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PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

sitting on a meeting where two pms are janitoring story points in rally for a project that's going to be taking place over the next four months. i tried telling them multiple times that all the estimates they're getting are worse than useless because we only have half the needed resources even allocated and available to make estimates, but even they have never done this kind of work before so their numbers are completely fabricated. then from their estimates they're just making up estimates for other work items where we don't even have anyone to work them yet but will also be new work for them if/when we even get them. now after spending several days getting all these :airquote: estimates :airquote: aligned they're now going through and fudging them so that everything aligns with what upper management expects

at one point they were panicking because the total points added up to being way over our expected deadline until i pointed out that testing/development happens mostly in parallel. they then used that point to cut our expected development timeline because we should be getting another developer which means the work will happen twice as fast!

i was explicitly brought into this role to prevent this kind of bullshit and no one is listening to me. most of the people here have clinical backgrounds or are basically kids who've never worked another job since getting out of school so i can't blame them for being terrible at managing software projects. i'm gonna start bitching loudly to my boss because this kind of bullshit isn't just this one project but is happening across every project i'm on where the PMs / business analysts treat *all* tech workers as second class citizens who "just don't get it" and if they don't want my help then best of luck to them, i'm going to go somewhere else

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PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

'ok so we need an estimate on how long it will take to set up this sandbox system'

i can't give you an estimate on that because we don't even know what technology we're going to use for it. there's half a dozen vendors to choose from and management still hasn't given us even a hint on what we're going to use. on top of that each of these vendors have multiple hosting / configuration options that we need to choose from. ON TOP OF THAT NO ONE ON THIS PROJECT OR IN THIS DEPARTMENT HAS EVER DONE THIS BEFORE

'.... ok so ten points'

:bang:

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

as i said i can't even blame them because the root of the problem is upper management demanding estimates while simultaneously dictating "suggesting" deadlines so the pms naturally feel intimidated into telling them what they want to hear

at the same time upper management correctly recognizes that what they're doing isn't effective but have also fallen into the, 'we'll do anything necessary just as long as it doesn't involve changing anything' trap

we just poached a new cto from amazon a few months ago who, as far as i can tell so far, seems to know what the gently caress he's doing. unfortunately he hasn't been around long enough to start issuing mandates so the old habits are still reigning supreme. i'm really considering just going straight to him to ask for a mandate that i can enforce. the department i'm in is small but we're essentially the spearhead for all development work for the entire company so our fuckups can cascade into colossally expensive ones while simultaneously if we do our job right it results in huge gains in efficiency. middle management has mostly existed in the hardware / clinical world their entire career and they're new to the whole software thing. so i don't blame them for sticking to what they know but what they know is 100% wrong

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

KidDynamite posted:

non-fibonacci pointing????

they just do 1/5/10 not because it makes more sense but because they havenít exposed to that dumb poo poo yet. iím sure theyíd 100% latch onto it if they heard about it

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

ultravoices posted:

best you can do is arrange the tasks and size them based on their relative complexity/effort

if you think you get from that exercise "oh this is going to take four weeks", i have a lovely bridge to sell you.

itís worse than that. our department is usually involved with derisking new technologies but due to lovely circumstances upper management has decided to accept that this hasnít been derisked yet and is in Ďdrat the torpedoes!í mode

fair enough. they know this is high risk and have acknowledged that in writing. the problem is middle management is now trying to use established processes for estimating this work when no one in the company has done this before or even fully understands what monsters could be lurking under the surface

so normally yeah if itís a new feature with an established code base you can sort of squint one eye, stick up your thumb, and take a rough guess at it. we canít do that here

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

Armitag3 posted:

i think i see the issue here, youíre trying to take estimates seriously when itís an open secret that theyíre about as useful as palm reading. just inflate the estimates as much as possible to give your team leeway

believe me i've been trying. the problem is we also have a deadline to hit on this because upper management said 'this *has* to be completed by this date*'

so if my inflation causes our overall estimate to exceed the deadline the pm nixes it and says our estimate is whatever number makes it work. this is my issue and why i'm sounding the alarm. we're just making up numbers to make things seem like everything is ok. we need to ensure management understands as early and clearly as possible that this is still very high risk

*and to be fair to upper management their deadline isn't just a random date they pulled out of their rear end either. i can't go into details but it actually is a meaningful deadline

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

fart simpson posted:

yes, i understand the risk. thank you for bringing it to my attention. anything else you wanted to talk about?

please get someone to fix the automatic soap dispensers in the bathroom only one has been working for like four months now

tia

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

InternetOfTwinks posted:

Thinking about building a new machine, this one's starting to get a bit long in the tooth and I've been wanting to experiment with setting up a personal server for various things. Is Newegg still the place to go for parts or is there a better outlet these days?

best buy is actually competitive now so give them a look in addition to newegg

pcpartpicker generally has price comparisons for a bunch of vendors for most parts you may want

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

lord fifth posted:

this is for my internship with a fortune 100 company

set up source control and start using it. don't ask for permission. just do it

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

the idea is anyone else seeing the intern working source control and being shamed into adopting it

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

InternetOfTwinks posted:

Yeah definitely don't push company IP to github lmao

[ask] me how i know our security red team is on the ball

one of our guys pushed one of his toy projects to his own personal repo. the code contained usernames, passwords, and server endpoints

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

Jonny 290 posted:

rippittsburgh



Tori they blaming this on antifa or crt yet?

e: lol at the image opto query params for this

apparently the train struck a dump truck loaded with stone. as far as i can tell the response from the city has been really drat good so far

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

Pollyanna posted:

c music s king gizz got covid and canceled :(

so in retribution tonight is NIN part 2

you missed a hell of a show. i saw them when they came through pittsburgh last week and it was incredible

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

i went to niagara falls for the first time this weekend. it was really cool

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

InternetOfTwinks posted:

cjs: power outage got me out of the zoom meeting, hell yeah

Should probably start looking at getting a UPS soon though, any recs?

i've been happy with my cyberpower

the first one i got burned out in a few months and when i called them for a replacement the guy on the phone said they normally ask to have it shipped back but i just had to cut the cable in the back and he'd trust me :v:

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

cjs: iím finally playing with docker for the first time. this is pretty slick ngl

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

hbag posted:

becoming incredibly tired and sweaty from doing 2 sets of 12 box squats

im very in shape

sets of 12 is probably a bit high if you're just getting started. it's not the end of the world or anything but you probably want to work on a standard 5x5 routine for a few months until your body adjusts to regularly being put under stress. at that point you will be comfortable with hearing what your body is telling you along with having a decent baseline of strength & stamina and you'll be in a good position to start pushing things in specific directions

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

Roosevelt posted:

me mum thinks im a slowly unfolding catastrophe at all times. when i was like 16 i got busted with weed and she thought i was doing ALL the drugs. i get asked all the time if i'm okay like i have a finger on some kind of terrible button. a few months ago she sent me a card that said something like "late bloomers are ok too" and signed it "thinking of you"

momshade hits the hardest

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

Jonny 290 posted:

all of the tinder/hinge/etc stories coming out just make me run screaming. like i know dudes are terrible. but god drat

i've had some pretty terrible dates from hinge & tinder BUT i also met my current girlfriend on tinder. i'm someone who's been chronically single for a variety of reasons my entire life and at the ripe age of 34 i have a relationship that's not just passing three months for the first time in my life but also doesn't feel like it's going to rattle apart at any moment. i have to keep reminding myself that we've been together for a while now as i still get flutters in my stomach when i see her come up on my phone or when i'm driving over to pick her up for a date. at the same time when she's staying for the weekend it doesn't feel like i have a visitor in my home; i feel completely at ease

if you'd asked me six months ago i was 100% in your boat on the whole 'i guess there's some people out there who are just meant to be single' despite all my efforts

not trying to change your mind or anything but something i came to realize when doing the online-dating song and dance is how effective a filter your friends are for prospective dates. 99% of the dates i went on i felt like i was talking to an alien and while i understood that these kinds of people were out there, actually sitting down and having a meal or a few drinks with one made it all the more real. part of online dating is accepting that the numbers are going to be way less in your favor and understandably a lot of people get burnt out on how much harder it is to find someone who even jives with you, let alone being a potential romantic interest. some people, like us, however fall through the cracks and don't manage to click with someone in time while we still have access to that filter

those people ARE out there though, probably just as frustrated at the whole situation as you are

PIZZA.BAT fucked around with this message at 13:56 on Jun 6, 2022

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

Jonny 290 posted:

i talked on the phone with my bestie and we shared Problems a bit and figured out basic game plans and i feel a lot better now. I'm going to go up to portand in august and we're gonna go to some nasty strip clubs and replace the mental funk with actual real funk. thank you all for letting me vent and just cry a little bit about how much everything sucks

hell yeah

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

DELETE CASCADE posted:

get drunk with your ex and have sex you'll regret

this is an important step to becoming an adult, imo

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

fart simpson posted:

i met my wife on the chinese version of tinder and weve been together for coming up on 6 years

long term healthy relationships with chinese characteristics

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

reminds me of my landlord when i was in singapore. he was an israeli expat who told me he liked it in singapore because, 'these people know their place'

:yikes:

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

Pollyanna posted:

like, itís gonna be hard to implement if not impossible, be janky and hacky if it ever works, touch a whole bunch of other teamsí domains, piss off a lot of principles, be awful and uncomfortable to use, and be quickly superseded by something that can do it a lot easier and is in fact designed to handle what we want to do.

we should not do this

our internal stack overflow clone tells me not to bother doing this

we should just wait until weíve moved over to the framework that helps us do this

why are we doing this

i know it's counter-intuitive but as long as you aren't a dick when pushing back you usually get more respect from it, not less

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

cjs: morale seems to be plummeting across the entire team. wonder if it has anything to do with the 2-3% raises and being forced to come back into the office

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

last two shows i saw before everything shut down was blockhead and rjd2. both were great shows

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

c first real relationship s: partner finally found the button she can push to make me :kimchi:

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

The Fool posted:

I didn't know what that is supposed to mean

Jonny 290 posted:

congratulations on your prostate exam

lol but no she just figured out how to annoy me but in a way that's really cute

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

graph posted:

this goes for all of yinz: buy yourself a nice bathrobe

i have a big plush llbean one its great

i also have the same llbean lands end robe and can confirm

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

cjs: getting really burnt out working with this one pm. sheís doing the classic terrible boss thing where sheíll create a jira ticket in a sprint to make sure some investigation work iím doing is covered but then steadfastly refuse to drop it when i come back and say itís not necessary anymore

in this case we learned from the stakeholder that our application is going to be launched slightly differently than we thought so i was looking to see if it was going to change our architecture at all. she wrote down, Ďconsult with the two top dog architects who are insanely busy about the changeí. i come back a few days later saying itís not a big deal and wonít have any impact on us so we can close the ticket. she is now convinced that i HAVE to set up a meeting with the two architects and every attempt i make at convincing her that i really donít want to bother them for something this inconsequential results in her trying to think up a reason i should bother them

itís now at the point where sheís now proactively setting up meetings with the stakeholders and TRYING to get them to add additional scope which can result in an architecture change so i have to set up that meeting. fortunately iíve been able to stonewall those conversations but jfc itís literally her job to hold back scope creep and sheís actively encouraging it now

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

some real grouches on this page wtf

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

i absolutely posted some pics from my track day in our standup teams room

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

Iíve legit never heard of it until now, which is confusing since most of you are around my age but speak of it like a timeless classic

it was basically the end of an era. the last casual game that you just paid for and got to play and that was it. that was the transaction

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

i'm gonna play some peggle

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

a meeting for tomorrow morning just hit my inbox

"Please join for a communication on an important topic related to our organization"

:rip:

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

fart simpson posted:

last time they did this at my job it was an announcement that they were cutting every employees salary by 10% for six months, globally, because of covid.

thankfully china actually has labor protections and thatís illegal here so it didnít apply to us

lol and also lol again

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

fart simpson posted:

hereís a third lol: because it was illegal here, they said if you wanted to chip in, you could go to hr to sign some paperwork to voluntarily cut your own salary by 10% and some people actually did it!

i can't even imagine how well that demonstration of loyalty ended up working out for them

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

Fortaleza posted:

poo poo, other new boss mentioned that a big effort in the company hasn't met a single deadline "but that's going to change!" and "it's going to be a possibly stressful but exciting time" gently caress you dude we'll see about that

lmfao

Ďwhy arenít the proles hitting the deadlines weíve arbitrarily pulled out of thin air? could our methodology be flawed? no. we must simply beat them harderí

youíre a fool if you havenít immediately started updating your resume after hearing that

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

PIZZA.BAT posted:

a meeting for tomorrow morning just hit my inbox

"Please join for a communication on an important topic related to our organization"

:rip:

massive reorg. most other departments are pretty much going to remain as they are but because ours was so weird weíre going to be splintered. all the architects above me are definitely going to the group that i want to be in while all of the engineers below me are definitely going to the group i dont want to be in. iím in a limbo that could go in either direction depending on how the horse trading upstairs goes

at least thereís no layoffs so thatís good

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PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

PIZZA.BAT posted:

massive reorg. most other departments are pretty much going to remain as they are but because ours was so weird weíre going to be splintered. all the architects above me are definitely going to the group that i want to be in while all of the engineers below me are definitely going to the group i dont want to be in. iím in a limbo that could go in either direction depending on how the horse trading upstairs goes

at least thereís no layoffs so thatís good

talked with the bossman. they still have a month to figure out who's going where and he has some influence on the process which means i also have influence on where i land. i'm mostly writing this out just to get myself to think about my options here but i'm also open to any input people may have here.

as far as i can tell there's 4/5 different 'pillars' i could wind up going to. my immediate reaction is there's one in particular that i want to go to and one that i 100% DO NOT want to go to. these two are the most likely places for me to wind up. the other two/three are less likely and would represent a junction in my career where i truly leave computer touching behind me.

architecture pillar : this is the easy choice for me. this is the pillar responsible for tech r&d and essentially would be a continuation of my current role. the catch here is that according to the slide the CTO shared this is reserved for architects & the highest tier engineers, which i'm just one level shy of so i technically don't qualify. if i do somehow manage to make it in here i'd essentially have nothing but open sky above me in terms of career ladder which is always a good thing, i'd be continuing the role i was brought in to do which is essentially to gently caress around and find out with emerging technologies. low stress, self managed, high visibility and impact, etc. there's basically nothing to not like about this. the problem is to get in either i have to be promoted or my boss / boss's boss (who will be the director of this team) has to horse-trade me in. my boss has said that there's going to be A LOT of incoming title changes to make this whole transition work so who knows

software engineering : I DO NOT WANT TO LAND HERE. this will be the pillar responsible for production support, building new commercial products and features, devops, release management, etc. if i land here i'll be at the top of the ladder rather than the bottom. so i'd be anchored in the engineering pillar and any promotion will require me justifying not just a title change but also moving to an entirely different pillar which would also mean whoever my manager winds up being letting me go. tight deadlines, pager duty, shitloads of meetings to discuss the drudgery of every tiny requirement in detail, etc. basically everything that i was trying to get away from when i took this job in the first place. with no input/influence from my boss this currently seems to be my most likely landing place. i'm making it very clear to him that I DO NOT WANT TO LAND HERE. gently caress.

qa : easily the most important function but also most underappreciated. normally this would be an easy no for me but interestingly the cto has placed himself as the director of this department which to me signals that he understands not only how important it is to get this pillar right but you also have to be completely unafraid to make enemies. if you want a job done right do it yourself and all that. in one of my consulting gigs i worked with a director who also understood this and assigned me to the 'colossal rear end in a top hat' role to overhaul their v&v process. it was really nasty and involved lots of raised voices, angry emails, rebellions, etc but because i had a backbone and the support of the director the entire department was effectively transformed after about a year of struggle. i'm not gonna lie having the chance to do it again is tempting and seeing that our cto understands the importance of getting this in particular right makes me want to take a swing at it.

po / pm : way less likely to land in either of these as i've never formally been in either of these roles but have done plenty of the work for this in my previous consulting life and on various projects here. if i pushed for either of these it would be a true fork in my career and i'd be leaving computer touching completely behind. i'm not sure if i'm ready for that but it's an interesting prospect. my boss could probably finangle me into one of these roles if i really pushed for it but i'm just not sure if i want to

thank you for reading oh also can i get some extra ketchup packets?

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