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How Wonderful!


I only have excellent ideas

Here is the thread to confess lies. Lies-- we've all done 'em, by mistake or on purpose, with malice in our hearts or just for fun. But today we have a thread to confess 'em and wipe the slate clean. Post ITT to confess your lies before the public and feel the weight of your crimes fall away.

1.) When I was in college I told everyone that I had gone to summer camp with the famous cartoonist K.C. Green. I thought this was true-- but it was a lie. I eventually found out that I actually went to regular summer camp with somebody else, named Casey Green, who never became a cartoonist. It was a "fool's lie," made out of ignorance. I confess my lie.

2.) Earlier this week on the phone with my mom I told her that I had made vegan nachos. This was a lie. I made vegetarian nachos. I only wanted my mom to think I was cool. I confess my lie, this time too.

3.) In college I told my friends that I was the first baby ever born. I told them that my genitals were a hologram, and not to worry about them. This was a lie of drugs. I confess my lie.

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Macnult


someone asked me how i was doing and i said i was doing well but really i was just doing okay

Macnult


"we don't have coke. is pepsi alright?"
absolutely.

i don't even like drinking soda to begin with i could have just ordered water

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




once i told a woman it was really hard but i had to break up with her. it wasn't hard, we had just gotten to the deadline in my head where if feelings hadn't developed for her i needed to cut things off for her sake. i kind of feel bad about this one.

there was a period when i was younger and my mental health was not in a good state where i stopped attending university, but pretended i was still going. this lasted for maybe two months and i course corrected but for a while i was leaving my home and just sleeping in my car. again, feel kinda bad about this one.

but confession is good for the soul!

i'm so much lighter now, WOW


tyvm psp ilu

biosterous




i lied to someone that it wasn't gonna be a forever breakup i just needed some time but i had no intention to continue the relationship. i did this because i did not want to be the bad guy by breaking up with her when she did not want that. it really hosed up her whole year. i confess this lie.

one of my big big regrets :smith:

e: on a lighter note i'm so used to using the unsmith smilie that i typed that instinctively and then had to panic-quick edit the post so i wasn't smiling at a lovely thing i did lol


https://i.imgur.com/iYIHffb.mp4
thank you pot smoke phoenix for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs


he/him or they/them, either works

Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns




when i said i had misread the title of the 'what would rupert the bear do with an urumi' thread, I lied. I knew exactly what thread i was posting in



ty nut for this wonderful sig!


frump truck

hello... again!



one time a person in a sandwich shop asked if i wanted peppers on my sandwich. i did not want peppers on my sandwich but i said "yes" because i did not want to be disagreeable. i confess this.

nut



I ainít never not done didnít but I have also never done did not done do

Doctor Dogballs

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station



nut posted:

I ainít never not done didnít but I have also never done did not done do

same but actually even more so

----------------
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HopefulSophisticatedIndianrhinoceros-mobile.webm
"The Bad Boy of Comics"

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.




Sometimes I say "thank you" when I'm not all that thankful and also "you're welcome" when they're not very welcome

google THIS



Sometimes I say "no problem" but it actually was a mild imposition

google THIS



Sometimes I reply "On my way" or "working on it" to imply that the thing being discussed was already in progress when, in fact, I was sitting on my rear end doing nothing until their text reminded me

Twenty Four




google THIS posted:

Sometimes I reply "On my way" or "working on it" to imply that the thing being discussed was already in progress when, in fact, I was sitting on my rear end doing nothing until their text reminded me

I think this rates right behind "breathing" on the list of "things that people do"

biosterous




yesterday: i told my boss i had just woken up when i reality when i saw his text i decided to go back to bed and deal with it later

a much happier lie


https://i.imgur.com/iYIHffb.mp4
thank you pot smoke phoenix for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs


he/him or they/them, either works

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

at age six I stole a classmates tiny sewing scissors while she wasn't looking. I later stroked them and thought of her. young crushes can get weird that's my story ok don't expect more of these


lovely spring sig by Kaiser Schnitzel himself

kalel



Macnult posted:

someone asked me how i was doing and i said i was doing well but really i was just doing okay

I really feel this one

kalel



I told my friend his dog is the cutest dog ever... but his dog is not in fact the cutest dog ever. it's my dog. My dog is the cutest dog ever

David Pratt


I used to tell my colleagues i had a cold but i was actually depressed now i just tell them I'm depressed. I guess that's progress!

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.




I didn't actually fart, I was going to fart, but I didn't, so I claimed another's fart. Stolen fart valor

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

I rlly want to post ITT but I've never told a lie so I can't

How Wonderful!


I only have excellent ideas

IMO you should return those scissors, and feel peace




-sig by Kaiser Schnitzel! goblin by Khanstant! News by deep dish peat moss!

your friend sk

(ヤイケス!)




in fifth grade i was in an after school drama class. we found out we would have to memorize a script, but i never memorized it. the last week, i told my mom we didn't have a class that week and just left everyone else out to dry. i've felt bad about it for 20 years now. i confess my lie

https://gfycat.com/delightfuluglydegu.webm

thank you fisto and psp!!


thanks to lord ddfg for making me mayor for life of quincyville!


Add to your sig if you're a proud supporter of Local 69!
Check out my Retired Sig Parade!

Nosfereefer



literally every post i make is a lie

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Prof. Crocodile




GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

I didn't actually fart, I was going to fart, but I didn't, so I claimed another's fart. Stolen fart valor

:mods:


thank you kaiser schnitzel for this seasonal sig!

Prof. Crocodile




once I faked the funk on a nasty dunk. i canít change the past, and im certainly not expecting anyone to forgive me, but I just want to get on with my life.


thank you kaiser schnitzel for this seasonal sig!

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

Prof. Crocodile posted:

once I faked the funk on a nasty dunk. i can’t change the past, and im certainly not expecting anyone to forgive me, but I just want to get on with my life.

Kazinsal




Prof. Crocodile posted:

once I faked the funk on a nasty dunk. i canít change the past, and im certainly not expecting anyone to forgive me, but I just want to get on with my life.

in the name of the funker, the slam, and the holy roast, I absolve you of your sins. amen

Dr. Honked

toilet duck

i've always had an extremely bad phobia about telling lies. one time, many years ago, i was working at a really lovely abusive place. there was a day when i really really really could not face going in.

i thought about taking the day off sick, but i wasn't sick*. so i couldn't call in and give the excuse that i was sick. so what i did was, i filled a glass with water, and placed in on my kitchen floor. i called in to work and told them that i couldn't come in to work that day because there was two inches of water on my kitchen floor, and i had to deal with it. i might be in later if i can get it sorted by lunchtime.

i left it on the kitchen floor all day.

* i was sick but didn't realise it. this was during the 20th century when mental illness wasn't recognised as an illness

biosterous




Dr. Honked posted:

i've always had an extremely bad phobia about telling lies. one time, many years ago, i was working at a really lovely abusive place. there was a day when i really really really could not face going in.

i thought about taking the day off sick, but i wasn't sick*. so i couldn't call in and give the excuse that i was sick. so what i did was, i filled a glass with water, and placed in on my kitchen floor. i called in to work and told them that i couldn't come in to work that day because there was two inches of water on my kitchen floor, and i had to deal with it. i might be in later if i can get it sorted by lunchtime.

i left it on the kitchen floor all day.

* i was sick but didn't realise it. this was during the 20th century when mental illness wasn't recognised as an illness


https://i.imgur.com/iYIHffb.mp4
thank you pot smoke phoenix for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs


he/him or they/them, either works

Enfys

Beauty is in the eye of the beeholder

I told my dog I was going to make a nice fur coat out of her if she licked my face again when I was trying to nap on the couch, but actually I just mooshed her head against mine and scritched her ears.

Finger Prince

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



"Don't worry about it, it's fine!"

It was not fine.

Enfys

Beauty is in the eye of the beeholder

I sign work emails with "Kind regards" when my regards are not kind at all

Popputan

Mahou Shoujo brainrot syndrome. It's terminal.


i am a Top Elite Gamer in quake iii arena makin' frags left and right and also a trillion billionaire


that's actually the lie I just told it here the doctors put something in my meds to prevent me from Gaming too hard so it is actually completely impossible. When they see this post and sue me for public defamation i hit 'em with the public defecation in the courtroom gets them every time

sephiRoth IRA

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan


Enfys posted:

I sign work emails with "Kind regards" when my regards are not kind at all

google THIS



One time someone asked me to confess a lie and I made up a lie to confess

Popputan

Mahou Shoujo brainrot syndrome. It's terminal.


google THIS posted:

One time someone asked me to confess a lie and I made up a lie to confess
wouldnt that be being truthful by fulfilling a request honestly and earnestly? Liar,

Viginti Septem

revertere ad avem tribuum

Edward Fingerhands

PHANTOM QUEEN




I told everyone I'm actually a big scary mean bitch but it turns out I'm actually soft like a kitten made of pudding.

Twenty Four




Finger Prince posted:

"Don't worry about it, it's fine!"

It was not fine.

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How Wonderful!


I only have excellent ideas

Cardi BYOB posted:

I told everyone I'm actually a big scary mean bitch but it turns out I'm actually soft like a kitten made of pudding.

I'm the opposite, everyone in BYOB thinks I'm nice but actually whenever I see a post anywhere I get so mad that I kick my monitor into pieces, then I have to run out and rob some sucker's house to get a new one.




-sig by Kaiser Schnitzel! goblin by Khanstant! News by deep dish peat moss!

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