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styls trill epic
Dec 28, 2021

by sebmojo


Durr I'm a soda stream nobody use me anymore. Maybe making beautiful soda water in the comfort of ones home is merely a novelty????

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Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~


Grimey Drawer

Want some bread? Because I can make you some bread.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die


Nap Ghost

i'm a knife, totally useless in this modern world of kraft mac and cheese

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







I知 the pristine robin痴 egg blue Kitchenaid mixer taking up a full 40% of the available counter space.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



slap chop my bitch up, change my pitch up

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


Hello I'm your Ninja blender. Remember when you were gonna start eating healthy?

WILDTURKEY101
Mar 7, 2005

Look to your left. Look to your right. Only one of you is going to pass this course.

fine, I guess you didn't need electric. Go back to your hand cranked can opener. I don't give a gently caress. I'll be here, attached to the underside of the cabinet, when you need me.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



Full Metal Jackass posted:

Hello I'm your Ninja blender. Remember when you were gonna start eating healthy?

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





i'm the heavy stone mortar slowly causing the cupboard shelf to warp. i'm too porous to easily clean after making guacs and pestos, and my owner is too lazy to grind fresh spices instead of using the preground stuff from the grocery store.

Empty Sandwich
Apr 22, 2008

goatse mugs

Bags Fly at Noon posted:

I’m the pristine robin’s egg blue Kitchenaid mixer taking up a full 40% of the available counter space.

I am a Venmo offer being typed in the kitchen

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


Hi there, your toaster oven here. Just chilling in the dark in your garage, home to a nest of black widow spiders. You don't give a gently caress about me do you? Thats OK. I'll be here when you decide you to free yourself from that whore microwave.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



its me, realistic grill marks le crueset grill pan. i get used one a year. welp, back into the darkness once more.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


*cries in Keurig*

ChunTheUnavoidable
Sep 27, 2021



the furtive honey dipper, so easily forgotten

hell astro course
Dec 10, 2009

pizza sucks



a good will aisle of gently used george foremans as far as the eye can see

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




I'm a very expensive breville toaster oven air fryer combo. Strictly speaking I'm just a countertop convection oven but air fryer is a trendier name. Either way, I get used every day and I rule

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







I知 the Traeger WiFi connected pellet grill. I知 inside because I require electric power to work and no one wants an unsightly extension cord running outside. Anyway I don稚 get used anymore because I killed my family with CO poisoning from being used inside and Dad wasn稚 able to shut me off fast enough because I was running a firmware update.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Why don't they want to eat jaffles every day like they did for that one week three years ago anymore. Did I do something wrong? Is it the jaffles? They're exactly as good now as they were for that one week where they made jaffles every day three years ago. I don't understand what went so badly wrong.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Despite my uproar I'm still just a whisk in a drawer.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Fruit blended so hard that it comes apart at the molecular level does provide 500% more nutrition that regularly blended fruit! It does! I'm not a liar! I'm not a fraud!

funeral home DJ
Apr 21, 2003




Pillbug

numberoneposter posted:

its me, realistic grill marks le crueset grill pan. i get used one a year. welp, back into the darkness once more.

Oh hello old friend, how was it out there? I知 the lodge cast iron pan shoved in the back of the cabinet that was trendy for a few months before people realized I知 a bitch to clean and I rust immediately.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I'm a little toaster, brave and stout
Fork around and you will find out

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



*garburator that hasnt been used since 1998*

oilcan..... oil... can.....

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.


reignofevil posted:

Despite my uproar I'm still just a whisk in a drawer.

I知 in an rear end.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

I知 in an rear end.

Stirring up poo poo again huh? You rascal.

cult_hero
Jul 10, 2001


Want some corn balls? Come on baby, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just get a little excited sometimes. Now let me out of the basement, I'm cold....

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.


Funky See Funky Do posted:

Stirring up poo poo again huh? You rascal.

Please kill me.

Bluemillion
Aug 18, 2008

I got your dispensers
right here


cult_hero posted:

Want some corn balls? Come on baby, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just get a little excited sometimes. Now let me out of the basement, I'm cold....

Every damned time!

sootikins
May 24, 2008

Did I ever. Remember it as if it were yesterday. Soon as I woke, I went to empty my bowels - my favorite part of the day. Defecatin' to the sunrise - downright glorious.


i'm the nutribullet in the cabinet above the stove that you need a step stool to get to.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.


sootikins posted:

i'm the nutribullet in the cabinet above the stove that you need a step stool to get to.

There is no step stool in the house :(

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



*is satanic Ron Popeil altar, full collection, no counter space. Orders takeout every night* :haibrower:

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


Hey. Hey, buddy. Hey! Over here.

How would you like to microwave two perfect eggs?

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


I'm the pepper cannon, held in place by velvet form-fitting stand, on display in the glass hutch, watching the humans using the disposable pepper grinder, laughing at the inconsistent and inferior grounds.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


*salad spinner falls out of the cabinet and onto the floor everytime the door is opened*

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Problematic Poster*~

Fun Shoe

*gets thrown away*

much like the OP needs to be

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



lol my sister is trying to sell her soda stream on facebook marketplace for like 20 bucks less than new, shes so god drat stupid!!!!

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.


I'm the fondue pot pulled out of retirement for one last job because of this thread.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



i hope this finds you well, i have been stranded in the basement for nary a decade, my name is Volcano Weed Vaporizer and my owner thought I was the best loving thing ever in 2013. how times have changed. is weed legal yet out there??? hello??? a family of rats have made a nest out of my combustion chamber. they have had many broods. i fear this is my last winter. -VWV

numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 17:42 on Jan 19, 2022

cult_hero
Jul 10, 2001


Full Metal Jackass posted:

*salad spinner falls out of the cabinet and onto the floor everytime the door is opened*

Aren't I fun? I shoot salads! Well, slices of round things. Like cucumbers and zucchini! No, no. Carrots are too hard. Yes Darrell, I saw the commercial, I was in it remember? I mean for god's sake, just give me a purpose. You haven't even cleaned me since Clinton was in office.

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Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES


anyone posted the Sex Objects story yet



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