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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Like most people I love to tell lies but I hate getting caught telling lies. It's embarrassing and sometimes pretty destructive to get caught lying. I think the main problem is that people tell lies without testing to see if the lie is believable or easily found out because they get caught up in their own heads and don't realise how it'll play out in the real world.

I think we should come together as a community and help each other out with our lies, judgement free.

I have this glass that I'm thinking about telling people that I made. I doesn't have any obvious markings on it. It looks like it could be hand blown - it's not totally symmetrical and even a little bit wonky. I'm thinking of telling people I went to a glass blowing workshop once and this is my first attempt. Pretty good right? Worst case scenario is that they're only a little bit impressed that I produced such a good piece of work on my first and only attempt at glass blowing.

The problem is I've never been glass blowing and I'm gambling that they haven't either. Maybe there's a really obvious tell-tale sign that it's mass produced. Maybe they have the same glass. Or maybe it's just way too good for someone to have possibly made on their first try.

Here's the glass:



So what do you think? Should I go for it?

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Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Also, Lithuania is not a Baltic state

(Lithuania is an error of History)

Nap Ghost

Funky See Funky Do posted:

Like most people I love to tell lies but I hate getting caught telling lies. It's embarrassing and sometimes pretty destructive to get caught lying. I think the main problem is that people tell lies without testing to see if the lie is believable or easily found out because they get caught up in their own heads and don't realise how it'll play out in the real world.

I think we should come together as a community and help each other out with our lies, judgement free.

I have this glass that I'm thinking about telling people that I made. I doesn't have any obvious markings on it. It looks like it could be hand blown - it's not totally symmetrical and even a little bit wonky. I'm thinking of telling people I went to a glass blowing workshop once and this is my first attempt. Pretty good right? Worst case scenario is that they're only a little bit impressed that I produced such a good piece of work on my first and only attempt at glass blowing.

The problem is I've never been glass blowing and I'm gambling that they haven't either. Maybe there's a really obvious tell-tale sign that it's mass produced. Maybe they have the same glass. Or maybe it's just way too good for someone to have possibly made on their first try.

Here's the glass:



So what do you think? Should I go for it?

gently caress yeah. drink that cup that is leaning to the right

Dr. Snuggles
Dec 3, 2012

Tbh some of us (Pick) use this website more than others and I feel that I am unfairly subsidizing picks posting. Unless some kind of fee by post usage is enabled were basically instituting a forced welfare state of posting.

I'm six two, I just have really tall doors in my house.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Dr. Snuggles posted:

I'm six two, I just have really tall doors in my house.

That's a really bad one. Lots of people really are 6'2" or taller so as soon as they're around and you're shorter you'll get caught. Plus sometimes when you go to the tailor they'll measure you. Try 5'11" or 5'10". Technically it'll still be just as easy to get caught but people will be a lot less likely to be on the lookout for it because nobody cares.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





Tell them you had a dream about that cup, and when you woke up it was in your hand.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Also, Lithuania is not a Baltic state

(Lithuania is an error of History)

Nap Ghost

Funky See Funky Do posted:

That's a really bad one. Lots of people really are 6'2" or taller so as soon as they're around and you're shorter you'll get caught. Plus sometimes when you go to the tailor they'll measure you. Try 5'11" or 5'10". Technically it'll still be just as easy to get caught but people will be a lot less likely to be on the lookout for it because nobody cares.

hey that is me. I'm 6'2"
Didn't read the rest of what you said

ChunTheUnavoidable
Sep 27, 2021



Bad Purchase posted:

Tell them you had a dream about that cup, and when you woke up it was in your hand.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Bad Purchase posted:

Tell them you had a dream about that cup, and when you woke up it was in your hand.

I just want people to think I'm good at glass blowing not some nexus for a mysterious magical force that conjures items from my dreams into reality.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





suit yourself, but big lies are more believable

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


I like going for outlandish current events but practicing my tone to where I can have someone in an office believing Joe Biden killed himself for a couple of minutes (the believing) and then escalating to the autoerotic asphyxiation and see how long I can keep someone's reality in the absurd by sheer straightfacedness.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Bad Purchase posted:

suit yourself, but big lies are more believable

There is some wisdom to that and it'd be pretty stupid of me to start a thread asking for advice on my lie if I'm not gonna take it when it's offered. Alright I'll give it a shot.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



ive never killed and ate a human being

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Also, Lithuania is not a Baltic state

(Lithuania is an error of History)

Nap Ghost

Sid Vicious posted:

ive never killed and ate a human being

you are a terrible liar

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015

:hellyeah::histdowns:

Think fast:
How'd you do that thick base and thin walls thing? And how do you blow a glass with such a big opening? So, why does all the pigment concentrate at the top?


To tell a believable lie you should believe it yourself. This isn't hard, people are great at cognitive dissonance, you just have to make it work for you.

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009






Have you thought about some of the details that people might ask about the glass blowing itself, like where or when you supposedly made that glass?

Also some people may ask about how to blow glass but like in a general way, so you may want to watch some glass blowing videos to get the gist

Also watch a video of how a glass cup is made, and then you can imagine yourself making that cup. This way if someone asks for specifics you can answer it. Also keep in mind that it's unusual for a cup to be like that, so you should be ready if someone asks why the cup turned out like that

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Xaintrailles posted:

Think fast:
How'd you do that thick base and thin walls thing? And how do you blow a glass with such a big opening? So, why does all the pigment concentrate at the top?


To tell a believable lie you should believe it yourself. This isn't hard, people are great at cognitive dissonance, you just have to make it work for you.

It was years ago and I just followed the instructor and that's the type of glass they gave us - I think it's called "stained glass" like they make those windows in churches out of? Speaking of Church, I haven't seen you there in a while. Is everything ok? I know things have been pretty tough lately but we all miss you. Maybe we'll see you this Sunday?

Space Kablooey posted:

Have you thought about some of the details that people might ask about the glass blowing itself, like where or when you supposedly made that glass?

Also some people may ask about how to blow glass but like in a general way, so you may want to watch some glass blowing videos to get the gist

Also watch a video of how a glass cup is made, and then you can imagine yourself making that cup. This way if someone asks for specifics you can answer it. Also keep in mind that it's unusual for a cup to be like that, so you should be ready if someone asks why the cup turned out like that

This is turning into a lot of work. I'm just going to tell people I apparated it in my sleep.

Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 04:03 on Jan 17, 2022

Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

SORRY!
Oh my gosh, that was a big one!

Hell Gem

I found a video of some people making a drinking glass with nipples, you can just omit the nipples and pretend this is what you did, hth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsj00l4rYu8

FPS_Sage
Oct 25, 2007

This was a triumph

Gun Saliva

OP be careful with this lie. I know several people with very similar glassware, I think it is called Mexican glass (although granted, that curve is very unique). It is usually identified with the clear bottom with some air bubbles in it, and the blue rim. This is something that is easily verified with a simple google search. Maybe a better lie to tell would be saying you got it on a trip to Mexico?

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Between those last two posts. I think I might have a really good shot at getting away with this one.

"It's called Mexican glass. I made it blue by dipping the molten glass in this powdered blue pigment. The opening is made by inserting some callipers and spinning the glass around it as you gradually open up the glass to the width you want. Sort of like how you'd open a vase when using a pottery wheel."

If someone said that to you there'd be no doubt in your mind - they made that thing. Thanks everyone for the excellent advice.

That's the little practice lie out of the way, now to move onto something a little bigger: Getting the people I pull over using the siren I bought online to believe I'm a plain clothed police officer.

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009



Fun Shoe

"It's called a Mexican police siren, I made it red and blue by dipping the molten glass in a powdered red and blue pigment."

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



the holy poopacy posted:

"It's called a Mexican police siren, I made it red and blue by dipping the molten glass in a powdered red and blue pigment."

lol

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.



a better lie is to imagine a glass that doesn't exist at all and then gaslight whoever you're showing it to into thinking that they broke it

"yeah this is a weird glass isn't it. i bought it to replace the one you broke last time you were round. ha, i bet you don't remember, you were wasted. yeah, it wasn't a big deal, i made it in a glassblowing course the last time I did anything with my mother, just before she died. yeah, cancer. it's a real shame. i wouldn't ever do glassblowing again now, it's just too painful. yeah i was angry for a while but then i realised that you just can't control yourself, it's not really your fault."

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Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019


one of the trickiest things is lying is it's often indistinguishable from being really dumb

like poo poo I'm so loving stupid how do I even interpret reality appropriately let alone describe it or function in the real world with other people through language who might even be as dumb as I am which would just make the problem even worse?

gently caress

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