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Hey, it's your deep fryer here. Wasn't making cheese sticks and corn dogs with your kids fun? If you set me up again, I'm sure they'll come back. I even have the same oil ready to heat and fry.
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Jan 19, 2022 19:05
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I am telling you, fresh ground coffee just TASTES BETTER. Why do you keep buying the pre-ground stuff when I'm right here, in the cupboard under the coffeemaker? We can recreate the opening credits of Dexter together! COME ON!
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Jan 19, 2022 19:09
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Need some potatoes riced? How about a cauliflower? Could you please buy something for me to rice? You don't have to eat it. You could just dump the mush in the trash like you do with all your cooked vegetables.
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Jan 19, 2022 19:21
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It's not my fault that storing liquids in me is messy and impractical. I'm shaped like a cow. A cow! Look at me, I'm fun and novel! You can pour cream out of my nose. Or gravy. Or syrup, maple or chocolate. I'll take any fluid, I'm desperate.
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Jan 19, 2022 19:27
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Yes hello I am a baking stone purchased during the 2020 covid lockdowns. I made a loaf of bread and a mediocre pizza. I am buried under food storage containers and my owner says "I should make more bread sometime" but they never do.
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Jan 19, 2022 19:33
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Hello I am the Instapot your mother in law decided you needed three Christmases ago. I appreciate that I'm in front of the crock pot on in the cabinet, even if it's just so that your mother in law can easily see me when she visits. I also appreciate that you call me by my actual name when you need to move me to get to the crock pot, even if it's only to ask "can we donate the loving Instant Pot? It takes up too much goddamn space." And I appreciate that due to your spouse's inability to stand up to their mother, I go right back to my cozy cabinet home - no stews or waves made. Would be nice to boil some eggs for you someday, maybe make some quick ribs? Super Bowl's coming up...
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Jan 19, 2022 20:00
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i'm the immersion blender, just checking in to see if you need any sauces or soups smoothed out. you know you can put me right into the sauce pot on the range, right? if you're careful, this time i won't splash around and make a huge mess and burn you with boiling hot tomato sauce splatter. no? you're just going to dump it all into the vitamix again? ok...
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Jan 19, 2022 20:04
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Semi-Protato posted:Hello I am the Instapot your mother in law decided you needed three Christmases ago. I appreciate that I'm in front of the crock pot on in the cabinet, even if it's just so that your mother in law can easily see me when she visits. I also appreciate that you call me by my actual name when you need to move me to get to the crock pot, even if it's only to ask "can we donate the loving Instant Pot? It takes up too much goddamn space." And I appreciate that due to your spouse's inability to stand up to their mother, I go right back to my cozy cabinet home - no stews or waves made. instant pot rules!!!!
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Jan 19, 2022 20:06
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I use my instant pot like every day its the only good gimmick cooking item
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Jan 19, 2022 20:09
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I'm stuck her in the cupboard, why are you to me so mean I swear i shall revenge it, I shall make myself unseen and patiently awaiting the moment when you reach for the dusty soda stream I shall rise to the occation, I shall surely make you scream As i cut your finger tips off, perpendicular and clean You shall once again remember, that you own a mandolin I'aint no dusty soda stream
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Jan 19, 2022 20:11
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I'm the 50 Tupperwares I'm the 50 Tupperware lids I'm the lack of combination between 50 tuppers and 50 lids
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Jan 19, 2022 20:13
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ChunTheUnavoidable posted:I use my instant pot like every day its the only good gimmick cooking item i use mine pretty often too, and yet i still can't shake the paranoia that it's going to explode and kill me every time i walk past it during the ~30 min it's at pressure. a thin piece of drywall separates my master bedroom from the water heater tank in the garage, which somehow never concerns me.
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Jan 19, 2022 20:17
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Sid Vicious posted:instant pot rules!!!! ChunTheUnavoidable posted:I use my instant pot like every day its the only good gimmick cooking item I like mine a bunch too but I know a ton of people who have theirs collecting dust. I can turn around pulled pork in no time with it and it makes awesome hard cooked eggs. I also have never heard anyone over 60 call it by its correct name. There's no such thing as an Instapot goddammit
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Jan 19, 2022 20:22
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I use my instant pot to cook rice 90% of the time and occasionally make roast beef with it.
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Jan 19, 2022 20:30
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Hello, fridge here. The lonely old lady in the rent controlled apartment that I reside in died six months and so has the cat that was feasting on her corpse. The stuff inside of me has turned quite sour and the building has so much mold that no one is noticing the smell coming from the apartment.
Lorthdon fucked around with this message at 23:34 on Jan 19, 2022 |
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Jan 19, 2022 20:33
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WEl[p.... Looks like its another Epic 2012 bangerino!!!!
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Jan 19, 2022 22:29
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I'M SO loving READY TO SPIN SOME SALAD
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Jan 19, 2022 22:38
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I'm the mini waffle machine you got for Christmas as a stocking stuffer. I am impossible to clean, do exactly one thing, and get so hot that the paint on my outside is flaking off. The manufacturer fixed this by putting "hot" on the paint that flaked off. I have been used exactly twice - once on Christmas morning to make Pillsbury cinnamon buns into waffles (actually pretty good) by the person who gave you the gift, and again on a snow day. The waffles are fine but everything takes twice as long because they're cute and mini.
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Jan 19, 2022 22:48
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hello its me the
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Jan 19, 2022 22:53
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I'm the air fryer around which you have based your personality.
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Jan 19, 2022 23:01
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Rejoice! After five long years, my owner has finally plugged me in once more. I'm going to toast him so many slices of bread! Right after the two of us get out of the bath tub.
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Jan 19, 2022 23:22
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I’m so pumped to process some food, as soon as I’m out of this cardboard box!! I’m sure it’ll be any day no—
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Jan 19, 2022 23:36
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Bad Purchase posted:i'm the immersion blender, just checking in to see if you need any sauces or soups smoothed out. you know you can put me right into the sauce pot on the range, right? if you're careful, this time i won't splash around and make a huge mess and burn you with boiling hot tomato sauce splatter. 
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Jan 19, 2022 23:46
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kecske posted:hello its me the Just get some cut resistant gloves. They are cheap and machine washable
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Jan 20, 2022 00:10
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It’s me, the coffee grinder that’s a pain to clean so now you buy pre-ground coffee, chillin with my homie the espresso machine that’s a pain to clean. We hope you enjoy your Community coffee made in a drip machine every morning.
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Jan 20, 2022 00:11
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my *ahem* "strawberry stem remover" gets used a little too often, if anything
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Jan 20, 2022 00:11
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Another reject niche cooking gizmo purchased from Tuesday Morning's weird appliance section being walked to the checkout so I can use it three times and discover it's easier/less cleanup to just make whatever I was making the traditional way:
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Jan 20, 2022 00:32
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*pssstt* Hey, remember me? No, you’re not hearing voices, I’m the GE Spacemaker radio you bought new and installed underneath the cabinet back in 1996. Look, I know there’s this whole “Bluetooth” and “Spotify” fad going on right about now, but when’s the last time you really immersed yourself in some music with a CD? How about the radio? There’s got to be some good stuff still on the radio, right?
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Jan 20, 2022 02:31
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LuckyCat posted:It’s me, the coffee grinder that’s a pain to clean so now you buy pre-ground coffee, chillin with my homie the espresso machine that’s a pain to clean. We hope you enjoy your Community coffee made in a drip machine every morning. I grind coffee every day and I have cleaned my coffee grinder twice, it's really not necessary numberoneposter posted:my *ahem* "strawberry stem remover" gets used a little too often, if anything Hey, I know the guy that designed that!
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Jan 20, 2022 04:08
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I'm the fancy drip coffee maker with the timer and the built in grinder that jams every time. Oh what's that? You just dissassembled me and cleaned the coffee gate? You think I work now? Lol. lmao
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Jan 20, 2022 04:12
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IM still the soda stream would you like to buy some cartridges lol. do they even make those anymore lol
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Jan 20, 2022 04:33
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I'm the dusty ultrasound water glasses and jewelry cleaner. You got me for Christmas and put me here next to the paper tower holder. I'm too big for the bathroom counter, and too full of water for the bedroom. My plug is a non-standard oval that doesn't fit any other devices. Would you like to clean your glasses? My manual is right there, in the dusty bag behind the paper towels.
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Jan 20, 2022 05:16
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Gladys, is that you? Oh, you must be one of her grandchildren. I'm the ancient electric carving knife with the frayed fabric power cord that your gran-gran used on the pot roasts she made every Sunday. Since you never make pot roast, I've begun to crave the taste of human flesh. Why don't you let my blades soak in the sudsy dishwater and forget they're there until you carelessly reach your hand in for the sponge. yes....yess....Gladys is smiling down at me from heaven.
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Jan 20, 2022 05:20
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Hey, remember that franchise you were obsessed with a few years ago? It's me, the tie-in cook book they sold to make a quick buck on a handful of overpriced recipes. You only baked a couple of them before putting me away for good. Guess the less common ingredients were too much of a pain to make a special trip to the store for. Remember that one dish from the show that became a meme? Haha, yeah, that's in here just waiting for you to make it.
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Jan 20, 2022 07:05
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Ni hao! That's what we say where I am from. It's me! Your massive wok, made of cast iron maybe! Use me for stir fry, it doesn't matter if I am rendered moot because we don't have an industrial burner setup. And don't fret! I'm sure you won't flip the food out of the pan as you try to do the cool moves from Iron Chef. You can even use the chopsticks, the cool metal ones that are fun! Did I hear you say "Goodwill?" 🎶worthless🎶
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Jan 20, 2022 08:58
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i'm glad my owner has stopped loving me, the cheese grater. good luck, mandolin slicer.
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Jan 20, 2022 09:02
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Pumpkin scraper here, how ya doin? Anyone in the mood to make a jack-o-lantern? Oh, I should wait 9-10 months? I could totally make a melon lantern, or even a zucchini lantern! Summer vegetables more like s'more vegetables! Just lemme know!
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Jan 20, 2022 12:06
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I'm your avocado slicer. I sit buried in the back of the utensil drawer because the only time you eat avocados is in guacamole and the store bought stuff has preservatives to prevent it from rotting three minutes after being made.
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Jan 20, 2022 12:40
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I'm a single corn cob holder.
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Jan 22, 2022 11:29
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:56 |
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Peggy Edson posted:I'm your avocado slicer. I sit buried in the back of the utensil drawer because the only time you eat avocados is in guacamole and the store bought stuff has preservatives to prevent it from rotting three minutes after being made. Add lime or lemon juice on the top after making it and then press plastic wrap directly onto it so air doesn't touch the gauc. It'll keep it good for at least a few days. I actually got this tip from Malory Archer. RIP content: I'm one of the incredibly large one use appliances your in laws give you every Christmas even though you live in a tiny apartment. Am I the comically large bread maker? The electric grill bigger than your counter? Or the serving set that's clearly never been bought by anyone but boomers? Thundercracker fucked around with this message at 13:55 on Jan 22, 2022 |
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Jan 22, 2022 13:52
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