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ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



Put boogers in his urethra? :thunkher:

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Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.




What Ian Watkins did.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


cum

JetSetGo
Jan 1, 2011

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Debase themselves having sex with you OP.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Big Bitch Crybaby!
Ask me about my repulsive insecurity and constant whining!


Das Boo posted:

What Ian Watkins did.

I had no idea who this was.
And now I do.

Frankly that isn't very funny at all imo

The X-man cometh
Nov 1, 2009


We answered this with the SWAP.avi thread

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004



There is no limit. You can always add something worse

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Put boogers in his urethra? :thunkher:

This plus you fart

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Ur mom

blight rhino
Feb 11, 2014

EXQUISITE LURKER RHINO




like i love me some sex. i do the sex all the time. Sex Master, right here.

but sometimes i think about it too much. like sticking an organ into another person's organ. like. that's kind of gross if you think too hard (hah) about it.


Das Boo posted:

What Ian Watkins did.

well this wins, obviously, I was thinking in a more general sense.
burn this dude. (googles)

Burn this dude's corpse.

Billy Ray Blowjob
Nov 30, 2011


Capitalism

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



The Bloop posted:

There is no limit. You can always add something worse

This plus you fart

Like something with horchata? :thunk:

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


sex is the basis of capitalism. capitalism is about sex. except sex. sex is about cum

EorayMel
May 29, 2015



Sorority Fister posted:

grab a fisftul of my hair and begin slowly loving my mouth...nice and smooth, in and out, you take in the pleasure of the wet warmth of my mouth. I stare up at you with puppy dog eyes while i put my hands on your rear end, which i feel tightening. you increase the speed of your thrusts until youre riding that edge, jackhammering me so hard my nose starts to bleed. you throw your head back and scream like braveheart having his guts rearranged by the torturer as hot ropes of your seed rush down my throathole

I want to lube up your arm with warm butter and then have you fist my rectum while im up on a table. then youre just really pounding away up to your elbow in me, literally jumping off the ground to generate more force

Man I could go for a nice relaxing ASMR session of your ripping high pitched squeaky farts directly into my earhole...little brown tornados flying around my skull

I want to feel your pulsing erection as you climax deep into my rear end. my lower intestines expanding trying to accomdate the sheer volume of your hot mayonaise in my guts

If you are familiar with construction equipment, in particular the Breaker, cousin to the jackhammer. I would like for you to replicate this motion and violence on my rectum with your rock hard erection until you've pulverized my turds into diamonds.

Im laying in bed watching this and my wife is sitting here trying to troll me by smacking her beef curtains together making nasty wet smacking sounds

If you were to, say, slide your peepee into my dripping hot anus, and then draw on my face a poo poo stache while ejaculating directly into my eyes..or perhaps directly into one of my nostrils like you were oiling up the tinman


I want you to point your rear end in a top hat straight up in the air, and i come up next to it while grabbing your shaft. your scrotum just spills down the top of my hand..down my wrist. I feel and smell the hot stinky steam wafting off your crack after a hard days work. I blow air across your gaping rear end in a top hat and it makes a howling noise...doodoo crusted taint hairs not even moving like iron jeri curls

Power wash the epidermis straight off my face with your hot, powerful piss

I'd like to picture you jumping up in the air matrix style, legs spread wide...pants just exploding off your body, before going in for the ultimate face rape of yours truly, cock all the way down my throat...violently gyrating your pelvis as you attempt to get enough friction for you to climax without losing your tight grip around my face. legs wrapped around my back, you ejaculate hot ropes of your seed down my throathole like a facehugger alien

I would drop to my knees and plant a hundred ticklish little kisses on your ballbag as a prelude to me ironing out the wrinkles of your sack with my tongue, your nuts just shifting around on their own as you take in the experience

I want you to surf my mouth erection first, and then use my uvula as a cock punching bag while youre grabbing my ears..ejaculating straight down my cock hungry throat like a facehugger alien

i want to press my mouth against your shitlips like a docking maneuver in space...i feel the vibrations of your lower intestines going hurgl gurgl as your sphincter winks inwards slightly before erupting a train of diarrhetic heaven straight into my stomach

I slide into the room like kramer, only to discover you standing there naked with a bulging erection, glistening with lube. I launch myself like a projectile mouth first and 'dock' with your erection like a jet performing an in flight refueling maneuver. you transport what feels like gallons of your hot love fuel directly into my stomach, and i come off your mayonaise canon with an audible pop..a slight bit of extra seed splashes onto my face...my mouth hangs open like that of a tired dog, saliva drooling out of my mouth like ive been lobotomized

I want to maintain eye contact with you while i lightly tongue your general taint area, and then lick up the seam of your ballbage like im sealing and envelope. your erection pulses with anticipation. i bring my mouth down around your bulging mushroom cap as you close your eyes and feel the wet warmth of my mouth. your hips start thrusting on their own while you grab a fistful of my hair, jackhammering my mouth before erupting with your hot mayonaise straight down my throathole

I want to be in a human centipede with you. large flaps of my facial tissue stitched to your backside. the moment of truth crappening as i feel your sphincter start to buldge outward against my tongue, and a train of hot brown heaven makes its way down towards my throat, brushing up against my uvula, and then settling comfortably into my stomach. i feel full and satisfied.

I come running and slide underneath your legs like im stealing home base...i gently cup your ballbag and begin exploring your taint with my tongue, before moving up the seam of your scrotum and taking your cock in my mouth. you grab a fistful of my hair and begin jackhammering my mouth while my eyes bulge and you erupt with hot mayonaise straight down my cock hungry throat

i gently cup your ballbag and begin exploring your taint with my tongue, before moving up the seam of your scrotum and taking your cock in my mouth. you grab a fistful of my hair and begin jackhammering my mouth while my eyes bulge and you erupt with hot mayonaise straight down my cock hungry throat

I'm eating a big mac at macdonalds when you walk in the door and I stop midbite. Youre dressed like youre on the run, like someone was after you. Sunglasses, a baggy dress thats only hinting at your normally magificent gunt. you walk over to me with a purpose and put a leg up on my table, smashing what was left of my fries. I stare up at your face bewlidered i drop my big mac. my hand runs up your leg. soft, well moisturized skin. your leg starts off as cool and I feel the heat rise as my hand gets closer to your sex. you are white hot between your legs and slightly damp, the knife edge of my hand brushes up against a string. i stick my head under your dress like im a 19th century photographer and rip that tampon out with my mouth, special sauce still on my lips, and it flails around bloody and soggy looking like a skinned mouth. you begin gyrating your pelvis against my tongue while grabbing a fistful of my hair. you come hard as a pimply faced 19 year old is sweeping the floor beside us

I want you to shove your yogurt slinger all the way down my throat, then pull out and rearrange my guts with it up my rear end

I wish I was under your desk with my face in your general crotch area while you rip long nasty farts...your labia just getting blown around all gracefully like the wings of a swimming stingary

grab the back of my head and just loving impale me on your erect cock, nut, pieces of skull and brains explode out the back of my head like im being eaten out by alien throatjaws in a moment of violent ecstasy

I want you to whip out your veiny yogurt slinger and ill take it in my mouth from the side and go up and down on it like a typewriter until you finally go CHING and erupt like a mayonaise volcano

your cock plumps up like a ballpark hot dog in my hand, the skin barely containing the bulging of the meat within. i start doing the harlem handshake on your hog until your mushroom cap explodes in a shower of hot knucklebabies

i want you to slam and then flattin a can of creamed corn on top of my head, then grab my ears and violently gently caress my face while screaming and finally ejaculating straight down my throathole feelin like i swallowed a train of hot oysters

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004




This plus Donald Trump Jr is watching

Buce
Dec 23, 2005



The kind where on person is over there, and the other people are like, the other way around, you know?

ButterSkeleton
Jan 19, 2020

SIZE=XX-LARGE]PLEASE! PLEASE STOP SAYING THE R WORD. GOD, IF SOMEBODY SAID THE R WORD, I WILL HECKIN LOSE IT. JUST PEE PEE MY JORTS. CAN'T YOU JUST CALL THEM A SMOOTHE BRAINED DOTARD LIKE THE REST OF US NORMAL PEOPLE? DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

P.S. FREE LARRY YOU FUCKIN COWARDS.


Ur mom

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Any sex poo poo that doesn't include Jesus

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.




Big Beef City posted:

I had no idea who this was.
And now I do.

Frankly that isn't very funny at all imo

Sorry, have this as a token of apology:

Billy Ray Blowjob
Nov 30, 2011


Hitler Sex

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





The way you were conceived op.

Buce
Dec 23, 2005



you guys ever hear of … the inverted fuel siphon?

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

Konnichiwa, darin!

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.



Whatever Emperor Palpatine did, because you know that dude was a freak in the sack.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

He just electrocuted his balls with deadly force

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004




Disgusting

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Poopipoopipoopipoop

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007




lol

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

POGCHUMP !

#essereFerrari





touching a wiener

wedgie deliverer
Oct 2, 2010



“You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I hosed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to gently caress a farting woman when every gently caress drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.”

-James Joyce

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020


[Besides the obvious gross stuff and animals]

Intercourse with the stoma of someone who has had a colonectomy sounds ridiculously awful in every way.

Guys are weird

god please help me
Jul 9, 2018



"They call this one the 30-50 feral hogs, op. :grin:"

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

Sorry guys, I'm just a donut.



Those guys who inject silicone into their dick and balls.

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I just had an epiphany: the internet is useless!





Ultra Carp

Peggy Edson
Oct 15, 2004



Buttsex when the receiver has poop in the chamber

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

but i dont wanna be a spaceship


Fun Shoe

the most common sex: alone in a room thinking of someone completely unaware of you.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



moderating

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Two 300lb people having scat sex after cleaning out the Golden Corral.

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004

Girrrl, let me see them Platinum Jubblies

Lights are off save for one overhead light with downward-focused beam.

We sit in steel folding chairs facing each other.

We do not touch.

My parents enter the room and begin arguing about petty past grievances.

They leave the room.

I ejaculate in my pants.

You excuse yourself by telling me you have a "big stinky for Mr. Toilet."

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004

Girrrl, let me see them Platinum Jubblies

You pack every menu item taco bell offers up my rear end including 2 liters of Mountain Dew Baja Blast.

It ferments for a week.

You uncork my rectum and the percussive explosion shatters the lobby windows in the hospice center.

I ejaculate instantly.

You take me for froyo.

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staberind
Feb 20, 2008

but i dont wanna be a spaceship


Fun Shoe

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Two 300lb people having scat sex while servinbg at the Golden Corral.

ftfy.

staberind fucked around with this message at 20:52 on May 15, 2022

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