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Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Yaldabaoth posted:

Solution: Both Russia and America dump a bunch of nukes on Ukraine to create the lifeless no man's land that Russia so desperately wants between it and the NATO countries. Everyone wins.

Someone is forgetting the potential for a strategic cam girl shortage. Think it through before you throw nukes people!

We cannot allow a cam girl gap.

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Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


kntfkr posted:

Do you know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak.

I think it is time to put the hurt on the Ukraine.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Bad Purchase posted:

it's a good thing we have the UN to prevent this sort of bullying

I am sure there is no one on the Security Council who would veto a basic common-sense “please don’t invade other nations” resolution.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


mom and dad fight a lot posted:

I can't wait until Russian spambots start convincing half of America that Putin is cool and good and actually he should have the Ukraine, because Obama didn't do anything when this happened before, and the socialist cuck Biden should give the election back to Trump so he can make a deal with the Ukraine so they surrender peacefully.

Found one of those spambots:

https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1201674758158352385

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


lonelylikezoidberg posted:

Serious question: I would very much like people to have self-determination and would not like anyone to die in a violent conflict but I am also totally powerless.

As a poor American schmuck does Russia invading the Ukraine have any actual ramifications for my life?

There is a very small chance it could end with Russian nukes coming to a city near you. Whether they still work and detonate……well, you have a sporting chance.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


lonelylikezoidberg posted:

Is there any chance the resulting EMP blasts will cancel my crippling student loans?

No, the backups on that data are probably in hardened shelters.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Who What Now posted:

Hold on, how does Russia subsuming Ukraine lead to nuking Idaho?

Escalation and brinksmanship and a lonely base commander decides that the enemy is contaminating his precious bodily fluids.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


ChunTheUnavoidable posted:

we should pool our money and go to ukraine to sort this out

I assume by that you mean donate the money to Ukraine’s Eurovision team so that their song is so sweet it melts Putin’s black heart and peace will reign?

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Who What Now posted:

Just learn to live with the fact that your life could end with being vaporized in nuclear hellfire in the blink of an eye at any moment and there's nothing you can do to stop it. I did and look how happy I am!

Learn to love the bomb.

https://twitter.com/DPRK_News/status/1483932177192603649

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1483933560251850755

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


hell astro course posted:

why don't they just vote and see if they want to join russia or not? seems easier to do it that way.

The tried and true Hitler approach where you just start rigging the vote and annexing everything based on that vote.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Killed a Girl in 96 posted:

this whole thing could be avoided if someone went over there and kicked putin's rear end on live television.

Is Rand Paul’s neighbor looking for a new challenge?

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Jonny Nox posted:

Does Russia have a meaningful Navy? I thought a crane fell on it in dry dock.


Then the crane sunk.

Yes, it can’t match the US strength especially if combined with NATO. I haven’t followed developments in submarine tech but in the case of a shooting war with NATO they would probably be used to interdict shipping and, if the war escalates enough, use cruise missiles against targets in Europe and the United States. And the subs with the nukes try to get into position to nuke stuff. It is an open question how well maintained the navy is. Most likely it is in better shape than it was a decade ago.

Then again I have only read up minimally on Soviet naval strategy in the last decade. Maybe their general plans have changed.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Who What Now posted:

Does the navy even matter in that case? Surely Russia has plenty of bombers with an operational range that encompasses all of those areas, right?

Ships can stay on station while bombers have a short time in theater. I know Russia was working on building up their force of small ships designed for anti-air work but not sure how far they have gotten. NATO also has planes that can get to that area and intercept those bombers.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Sentinel posted:

Ah yes every Risk players gateway to the west

It is a dead end. You can never hold on to all of Asia.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


ChunTheUnavoidable posted:

I dont like Joe biden but I got to admit I am liking how completely tuned out he is from geopolitical shenanigans. Guy is doing gently caress all

He is working with people to counter Putin. I think the rhetoric from his administration is a little too fiery on Ukraine but I think this is more to convince Putin to back off then a real willingness to start shooting which might be the right stance to take. Biden isn’t as smart as Obama in an academic sense but he is wilier and knows better how to manipulate people. Obama’s biggest problem was his naïveté.

Biden is also not getting laughed at by other democracies nor is he fellating autocrats and that makes me feel better.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


vandalism posted:

What will happen to the Fabergé eggs? And nesting dolls?

We can have special forces evacuate them with the cam models.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


ChunTheUnavoidable posted:

calling it a terrorist attack is laughable lol

Lots of terrorist attacks to overthrow governments are laughable. So was Hitler’s putsch. It wasn’t so funny later and it was still terrorism.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Sophy Wackles posted:

Is this a quote from the Biden administration? Source your quotes.

I’m a little more pro-Biden than most goons. Not a fanboy but I sometimes like his deviousness.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Shinjobi posted:

if russia tries to invade ukraine, ukraine should firmly tell them no and to stop

As a sovereign nation of the land I think Ukraine just has to give the Russian military a direct order to back off. If they proceed anyways just yell “I do not consent” repeatedly until they stop.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


dk2m posted:

Let's catch up with the latest in our WILL RUSSIA INVADE UKRAINE AGAIN???question

1) The ball is currently in our court! Lavrov, after meeting Sec. State Blinken yesterday, put forth the first positive signals in this whole lovely saga by icing threats of just steamrolling Ukraine in the next 2 hours. We (the US anyway) get 1 week to respond to Russias demands, which as expected, seem to just use Ukraine as a hostage with a gun pointed directrly at its temple.

https://www.euronews.com/2022/01/21/blinken-and-lavrov-convene-in-geneva-over-ukraine-crisis-for-second-round-of-talks

Will we somehow gently caress this up? Probably - theres really no great winning move here - if we hard line this, well holy poo poo this might turn into a shooting war. If we concede some things - it might keeps the peace but will erode trust with Western allies and Ukraine will probably be really pissed off

2) The german naval chief was caught on a potential hot mic in Delhi saying that maybe we should just let Putin posture, and avoid a shooting war.

https://www.wionews.com/india-news/...stern%20Europe.

This has...rankled people to say nothing less. Germany has been, so far, constantly calling for cooler heads to prevail and has refused to send arms to Ukraine, while the US/UK and Baltic states have been consistently sending "lethal aid" to Ukraine in the past week

So if you're pro-war, Germany is playing the role of Neville Chamberlain. If you're anti-war, Germany might be saving us from a potential shooting war that spirals into nuclear holocaust

3) Even if a shooting war does happen, Ukraine is turbo-hosed so they will fold in days, if not hours. Entire military budged is someting like 800million while Russia's is 60billion +

https://twitter.com/MSnegovaya/status/1484588221078061056?s=20

And thats the recap, thanks for joining, go enjoy your saturday and pray to god that our leaders are competent (hint: they aren't)

A little misleading since Russia can’t deploy their full military. They also still have forces tied up “peacekeeping” in Kazakhstan. All that being said if Russia does invade and the West doesn’t help they are toast. Until the insurgencies start anyways.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


I say we wheel in Dr. Strangelove and get this party started.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Grape posted:

And then those teens get hosed by other soldiers in the barracks.

Do the Russians have a foreign legion? Asking for myself.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


steinrokkan posted:

By hosed they mean driven to suicide by the constant and encouraged bullying, torture and rape of new recruits.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dedovshchina

Please don’t kinkshame.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


ChubbyChecker posted:

they used to have nukes, but they gave them up because the us and russia promised to not invade lol

The weapons Ukraine had were all long-range with a high minimum and were of questionable deterrent value against Russia. If I remember right if they had kept the weapons they got when the USSR collapsed and the Russians attacked the Ukrainians would have been able to target Vladivostok and other targets in the Far East.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Cugel the Clever posted:

So with the West apparently determined to start a war with Russia, I think it's time we have a discussion about how Russia might best defend itself. If you were Vladimir Putin, how would you go about protecting democracy and left-wing thought from the neo-Nazi hordes invading from the West?

Make a secret non-aggression pact with Poland to split Ukraine with them and then invade.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Rutibex posted:

im sure you could just take the warhead off and drop it from a plane

You could (it would take some work) but that makes the attack easier to intercept.

In any case it would have probably taken a year or more for the Ukrainians to retrofit the warheads and/or the missiles to work for them. It might have just meant the Russians would have invaded years ago instead with more global approval for dealing with this ‘rogue nuclear state’.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Grammarchist posted:

Watch Hungary invade Ukraine instead to shore up Orban's rule ahead of the elections and recover territory lost under Trianon. Hell, I actually wouldn't be that surprised if he finally broke with the EU and NATO to live his dream of an alliance with Putin to make gay and brown people illegal.

And Tucker Carlson will explain how this is a good thing and Russian interests are actually American interests.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


THS2 posted:

Russia probably won't do that, and also, there's only one country I can think of that has a record of invading and occupying sovereign countries.

Does the Crimea not count for some reason?

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


THS2 posted:

you only want to view this in a vacuum where the United States is not the single most militarily aggressive monster in the eyes of the world.

So they are somehow scaring the poor Russians into thinking they are getting invaded next? Did they dismantle all their ICBMs?

This is brinksmanship with both sides asserting power and wanting to ideologically influence another nation. The conflict is an existential threat to neither.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


THS2 posted:

It does, but I don't think it's America's problem. Why are we managing the issues of eastern europe, anyway?

Because the NATO alliance has led to Europe largely disarming and Europe under Russian hegemony is much worse than Europe under US hegemony.

Ideally I would like to see US hegemony slowly and methodically die down so the various regional actors have time to compensate. Noping out to sudden isolationism would be dangerous.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Klyith posted:

well I accepted the fact that Trump was elected president here despite being a Russian-backed candidate

Putin can accept that people in the Ukraine voted for a pro-US president there

:hai:

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Grammarchist posted:

Lol that Biden is just kinda saying, "Something might happen, whatever. Try to keep it down guys. Here's some guns or some poo poo, Ukraine. Goin' to bed."

The US and Germany are playing “good cop, irritable bored cop”.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


THS2 posted:

why are we doing this? why are we trying to instigate a war? This is insane.

If the US and Russia and China cooperated, imagine what they could do in space or beyond. The single thing every American must do is to reject a conflict with China and Russia. This isn't a zero-sum game. We literally have to cooperate with these powers so Elon Musk or some poo poo doesn't privatize space and make NFT asteroids.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niZpcdp2v34

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


THS2 posted:

if it's between American privatization and Chinese nationalism, I know what I'd rather have for Space

https://twitter.com/DPRK_News/status/1485003323874988043

:gop:

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


THS2 posted:

to My Death i will do whatever it takes to stop this insane war between Russia and the United States

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y7-W5eUF9Q

And in this life and death struggle to prevent WW3 and save the planet you have decided to stop this insanity by taking to the field in a dead gay comedy forum to convince a bunch of dead gay people to call off the conflict even though none of them are making any of the decisions you are decrying. I don’t think Sun Tzu would be impressed with your overall strategy.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


THS2 posted:

Russia is seeking peace and you are all getting insanely horny over killing everyone

https://youtu.be/Rj_pS8du9R8?t=147

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


THS2 posted:

shut the gently caress up. i'm single handedly trying to keep the US from launching a loving war. and the least you could do is support that.

gently caress it, you win.

I will call Biden and tell him we have decided to call off the war.

:phoneb::phoneline::phone:

That was rude. He says you are a Russian asset on 37 government watchlists and that he is going to wipe out the last bastion of freedom on Earth, Moscow, and usher in a 1000 year reign of Arachno-Bidenism.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


BRICKFACE posted:

more about this pls

Arachno-Bidenism according to the great minds of Reddit:

“He [Biden] knows that to overthrow the rich, we need to kill all non-black spiders, because they eat the grain. This is where the commonly misunderstood phrase "If you don't vote for me, then you ain't black" comes in. While most humans interpreted this as him saying that African-American Trump voters were race traitors, the real message was a threat to the spider community.”

“The true goal of the far left antifa invaders, to kill our american made spiders and replace them with communist anarchist antifa spiders!”

I assume that there are also communist anarchist Antifa super-spiders that will serve as mounts for the Antifa supersoldiers when we invade Moscow. None of those spiders will be black of course.

Xenocides fucked around with this message at 06:25 on Jan 24, 2022

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Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Weka posted:

What is worse than starving 100,000 children to death?

Your posting.

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