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Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

Everybody poops. But we don't talk about pooping enough.

With that in mind, I think we should discuss some of the types of poops that don't get enough coverage in daily life.

I think my favorite (least favorite) is the invisipoo. This is when you sit there. You poop. You know you pooped. Then when you look in the bowl after, it is empty. Where did the poo go? It was an invisipoo.

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hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009



ops posts

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

gently caress you

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004


Just enjoy the show.



Close thread goldmine

dr.acula
May 9, 2009

Billions and billions of fat clouds



The ones that are liquid and hot to the touch

Regarde Aduck
Oct 18, 2012

Fancy Stolas and the Kewl Kats

~OWL NEVER TELL :D


Grimey Drawer

Waltzing Along posted:

Everybody poops. But we don't talk about pooping enough.

With that in mind, I think we should discuss some of the types of poops that don't get enough coverage in daily life.

I think my favorite (least favorite) is the invisipoo. This is when you sit there. You poop. You know you pooped. Then when you look in the bowl after, it is empty. Where did the poo go? It was an invisipoo.

you prolapsed

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

4th dimensional poo

You might find it yesterday yet poo it out tomorrow

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.




Colonel Cancer posted:

4th dimensional poo

You might find it yesterday yet poo it out tomorrow

Ah, The Once and Future Poo

jazzyhattrick
Jul 1, 2010

GET OUT
(OF THE WALL)




I once had a perfect poop. Really needed to go, sat down and farted and shat at the same time, the fart must have created a kind of envelope around the turd as it shot out, because I swear it didn't touch the sides. Nothing on the paper afterwards.

All the relief and relaxation of taking a huge dump, but in the fraction of the time and with zero cleanup required. It was uncanny, really made my day.

I hope to one day take another perfect poo poo, but chances are I'll always be chasing that dragon :smith:

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm



jazzyhattrick posted:

I once had a perfect poop. Really needed to go, sat down and farted and shat at the same time, the fart must have created a kind of envelope around the turd as it shot out, because I swear it didn't touch the sides. Nothing on the paper afterwards.

All the relief and relaxation of taking a huge dump, but in the fraction of the time and with zero cleanup required. It was uncanny, really made my day.

I hope to one day take another perfect poo poo, but chances are I'll always be chasing that dragon :smith:

it is as the legends have foretold

Kosmo Gallion
Sep 12, 2013


My dumps laugh in the face of a flush.

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005




foot long strands of really thin dook. i call it angel hair. i have pictures if anyone wants to see.

hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009



spherical

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!


Wait time out guys I think I can find the old threads with the scientific pooping facts

precision
May 7, 2006

hug your posting pals


i assure you, i'm familiar with all of them

intimiately

Valko
Sep 17, 2015



"The Champagne Cork"

Maybe 20 years ago, in my dads bar. It was a Sunday and the place was closed for 4 hours during the day. 3 of my friends had called round and we were getting ready to head out. I had to use the loo first. The bathroom was all tiles, porcelain and metal - good acoustics for an echo. I somehow had really bad gas at the time along with mild constipation. It was like there was a hard plug of poo poo with a massive amount of fart gas behind it trying to force it's way out.

FFPOOM!!!

My friends were sitting at the bar, about 20 yards around the corridor and they could hear it. I could hear them too. "wow.... HAHAHAHAHA!"

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003

It's okay to watch child porn if you don't touch your dick, just raises awareness man.



A Winnie the Poo is when the turd gets stuck halfway out out your butthole and then when it finally shoots out, it gets stuck in someone else's butthole.

Alucard
Mar 11, 2002


Pillbug

Bristol stool type 0, it's literally you making GBS threads out a rock

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

Another type is the no wipe. You look down after wiping and think "I didn't have to wipe at all."

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020



poo doo: when the pooping hurts so bad you could swear someone is sticking a needle into the abdomen of a tiny effigy of you

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005




the hitchhiker. thats when you are constipated and have to stick a thumb up your own rear end to get things moving.

Legin Noslen
Sep 9, 2004
Fortified with Rhiboflavin

The half & half, in both color and consistency variety

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003



Grimey Drawer

I had the one where you feel the connection between gut and rear end in a top hat, and the amazing force between the two entities. A portal to the poo poo dimension opened up and there was just FORCE roiling and sending waves of brown through me into the bowl. The kind of poo poo you take your shirt off for.

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

Charles Bukowski posted:

I had the one where you feel the connection between gut and rear end in a top hat, and the amazing force between the two entities. A portal to the poo poo dimension opened up and there was just FORCE roiling and sending waves of brown through me into the bowl. The kind of poo poo you take your shirt off for.

Ok, George.

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003



Grimey Drawer

Cantstannja!

Peggy Edson
Oct 15, 2004



Waltzing Along posted:

Another type is the no wipe. You look down after wiping and think "I didn't have to wipe at all."

You can have this one every day. Get a bidet.

Rev. Melchisedech Howler
Sep 4, 2006

You know. Leather.


Certain kinds of poo down on the floor, you just don't see 'em

Billy Ray Blowjob
Nov 30, 2011


Scotch Mist

Jose
Jul 24, 2007





If I drink red wine I have dark green poo the next day

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003



Grimey Drawer


I wrote what I thought was a decent post for your lovely thread, show some effort.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)

my least favorite is the high pressure plug. it hurts its unpredictable you really dont know what youre getting into when your rear end hits the seat which is really inconvenient at work (5 min? 30 min? am I gonna sweat profusely?) and then once you pop that thing out it shoots so hard into the water you splash your balls and rear end. then comes the soft serve. that plug was really PLUGGING you up so its just like a torrent that might never and theres a high chance of plugging the toilet by sheer volume

then your previously wetted rear end and balls start mixing with sweat and you might be sliding all over the seat. then, because you feel gross and wet, you have no idea how much to wipe and how effective youre really being

really honestly i just hate that kind of poo i do not like it

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

No such thing as a bad poo, just a bad pooper

Peggy Edson
Oct 15, 2004



The Bristol Stepdown

This is when you have diarrhea that starts out as normal poop and progressively falls down the Bristol scale until it's just butt piss.

Samuel L. Hacksaw
Mar 25, 2007

I don't care about some gold stolen from nazi victims 80 years ago. It's just white noise.


My dog produced a turd that looked like a cam shaft the other day. Just a bunch of small off-center turds stuck together in one log.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

I was over at my pal's house playing Worms 2 or something when I really had to go. So I went to the toilet and a giant turd came forth but before it had dropped I felt a huge fart erupting, but it somehow went inside the turd and blasted it apart like a bomb. The whole inside of the bowl was covered in poo poo.

Naturally I related this sublime experience to my friend afterwards.

Wilkins Micawber
Jan 27, 2005

as we leave this existence
looking for another


Fallen Rib

The Bristol -1 : Poo poo so runny, you feel your very essence leaking into the toilet and when you leave the bathroom, part of your soul has been lost. This foul rite is known in dorking circles as the "poop horcrux"

Wilkins Micawber
Jan 27, 2005

as we leave this existence
looking for another


Fallen Rib

Mooey Cow posted:

I was over at my pal's house playing Worms 2 or something when I really had to go. So I went to the toilet and a giant turd came forth but before it had dropped I felt a huge fart erupting, but it somehow went inside the turd and blasted it apart like a bomb. The whole inside of the bowl was covered in poo poo.

Naturally I related this sublime experience to my friend afterwards.

This is unbelievably epic... :nice:

Wilkins Micawber
Jan 27, 2005

as we leave this existence
looking for another


Fallen Rib

Poop³ : When u r a sweet baby wombat or wombus and u poop. Rarer among humanoid creatures. (Aka "the briquette")

Wilkins Micawber
Jan 27, 2005

as we leave this existence
looking for another


Fallen Rib

"Great Gravy!" : Poop so scintillating and alluring in its design, it will attract any gravy-prone cat to rush to the commode and scramble it's way into into the bowl to perform a feasting ritual. Also known to attract wild cats/big cats

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hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009



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