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Star Wars came out 45 years ago. It was made for a different era, it doesn't quite fit with all of the prequel/Clone Wars content (or even itself, really, haha incesty kisses? gross lol!), the kids don't really identify with it anymore. And yet! All the prequel/CW stuff has to lead into something... but who says it has to lead into some stodgy old 70s movies made by some art fart dweeb director, when it could instead lead into new movies that have the action and fast pacing that modern audiences demand, and are carefully crafted to better interlock into the greater Star Wars Universe? "bbbb-b-but we can't recast the old characters! mark hamill and harrison ford are still alive" The 2009 Star Trek movie re-cast several beloved characters whose original actors were still alive. And some Star Wars characters have already been recast in other productions! "george lucas would be unhappy about it :(((((" Well then he shouldn't have sold off Lucasfilm. Also he's a billionaire so this sounds like a bonus to me "what about all these old books based on the old movies?" They'll still be around! Nobody's sending continuity enforcers to your home to forcibly seize non-compliant materials (not until key legislation is passed in Congress, anyway). You can continue to enjoy those stories about Han Solo fighting a giant space otter. So! When does Disney get around to redoing the "original trilogy" and what path do they take without being written ad-hoc by some weird nerds in the late 70s?
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May 28, 2022 00:01
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Disney already tried making a soft reboot and they really sucked at it, op
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May 28, 2022 21:35
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the hero with a specific licensed face
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May 28, 2022 23:47
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One of the few paths to replicating News Corp's genius acquisition of myspace
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May 29, 2022 01:45
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I say we reboot them to bring them more in line with the sequels, then later, we reboot the sequels to be more in line with our rebooting originals. Eventually the goal is to create such a difficult oroborous of copyright that nobody in 2080 when this enters public domain will bother.
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May 29, 2022 12:27
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NO!
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May 29, 2022 15:11
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Now I know Jack Harlow has negligible acting experience to be our Luke, but thats why we cast an all star veteran to be our Obi-wan, Drake
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May 29, 2022 15:27
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by 2050, every movie will have to be legally classified as a star wars remake regardless of content
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May 29, 2022 17:03
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yeah go for it. could call them "special editions" or something.
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May 31, 2022 18:50
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They should do an alternate 4, 5, and 6 where Anakin never became Vader and the Jedi won the clone wars. No, I haven't already posted this on fanfiction.net, stop looking at me like that
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Jun 5, 2022 07:40
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istewart posted:They should do an alternate 4, 5, and 6 where Anakin never became Vader and the Jedi won the clone wars. They did win the Clone Wars. They just failed in their Coup attempt, unless thats what you meant. I guess it would be hilarious to see alternate universe deeply religious Han Solo Barudak fucked around with this message at 07:49 on Jun 5, 2022 |
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Jun 5, 2022 07:46
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When Disney perfects their deepfake tech
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Jun 5, 2022 09:58
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Could have a pretty dope ending where Luke kills an aged Pontiff Obi-wan. "I am a sith, like my father before me"
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Jun 5, 2022 14:47
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Owen Lars' vaporators work fine, Luke goes to the Imperial Academy, becomes TIE Fighter pilot. (Obi-Wan left frantically figuring out how to solve this latest hilarious fuckup.)
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Jun 5, 2022 15:58
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The Lego Halloween Special did that one:
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Jun 5, 2022 21:48
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I want to go to the alternate universe where David Lynch directed Jedi.
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Jun 6, 2022 00:58
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Listen people want two things, they want violence and sex, so lemme tell ya, let the wookie gently caress
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Jun 6, 2022 01:19
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"But sir, nobody worries about cock-blocking a droid." "That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets if they don't get laid."
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Jun 6, 2022 02:54
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Madurai posted:Owen Lars' vaporators work fine, Luke goes to the Imperial Academy, becomes TIE Fighter pilot. (Obi-Wan left frantically figuring out how to solve this latest hilarious fuckup.) I think he has to try to get a janitorial or cafeteria job then to try convincing Luke to leave. Altho there'd also be good odds on Luke just following his good friend Biggs.
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Jun 6, 2022 02:54
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JEDI has a lot of problems that I wish I could go back in time and fix. Jabba living on Tatooine rather that on some distant plant makes Han and Greedo retroactively dumber. The second Death Star and second family reveal were both repeats of story ideas and should have replaced by fresh ideas or dismissed. Obi-Wan's reveal could have handled better. "I had two apprentices, one named Vader, one named Anakin. They fought and Darth Vader returned. I did not know until you fought him that it was your father who survived. The Sith hide their secrets well." Leia's comment about the Empire getting weaker and the Imperial officers comment about the Empire losing control without the threat of the Death Star never paid off and should of in the third movie. George had no idea what to do with Yoda other than to have him nope out. Either have him at the beginning of the movie training Luke or at the very end of the movie as Luke goes to finish his training having defeated the Emperor & saved his father.
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Jun 6, 2022 20:58
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Darth Brooks posted:JEDI has a lot of problems that I wish I could go back in time and fix. They demonstrate this, though. In the first movie, the Rebels are scraping together starfighters and hiding them in abandoned buildings. By ROTJ they have a real live battlefleet. It demonstrates that they have more and more support as more planets throw in against the Empire.
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Jun 6, 2022 21:13
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Fair enough.
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Jun 6, 2022 21:41
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Mister Kingdom posted:I want to go to the alternate universe where David Lynch directed Jedi.
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Jun 7, 2022 01:57
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Darth Brooks posted:JEDI has a lot of problems that I wish I could go back in time and fix. Some of these are things that had actually been considered before going with the current version: Jabba was originally going to live on a grassy planet called Sicemon. They then changed Sicemon to be the location of the Rebel base, which required putting Jabba somewhere else. Eventually the Rebel Base idea was dropped, but Jabba stayed on Tatooine. In the early outlines there were at least a couple scenes dealing with Obi-Wan's lie, with Luke berating him for not telling him the truth, and then later forgiving him when he understood why he did it. Early on when Lucas was trying to figure out Anakin's backstory, he also considered the idea of Vader being controlled by the Dark Side in a much more literal way, with Luke having to find away to break the evil spell that was controlling his father's mind - meaning that Ben thought Vader did kill Anakin, because Vader was some kind of Dark Side ghost. The multicultural Rebel fleet implies that the Rebellion has grown significantly, but the rough draft also has the Empire building two Death Stars to protect its capital and implies that they're building them because there are so many planets joining the Rebels. Yoda had a bigger role in the early drafts as well. He still died, but it was treated more as him ascending to another plane of existence so that he could aid Luke on a cosmic level. Eventually they just decided to make Yoda actually die because the final battle with the ghosts just hanging out on the sidelines and cheering Luke on was kind of lame, and making him choose to face Vader and the Emperor without that safety net would be more impactful.
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Jun 7, 2022 02:03
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yodas death also kind of helps reinforce that luke was making a tradeoff by running to bespin in ESB. he didnt turn to the dark side, but he missed his chance to learn more from yoda, despite his intentions. if he could just pick up where he left off, then there would have been no real sacrifice beyond losing his hand, which was easily replaced
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Jun 7, 2022 04:13
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I guess what I'm really curious about is, if you showed someone just the Clone Wars shows and the prequel movies, where would they take it from there?
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Jun 7, 2022 06:23
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I read about one early draft of Luke's final confrontation with the Emperor where Obi-Wan manages to come back and physically manifest to help Luke, while Yoda can only assist spiritually, and provides Luke with some kind of shielding from the Emperor's lightning where Yoda's ghostly image appears every time he blocks. I think that draft also had stuff about the Emperor's throne room being at the imperial capital in a chamber deep in the planet's crust somehow surrounded by magma. Lot of neat ideas, but ultimately a lot of junk that distracts from Luke and the Emperor and Vader and the fate of the galaxy as a whole. I think it makes sense for the older generation to have to stand aside regardless of their misgivings on Luke and the movement as a whole. Darth Brooks posted:Jabba living on Tatooine rather that on some distant plant makes Han and Greedo retroactively dumber. The second Death Star and second family reveal were both repeats of story ideas and should have replaced by fresh ideas or dismissed. Well, in the original cut, the movie already had the idea that Jabba was at the hangar waiting for Han, so it seems like Jabba being on Tatooine was a pretty early idea. Leia being Luke's sister, weird and doesn't add much, and honestly while I don't mind it in the movie itself, that became the basis for Disney's branding of the three trilogies as "the Skywalker Saga", despite starring characters not named Skywalker, which actually really makes the whole movie series sound a lot more shallow and less expansive. The second Death Star I think is okay, but in retrospect, I do wish there was some kind of dialogue about how making another Death Star was some kind of ridiculous hail mary that would never fully work (to stabilize the Empire even if it would do a lot of damage) and a sign that the Empire was on its last legs and running out of ideas, just because if there was some kind of highlighting of the whole thing, maybe the bulk of the franchise wouldn't turn into a succession of knockoff almost-death star superweapons. The franchise as a whole also puts a lot of background and buildup into the conception and creation of the first Death Star, but nobody cares to put any background into the second Death Star, so in retrospect the second Death Star doesn't seem to add much to the franchise as a whole even if it's an okay idea for the Emperor to be using it to lure the Rebel fleet to its doom. Maybe if it was more about attacking the capital, but then a lot would have to get reworked.
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Jun 7, 2022 07:05
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:I guess what I'm really curious about is, if you showed someone just the Clone Wars shows and the prequel movies, where would they take it from there? The first movie might be pretty similar to The Force Awakens, actually. The prequels started to introduce the Death Star, but the characters were way more central to everything than the technology, so maybe "the Empire is after a map to Yoda" could be the initial driver of the plot. Reuniting Luke and Leia as siblings would also be high priority for the story. Maybe Leia's headed to Tatooine with her part of the map to try and get the other part from Obi-Wan, when the Empire intercepts them and she has to stow away in an escape pod with the droids (if they want to get really grim with it, maybe Threepio is killed by Vader early on to show how truly evil he is). Crashing in the desert, Leia and R2 might seek shelter at Anchorhead and come across Luke goofing off with his friends. Maybe she sees the dashing Biggs holding court and regaling them with tales of the academy, and assumes that he must be the long-lost brother she's heard about, treating Luke like some sack of poo poo hanger-on until she learns his name is Skywalker. Then she treats him like a sack of poo poo hanger-on who happens to have the same mom as her. The Empire could attack Anchorhead, so Luke pulls Leia into his skyhopper and proves himself a capable pilot, racing through the old Podracing course and losing the Empire's ships that are after them before crashing and forcing them to stumble through the desert until they reunite with Kenobi. He may or may not tell them the truth about Vader, but after his failure with Anakin there's no way he can trust himself to train them and agrees to help them reach Yoda. With the Empire searching for them though, they'll need to hire less-than-legal transport offworld. Heading to the seedy part of town, there's tension as Obi-Wan has to bite his tongue to hire the only gun tough enough to run the Empire's blockade... the notorious Jedi-hunting mercenary Boba Fett. Maybe Luke starts playing with the saber during the trip and Fett sells them out to the Empire, and they all get captured by the Death Star (including Boba, who's a notorious criminal). Fett has to put aside his hatred of the Jedi and work with Luke to break out of the prison while Leia is brought to the battle station's bridge and has to choose between selling out Yoda and letting her planet die. They could do all the same breaking-out stuff as in the original movie, complete with Obi-Wan fighting Vader to allow them to escape. Except they wouldn't head to the Rebel base (since the Birth of the Rebellion scenes were cut from Episode 3, there's no reason to think it exists). Instead, Fett could take them to some Takodana-esque criminal hideout and Leia has to convince the scum of the galaxy to do the right thing and attack the Battle Station that's coming to destroy their planet. Most of them would probably leave, but a few might stay behind to make up the motley spaceforce, with the battle playing out mostly the same, including Fett coming back at the last minute to save the Jedi kid from Vader. Probably no medal ceremony - instead they all get drunk at the spaceport cantina and make the incredibly stupid decision to start a real Rebellion. After all, they destroyed the Death Star, it's not like the Empire will strike back, right? And then in the middle of the night, Leia takes R2 & the saber, and sneaks off to complete her mission, with the movie ending on a cliffhanger has she finally locates Yoda in seclusion on Dagobah... Robot Style fucked around with this message at 07:41 on Jun 7, 2022 |
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Jun 7, 2022 07:36
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My idea for the opening to a revised JEDI would have been to start with a pan across a star destroyer after the opening crawl, only a third of the way it begins to show battle damage and the last third is missing. The camera pans around to show other star destroyers in similar shape. Then the shadow of an active star destroyer comes over them and a shuttle leaves it for a meeting between Darth Vader and a representative of Jabba the Hut. The conversation establishes that the Empire is offering a reward for Luke's capture and that the pirates are confident of their trap. This would then swipe to Luke getting ready to leave Yoda after an obvious extended training time. Maybe he has the start of a beard. This would be where Ben has his conversation about Vader and the danger he and the Emperor represent.
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Jun 7, 2022 08:10
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SlothfulCobra posted:I read about one early draft of Luke's final confrontation with the Emperor where Obi-Wan manages to come back and physically manifest to help Luke, while Yoda can only assist spiritually, and provides Luke with some kind of shielding from the Emperor's lightning where Yoda's ghostly image appears every time he blocks. I think that draft also had stuff about the Emperor's throne room being at the imperial capital in a chamber deep in the planet's crust somehow surrounded by magma. The second Death Star should have been entirely bait - like it wasn't even a real one or even functional - and was built only as A TRAP.
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Jun 7, 2022 17:43
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Like gently caress are you going to let Palpatine set foot on a battle station that is any less than fully operational.
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Jun 7, 2022 18:49
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SlothfulCobra posted:Like gently caress are you going to let Palpatine set foot on a battle station that is any less than fully operational. To be fair anyone who objected would have got their face melted off from lightning as a warning to the others
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Jun 7, 2022 19:53
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Palpatine, not the Death Star, was the bait. The Death Star was the trap. I thought that came across pretty clearly.
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Jun 7, 2022 20:41
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:I guess what I'm really curious about is, if you showed someone just the Clone Wars shows and the prequel movies, where would they take it from there? ngl when I think "Star Wars" now I think primarily about the Clone Wars, and I grew up on the OT
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Jun 12, 2022 22:13
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Madurai posted:Palpatine, not the Death Star, was the bait. The Death Star was the trap. I thought that came across pretty clearly. "Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station. Fire at will, commander. " *Command Officer leans in to whisper something to Palpatine who immediately gets a shocked, crestfallen look on his face. Luke just looks annoyed.*
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Jun 13, 2022 00:41
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Obi-Wan and Bail swap bundles:
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Jun 14, 2022 19:11
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drat, Luke's really strong with the Force there, iykwim
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Jun 14, 2022 20:45
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Star Wars movies should be remade every 3 years. Yes, this may mean that trilogy remakes overlap. However, this is the only way to ensure that dollars continue to flow into Disney. The IP must be exploited steadily and constantly. This is the will of Disney, so say we all.
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Jun 17, 2022 08:44
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We remake them, but we do it all with muppets.
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Jun 17, 2022 15:54
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Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:We remake them, but we do it all with muppets. This is the only acceptable way.
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Jun 18, 2022 19:00
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