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precision
May 7, 2006

hug your posting pals




tag urself

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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I'm the dumb ugly cracker

jimmyjams
Jan 10, 2001


King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong


fart

Billy Ray Blowjob
Nov 30, 2011


I saw some Galagher the other day and he smashed a cake with his hammer and it splashed into the crowd and one of the people in the audience ate some.

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004



what does this guy even do besides hitting things with a hammer? Does he have a normal standup or something?

Samuel L. Hacksaw
Mar 25, 2007

I don't care about some gold stolen from nazi victims 80 years ago. It's just white noise.


Caesar Saladin posted:

what does this guy even do besides hitting things with a hammer? Does he have a normal standup or something?

Racist humor mostly, based entirely on the fact that my boomer inlaws love him.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


Caesar Saladin posted:

what does this guy even do besides hitting things with a hammer? Does he have a normal standup or something?

I watched a few of his stand-up acts way back when (I think it used to be on really late on Comedy Central, along with other old stuff) and it's almost entirely really tepid observational humor. "Isn't it weird how..." kind of stuff. He had this long bit about how English sometimes has really weird spelling rules. Then, for a finale, he'll smash a watermelon and maybe a few other things and the crowd will go wild.

It's not great, but there are worse things (though most of those worse things involve Jeff Dunham and his loving puppets).

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Big Bitch Crybaby!
Ask me about my repulsive insecurity and constant whining!


I would pay $5000 for Gallagher to wallop my balls with a hammer after doing a stand up routine about them and how pathetic they are to an audience

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

At the end of 2018, a study was published by London Metropolitan University showing that certain bacteria, normally present only in intestinal tracts or feces, were found on McDonald's self-service screens.




I saw a Gallagher show back in the mid 90's. It was fine. My brother even got up on stage and helped out with a bit.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Big Bitch Crybaby!
Ask me about my repulsive insecurity and constant whining!


How's his balls?
Your brothers I mean.
After Gallagher hit them full on with a sledgehammer to the screaming delight of others.
How's his sack is what I'm asking.

longtimelurker
Mar 12, 2006

Powered by alcohol



I'm the guy laughing hysterically at smashed fruit

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

At the end of 2018, a study was published by London Metropolitan University showing that certain bacteria, normally present only in intestinal tracts or feces, were found on McDonald's self-service screens.




Big Beef City posted:

How's his balls?
Your brothers I mean.
After Gallagher hit them full on with a sledgehammer to the screaming delight of others.
How's his sack is what I'm asking.

He's on this dead gay forum so you can ask him if you want.

I can't remember the setup, but the end result of the bit is that my brother dumped a can of pumpkin pie filling on the audience.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







Gallagher? drat near killed er!

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


i'm the hot chick

hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009



kntfkr posted:

i'm the hot chick

i'm also just out of frame, totally existing with qualities and attributes you can believe

old beast lunatic
Nov 2, 2004

I'M EXTREMELY MAD KYLE KILLED THE PEDO WHO RAPED 5 BOYS, I CAN'T STOP MELTING DOWN. I STAN FOR THE WHITE GUY PEDO WHO SAYS THE N WORD AND RAPES LITTLE BOYS. WHY DID KYLE HAVE TO KILL THIS LIL ANGEL???

Colonel Cancer posted:

I'm the dumb ugly cracker

I'm the other one

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

I'm the person that's smiling, happy and enjoying my evening out.

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever



Counterpoint: Make friends with the abyss and you'll never have to pay for another Gallagher ticket again.

AcidCat
Feb 10, 2005



Caesar Saladin posted:

what does this guy even do besides hitting things with a hammer? Does he have a normal standup or something?

Now, you've gone and articulated a question that I never even considered. I feel like this guy's been around all my life, and he was the guy that smashed food with a big hammer. That's all I ever needed to know. Only now, that you openly voice this query, do I dare consider the possibility that there is more to the story, more to the man.

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever



AcidCat posted:

consider the possibility that there is more to the story, more to the man.

That Gallagher is really a 5th dimensional shadow cast by super-intelligent exploding watermelons?

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM #ad📢



Caesar Saladin posted:

what does this guy even do besides hitting things with a hammer? Does he have a normal standup or something?

He tells it like it is.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







I figured he was like 90 by now but apparently hes only 75

hotdog feet
Nov 3, 2005





why do they call it a hot water heater if you don't need to heat hot water?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hotdog feet
Nov 3, 2005





lol that his brother went behind his back and toured as him and nobody could tell the difference because Gallagher sux

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin



I'm the guy who paid $150 for front row Gallagher tickets in 1983 and was also at the US Capitol on January 6th, 2021.

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.







iirc he does silly props and dad jokes/observations

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Big Bitch Crybaby!
Ask me about my repulsive insecurity and constant whining!


You EVER wear a SHIRT so TIGHT you can see your NIPPLES through YOUR SUSPENDERS because BROTHER, I HAVE *hits a watermelon, sexually*

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM #ad📢



Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006



Posting in a Precision thread

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







What if you went on stage with Gallagher and started loving the watermelon right there in front of the audience and Gallagher brought the hammer down and SMASH just chunks of your hog and watermelon all mixed up forever

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

Konnichiwa, darin!


Gallagher was either before my time or just someone I had zero awareness of forever. At the time Chapelle did the "black Gallagher" skit on his show I had never seen the real Gallagher and had no mental image of him. So whenever he gets mentioned it takes me a moment to remember that Black Gallagher was a gag and the real one is white.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006



Gallagher was so popular his twin brother just stole his entire set. Then Gallagher sued and Gallagher had to be called Gallagher 2.

Then Gallagher went unhinged and started screaming about Mexicans and the Chinese between watermelon smashes

Stryder
Oct 3, 2002


Caesar Saladin posted:

what does this guy even do besides hitting things with a hammer? Does he have a normal standup or something?

His specials were on Showtime nonstop, when I was a kid. I think it could best be described as "hick George Carlin". Like, most of his stuff is lifted wholesale from the type of stuff Carlin would talk about, but dumbed down for a Gallagher crowd, mixed with prop comedy for illustrative purposes. And then after 40 minutes of that it's "gently caress it, you came to watch me smash poo poo with the Sledge-o-matic."

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM #ad📢



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4ltZRK7BvQ

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Fuckagher

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


the crowd is just so loving hot i can't stand it

afroserty
Apr 22, 2010



Cause after all, you're my watermelon.

oh dope
Nov 2, 2006

No guilt, it feeds in plain sight


I'M A TRAVELING COMEDIAN

I KNOW HOW UPS WORKS

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Samuel L. ACKSYN
Feb 29, 2008




galagher and the hydraulic press channel show us that "smash thing with thing" is a universal human interest

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