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After posting some quick micro CYOAs at the Paradise Falls thread* while Diogenes was unavailable I received up to one (1) request to do something longer, which I still intend to do but I'll start with a couple quick ones *https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3550307&userid=120436&perpage=40&pagenumber=42 ----------------------------------------- The offbeat wedding (survival horror) The tedious mess of a wedding known as Katy and Dan's Special Non-Denominational All Vegan Fantasy Extravaganza just keeps going on and on: the food is bland, the drinks non-alchoholic and the constant readings from The Silmarillion would make Tolkien himself howl in anguish. Obvious actions are: Attempt small talk (who with?) Burst into the dance floor Consume foodstuffs Dry (as in non-alchoholic) bar Exit to DOS ------------------ > 
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May 22, 2022 16:36
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| # ? Jul 6, 2022 14:02 |
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> surreptitiously double check self to ensure fly is zipped
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May 22, 2022 16:37
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Mozi posted:> surreptitiously double check self to ensure fly is zipped > It is done. Your score has gone up 1 point.
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May 22, 2022 16:43
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>Spike the kombucha
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May 22, 2022 16:43
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> Inventory
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May 22, 2022 16:46
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>Milk parents of the Bride
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May 22, 2022 16:46
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> Look at your shoes
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May 22, 2022 16:47
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A. Look for someone who might also want to slip out for a couple of quick ones.
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May 22, 2022 16:54
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>D The dry bar seldom has a human observed such a sad view: bottles and bottles galore yet not a drop of liquor to drink! A 'Barman' is here Obvious actions are: Attempt small talk (who with?) Burst into the dance floor Consume foodstuffs Dope the kombucha Exit to DOS ------------------ >D Taking advantage of the bar attendant's texting break you spike the kombucha with everything you've got! People will find their mild headaches disappear despite not having (knowingly) taken any Paracetamol they will be so confused! A 'Barman' is here Obvious actions are: Attempt small talk (who with?) Burst into the dance floor Consume foodstuffs Exit to DOS ------------------ >
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May 22, 2022 16:54
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Consume the only non vegan food here (the people) 
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May 22, 2022 16:55
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the holy poopacy posted:> Inventory You are carrying: An empty box of Paracetamol Car keys A wine glass filled with pear juice A torn invitation (didn't work, you're still here) Your wallet (disturbingly light)
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May 22, 2022 16:57
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Infidel Castro posted:> Look at your shoes > it is done.
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May 22, 2022 16:57
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Big Beef City posted:>Milk parents of the Bride gleebster posted:A. Look for someone who might also want to slip out for a couple of quick ones. >A Leaving the dry bar behind you look to engage the parents of the Bride in conversation, and hopefully more. The patriarch of the family is sitting by the tables, looking distinctly under the weather. The Mother is currently busy talking up a gentleman hired you think to ensure the food is kosher. Obvious actions are: Attract the Mother with your wit (huh) Butter up the Father like you stood to inherit something Call up the Kosher Observer Digest something while you wait for the situation to change Exit to DOS ------------------ >
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May 22, 2022 17:05
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Slaan posted:Consume the only non vegan food here (the people) >As tempting as the thought of REAL MEAT is, you're quite sure you will be stopped before consuming a single person! You chew on an unsatisfying carrot stick instead.
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May 22, 2022 17:07
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>Butter up the father, with whatever vegan substitute is available
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May 22, 2022 17:22
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By popular demand posted:>A B. Dear old Dad. Mention the pear juice and watch for his reaction.
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May 22, 2022 17:30
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why dont u poop lol
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May 22, 2022 17:32
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Regurgitate the carrot and put it back among the vegan food. No one will notice
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May 22, 2022 17:37
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>B You take a sit by the Father's table, offering the sick looking man your pear juice. He almost seems to suddenly wake up, staring at you wide eyed. "Who... nevermind, can you keep a secret buddy?" after some buttering up it transpires that the Father is actually very drunk but in danger of quickly sobering up, you agree to go to his car and retrieve his stash of booze. Obvious actions are: And never look back, geeser's got a fancy ride and liquor! gently caress this wedding But what, did you not read the first option?! Come on buddy, are you glutton for punishment? Dump the contents of your stomach in the car, and you're not even drunk! (yet) End this someway else? how? ------------------ >
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May 22, 2022 17:47
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Nooner posted:why dont u poop lol > Vegan food stops you right up, tomorrow's gonna suck.
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May 22, 2022 17:51
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Take a Dump in the car! E: use the butter as needed to assist
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May 22, 2022 17:51
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Rugikiki posted:Take a Dump in the car! >It is done. More room for booze now! your'r score has gone up 2 fingers!
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May 22, 2022 17:53
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Bring the poor suffering guy some booze, c'mon. He was nice enough to share! Also why the hell can't we just leave on our own? Can't we be paged for urgent surgery reasons?
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May 22, 2022 18:33
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Volmarias posted:Bring the poor suffering guy some booze, c'mon. He was nice enough to share! Somebody was probably our ride. Would we have shown up to this boozeless carrotfest of our own volition? Agreed on bringing the nice Dad a drink, though. Time to break out the old bootlegging skills.
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May 22, 2022 18:36
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>E You take some liquor back Father's table, cunningly disguised as Dr. Barnes Special Veggie Tonic (not even vegans touch that stuff). "Thank you kindly...Bruno" says the man Evan though that to be Frank that's not your John Hancock. Sex is plainly off the table as the man quickly loads himself back to a sluring souse level of inibriation, You look about to find something else to occupy you: Obvious actions are: Alchy it up in this bitch! Burgle Father's pockets Call on someone else Drag the now catatonic Father somewhere (where?) Emit something foul and blame it on the drunk ------------------ >
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May 22, 2022 18:55
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By popular demand posted:I received up to one (1) request to do something longer I'm finally making a difference in the world  D Time for the Father of the Bride speech!
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May 22, 2022 19:05
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>D Dragging the Father to the podium and stabilising him in your best impression of 'just supporting a friend who's a bit sick', You use your heretofore unknown ventriloquist skills to give the good people a real what-for. When you exost your small list of real faults in the previously happy couple you start making up some new ones: The look on the Mother's face as her husband seemed to strongly imply there's some generic abnormality that will prevent any successful procreation is just unbelievable. This is almost fun enough to make up for this whole dreadful affair, but you eventually 'guide' back the Father to his seat and find yourself a nice vantage point where your giggling wouldn't be heard as you watch the bride and groom hash it all out in front of everyone. YOU WIN. Your final score is: it's late here and I'm sleepy. You rank as: Feel free to run your own micro CYOA ITT.
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May 22, 2022 19:20
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Now the difficult part: finding a ride home. Do we: A) Actually try to find the teetotal vegetarian who brought us to this yawnfest. B) Boldly strike out and take a car, any car. C) Call for a cab. D) Dun someone who we feel owes us a favor. E) Enjoy our new life here as a kitchen worker at the vegan event space.
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May 23, 2022 00:18
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gleebster posted:
Let’s GTA this jawn
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May 23, 2022 00:20
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>enter FotB’s car, we know it has booze!
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May 23, 2022 00:48
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Rugikiki posted:>enter FotB’s car, we know it has booze! Having the keys, you set out in the bride's father's car. Mumsy will have to fend for herself. About a mile down the road, you realize that the bride's father has crawled into the back to sleep it off. You are in possession of a stolen car, booze, and the bride's father, who might not remember you when he comes to. Do you: A) Abandon the car in favor of another transportation mode? B) Be cool, and head for the border? C) Collide with something in panic? D) Decide to wake Dad up, so he'll have a better chance to recognize you? E) Eh, something else. I'm not good at this.
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May 23, 2022 01:00
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StagE an elaborate crime scene involving booze, gun runners, arson, stolen Quebecois maple syrup and Texan cow rustler elected judges to point the finger for the stolen car at the bride's new sister in law
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May 23, 2022 01:32
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Slaan posted:StagE an elaborate crime scene involving booze, gun runners, arson, stolen Quebecois maple syrup and Texan cow rustler elected judges to point the finger for the stolen car at the bride's new sister in law Hell yeah. E: you're still around Gleebster?
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May 23, 2022 05:12
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.
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May 23, 2022 11:31
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By popular demand posted:Hell yeah. You take it, bI had to sleep
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May 23, 2022 12:59
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I'll be back in an hour, if you get to do it before me that's good too
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May 23, 2022 13:16
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We all know how these things end up, so... E. PULL OVER EXIT CAR OPEN REAR CAR DOOR CROUCH OVER BRIDE'S FATHER'S FACE POOP ON BRIDE'S FATHER'S HEAD
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May 23, 2022 13:23
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>go left
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May 23, 2022 13:44
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Slaan posted:StagE an elaborate crime scene involving booze, gun runners, arson, stolen Quebecois maple syrup and Texan cow rustler elected judges to point the finger for the stolen car at the bride's new sister in law >E "...And that's when I happened to walk by, Officer." you finish your story. -"well I'll be a Texan sister-in-law! who knew that right under our noses the Quebecois mafia was trading maple syrup liqueur for guns and arson!" says the policeman "And old judge Rustler is in on the whole deal too!" You nod along as the policeman names the bride's in-laws as prime suspects for locking the Father in his car and setting fire to it. Pity you can't brag about all the little touches you made to the crime scene, the mafia hit list written in maple syrup and signed with a cow's hoof (stolen of course) you are quite proud of. This has been a terrific evening and your surely relish the memories until you're old and senile. The end.
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May 23, 2022 14:50
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| # ? Jul 6, 2022 14:02 |
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New thing, new rules. ------------------------------------ No Sleep 'Till Brooklyn There's a bad moon in the sky tonight and a dead officer lying in his own blood in the middle of a busy street, this is promising to be one longass night and things will get dark by the time it's done. Looking at your badge you try to recall a bit of the pride you felt all those years ago when you received it but there's no more pride in you, this city, this precinct just sucked it all away. Kids you grew up with turned to mobsters or worse, cops. The neighbourhood seems darker and more labyrinthine then ever before. > Please describe: 1. Yourself (age, sex, species and up to two (2) interesting traits) (you get the BADASS trait for free) 2. Your partner (same guides) 3. Brooklyn (general feel, dominant population, The Mob)
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May 29, 2022 14:39
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