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Methanar
Sep 26, 2013
ASK ME MY METHOD FOR SORTING GENOCIDES I'VE MADE A LIST FROM GOOD TO BAD AND THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE YOU!

lets all talk about how much we love the country we moved to. any migrant to any country welcome here

i moved to america to chase the american dream. one day i hope to become a small independent business owner running a beekeeping operation where i employ 1 or 2 people to help around the farm.

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Sourdough Sam
May 2, 2010

:dukedog:

I aim to make my path to wealth and acceptance inaccessible to my own people once I get there!

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


uscis can suck my fuckin balls

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Imma grant you OP to suck my sweaty balls.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Problematic Poster*~

Fun Shoe

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Imma grant you OP to suck my sweaty balls.

Methanar
Sep 26, 2013
ASK ME MY METHOD FOR SORTING GENOCIDES I'VE MADE A LIST FROM GOOD TO BAD AND THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE YOU!

kntfkr posted:

uscis can suck my fuckin balls

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

An A+ Poster (:

I was born in the United States (:

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Nooner posted:

I was born in the United States (:

Sorry

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Problematic Poster*~

Fun Shoe


ill one up that.

i was born in silicon valley

and then my parents sold their house in Palo Alto

WHOOPS!

curlys gold
Jan 17, 2018



my ancestor immigrated to the great promised land of utah with joseph smith and then he was like “lol im outta here with my child bride, seeya laters”

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007



my greatx15 grandfather got himself a government wife from the king of france when he moved to quebec

this would go on to have ripple effects in the incel community

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.



my great grandpa was training to be a catholic priest when he got a woman he wasn't married to pregnant, so they left the church and fled to America, the only country where that kind of thing was allowed.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


deep dish peat moss posted:

my great grandpa was training to be a catholic priest when he got a woman he wasn't married to pregnant, so they left the church and fled to America, the only country where that kind of thing was allowed.

With a woman? He really strayed from the his training.

greazeball
Feb 4, 2003





I've successfully immigrated to Switzerland from the US, got a passport and can vote and everything. The secret is to be white and married to a Swiss. They do recognise gay marriage here so that's good. I still have to file US taxes and my bank will always share my account info with the Financial Crimes Enforcement Division but getting rid of American citizenship is a giant pain in the rear end too and I still like visiting family and friends so just gotta deal with it I guess.

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019



How long did you live in Edmonton, OP? Are you one of those weirdos who calls Canada America?

Billy Ray Blowjob
Nov 30, 2011


I talk and act like Kuni (Gedde Watanabe) from UHF so no one knows I was born here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hb8MUsezbLc

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






I moved to the UK, it's pretty good, OP ngl

Remember to queue, put more importance in bin day than the day of your marriage or your firstborn and correct answer to "Alright?" (or "You alright?") is also "Alright" and DEFINITELY not an invitation to a conversation. Pretty ez

Deep Glove Bruno
Sep 4, 2015

yung swamp thang

Galewolf posted:

I moved to the UK, it's pretty good, OP ngl

Remember to queue, put more importance in bin day than the day of your marriage or your firstborn and correct answer to "Alright?" (or "You alright?") is also "Alright" and DEFINITELY not an invitation to a conversation. Pretty ez

Counterpoint: gently caress queues, if i see a queue i'm not going to whatever poo poo food joint or whatever it is because i know brits are attracted to queues in and of themselves; fly-tip all your garbage etc etc

but the healthcare...


anyway hi thread i'm a double immigrant, i've been through it twice. may one day all borders be torn down and humans live as one

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler

Pillbug

I meet a lot of immigrants, and I'd just like to say thanks for your patience when I try to pronounce your names

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






gleebster posted:

I meet a lot of immigrants, and I'd just like to say thanks for your patience when I try to pronounce your names

It's okay buddy, mine is near impossible to pronounce in English language and I don't hold it against anyone not being able to do so, have some kebab :3:

Writing my name wrong despite it's being written on the email address, forwarded mail text and my signature is taking the piss and you will be publicly corrected on repeat occasion :mad:

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







Chinatown posted:

ill one up that.

i was born in silicon valley

and then my parents sold their house in Palo Alto

WHOOPS!

Lol rekt

Deep Glove Bruno
Sep 4, 2015

yung swamp thang

yeah drat son. i am truely sorry for your lots

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






Guys, I know hating on Murica is very chic but just look at this passport:



I mean, how can you not feel like a fuckin rockstar when you're packing this badboy with a two page American Eagle background with some tl;dr about freedom and guns are written in the background. If I had one of those I'd be walking STRAIGHT through the passport control of any country while flipping it open like a FBI badge and never stopping.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


^^^^edit: real americans like me cover the P with sharpie so that it says ASSPORT

I've been married since 2015. Wife is just getting her green card this year.

And we can't go back to China for foreseeable future because their idiot king baby thinks Covid-Zero (no sugar) is possible and won't ease the gently caress up.

She hasn't been home in ten years & I am desperate to pawn the kids off on her folks for a month and go gently caress around in Asia & pretend to be 20. BUT NOPE.

gently caress da world

Billy Ray Blowjob
Nov 30, 2011


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcjiYn3xXMg

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003



Grimey Drawer

kntfkr posted:

^^^^edit: real americans like me cover the P with sharpie so that it says ASSPORT

I've been married since 2015. Wife is just getting her green card this year.

And we can't go back to China for foreseeable future because their idiot king baby thinks Covid-Zero (no sugar) is possible and won't ease the gently caress up.

She hasn't been home in ten years & I am desperate to pawn the kids off on her folks for a month and go gently caress around in Asia & pretend to be 20. BUT NOPE.

gently caress da world

That makes me like Xi more.

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






kntfkr posted:

^^^^edit: real americans like me cover the P with sharpie so that it says ASSPORT

:911:

7 Years for Green Card through marriage? Yeah, that checks out. Back in the day, when I was making plans to gtfo I had an extensive research on different countries immigration procedures and US was objectively the hardest, near impossible even, for legitimate entry. Even Australia wasn't that bad. I probably entered GC lottery five times before which is ironically easiest way.

Unless you're some sort of tech prodigy that is needed by the Zos or Zucc, you're SOL.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.




Galewolf posted:

:911:

7 Years for Green Card through marriage? Yeah, that checks out. Back in the day, when I was making plans to gtfo I had an extensive research on different countries immigration procedures and US was objectively the hardest, near impossible even, for legitimate entry. Even Australia wasn't that bad. I probably entered GC lottery five times before which is ironically easiest way.

Unless you're some sort of tech prodigy that is needed by the Zos or Zucc, you're SOL.

Stop, you're ruining the OP's American Dream

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.




My completely American sister got her bank account shut down and her phone tapped because her husband's parents were MPs in an Islamic country, lol.

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






I got nearly mugged in NYC in the metro and probably came close to death unknowingly multiple times in New Orleans by walking alone in French Quarter at late night. Then the entire state of Lousiana healthcare collapsed overnight due to Delta and I wasn't able to get a single Covid test to return to the ONLY place in the world that was doing worse than (at that time) south of the US and I had to take a 12 hour train to Atlanta to catch up a last minute flight the moment I get a test kit because my original flight from Miami got cancelled due to Covid / hurricane (probably) but silver lining the airport hotel had like two Waffle Houses you can literally see from each other's windows so I ate 7000 calories in one sitting while a nice lady with a walkie talkie on her belt called me "darlin''

Next plan is to fly to Austin for Austin City limits in October OR do a west coast SF to LA trip because idk I it was fun

Galewolf fucked around with this message at 14:48 on May 16, 2022

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






So, where should I live in states if I can find a good job? Austin sounds good but so does Colorado or SF. I have like couple of years left in me to do ONE LAST more major life change

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.




SF bay area is nice but housing is expensive as gently caress. If thats not an issue for you, then its great, theres all kinds of stuff to do and eat

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






DeadFatDuckFat posted:

SF bay area is nice but housing is expensive as gently caress. If thats not an issue for you, then its great, theres all kinds of stuff to do and eat

My theory is, if I can somehow make a break in London, I should be okay in anywhere else and carry the business there but currently thinking 0.40 p discount on tomatoes are a great find so, yeah. SF sounds like my kinda jam but yeah it might be unreasonably expensive to actually consider.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


Das Boo posted:

My completely American sister got her bank account shut down and her phone tapped because her husband's parents were MPs in an Islamic country, lol.

I have a fully American cousin who is a sweet lady that designs wallpaper and she wound up on the no fly list for [REDACTED]. Just no reason. She couldn't get an explanation. No idea if it's fixed now.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


Galewolf posted:

So, where should I live in states if I can find a good job? Austin sounds good but so does Colorado or SF. I have like couple of years left in me to do ONE LAST more major life change

I like working remote from the jersey shore. Philly & the city aren't too far and being able to walk to the ocean rules & is good for (my) mental health. Also Hoboken or Jersey City are good ways to be in the City without being in the City.

4 out of 5 people I know that have moved to Colorado have completely wrecked themselves out there and I don't know why but would approach with caution unless your thing is mountain climbing or growing weed as a job.

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






kntfkr posted:

I like working remote from the jersey shore. Philly & the city aren't too far and being able to walk to the ocean rules & is good for (my) mental health. Also Hoboken or Jersey City are good ways to be in the City without being in the City.

4 out of 5 people I know that have moved to Colorado have completely wrecked themselves out there and I don't know why but would approach with caution unless your thing is mountain climbing or growing weed as a job.

I think, when I'm like proper old (in less than ten years) I might crave for something more relaxed and outdoors-y. While the idea of Bri-ish countryside is appealing, I think I prefer having a more wild open space rather than immaculately trimmed hedges of the Southern Yorkenshire.

NYC is also an option but I don't know if I can handle another round of London. Living close to ocean is also my goal. I kinda like the states and people be like "oh you'll be so Paris Syndrome-d when you finally go there and even like 40 year old jaded me was like "Well, that was awesome!" but I guess living in a country is a different beast.

My one and only MAJOR concern is healthcare, or the lack of universal one. I don't want to fall into some sort f crack or insurance company loophole and not be able to afford...living. I know NHS is far from being perfect but BY GOD it's a major relief to know that it's there.

Methanar
Sep 26, 2013
ASK ME MY METHOD FOR SORTING GENOCIDES I'VE MADE A LIST FROM GOOD TO BAD AND THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE YOU!

deep dish peat moss posted:

my great grandpa was training to be a catholic priest when he got a woman he wasn't married to pregnant, so they left the church and fled to America, the only country where that kind of thing was allowed.

God bless America. Providing refuge from religious persecution for 300 years

Borscht
Jun 4, 2011


Galewolf posted:

:911:

7 Years for Green Card through marriage? Yeah, that checks out. Back in the day, when I was making plans to gtfo I had an extensive research on different countries immigration procedures and US was objectively the hardest, near impossible even, for legitimate entry. Even Australia wasn't that bad. I probably entered GC lottery five times before which is ironically easiest way.

Unless you're some sort of tech prodigy that is needed by the Zos or Zucc, you're SOL.


This is incorrect. It's less than 1 year for the gc. 7 is for citizenship eligibility. USCIS can suck my drat balls tho

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






Borscht posted:

This is incorrect. It's less than 1 year for the gc. 7 is for citizenship eligibility. USCIS can suck my drat balls tho

Oh fair enough, I based that on OP's comment. UK is 5 year flat, iirc, through marriage

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AHH F/UGH
May 25, 2002



my wife is an immigrant and let me just say

kntfkr posted:

uscis can suck my fuckin balls

I completely understand why people would just overstay their visa

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