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You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!





Is there no better vulgar rear end in a top hat character ever portrayed on film? I don't think so.

We are first introduced to Darnell when Arnie Cunningham purchases Christine and needs a place to put her. Right away, the man is a crass bastard to Arnie, but seems to harbor a hidden heart of gold by the way he treats Arnie's friend, Dennis (while still being a prick).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbaAsgDBx0c

Over time, Darnell starts warming up to Arnie and offers him a job running parts for his garage, but can still be a ruthless hardass when he needs to be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUBiQTvTF68

Unfortunately, Darnell made the mistake of calling Christine a polished turd and, well, he just had to die. And might I add quite possibly the stupidest way to ever die in a movie. "This car drove into my garage as a smoldering heap and no one was inside driving it. GUESS I'LL SIT IN IT AFTER BURNING MY HAND ON THE DOOR LOCK. :downsowned:"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8BfSnbFxj4

Poor Darnell. In the book, Darnell is killed in his own home by Christine as she crashes through the front of the house, giving him a fatal heart attack. I actually prefer the movie death since it's so ridiculous, but Christine had the power to possess people other than Arnie (in the book, but I think it's implied in the movie) and it's probably why he hopped into a burned-out car and why Moochie Welch just kind of stood there in the narrow loading dock as Christine barreled down on it instead of, you know, jumping over the car.

Anyway, I loving love Darnell so much. I know you do, too. His dialog and screen time is top notch. R.I.P., Robert Prosky.

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You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!



"Mechanical rear end in a top hat" is a top-notch phrase, btw.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



I'm watching this rn

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Op ur a shitter

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!




Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


I thought Christine was the one about the girl who gets blood poured on her at prom and then kills everyone with her special powers

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981



Devils Affricate posted:

I thought Christine was the one about the girl who gets blood poured on her at prom and then kills everyone with her special powers

No thats ur moms prom video

Lord Decimus Barnacle
Jun 25, 2005




Hell Gem

Devils Affricate posted:

I thought Christine was the one about the girl who gets blood poured on her at prom and then kills everyone with her special powers

I could see how you could think that but you are completely wrong. That was Kristine

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Christine was his sled

Ruby Gloom
May 8, 2004

i showed u my trash pls respond



defecated on the dashboard

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

beach side


Ruby Gloom posted:

defecated on the dashboard

:hehe:

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

beach side


btw i agree op

Bula Vinaka fucked around with this message at 23:29 on May 21, 2022

naem
May 29, 2011



Devils Affricate posted:

I thought Christine was the one about the girl who gets blood poured on her at prom and then kills everyone with her special powers

spooky supernatural nerdy women are my jam

Catastrophe
Oct 5, 2007

Committed to burn twice as long and half as bright

Christine taught me about anamorphic lenses so now I own one. Thank you, Mr Carpenter.

beer gas canister
Oct 30, 2007

W E L C O M E T O M Y C U S T O M T I T L E ! ! !



Plaster Town Cop

Bula Vinaka posted:

btw i agree op



lol dudes just don't grow into that shape anymore. they're both mid-20th century exclusive dudes

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

They need to remake Christine but instead of a car she's a computer and then we can update all the schlubs to their 21st century glory

Ambassadorofsodomy
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!


Lebay had an interesting back story in the book.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002



wow some guys were like "look at this good car" and the other guys were like "it is not a good car," thrilling

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002



sometimes you can make a big fat poo poo on a car like a BMW or a Mitsubishi and you poo poo on it

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

beach side


Chief McHeath posted:

wow some guys were like "look at this good car" and the other guys were like "it is not a good car," thrilling

gently caress you shitter!

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!


I had an idea of a remake set it in modern times and Christine is a late 80s model Camero that plays Hair Metal. Heck, might as well gender flip the cast too.

beer gas canister
Oct 30, 2007

W E L C O M E T O M Y C U S T O M T I T L E ! ! !



Plaster Town Cop

modern version a stock non-haunted Tesla. same kill count

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!



Bonzo posted:

I had an idea of a remake set it in modern times and Christine is a late 80s model Camero that plays Hair Metal. Heck, might as well gender flip the cast too.

I love this idea!

*as Cunningham is ejected through the windshield of the Camaro and is mortally wounded, he strokes Christine’s fiberglass grill one final time before dying. Cinderella’s “Don’t Know What You’ve Got (Till It’s Gone)” starts blaring supernaturally from the stereo*

Also, Cunningham grows a mullet and starts wearing denim vests with leather pants instead of becoming a greaser like in the original.

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Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008



beer gas canister posted:

lol dudes just don't grow into that shape anymore. they're both mid-20th century exclusive dudes

I work the shittiest fuckin job imaginable. Better wear a tie so I'm not mistaken for some sorta bum

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