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Durr I'm a soda stream nobody use me anymore. Maybe making beautiful soda water in the comfort of ones home is merely a novelty????
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Jan 18, 2022 18:10
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Want some bread? Because I can make you some bread.
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Jan 18, 2022 18:12
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i'm a knife, totally useless in this modern world of kraft mac and cheese
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Jan 18, 2022 18:15
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I知 the pristine robin痴 egg blue Kitchenaid mixer taking up a full 40% of the available counter space.
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Jan 18, 2022 18:34
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slap chop my bitch up, change my pitch up
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Jan 18, 2022 18:55
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Hello I'm your Ninja blender. Remember when you were gonna start eating healthy?
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Jan 18, 2022 18:57
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fine, I guess you didn't need electric. Go back to your hand cranked can opener. I don't give a gently caress. I'll be here, attached to the underside of the cabinet, when you need me.
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Jan 18, 2022 18:59
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Full Metal Jackass posted:Hello I'm your Ninja blender. Remember when you were gonna start eating healthy? 
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Jan 18, 2022 19:00
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i'm the heavy stone mortar slowly causing the cupboard shelf to warp. i'm too porous to easily clean after making guacs and pestos, and my owner is too lazy to grind fresh spices instead of using the preground stuff from the grocery store.
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Jan 18, 2022 19:01
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Bags Fly at Noon posted:I’m the pristine robin’s egg blue Kitchenaid mixer taking up a full 40% of the available counter space. I am a Venmo offer being typed in the kitchen
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Jan 18, 2022 19:02
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Hi there, your toaster oven here. Just chilling in the dark in your garage, home to a nest of black widow spiders. You don't give a gently caress about me do you? Thats OK. I'll be here when you decide you to free yourself from that whore microwave.
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Jan 18, 2022 19:03
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its me, realistic grill marks le crueset grill pan. i get used one a year. welp, back into the darkness once more.
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Jan 18, 2022 19:03
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*cries in Keurig*
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Jan 18, 2022 19:04
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the furtive honey dipper, so easily forgotten
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Jan 18, 2022 19:05
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a good will aisle of gently used george foremans as far as the eye can see
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Jan 18, 2022 19:07
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I'm a very expensive breville toaster oven air fryer combo. Strictly speaking I'm just a countertop convection oven but air fryer is a trendier name. Either way, I get used every day and I rule
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Jan 18, 2022 20:13
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I知 the Traeger WiFi connected pellet grill. I知 inside because I require electric power to work and no one wants an unsightly extension cord running outside. Anyway I don稚 get used anymore because I killed my family with CO poisoning from being used inside and Dad wasn稚 able to shut me off fast enough because I was running a firmware update.
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Jan 18, 2022 20:44
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Why don't they want to eat jaffles every day like they did for that one week three years ago anymore. Did I do something wrong? Is it the jaffles? They're exactly as good now as they were for that one week where they made jaffles every day three years ago. I don't understand what went so badly wrong.
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Jan 19, 2022 14:13
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Despite my uproar I'm still just a whisk in a drawer.
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Jan 19, 2022 14:14
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Fruit blended so hard that it comes apart at the molecular level does provide 500% more nutrition that regularly blended fruit! It does! I'm not a liar! I'm not a fraud!
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Jan 19, 2022 14:16
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numberoneposter posted:its me, realistic grill marks le crueset grill pan. i get used one a year. welp, back into the darkness once more. Oh hello old friend, how was it out there? I知 the lodge cast iron pan shoved in the back of the cabinet that was trendy for a few months before people realized I知 a bitch to clean and I rust immediately.
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Jan 19, 2022 14:18
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I'm a little toaster, brave and stout Fork around and you will find out
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Jan 19, 2022 15:23
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*garburator that hasnt been used since 1998* oilcan..... oil... can.....
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Jan 19, 2022 15:25
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reignofevil posted:Despite my uproar I'm still just a whisk in a drawer. I知 in an rear end.
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Jan 19, 2022 15:30
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:I知 in an rear end. Stirring up poo poo again huh? You rascal.
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Jan 19, 2022 15:33
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Want some corn balls? Come on baby, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just get a little excited sometimes. Now let me out of the basement, I'm cold....
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Jan 19, 2022 15:40
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Stirring up poo poo again huh? You rascal. Please kill me.
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Jan 19, 2022 15:41
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cult_hero posted:Want some corn balls? Come on baby, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just get a little excited sometimes. Now let me out of the basement, I'm cold.... Every damned time!
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Jan 19, 2022 15:56
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i'm the nutribullet in the cabinet above the stove that you need a step stool to get to.
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Jan 19, 2022 15:58
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sootikins posted:i'm the nutribullet in the cabinet above the stove that you need a step stool to get to. There is no step stool in the house 
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Jan 19, 2022 15:59
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*is satanic Ron Popeil altar, full collection, no counter space. Orders takeout every night* 
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Jan 19, 2022 16:11
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Hey. Hey, buddy. Hey! Over here. How would you like to microwave two perfect eggs?
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Jan 19, 2022 17:34
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I'm the pepper cannon, held in place by velvet form-fitting stand, on display in the glass hutch, watching the humans using the disposable pepper grinder, laughing at the inconsistent and inferior grounds.
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Jan 19, 2022 17:43
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*salad spinner falls out of the cabinet and onto the floor everytime the door is opened*
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Jan 19, 2022 17:46
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*gets thrown away* much like the OP needs to be
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Jan 19, 2022 17:52
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lol my sister is trying to sell her soda stream on facebook marketplace for like 20 bucks less than new, shes so god drat stupid!!!!
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Jan 19, 2022 17:54
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I'm the fondue pot pulled out of retirement for one last job because of this thread.
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Jan 19, 2022 18:10
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i hope this finds you well, i have been stranded in the basement for nary a decade, my name is Volcano Weed Vaporizer and my owner thought I was the best loving thing ever in 2013. how times have changed. is weed legal yet out there??? hello??? a family of rats have made a nest out of my combustion chamber. they have had many broods. i fear this is my last winter. -VWV
numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 18:42 on Jan 19, 2022 |
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Jan 19, 2022 18:39
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Full Metal Jackass posted:*salad spinner falls out of the cabinet and onto the floor everytime the door is opened* Aren't I fun? I shoot salads! Well, slices of round things. Like cucumbers and zucchini! No, no. Carrots are too hard. Yes Darrell, I saw the commercial, I was in it remember? I mean for god's sake, just give me a purpose. You haven't even cleaned me since Clinton was in office.
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Jan 19, 2022 18:49
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:31 |
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anyone posted the Sex Objects story yet
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Jan 19, 2022 18:54
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