congratulations. you did it.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > congratulations. you did it.

precision: May 7, 2006; by VideoGames

�Back to the show,� Mehler says in the YouTube video, in which he first appears wearing an astronaut-style helmet. �I want to introduce myself before we actually meet F to F, as we say these days, which everybody knows means gently caress to gently caress�which really means that we�re all hosed.�

Mehler, a tenured historian of science and racism, tells students that when they see him in person in class, he�ll be wearing the $300 helmet because it has high-efficiency particulate air filters to protect �both me and you from this deadly virus that�s going around.�

Mehler then delivers a profanity-laden soliloquy about how no �cocksucker of an administrator is going to tell me how to teach my classes because I�m a loving tenured professor. So if you want to go complain to your dean, gently caress you. Go ahead. I�m retiring at the end of this year, and I couldn�t give a flying gently caress any longer.�

He adds, �You people are just vectors of disease to me, and I don�t want to be anywhere near you. So keep your loving distance. If you want to talk to me, come to my Zoom.�

Mehler later explains that his speech was inspired by a similarly vulgar soliloquy from the HBO television show Deadwood, about life in a gold-mining town, and he uses the opportunity to address the concept of plagiarism.

Things get stranger from here, with Mehler citing Calvinism and predestination as the reasons he�ll assign students� grades randomly, regardless of individual effort (he later says students can earn an A, but he doesn�t explicitly say he�s joking about random grades). He also says that if students want to protect their grandparents from COVID-19, they should protect him, too, as he�s old enough to be their grandfather.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrOzY86YcEM

# ? Jan 16, 2022 11:37

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 04:40

precision: May 7, 2006; by VideoGames

mods please change my name to "professor of science and racism"

# ? Jan 16, 2022 11:38

Bismuth: Jun 11, 2010; by Azathoth; Hell Gem

# ? Jan 16, 2022 11:41

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.