- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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I'm in for the whole story. Everybody's war is different. I know mine was not the same as yours.
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May 15, 2022 16:38
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Apr 28, 2024 11:16
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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That's the thing that makes it intrinsically difficult. I don't feel like my experiences were anything but ordinary, normal poo poo. I'm just starting to realize at 40, that no, most people do not have a frame of reference for some of my experiences. I felt like everything was normal, day to day mundane stuff.
Apparently, I'm wrong sometimes. Don't tell my wife- she'll get ideas above her station.
I get you. For me, Panama was different from DS was different from Somalia. But at the time, most of the poo poo seemed like stuff that everybody there just knew and wasn't special. Looking back though, it's a different animal.
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May 15, 2022 16:45
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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I started out my military career in Bravo 4/325 back in the Reagan 80s. I can make up for any 'never deployed guilt' by being deployed all the loving time. Seriously, don't feel guilty. Feel blessed.
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May 17, 2022 05:30
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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Reading this in handwritten form pushes the reality so much more intensely. This is continuing to be amazing and memory-inducing.
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May 24, 2022 15:25
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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Meds and therapy saved my mind. Keep with it man.
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Jun 12, 2022 01:14
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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I've reached a point that I had to list the episodes I've shared. I know I will repeat myself enough already- I had to check before I started on a new episode.
Two pieces coming tomorrow.
Thanks as always.
This has been therapeutic for me, because it's helped bring what I experienced together in my own head. Thanks, man. You're performing a public service.
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Jun 23, 2022 14:29
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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Thank you for sharing this. I find it incredibly powerful, and shockingly familiar. It's a good piece. I hope you found some solace in sharing it. Pain is heavy, no matter the cause.
I grew up in a similar world- I have some stories from before the service that are just as horrid as anything I experienced at war.
If my poo poo gives anyone something positive, it's worth it. You guys telling me that it's improved your lives or outlooks makes it worth sharing, and gives me motivation to share and dig. Turns out writing poo poo out makes you realize you aren't so Fonz with the past as you thought. But the fact I have helped even one of you in some fashion is loving diesel. I love you guys, and I love the community.
And seriously ❤.
Bro, we were all in the poo poo. You're just putting it down so the rest of the world will maybe get an idea of what that poo poo actually was. I fought in three different conflicts than yours, but everything you've written could have happened to someone I served with, not the circumstances but the emotions.
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Jul 10, 2022 06:54
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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Holy poo poo, this is helping me process, even thirty years later.
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Aug 18, 2022 19:46
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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I spent six out of my ten years in some kind of operational deployment, whether it was in Honduras, Panama, Kuwait, Somalia, or on so many loving MTT rotations. It absolutely burns away at you, this disconnected feeling of whether you're actually doing something good and useful or whether you're just taking up space. It's a very military version of imposter syndrome and, like most of the poo poo we experience, you just don't leave it behind when you ETS. It lingers and you spend the rest of your life trying to deal with it.
someone doing hero's work posted:
"No, being honest about your accomplishments isn't seeking attention. Being proud of what you've done isn't ego surfing. There is a difference between a normal sense of self esteem and narcissism. You just have to learn the other end of the spectrum."
This is the truth. I spent decades in therapy learning this truth.
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Aug 19, 2022 15:16
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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I actually asked my therapist a question for next session. I don't seem to be able to relate to other combat Vets often. It seems like our individual burdens and traumas are unrelatable, and I don't understand it. It feels like I'm the only G.I.Joe figure with broken thumbs when everyone else has a crotch broke. We're broken, but from different things. Like the experiences I have are removed from others. I'm explaining it poorly, I know. Another poor description- the war was something that happened TO them; it wasn't something that happened WITH them.
Anyway, love you guys.
Dude, we all processed war differently. Just because we were all in combat doesn't mean that we felt things the same way; the main thing we have in common is that it was suck, and we had to deal with it without any assistance. I love your stuff because even though it's not any of the same wars I fought, it still has that thread that binds all of us idiots that joined together.
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Nov 7, 2022 21:21
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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My Purple Heart was because I was an idiot that managed to get shot in the leg by a terrified Panamanian kid as we invaded his country. I do not consider it a thing of honor.
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Jun 1, 2023 20:58
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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'Blooms of Baghdad' was so perfect. Thank you.
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Aug 22, 2023 20:29
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Apr 28, 2024 11:16
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- Humbug Scoolbus
- Apr 25, 2008
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The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
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Clapping Larry
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We are here to read the stories as you feel like sharing them. We are not here expecting a Monday and Friday scheduled update like you were just making them in the factory.
You do you and we'll still be here to appreciate you.
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Aug 22, 2023 22:08
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May 15, 2022 16:38
