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precision
May 7, 2006

hug your posting pals


i feel like i coud probably write some really good dialogue heres some exampes

so imagine theres like... there's two characters named Shiv and Shank. rumor is that one is male and one is female but nobody is asking which. they're like thief types with big cloaks on. nayway they might be like

:ninja: You hear? Rooker's back in town.
:ninja: Oof. Fatal, him.
:ninja: Heard he took down the Ijerian Army last week.
:ninja: Where'd 'e fight them, then?
:ninja: Ijeria.
:ninja: Right right, but whereabouts?
:ninja: You misunderstand me. He took down the whole army.
:ninja: Fwaaaaaah.
:ninja: Right?
:ninja: ...we should have a go at 'im
:ninja: You're certifiable, you
:ninja: No but like, he's tired by now, surely
:ninja: Not that tired!
:ninja: Still... be a lark
:ninja: You're a lark

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Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

An A+ Poster (:

...

EorayMel
May 29, 2015



Nani?

Nice Van My Man
Jan 1, 2008



....!?

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Problematic Poster*~

Fun Shoe

shart

jimmyjams
Jan 10, 2001


King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong


belch

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~



Grimey Drawer

My lore is extensive but i don't want to talk about it. Buy a potion or gently caress off

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



WE NEED MORE BALLS IN THE BALL FACTORY!!!
-sephithorth

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


STABASS
Apr 18, 2009



Fun Shoe

op have you heard of a game called dragon age 2? I don't like to presume but I think it would be right up your alley

Outpost22
Oct 11, 2012

RIP Screamy You were too good for this world.


Who is John Galt?

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

Konnichiwa, darin!

I'm not convinced yet, OP. Here, please complete these simple but open ended prompts so I can see how you work.

Prompt #1: One town NPC regales another with the story of their encounter with a mudcrab.

Prompt #2: The player tries to turn down a quest from the local lord to find and return a stolen artifact. Come up with a reason the lord gives for why the player now has to do it anyway.

Prompt #3: An NPC wishes to show their appreciation to the player for saving them from bandits. What do they say/do? Description of NPC: elf, busty.

Meme Poker Party fucked around with this message at 18:21 on May 18, 2022

precision
May 7, 2006

hug your posting pals


Alea is a young Barmaid on a world where Bars are bascialy the same as Churches, and Bar Staff are thus Clergy. in this game they have all te heal spells andstuff. this is actually a game i am working on (not a joke)

so she arrives to start her like, Bar training and like

:monocle: ...between a Half-Elf Ranger and six Orcish Musketeers! Ahahahah! ,,,oh? Who might you be?
:j: Alea, sire! Reporting for duty!
:monocle: Ahhhh yes, the new Barmaid, eh? Very good, very good...
:j: Yes! I'm told my pouring technique is quite advanced!
:monocle: ...pouring technique? Ahahaha. Yes. Well. I'm sure you'll have ample opportunity to... impress... once you've settled in. I'll have your things sent for.
:j: Oh... this is all I have, sire. My family is quite poor.
:monocle: Clearly... and does all your family... smell of Tauran Manure?
:j: oop!!... :blush:

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

It's not RPG dialog unless lines are at least two paragraphs long

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

POGCHUMP !

#essereFerrari





how appropriate, you fight like a cow OP!

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

Panic! At The Tesco posted:

how appropriate, you fight like a cow OP!

The hell is that supposed to mean?!

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006



I punched my fist in and out of OP's dad's rear end until he collapsed in mind-shattering bliss and declared his love for Tashir, Queen-Goddess of the night

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006



I did the same to OP's uncle but he refused to convert

LuckyCat
Jul 26, 2007






Grimey Drawer

Woozle… wuzzle?

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm



I rolled a 12

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010



i got real mad playing an rpg recently where a character said something in parenthesis. its like, oh motherfucker, you said this dialogue out loud? in parenthesis? and im sure one of you assholes will say oh actually you can say parenthesis out loud, well, gently caress you, gently caress whoever wrote that, got paid for it. i will eat your wife

The Alchemist
Dec 12, 2010


I need a worthless and useless item with robust description text, pronto

The Alchemist
Dec 12, 2010


A dialog tree with 5 different choices, all leading to same conclusion! Gamers love that poo poo

dr.acula
May 9, 2009

Billions and billions of fat clouds



Help! I'm in an rpg and I'm being punched! Upwards!

Samuel L. Hacksaw
Mar 25, 2007

I don't care about some gold stolen from nazi victims 80 years ago. It's just white noise.


Congratulations on your first good post op!

The Alchemist
Dec 12, 2010


You can accept the mission politely, or accept the mission but be an unapologetic rear end in a top hat about it. Choose wisely, the fate of the world depends on it

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Ratman barkeep desperately needs your help dealing with that pesky human swarm infestation upstairs

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006

Was ist das problem fraulein?


Wistiflour of the Deeps sends his regards: "I make a big poopy"

Yvershek
Nov 15, 2000

and there are no
diamonds in the
mine


Hire me to pad a game just enough for Steam to reject a return on it.

BUT THOUGH MUST
BUT THOUGH MUST
BUT THOUGH MUST

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

"Ey I'm raiding here" said the orc

precision
May 7, 2006

hug your posting pals


:black101: I've riven thru these bloody ruins for fourteen turnings of the Ember Spire. My vengeance grows in the inktreader night. Silent...
:v: Hello?
:black101: ...deadly, stained with the burning souls of a thousand blooded knives...
:v: It's just, we're trying to get to Highwater...
:black101: Seek you the Dark Visage? O bold??
:v: Not as such, not as such. Looking for a wizard... name of Nigel? About yay high, got like... wonky little stars on 'is robe, and whatnot?
:black101: Magic is the curse of Nahojum, brought from the defiled race of Morkutanas...
:v: I hear you, I hear you. It's just, we're in a bit of a hurry...
:black101: Insolent fool!!! Prepare yourllsef!!!

and then, there's a boss fight

cult_hero
Jul 10, 2001


My protagonist is only able to speak in ellipses, but I need some good exposition as to why he's needed to take up the quest to slay the leader of the evil dragon cult.

precision
May 7, 2006

hug your posting pals


cult_hero posted:

My protagonist is only able to speak in ellipses, but I need some good exposition as to why he's needed to take up the quest to slay the leader of the evil dragon cult.

:corsair: Remember you your mother?
:geno: ...
:corsair: Yes... she was beautiful. Half-water spirit, she was.
:geno: ...
:corsair: Well, she... she was busy! Spirit business.
:geno: ...
:corsair: I suppose she might have done, but, well, you turned out alright?
:geno: ...
:corsair: Oh well I'm sure it weren't that bad... cults are very loving environments! And that Darkan, very charismatic leader.
:geno: ...
:corsair: Just over that ridge there

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

Konnichiwa, darin!

cult_hero posted:

My protagonist is only able to speak in ellipses, but I need some good exposition as to why he's needed to take up the quest to slay the leader of the evil dragon cult.

I will destroy the dragon cult and take the dragon they worship as my wife.

sex excellence
Feb 19, 2011

Satisfaction Guranteed


sod off, taffer!

Strategic Tea
Sep 1, 2012

Please ensure incidental bones are logged under the appropriate cost code.


:cop: Shall we go for whiskey and cigars later?

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




It's hightime for an NPC to call the player on their bullshit:

:v: So that's how you live your life? burgling people's property in the name of saving the world?!
:v: I see you killing that dragon, and giving not one poo poo about how the ecology here will adapt to this.
:v: yeah good job hero, creating all these new widows and orphans the city is not set to handle. GTFO!

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.







Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm



What's the appropriate thing to say when you burst into some peasant's hut and smash all their pottery? I usually just scream, but I feel like I could benefit from your services.

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Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

Konnichiwa, darin!

Lucky Guy posted:

What's the appropriate thing to say when you burst into some peasant's hut and smash all their pottery?

"I am Link, the Hero of Time, and I need these rupies."

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