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I am sorely tempted to get you a Civil War style writing set.
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Aug 5, 2022 15:13
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McNally posted:I am sorely tempted to get you a Civil War style writing set. When I went away for school, I was sure to take parchment and a dip pen with an umberish ink, and wrote my wife a very ACW style letter for fun. I have a travel writing set I put together- a little wooden box with all the stuff needed to write and send letters, including sealing wax, bone folders (real bone was cheaper than plastic!), all that poo poo. Still haven't used it. It sits in its designated bag in the corner. Lol I also like Letter Locking, which is how we secured writing before the extravagance of envelopes. Check is out on YT if you get a chance. Lol
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Aug 5, 2022 15:28
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Aug 5, 2022 22:51
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Aug 6, 2022 20:59
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Out of curiosity Bulletsponge, did you ever read the book Poilu: The World War I Notebooks of Corporal Louis Barthas, Barrelmaker, 1914-1918? If you haven't, I suspect it would be something you'd be able to connect with on a deep down level.
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Aug 16, 2022 19:20
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SerthVarnee posted:Out of curiosity Bulletsponge, did you ever read the book Poilu: The World War I Notebooks of Corporal Louis Barthas, Barrelmaker, 1914-1918? Funny, he was just recommended (not for the first time) last week. This is the sign that I'll have to add it to my list.
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Aug 16, 2022 20:57
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I've been reading through it the last few days (Think this is the 4th time I consume that book and end up wishing his writing went on forever). As I read some of his more "wtf were they thinking" journal entries, it dawned on me that I simply need a book like this containing all of your recollections. Considering his book ended up being praised nearly unanimously by civilians who lived through the first world war, war veterans, historians, politicians and book critics (there were a few dissenters among officer-worshiping historians and opinion-havers) this should be considered very high praise indeed.
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Aug 16, 2022 21:10
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Make a book. Edit: gently caress, I'll help fund it.
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Aug 16, 2022 23:16
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Somewhat relevant: Recently I was looking into (free) software for making a photobook. I know Lightroom had cool some plug-ins but I recently switched to Capture One which... that's a different thread. Anyway, I found a program from blurb.com called BookWright. I can't really comment on it as I am still learning it and really haven't done much with it lately. I know you can make a .pdf version but not for free. I think you can do a free .pdf but it has a watermark, not 100% on that. There are options for getting the book printed (and I think that ends up giving you a .pdf version, if you buy a physical copy). Just an idea that might be worth looking into. Another option could be making it in Word and converting to .pdf and getting some of the other book printing websites to make it. Might be easier this way if your MS Word is strong. If you're interested I can look around for some more options. If not it's cool too.
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Aug 16, 2022 23:44
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Blurb is what I used to make the GiP dickbook so it's very much a viable route. It's simple enough to use and there's a bunch of fancy stuff you could do beyond the scope of just slapping an image to a page and resizing it.
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Aug 17, 2022 04:45
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Wrong Theory posted:Somewhat relevant: Recently I was looking into (free) software for making a photobook. I know Lightroom had cool some plug-ins but I recently switched to Capture One which... that's a different thread. Anyway, I found a program from blurb.com called BookWright. I can't really comment on it as I am still learning it and really haven't done much with it lately. I know you can make a .pdf version but not for free. I think you can do a free .pdf but it has a watermark, not 100% on that. There are options for getting the book printed (and I think that ends up giving you a .pdf version, if you buy a physical copy). Just an idea that might be worth looking into. I don't expect anyone to do homework, and would never ask you do anything, but any information shared is greatly appreciated. SerthVarnee posted:I've been reading through it the last few days (Think this is the 4th time I consume that book and end up wishing his writing went on forever). As I read some of his more "wtf were they thinking" journal entries, it dawned on me that I simply need a book like this containing all of your recollections. Ok, are you reading my PMs? Another Goon said the same thing. I take it as high praise, having only read shared excerpts. Therapy is helping wrap my brain around some of the mess around the idea of self, sharing, ego, and the whole related mess, because it still feels...odd. The idea of publishing is getting slightly more serious in my head.       
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Aug 17, 2022 06:52
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Hotel Kpro posted:Blurb is what I used to make the GiP dickbook so it's very much a viable route. It's simple enough to use and there's a bunch of fancy stuff you could do beyond the scope of just slapping an image to a page and resizing it. I’ve used Blurb to make two books before; will recommend it.
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Aug 17, 2022 06:55
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blue-black supremacy
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Aug 17, 2022 08:07
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Partners in Stupidity really does roll off the tongue well.
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Aug 17, 2022 14:00
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Pikehead posted:Partners in Stupidity really does roll off the tongue well. I have no other way to describe it. He was the next newest guy, and was one of our first replacements. Dude came into a unit where he knew that his assigned platoon got hosed up- 15 guys, 4 PH (more in a few weeks), 1 SS, and enough Bronze Stars for a Constellation, plus random assortment of other garbage. I made sure he was welcome, and we became very fast friends. I actually was discussing this mission with him to hash out a detail or two I couldn't remember (GZ/BIAP) and it's like we just got off work again, and are drive by farting each other's rooms. He's also a nice grounding and reminder of that time. "I didn't get a loving coin!" "So I guess you didn't get the 3 day pass, either?" "Oh, gently caress off." We were chatting about my Squadleader (whose team I was assigned to for most of my time there) and how he kinda dropped the ball on my knee. "It's not like you complained about it. Just on runs, like everyone." E: Wasabi the J posted:blue-black supremacy I'll be switching inks for fun for the next piece. You will be happy. bulletsponge13 fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Aug 17, 2022 |
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Aug 17, 2022 14:50
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E- Warning, kinda sad and heavy. Well, maybe it's just heavy to me today.   
bulletsponge13 fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Aug 18, 2022 |
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Aug 17, 2022 21:35
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Dude. Publish. "The fumbling attempts of a clumsy cook to mimic a favorite forgotten recipe." "...a topography of heartbreak." That one literally had me tearing up reading it to my wife. You've got something special here that obviously resonates with people.
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Aug 18, 2022 01:52
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Same here, well minus the having a wife part, it just forced back up memories long processed, analyzed and reburied. Not to taunt me, just to point them out to me, to remind me how far I've gotten, how much I've grown. I know I keep saying this, but thank you for writing this my friend.
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Aug 18, 2022 05:57
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That was not something I expected to have this effect on me.
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Aug 18, 2022 16:35
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Holy poo poo, this is helping me process, even thirty years later.
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Aug 18, 2022 19:46
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Next time you have this internal conversation with yourself: "IT ALL HAS TO HAVE BEEN WORTH IT IT ALL HAS TO HAVE MEANT SOMETHING." Do yourself a favor and scroll through the replies you've gotten throughout this whole thread. From where I'm sitting, it certainly looks like you're on the path to making it truly mean something. You are helping veterans who have been out for as much as 30 loving years deal with their poo poo. You are helping civilians finally "get" their dad's issues. You are helping people realize that they aren't the only ones dealing with a some super unique bullshit situation that only they can understand. I don't know if it makes it worth the sacrifices you made and the price you paid. But it truly did mean something by giving you the ability to help others.
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Aug 18, 2022 20:48
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That last piece just dicked me headspace up a bit. This will probably come out later in some sort of writing, but, I've never grieved a single loss. I've lost just about everything in my life at some point, including my first wife and the Army the same weekend. Just never got around to learning how, I guess, and never saw much use in it- nothing to learn from it, no skill or attribute to be practical. I certainly never grieved that beautiful little part of me that died writhing invisible, because I never realized how profound it was to me. That it hurt me. My first wife had been my best friend since freshman year wrote a very angry letter to the VA that ended up in my record that I wasn't supposed to see. In it, she lamented that I wasn't the same. Not just addict angry and lashing out, but that something was gone she couldn't place. I think that's what it was, and I think that's why it hurt her so much. What I had was uneven, so was sometimes a painful reminder of what she lost. My therapist will be kinda excited- she likes it when there is a real raw spot, and this doesn't feel just raw, but like a wound hidden by equipment. Because while I've made an attempt to explain it to my current wife, I've never looked at it. This is like learning an old valued friend just died in the dumb and heinous way of youth. I love you guys. I'm thankful it's helping you guys- that's more meaningful than just about anything I can think of. Therapist is trying to teach me "No, being honest about your accomplishments isn't seeking attention. Being proud of what you've done isn't ego surfing. There is a difference between a normal sense of self esteem and narcissism. You just have to learn the other end of the spectrum." Seriously, thanks guys.
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Aug 19, 2022 02:57
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Maybe you see yourself as the kid trying to copy Wilde still, but that kids lived a life and now knows more clearly the weight those sentiments can have, so you can now more effectively wield these words.
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Aug 19, 2022 07:23
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bulletsponge13 posted:Therapist is trying to teach me "No, being honest about your accomplishments isn't seeking attention. Being proud of what you've done isn't ego surfing. There is a difference between a normal sense of self esteem and narcissism. You just have to learn the other end of the spectrum." Look at it this way. If someone spends most of their deployment behind the wire, goes into one day of light combat and then comes home full of war stories they've heard, then that is where you could accurately describe it as an ego thing or bragging (I included a single day of light combat to at least remove them from the stolen valor thing). Once you spend YEARS living and breathing in a situation that most other people would need a psychologist for after experiencing an hour of, you are no longer ego tripping, you are giving an experienced account of a life that can only be written down by those who have been through it. That's not narcissism, that's a skilled craftsman writing down the less glamorous details of his trade.
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Aug 19, 2022 07:32
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I spent six out of my ten years in some kind of operational deployment, whether it was in Honduras, Panama, Kuwait, Somalia, or on so many loving MTT rotations. It absolutely burns away at you, this disconnected feeling of whether you're actually doing something good and useful or whether you're just taking up space. It's a very military version of imposter syndrome and, like most of the poo poo we experience, you just don't leave it behind when you ETS. It lingers and you spend the rest of your life trying to deal with it. someone doing hero's work posted:"No, being honest about your accomplishments isn't seeking attention. Being proud of what you've done isn't ego surfing. There is a difference between a normal sense of self esteem and narcissism. You just have to learn the other end of the spectrum." This is the truth. I spent decades in therapy learning this truth.
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Aug 19, 2022 15:16
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If you're concerned that talking honestly about your experiences and their impact are an indicator you are a narcissist, you needn't worry because a narcissist wouldn't be bothered in the first place.
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Aug 19, 2022 17:07
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Yeah a narcissist really kind of can't think of anything outside of their own benefit, even in everyday thoughts and interactions. You seem to reflect on others too often to really ever qualify; but I get the mindfuck of guilt and trauma that keeps you blaming yourself. Over years, you remember less context of the memory, but your own ruminations get stronger.
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Aug 19, 2022 20:32
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She used narcissism as a stand in word because I find myself constantly using it because talking about myself feels that way. My Mom was a legit Narcissistic, and I've gone to the other end of the extreme.
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Aug 19, 2022 23:10
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bulletsponge13 posted:The idea of publishing is getting slightly more serious in my head. mischief posted:Dude. Publish.  For what it's worth, I found writing about my time in the Army, and even going through the process of making it into a proper book, to be good for my brain. 
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Aug 24, 2022 21:24
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Short update tonight. Was in the middle of rewriting another that will be posted tomorrow.    Also tomorrow- The Moat.
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Aug 26, 2022 01:31
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      E- I forgot to fill in what we were told happened when we got back. Homedude got stabbed, was coming for help. He had pulled the knife from his side for reasons? bulletsponge13 fucked around with this message at 23:22 on Aug 26, 2022 |
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Aug 26, 2022 21:17
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For a second there, I thought the coolaid had finally gotten to you. I misread a single word and suddenly I was staring at a sentence going: "A mustache means death, dismemberment or prison."
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Aug 27, 2022 07:35
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For the first time, I went back to read over some of this poo poo. A) apologies for repeating myself so often- I've been trying to treat each as a completely stand alone piece, so I forget I use certain phrases. B) I wrote more than I thought I did. Sorry to drop the ball on the Moat. It'll be worth it.
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Aug 27, 2022 22:39
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Thread ain't dead, just in a coma. TMI follows- Last August, we had a house fire. Skipping a lot, our contractor made off with a lot of money, our house is not livable, and our temporary housing is over in 2 weeks. World is kinda nuts.
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Sep 10, 2022 02:36
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Man, that supremely loving sucks and I hope you and your family are all doing ok. After my experiences doing volunteer reconstruction work in New Orleans three years post-Katrina, I think the punishment for contractor fraud should be a sharp nail through the dick- a lot of people had contractors do a poo poo-rear end job with bad materials and shoddy labor then ghost as soon as the people realized what was up. Almost as damaging as when the levee failed. Hope you get back on your feet soon enough. The thread will be here when you’re ready.
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Sep 10, 2022 02:59
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pantslesswithwolves posted:Man, that supremely loving sucks and I hope you and your family are all doing ok. After my experiences doing volunteer reconstruction work in New Orleans three years post-Katrina, I think the punishment for contractor fraud should be a sharp nail through the dick- a lot of people had contractors do a poo poo-rear end job with bad materials and shoddy labor then ghost as soon as the people realized what was up. Related: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/aug/17/brad-pitt-foundation-settlement-owners-faulty-post-katrina-houses …many years later…
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Sep 10, 2022 03:11
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bulletsponge13 posted:Thread ain't dead, just in a coma. Oh man, I've been there (not the contractor running off, just the house fire and temporary housing part) as a kid. If you still haven't found acceptable living space when that timer runs out, you stuff your crap in a storage unit somewhere, get your family on a plane to Sweden and live in my house for a year while you sort that poo poo out. No I'm not kidding (you'll have to do the whole Visa/passport paperwork song and dance of course, but hey) Offer stands and is frankly insisted on if the alternative is living on the street or in ruinously expensive hotels.
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Sep 10, 2022 03:30
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ulmont posted:Related: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/aug/17/brad-pitt-foundation-settlement-owners-faulty-post-katrina-houses This isn’t my thread so I’ll nip this derail in the bud by saying that none of the houses I worked on were Brad Pitt houses. Sadly yet unsurprisingly, there were more than enough crooked contractors doing work on individual family’s shotgun homes and disappearing before you got to this level.
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Sep 10, 2022 03:42
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bulletsponge13 posted:Thread ain't dead, just in a coma. Is this contractor bonded? If so, go after his bond.
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Sep 19, 2022 04:05
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Things are still happening! I could give you a long winded discussion, but let's not. I was trying to wait until I had more, but figured it's better to post bite size than not post.    Therapist thinks this is a good thing; she wants me to explore sharing it further, outside our little subforum, but I am unsure. If I do, I want to keep it on SA. So standing offer- of any of you guys want to share this thread or any of my posts, go for it. I think I do better when it is more of a 'community' thing. I've also hit a little bit of a block. I don't want to dig into some of the heavier stuff closer to the surface, and am having problems accessing the more fun stuff. I realized part of the issue- Years ago, out of fear about the human memory, I set most of these stories/events/experiences to a kind of script. I memorized the details, the story, but never processed the experience. Writing takes a lot out of me because much of the time, it's the first time I've been with the emotions and actually lived it. In the moment, I was disassociated. Afterwards, I relayed the facts of the event. I never sit with the emotions, unless I'm writing. It's kinda heavy. My new meds making me a little too in touch with my feelings makes me a little cagey, too. In an effort to make things easier admin wise for tracking, I put everything so far into page protectors and a binder with an ad hoc Table of Contents to try and keep my poo poo straight. Right now, I want to write, but can't find a starting point.
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Nov 4, 2022 23:25
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