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rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
guy who gets asked a question, takes 20 seconds to turn his mic on to ask "sorry, I missed that, can you repeat the question" and then gives an answer that makes it crystal clear that he's been napping the entire time.

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rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

qirex posted:

guy who still uses his laptop's built in mic 2 years into remote work

its me, im the guy

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

Jonny 290 posted:

guy who specifically runs a movable webcam and points it at pet in the corner

this is the best kind of meeting guy imo

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
guy who talks for 5 minutes using nothing but words like "probably, you know, mostly kinda like how, uh, you know, the implementation is ah, you know, probably kinda uh probably" and whose net statement is "i dont know"

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

akadajet posted:

the really sexy guy without a shirt on


akadajet posted:

the really sexy lady without a shirt on

man am i ever in the wrong meetings

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
mister eating potato chips from the bag

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
at my old job back in 2008 before zoom calls we'd have a lot of conference calls where people would dial in and talk because we had a bunch of little offices and there was someone who had a parrot and we could never figure out who owned it or when or if the parrot would strike but every now & then there'd be just like the CFO talking about whatever and then BRAAAAAAWK and then we'd have to ask that whoever has the parrot please remember to mute and no one would ever admit to having the parrot.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

Jonny 290 posted:

neat, now this is a parroty thread

im goin to bed

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

Progressive JPEG posted:

i am actually the guy that talks about gardening for several minutes making the meeting run late

this is an ok type of guy to be imo

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
guy who attends meeting irl and forgets what a huge pain in the rear end conference room A/V stuff is

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
theres no rule that says a dog canít be on a zoom

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

qirex posted:

I liked the early pandemic rule that if a pet made an appearance the meeting was immediately halted and the owner had to introduce them on camera

this is still enforced in all my meetings

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

ardiem posted:

guy prefacing every answer with "that's a great question!"

in my experience this is a phrase that typically precedes a longwinded version of "I dont know"

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

psiox posted:

everyone loves that person unless i'm grossly mistaken :confused:

not a fan of the phrasing (you're just returning the time you stole from me, dont act like you're doing me a favor) but yeah i do indeed love a meeting that ends early.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
I was in a meeting and someone asked about the status of a project and a manager said - and this is a verbatim quote:

quote:

we liaised with relevant stakeholders and concluded that the project is not happenable given current constraints.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
i was absolutely in awe and immediately wrote it down. I have been unable to weaponize the phrase "happenable" but i remain optimistic for future efforts

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

I was literally rendered speechless

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

graph posted:

didnt gar try to make happenable a thing years ago

after being informed of the situation, Gar and I became aligned on vision and agreed to actively pursue complimentary goals.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

AnimeIsTrash posted:

guy who runs the startup and tells people theyre running long when they go over a minute

:twisted:

this is a good kind of peep unti he tells ME i'm running long and then he's a fascist rear end in a top hat

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
the thing is that 90% of scrums are actually status meetings and its ok to acknowledge that.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
I have found the rush to table anything that isn't "FEATURE A, NO BLOCKERS! NEXT!" can be taken too far. Sometimes people take a minute or two to get around to mentioning things that affect more people. There's a nice midrange where people have more than a minute - I was at one place that literally handed off a little 1 minute hourglass egg timer thing and if you ran out of time you had to stop talking and give it to the next guy - and just letting some guy drone on endlessly about his adventures with xml validation.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

PokeJoe posted:

Guy who always asks if you're sure your estimate couldn't be faster

this fuckin guy

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

carry on then posted:

my 4k monitors are easily enough to contain it but 30 seconds in to every time he shares someone has to ask him to make fonts bigger or something

its me, i'm the old guy telling people I can't read their 6 point fonts

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
i worked with a german guy who would use descriptive but abbreviated names but they were all in german.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
i always have my camera on because i hate talking to black boxes and I figure theres other people who probably do as well.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

Jonny 290 posted:

i grew up in the world of radio, it's natural for me to just...talk to people. I kind of get it though. however i hate 99% of peoples backdrops so

backdrops are for cowards or pranksters or artistes but mostly cowards

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rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

PokeJoe posted:

to me the black box is just like making a regular phone call :shrug:

i find the camera makes it a lot easier to signal simple things like yes/no, agree/disagree etc without unmuting. It's higher bandwidth communication. If I'm just listening to some allhands or whatever yeah I'll turn my camera off cause why bother but

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