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its all nice on rice
Nov 12, 2006

Sweet, Salty Goodness.



Buglord
It's called football because the players make football moves.

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Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.
They move the ball with their foot but sometimes they use their hands.

Seaniqua
Mar 12, 2004

"We'll see how the first year goes. But people better get us now, because we're going to keep getting better and better."
The team on offense is trying to reach the opposing team's end zone. If they do, they score six points. The defense is trying to stop them.

The offense gets four chances ("downs") to get at least 10 yards. "First and ten" means it's currently first down and the offense has to get 10 yards. If they get five yards, for example, the down and distance becomes "second and five", and so forth.

If the offense gets those 10 yards, they get a new first down (another first and ten). If they don't, the other team gets the ball where it lies. This is why most teams kick the ball to the other team on fourth down.

The offense, on any down, can choose to attempt a field goal. Kick the ball through the uprights, get three points.

If the offense crosses their opponents goal line, they get six points (touchdown).

After scoring a touchdown, the offense has the option to kick a special sorta field goal called a "point after touchdown", or a PAT. It's a very short field goal, and scores the offense one point.

Instead of attempting a PAT, the offense can instead choose to line up and run one more play to attempt to get into the end zone. If they do, they get two points. This is a "two point conversion".

If you get tackled in your own end zone, the other team gets 2 points.

Sorry about your lovely dad

feelix
Nov 27, 2016
THE ONLY EXERCISE I AM UNFAMILIAR WITH IS EXERCISING MY ABILITY TO MAKE A POST PEOPLE WANT TO READ
on the off chance that you're serious, just google "american football rules" and the first result is a good video. Although maybe it's only the first result when it comes to the personalized results goolge makes for me because it knows I'm cool and smart

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

The Bloop posted:

seriously though I'm surprised more nerds don't like football

It's a turn based RPG with stats and different classes and special moves and poo poo.

It's not the religion, it's the followers.

Seaniqua
Mar 12, 2004

"We'll see how the first year goes. But people better get us now, because we're going to keep getting better and better."
sometimes you'll be playing a good ol' game of gridiron football and suddenly you're driving a golf cart

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Seaniqua posted:

The team on offense is trying to reach the opposing team's end zone. If they do, they score six points. The defense is trying to stop them.

The offense gets four chances ("downs") to get at least 10 yards. "First and ten" means it's currently first down and the offense has to get 10 yards. If they get five yards, for example, the down and distance becomes "second and five", and so forth.

If the offense gets those 10 yards, they get a new first down (another first and ten). If they don't, the other team gets the ball where it lies. This is why most teams kick the ball to the other team on fourth down.

The offense, on any down, can choose to attempt a field goal. Kick the ball through the uprights, get three points.

If the offense crosses their opponents goal line, they get six points (touchdown).

After scoring a touchdown, the offense has the option to kick a special sorta field goal called a "point after touchdown", or a PAT. It's a very short field goal, and scores the offense one point.

Instead of attempting a PAT, the offense can instead choose to line up and run one more play to attempt to get into the end zone. If they do, they get two points. This is a "two point conversion".

If you get tackled in your own end zone, the other team gets 2 points.

Sorry about your lovely dad

Have you considered getting a therapist cause this is word salad.

MakaVillian
Aug 16, 2003

Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

Sid Vicious posted:

please i dont understand hand egg



+



Hope this helps Sid

Seaniqua
Mar 12, 2004

"We'll see how the first year goes. But people better get us now, because we're going to keep getting better and better."

Desert Bus posted:

Have you considered getting a therapist cause this is word salad.

This should clear things up

https://twitter.com/jon_bois/status/546531115214049280?s=21

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

oh it all makes sense now

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


MakaVillian posted:



+



Hope this helps Sid

thank you!

ArmTheHomeless
Jan 10, 2003

It's not worth explaining the rules because its boring as poo poo even if you figure it out.

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

UglyAnarchist posted:

It's not worth explaining the rules because its boring as poo poo even if you figure it out.

no

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.
hand? egg? 9th DOWN AND gently caress YOU

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

EorayMel posted:

AND DON'T FORGET THE COMMERCIALS!!!!!

prob the best part

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjL7D33xpS4&t=16s

ArmTheHomeless
Jan 10, 2003


Here is a good primer on football:
https://youtu.be/T44Sk-Vwfzk

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


UglyAnarchist posted:

Here is a good primer on football:
https://youtu.be/T44Sk-Vwfzk

will this one still take a million years for the AI to take its turn because i have two young kids

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
actually, my favorite part of football is the romance between joe "born to suck" buck and troy "awake man" aikman

it's so will they, won't they

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

kntfkr posted:

actually, my favorite part of football is the romance between joe "born to suck" buck and troy "awake man" aikman

it's so will they, won't they

LMK when they fuvk

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Sid Vicious posted:

will this one still take a million years for the AI to take its turn because i have two young kids

Siddy Baby this is only 5mins

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

Desert Bus posted:

LMK when they fuvk

they don't show it on tv :/

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.
YEAH BAY SECOND DOWN AND TEN WOO THE BAD TEAM HAS THE BALL wQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

kntfkr posted:

they don't show it on tv :/

What a dumb game I wanna see the big men bone down

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


Desert Bus posted:

What a dumb game I wanna see the big men bone down

do i have a wbsite for you!!!

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.
OK so we got men vs men (no homo? lol this is very gay) grappling to go up or down a field, the size of which makes no sense, trying to replicate classic battle positions. Is this right? Do I get American Football now?

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

Sid Vicious posted:

do i have a wbsite for you!!!

i went to a big football high school and one of our players from my graduating year became a body builder and to pay for the body building, he did gay porn and i think he only did a couple videos and his performance was loving embarrassing. like if u don't wanna be there then don't cuz you're just wasting everyone's time with this attitude

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

kntfkr posted:

i went to a big football high school and one of our players from my graduating year became a body builder and to pay for the body building, he did gay porn and i think he only did a couple videos and his performance was loving embarrassing. like if u don't wanna be there then don't cuz you're just wasting everyone's time with this attitude

You gotta handle the balls if you want to win.

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


kntfkr posted:

i went to a big football high school and one of our players from my graduating year became a body builder and to pay for the body building, he did gay porn and i think he only did a couple videos and his performance was loving embarrassing. like if u don't wanna be there then don't cuz you're just wasting everyone's time with this attitude

this probanly pissed off so many gay dudes whp just wanna whack off

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Desert Bus posted:

OK so we got men vs men (no homo? lol this is very gay) grappling to go up or down a field, the size of which makes no sense, trying to replicate classic battle positions. Is this right? Do I get American Football now?

You missed the part about the traumatic brain injuries, but that's fine because their coaches don't care either

feelix
Nov 27, 2016
THE ONLY EXERCISE I AM UNFAMILIAR WITH IS EXERCISING MY ABILITY TO MAKE A POST PEOPLE WANT TO READ

kntfkr posted:

i went to a big football high school and one of our players from my graduating year became a body builder and to pay for the body building, he did gay porn and i think he only did a couple videos and his performance was loving embarrassing. like if u don't wanna be there then don't cuz you're just wasting everyone's time with this attitude

a lot of body builders do this, steroids are expensive

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

The Bloop posted:

seriously though I'm surprised more nerds don't like football

It's a turn based RPG with stats and different classes and special moves and poo poo.

It's like Pokemon but the only moves are Tackle, Fling, Headbutt, and Sweet Kiss.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

I hear "Green 80" a lot but I've never heard the first thing about Green 1-79 so I guess I just don't know, OP.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

kntfkr posted:

i went to a big football high school and one of our players from my graduating year became a body builder and to pay for the body building, he did gay porn and i think he only did a couple videos and his performance was loving embarrassing. like if u don't wanna be there then don't cuz you're just wasting everyone's time with this attitude

They played with a big football? How much bigger was it than a regular one?

I know they do varsity and junior varsity but I didn't know high schools played big football.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

Also if you call Pizza Hut and say in the correct sequence:

quote:

Set Hut

Hut Hut

Hut Hut Hut

Settttt Hut

Hut

They have to send you a free three topping pizza every day for life.

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


check out this sweet website https://www.nfl.com

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

Sid Vicious posted:

someone explain hand egg please

The quarterback lays an egg and they must safely transport it to the hand (really just a couple metal posts) at the end.

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

check out this sweet website https://www.nfl.com

this gave me a virus, it was AIDS

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Here you go OP:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gridiron_football

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Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

sofokles posted:

apparantly crossing the line is a good thing

Tell that to the mods!

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