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I'd try to do something rad but then I'd just give up when no one immediately congratulates me for it People in airports are jumpy
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:39 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 12:21 |
Offer to sketch the passenger next to me but refuse to let them see it until I am finished. When it's done, they see that I have drawn them as a fat-headed caricature driving a dune buggy. "Everybody loves dune buggies!" I say. "Like that Simpsons episode, you know? The one where the celebrity can only draw caricatures of people driving dune buggies?" And then I start talking about The Simpsons for the next two hours.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:59 |
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Cream-of-Plenty posted:Offer to sketch the passenger next to me but refuse to let them see it until I am finished. When it's done, they see that I have drawn them as a fat-headed caricature driving a dune buggy. "Everybody loves dune buggies!" I say. "Like that Simpsons episode, you know? The one where the celebrity can only draw caricatures of people driving dune buggies?" And then I start talking about The Simpsons for the next two hours. Stop stalking me and posting it on these forums.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 07:56 |
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bunnyofdoom posted:Find the bar and drink Prices aside, I love the airport bar. Its good people watching. Or I look out the window and watch the cool planes and vehicles go by
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 08:05 |
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Breathe in that sweet kerosene fuel smell off the tarmac Smells like adventure e: don;t do this bfore they openthe gates to ur plane or you will have a nogood bad time
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 09:17 |
pretend like i'm not a tourist even though that's kinda the point and then getting belligerent with anyone who cuts through my false bravado and ending up on tiktok and a government blacklist
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 09:34 |
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if you're at an airport with chairs that have all those mini holes in them: bring a bag of uncooked spaghetti, toss it in as high as you can in the air and see how many spaghetti's fall in the chair holes i do this every time i'm waiting for a flight and everybody likes it and lets me board first (even got an hj from a flight attendant once )
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 09:45 |
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ChunTheUnavoidable posted:buy one John grisham book, one newspaper, two granola bars and two bottles of water. That’ll be $900 please
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 10:01 |
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numberoneposter posted:miss your flight out of bangkok by 12 hours because you thought 01:20 meant 1:20 PM Occasionally it's worth losing your customer service job in exchange for braying a great big horse laugh in someone's face
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:16 |
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Watch in horror while trying to board your flight to LA while the airport stewardess pleads with someone to check luggage while everyone refuses and you realize there are literally 30 "service" dogs in coach.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:34 |
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bring your collection of live crabs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmo6_hDyLh0
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 13:36 |
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poor crabs
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 14:02 |
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read a Chinese zhiguai story recently that explained crabs are the reincarnations of the absolute worst people because they are fated to be boiled alive, so I dont feel sorry for them. They were probably insanely evil in their previous life
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 14:11 |
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Ask people where the Pan Am terminal is. Bring a skateboard and challenge the airport cops on segways to race. Leave.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 14:24 |
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Demand to speak to the manager to renounce your citizenship and become a sovereign citizen.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 15:54 |
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ChunTheUnavoidable posted:read a Chinese zhiguai story recently that explained crabs are the reincarnations of the absolute worst people because they are fated to be boiled alive, so I dont feel sorry for them. They were probably insanely evil in their previous life What an incredibly myopic take that most crabs are ever going to encounter a human a single time let along be boiled by one.. i say casually to the child playing pokemon behind me in line
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 16:03 |
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After you’ve made some cash in the men’s room, head to the raw bar and eat as much caviar and vodka as you can. When you run out of money, go back to with in the men’s room. When you make another stack, go back to the caviar. Keep going back and forth during your layover. Also, don’t worry about all the jizz you swallow accidentally fertilizing some of the caviar in your belly. The vodka will neutralize everything.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 16:12 |
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sit at empty terminal with the fewest screens and read my book
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 16:13 |
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:After you’ve made some cash in the men’s room, head to the raw bar and eat as much caviar and vodka as you can. Wait... what if there was no vodka and the caviar got fertilized in his stomach, and the guy gives birth to a murderous sturgeon-human monster? Did I just write the premise for the next great horror movie????
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 16:40 |
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Have a beer at the airport bar at 11am. Laugh and say “Hey, when on vacation, right?” Try not to think about how you’d be probably be drinking right now even if you weren’t on vacation. Try not to think about how the left side of your body feels tingly nearly every day. Try not to think about the look of crushing sadness your wife gave you when you said you were going to take a walk around the terminal, because she knew with absolute certainty that you were going to end up at the bar. Order another drink.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 16:50 |
Break out my 17" 10.25 lb Alienware laptop and set it on my tray; I cannot fully open it up. Launch Together BnB on max settings. The fans scream. I spend 35 minutes spying on the various female NPCs and pointing a gun at them when they aren't looking--then the laptop battery dies. I turn to the passenger next to me and say, "great game."
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 17:09 |
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Cream-of-Plenty posted:Break out my 17" 10.25 lb Alienware laptop and set it on my tray; I cannot fully open it up. Launch Together BnB on max settings. The fans scream. I spend 35 minutes spying on the various female NPCs and pointing a gun at them when they aren't looking--then the laptop battery dies. I turn to the passenger next to me and say, "great game." Just read the summary and it’s so funny to me that this sex video game has a main storyline where you’re looking for clues about your missing landlord brother
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 17:11 |
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Sit in a fun airport chair! They have a plugin right there next to you- not like at home!
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 17:47 |
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find someone who will take those little paper bags they give you on the plane to poop into and dispose of it properly
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 18:16 |
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:Have a beer at the airport bar at 11am. Laugh and say “Hey, when on vacation, right?” Try not to think about how you’d be probably be drinking right now even if you weren’t on vacation. Try not to think about how the left side of your body feels tingly nearly every day. Try not to think about the look of crushing sadness your wife gave you when you said you were going to take a walk around the terminal, because she knew with absolute certainty that you were going to end up at the bar. Just doing ok married millennial living with his wife in the city things
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 18:21 |
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i remember i was flying out of my home airport and they have a restaurant called "white spot" with good burgs and beer and i ordered a swiss mushroom burger and asked for extra pickles on the side and i hear from the kitchen, "HE WANTS EXTRA PICKLES ON THE SIDE? gently caress!!!!" lmao the burger was really good though and i got 1 extra lengthwise pickle
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 18:34 |
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ngl one of the best cobb salads ive ever had was at an airport sports bar mainbly because it had an ungodly amount of bacon and bleu cheese on that bad boy
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 18:37 |
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one of the moments when I knew I really needed to stop drinking was when I was eating breakfast at an airport rock n brews and was just gruesomely hung over eating a soggy hamburger and drinking beer, and then the music video for hoobastank - the reason came on the TVs and was playing at me from literally every direction I turned. It was a taste of hell
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 18:44 |
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Keep sucking random cocks in the restroom until you’ve checked off every country on the game board.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 18:50 |
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Eat a weed edible before your flight to calm your nerves, then have several panic attacks while waiting to board your flight, because it turns out that being stupid high in a very loud and chaotic public place doesn’t really work for you. Have one of your friends jokingly whisper “Dude everyone knows you’re high right now haha.”
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:03 |
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top three results on google 🇺🇸
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:11 |
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My emotional support skeleton is safe
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:12 |
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you can also bring real skeleton bones through a TSA checkpoint but only inside of you
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:13 |
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Leaving my carry-on zipper open just enough that my seat mate can see the bone inside.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:14 |
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Bags Fly at Noon posted:Leaving my carry-on zipper open just enough that my seat mate can see the bone inside. this is okay as long and you offer a baby wipe after. please remember to check your hatchets
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:15 |
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naem posted:you can also bring real skeleton bones through a TSA checkpoint but only inside of you that would be funny if someone got stopped for having bones
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:16 |
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ah, time to pop by Hudson News for the latest issue of the Economist, then to find the nice sushi place to enjoy some fatty tuna with a couple gin and tonics before my flight to Shangri-La departs
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:16 |
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Hey actually how long could you technically stay in an airport Yeah yeah I know that movie but seriously, if you legit got a ticket somewhere, got in, but then just kicked it between terminals and slept in places, would security catch on and kick you out or what
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:20 |
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live there for 30 years under a fake name while my brain tumor goes untreated
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:35 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 12:21 |
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Floodixor posted:Hey actually how long could you technically stay in an airport https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_who_have_lived_in_airports
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:36 |