimey. Good work - that was more entertaining than watching the blaahdy show.


I wonder how much the BBC spent renting out a luxurious mansion in (presumably) Great London for 12 weeks. Hopefully the ad placement money from Virgin covered it.

Gaz2k21
Sep 1, 2006

MEGALA---WHO??!!??

stev posted:

Blimey. Good work - that was more entertaining than watching the blaahdy show.


I wonder how much the BBC spent renting out a luxurious mansion in (presumably) Great London for 12 weeks. Hopefully the ad placement money from Virgin covered it.

If I remember from previous seasons it used to be far more lavish often fully kitted out with Bang & Olufsen stuff and having a lot more room, not that the current place isnít nice but it shows how the series has depreciated over the years.

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

Are we looking at the same thing? That pool and jacootsie room is probably bigger than my whole place :laugh:

Comrade Fakename
Feb 13, 2012




https://twitter.com/mattcockhand/status/1480645772462940166

Bape Culture
Sep 13, 2006




Trumpian.

eating only apples
Dec 12, 2009

Shall we dance?


Wonder if the real reason for no Apprentice for the last two years was not pandemic, but Sugar. The guy is batshit and looks on the edge of death :(

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

I think he looks okay for 74?

It is quite funny how he treats the show as a nice little outing for himself lol

eating only apples
Dec 12, 2009

Shall we dance?


crispix posted:

I think he looks okay for 74?

He looks older and sicker than my 85 year old grandfather, but that might be just my grandpa doing well :thumbsup:

stev
Jan 22, 2013

Please be excited.





I wonder who (if anyone) they'd get to do the show when he dies? I can't really think of any other UK businessmen famous enough to be a draw but enough of a pathetic failure to actually agree to it.

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

stev posted:

I wonder who (if anyone) they'd get to do the show when he dies? I can't really think of any other UK businessmen famous enough to be a draw but enough of a pathetic failure to actually agree to it.

eating only apples
Dec 12, 2009

Shall we dance?


stev posted:

I wonder who (if anyone) they'd get to do the show when he dies? I can't really think of any other UK businessmen famous enough to be a draw but enough of a pathetic failure to actually agree to it.

That cruise ship actor who looked like Branson is probably free, good enough

MyChemicalImbalance
Sep 15, 2007

Keep on smilin'



:unsmith:

Would watch a series with Simon Jordan - he cut his teeth flogging mobiles (plenty of room for Sugar-esque back in my day patter) and has since went on to sling hot takes at TalkSport. Also just look at him.



Great OP by the way, that first episode delivered in some areas and I'm not watching much else at the minute so I'm on board!

MyChemicalImbalance fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Jan 11, 2022

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

That just looks like Rayne Wooney wearing a wig

Austen Tassletine
Nov 5, 2010


Caught up on the first episode and found it surprisingly entertaining. Maybe it's just that it's been a while since it was last on, but I didn't get bored and and stop watching which tended to happen in the last few seasons until I stopped watching it completely. Worst part as usual is Sugar himself who is well past his sell by date on this show, and in general. His painfully unfunny scripted jokes and the forced laughter are a particular lowlight.

Also, great op and write-up by the way. Genuinely better than the programme itself.

J33uk
Oct 23, 2005


Austen Tassletine posted:

Caught up on the first episode and found it surprisingly entertaining. Maybe it's just that it's been a while since it was last on, but I didn't get bored and and stop watching which tended to happen in the last few seasons until I stopped watching it completely. Worst part as usual is Sugar himself who is well past his sell by date on this show, and in general. His painfully unfunny scripted jokes and the forced laughter are a particular lowlight.

Also, great op and write-up by the way. Genuinely better than the programme itself.

Agreed on pretty much all counts here, that write-up and OP are awesome. I was almost wondering if they were going to do a swerve with Sugar's jokes being just that wretched but nope, that was for real. Ouch. The show is still vaguely entertaining but man that first season or two where it felt like people were genuinely trying and buying into the concept instead of the heightened reality show hijinks was really cool.

Gaz2k21
Sep 1, 2006

MEGALA---WHO??!!??

CGI Alan sugar


Strong startÖ.

deletebeepbeepbeep
Nov 11, 2008


The guys team are obsessed with turds.

Gaz2k21
Sep 1, 2006

MEGALA---WHO??!!??

deletebeepbeepbeep posted:

The guys team are obsessed with turds.

That was stupid, which is a shame as I thought the wizard idea was better than the other teams

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

That was fantastic lol

I'll do a write up for this one probably on Monday, i'm busy this weekend :(

stev
Jan 22, 2013

Please be excited.





I feel like I'd have been into the orange space thing when I was 8.

stev
Jan 22, 2013

Please be excited.





Really wish Alan would stop using the "and for that reason... I'm struggling" fake out. It's literally every episode. :v:

eating only apples
Dec 12, 2009

Shall we dance?


stev posted:

I feel like I'd have been into the orange space thing when I was 8.

Yeah 8 year olds were cool with that bit, it was the packaging and branding that was too childish, the actual product looked way cooler than my boring black electric toothbrush

Marmaduke!
May 19, 2009

Why would it do that!?

Haven't got to the end yet but Poor Guillermo

eating only apples
Dec 12, 2009

Shall we dance?


"Sophie is just a silly girl"

Glad he went

stev
Jan 22, 2013

Please be excited.





Why does every episode have to have a product pitch? I swear there used to be three or four pitched per series. It gets boring.

The beer team had zero chance of winning no matter what they did. Trying to sell pre-brewed generic AF ale mixed with flavourings to beer snobs was never going to work.

stev fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Jan 22, 2022

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

Sorry I've let the thread go, folks. I started a new job on the 10th and I'm loving it but there is a lot to learn. I'll do something for some of the episodes but it's really going downhill fast anyway imo lol

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

just search my post history for "diarrhea princess"

I won't be watching the last episode because I'm not prepared to see living things killed for a tacky lovely alan sugar gameshow

stev
Jan 22, 2013

Please be excited.





crispix posted:

I won't be watching the last episode because I'm not prepared to see living things killed for a tacky lovely alan sugar gameshow

Yeah they properly butcher a shitload of fish very poorly. It's not good.

ThomasPaine
Feb 4, 2009

We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.


250k for 50% if your business isn't even that good, you'd get a better deal on dragon's den. This is just sugar grifting by getting a bunch of idiots to come up wirh business ideas for him.

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stev
Jan 22, 2013

Please be excited.





ThomasPaine posted:

250k for 50% if your business isn't even that good, you'd get a better deal on dragon's den. This is just sugar grifting by getting a bunch of idiots to come up wirh business ideas for him.

Not to mention his involvement is more likely to drag you down than help. The man is incompetent.

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