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Panic Restaurant
Jul 19, 2006

:retrogames: :3: :retrogames:



Pork Pro
I looked all over and didn’t see a thread so I’m making one today for obvious reasons. Hopefully this is a good spot for it.

I gotta make some concrete steps towards getting a vasectomy, especially since at this point it feels like one of the only concrete things I can do that won’t get me banned or thrown in jail (yet). :d2a:

While I feel powerless in the face of everything, exercising (and destigmatizing) my own bodily autonomy as that of others is assaulted seems like one of the most important actions I can take. Also maybe help some other goons end their bloodlines??

I’d like to hear from others who’ve had it done what their experience was like, the recovery time, etc. Not thrilled at the idea of having to be conscious while it’s done but I guess it’s not something you’re usually put under anesthesia for?

I’m mainly scared about some people who experienced chronic pain after the procedure, but a lot of that was from Reddit and part of me is convinced that posts like that are part of some sort of christofascist psyop, because we live in extremely normal times. I feel like I’d hear more about it if getting sentenced to a lifetime of non-consensual CBT was a common occurrence?

I don’t want kids and neither does my partner so that’s a total non-issue, but I still live with my family so there’s no way they won’t notice me holding a bag of Rosebud frozen peas over my junk for a week or whatever, boy am I REALLY not looking forward to that conversation!!!

I also have no idea if this is generally covered by insurance, but based on some quick googling it usually is I think?

Thanks in advance for any advice and in conclusion,

*Papa Roach Voice*

Cut my vas into pieces, gently caress the Supreme Court

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sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan
My doc was a huge st Louis cardinals fan and so the bathroom was red and had cardinals poo poo everywhere. That was the worst part.

Otherwise procedure was fine, 5 minutes with a slight pinch, slight bad smell, 100 percent effective, no babies in 8 years so far

Oh if they tell you to rest for a bit afterwards, do it. I tried to get up too fast and passed out.

Woke up to a bunch of worried nurses and my wife looking down at me and I was laying on the ground

Thesaurus
Oct 3, 2004


the procedure no biggie op. You do need a few days to lay around and ice up, however, so that will probably be hard to conceal if you're at home.

Your insurance probably covers it.

fwiw, reversals are significantly more complicated in terms of the procedure and recovery, and not covered by any insurance.

Mr. Fall Down Terror
Jan 24, 2018

by Fluffdaddy
apparently i have an unusually thick scrotal wall :shrug: so i had to be put under for mine which upped the cost as i required a full surgical suite. out of pocket i paid a thousand bucks but iirc thats more than the whole procedure costs if you get the usual quick snip, normally it's just local anesthetic and they just cut a little hole in your ballsack, pull the cords out enough to cut and suture them, then stuff them back. in and out, done, minimal holes created so minimal recovery time

the recovery isn't too bad, its annoying to have constant ball ache for a few days but this is THE time to pull out the "i got cut for us, pamper me" card on your partner. i just took a couple days off work and spent all day playing video games while my wife brought me poo poo. i even got some slick compression shorts with a ball pocket for an ice pack, i use them when i go hiking. icing your junk on a hot day in the forest is a rare pleasure

your insurance will probably cover it, vasectomies are cheap and definitely cheaper than paying for a birth. i was warned about the permanent ball pain and i too feared that outcome but after a day or two i was fine and after the stiches fell out it was like it never happened

some_admin
Oct 11, 2011

Grimey Drawer
Don’t sweat it. They’ll numb you up, the laser smell is a little odd but it’s like a 5 minute procedure.
Listen to the doc when they say “don’t do anything for a day”. I though I could shovel snow that afternoon and that was a huge mistake. Sit your rear end down with an ice pack and watch tv and slowly get back to actual exertion over the following few days.

Now, the vasectomy reversal 15 years later was quite an experience. Expensive! painful! ineffective!

Thesaurus
Oct 3, 2004


some_admin posted:

Now, the vasectomy reversal 15 years later was quite an experience. Expensive! painful! ineffective!

:hfive:

OneSizeFitsAll
Sep 13, 2010

Du bist mein Sofa
First of all, I have not had the procedure. I have looked into it out of interest and discussed it with my wife. A minority of people do experience problematic chronic pain issues. I don't know the exact statistic - I've just had a quick google and seen different figures, probably depending on source and how they are categorising "chronic pain". I think the upshot is it is a minority, but probably not a vanishingly small one.

For what it's worth, my wife is part of a physician mothers WhatsApp group that discussed this a while back. A number of the women who worked in urology said they would be anti-their husbands getting the procedure done, due to patients they had seen with ongoing pain.

At the same time, the majority of people get it done and have no issues, removing the need for their partners to have hormone-meddling contraception like IUD or the pill, and it has big benefits for their sex lives.

I would do some rigorous research into the statistics from reliable sources and then make a risk-reward decision based on that and how much you want to do the procedure.

skipdogg
Nov 29, 2004
Resident SRT-4 Expert

I had my vasectomy done about 7 years ago.

Insurance covered the procedure for a 25 dollar co-pay.

The procedure itself was quick, painless, and not a big deal at all. Getting my ears pierced with a 16 gauge needle when I was a teenager, or getting a tattoo was much more painful than the vasectomy. I've had dental work that was more uncomfortable/painful as well. There was some minor discomfort, as you can still feel some tugging while the procedure is being done, but not a big deal at all. I was pretty numb.

The whole thing took maybe 8 minutes. Drop your pants, lay down on the table, they disinfect the area, and you feel a couple pinches as they numb you up. I had a single incision done, you feel some slight tugging as they fish out and cut the vas, the burning smell is a little off-putting, and then I got a single stitch in the incision to close things up.

I had really no pain after the procedure. I didn't even get the pain meds filled (Doc did give me 50 tramadol if needed), and didn't really use too much ice. The key was to keep tight compression style boxer briefs on. Keep the testicles supported. I switched back to regular boxer briefs after 3 days and that was a mistake. I was a little sore after that but nothing Ibuprofen couldn't handle.

My spouse does not do well with hormonal birth control, and honestly the vasectomy was such a minor procedure it made the most sense for our long term birth control goals. Zero regrets. I've had zero ongoing/chronic pain.

A++ would snip again.

StdNormDist
May 2, 2010
It was by far the easiest surgery, both in terms of the procedure and recovery, that I've ever had.

When I had mine done they put the little paper surgical screen up at my waist so I couldn't see it. They gave me a Xanax to take beforehand and aside from some pinching and pulling feelings, it was painless. I chatted with the urologist about public transit during the process, he packed about a pound of cotton in my shorts, and I was off.

Listen to everyone when they say you're gonna want to do *nothing* for at least a couple of days. I played Skyrim in bed, and was able to hobble around OK after the third day or so. You'll have a dull ache, especially when you move, for about another week. For a few months after that if they got particularly jostled my nuts got the same sort of dull ache for a little bit, but after that they were alright.

If you get it done, don't be a dummy and bust in your uterus-having SO until you get your second negative sperm test. There's too many stories about oops babies happening because people got too excited and forgot that sperm, unlike piss, is not actually stored in the balls.

My quality of life definitely bumped up a bit afterwards. I never wanted kids and never having to worry about them was a huge weight off my mind. Both my sexual partners since I had it done loved it. I love it. Couldn't recommend it enough if you're *sure* you don't want more kids. Don't consider it something you can reverse because chances are you'll just waste a bunch of money and go through way more pain than the vasectomy itself.

Tall Tale Teller
May 20, 2003
Grave? Shovel! Let's go.

My phone rang during the procedure and the urologist urged me to answer it because it would be funny.

It was my best friend calling and it was pretty good when I told him what was happening.

15 minutes, numb nuts, a pinch and surgery was done. I had a lifting restriction for a week, healing pain for three days or so but no long term side effects.

Get it done, you won't regret it and it's barely surgery. They just snip your vas defferens and cauterize it.

UnkleBoB
Jul 24, 2000

Beginner's Version, Copyright,
1991 - Please Copy and Distribute
Had mine for 14 years now. Quick outpatient procedure, as everyone says. I went with a guy who has billboards all over Florida. He's done tens of thousands of them. No needle, no scalpel. I got to sit on my elbows and watch as it happened, since I was curious.

Recovery was sitting on a couch as long as I could stand to. Definitely don't do anything strenuous.

I was out-of-pocket $100 for it. Best decision ever.

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

Just to echo what others have said; it was quick and easy, recovery time was short, and I can cum in my wife 25/8 no worries.

Borlorg
Jul 1, 2022

by Azathoth
Got mine done back in 2010. Went to the same urologist who got this guy fixed up: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_and_Lorena_Bobbitt

I've figured if he could put that guy back together, I certainly can trust him with snipping a couple of wires. Was really sore the next 2 days but then the pain wore off and that was it. 100% satisfied after all these years.

azflyboy
Nov 9, 2005
I had one in March, and it was pretty straightforward. With insurance, I paid about $400, and the recovery was basically "stay on the couch for the first 48 hours". Without insurance, it wouod have been about $700, but I didn't exactly shop around, so I don't know if you can get it done cheaper.

If I had a desk job, I could have gone back to work in a couple days, but I took about 5 days off to make sure I wasn't going to pop a stitch. There was a little soreness, but nothing Advil couldn't take care of.

The entire thing was done under local anesthetic, and I was prescribed a couple of valium to take before the procedure, so I don't remember most of it.

PreacherTom
Oct 7, 2003

I want to prank them for hours in my basement...
You're not going to believe how good an ice pack can feel.

And LISTEN to your doc when they tells you to hold off for a while before heading back to the firing line. That essentially pressure-tests the cautery - you want to let that heal a bit beforehand. Trust me there.

After that, get your 20 rounds in and never look back!

SavageGentleman
Feb 28, 2010

When she finds love may it always stay true.
This I beg for the second wish I made too.

Fallen Rib
So no chronic pain from any of the goons that answered - that's good!

saintonan
Dec 7, 2009

Fields of glory shine eternal

PreacherTom posted:

And LISTEN to your doc when they tells you to hold off for a while before heading back to the firing line. That essentially pressure-tests the cautery - you want to let that heal a bit beforehand. Trust me there.

100% this. I had mine done 8 years ago. The doc said 72 hours without any strenuous activity, especially *that* strenuous activity, but we only made it about 36 hours before curiosity got the best of us, and that was a non-fun experience and set back my recovery a few more days.

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan
Yep. The kid and the wife went on a trip over my recovery weekend. I sat in the recliner and watched Scorsese movies on repeat for 72 hours while getting absolutely hammered.

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer
I, being female, have never had a vasectomy, but a family friend did; I took his kids out for the rest of the day and made sure to bring some bags of frozen peas over when I dropped them off later. He echoed the statement of relaxing, no sex for a while, and get your post checkups because you do not need an oops.

mlnhd
Jun 4, 2002

I had the no needle no scalpel surgery on Monday. I went back to work on Wednesday and everything is feeling fine. The wound has already healed. There is no swelling.

The post op instructions from my doctor said icing is not necessary and can have protected sex after 3 days.

Everyone should get the NNNS surgery if you can find someone to do it. The traditional way is barbaric by comparison. I was in and out in 30 minutes

This is the guy who did mine. There is a very thorough description of the procedure: https://nostork.com/vasectomy/no-needle-no-scalpel-vasectomy-procedure/ NWS contains a drawing of a penis and balls

mlnhd fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Jul 29, 2022

Vinny the Shark
Oct 11, 2005
I've been considering getting this done for a while now. Did any of you guys drive yourselves back home afterwards? I'm single and don't have a partner. I never enjoyed taking Uber or Lyft, but if I have to I will.

mlnhd
Jun 4, 2002

My spouse came along for support in the OR, but I feel like I could have driven myself home.

limp_cheese
Sep 9, 2007

You call parking a super-sonic jet in front of a titty bar inconspicuous?! Who taught you how to be a spy, FUCKING GALLAGHER?!

Has anybody gotten one from the VA? I assume its the same as private practice but wanted to ask.

I'm becoming more and more convinced I should get one because of my age. I'm 36 and single, and I don't rush into big things like marriage so the earliest I would have a child is 40. I don't want to be in my 50s trying to raise a teenager, or going to a college graduation in my 60s.

mlnhd
Jun 4, 2002

As bad as they are in general, the r/childfree subreddit maintains a list of reproductive care doctors, including those that sterilize men and women, with no questions asked. Check it out to see if any VA providers are in there.

Greg Legg
Oct 6, 2004
I had one last week. Recovery is easy, just get some compression shorts and no heavy lifting for 10 days. I only felt pain when getting out of a chair, and even that was only for the first four days after the operation.

I didn't ice my balls afterwards or anything. I just used it as an excuse to take it easy for a few days.

edit:

Vinny the Shark posted:

I've been considering getting this done for a while now. Did any of you guys drive yourselves back home afterwards? I'm single and don't have a partner. I never enjoyed taking Uber or Lyft, but if I have to I will.

I drove home afterwards.

Greg Legg fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Aug 1, 2022

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard
I had one. Easy peasy. I have anxiety, but I just laid my head back during the procedure and took deep breaths and it was over.

Nth-ing just take it easy for a day or two. Wear some more supportive underwear.

On the third or fourth day I helped a friend move which was no problem, except for at one point I hopped off a truck tailgate and the landing caused some unpleasant jarring. Even then I was fine in a minute or two.

If you are sure you're never going to want kids it's a no-brainer.

Uncle Enzo fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Aug 1, 2022

bad dragon breath
May 16, 2009
I wrote this a year after my vasectomy, it's been five years now with no issues.

I got a referral from my doctor, consulted with the urologist (basically just verifying that I had appropriate anatomy) and got the surgery a few weeks after. I had read some literature and was not worried about post-vasectomy pain as I don't have a history of chronic pain and my father has had a pain-free vasectomy as well.

I had a no-scalpel vasectomy around lunch with both ends of the vas clipped. The surgery was over in 15 minutes and I had no issues - the needle felt at most like a pinch. I waited the mandated 20 minutes then took a cab home. I had a 3.5-day weekend spent mostly in a comfy chair being attended to by my wife. I iced my groin the first few hours and took NSAIDs. I actually had no pain on the left side, only some twinges on the right when my testicles shifted (I blame the urologist letting an intern clip/cauterize that side).

I was back at work after the weekend (took the bus in), back walking long distances after 6 days and back biking and at the gym after two weeks. I feel like I could've gone back earlier but there wasn't much harm in waiting longer. My first ejaculation was ~4 days after and there was a bit of blood present but no blood after that.

I had slight twinges of pain on the right side (felt like poking a bruise) for about two weeks but no pain after that. I did the semen analysis test 90 days after the surgery and showed 0 sperm.

Since then I've abandoned condoms and life's been great. No pain whatsoever or change in semen quantity/quality, the only physical change is that my testicles have physically gotten a bit larger. My wife has also stayed not-pregnant. The surgery was free, the cab ride was the most expensive part.

For me, it's been a very simple and problem-free experience. I would definitely recommend it. Consider freezing some sperm first if you think there's a chance it will ever be in demand, that costs about $100/month around here and has a higher chance of success than a reversal.

devicenull
May 30, 2007

Grimey Drawer

Vinny the Shark posted:

I've been considering getting this done for a while now. Did any of you guys drive yourselves back home afterwards? I'm single and don't have a partner. I never enjoyed taking Uber or Lyft, but if I have to I will.

I popped a couple ibuprofen in the parking lot (preventive, not reactive) and was fine driving myself home. It's only local anesthetic, so no big deal.

Worst part was awkward small talk with the doctor, I'd bring headphones if I had to do it again.

Summit
Mar 6, 2004

David wanted you to have this.
Not everyone is 100% after a few days. I walk daily and run several times a week. After a few days post op I was feeling fine and really wanted to get back into my routine. A half mile in and I had to limp home. It took me about 3 weeks to fully recover where I could resume normal activity. It wasn’t necessarily painful but very uncomfortable - like a strange stretched out feeling in my scrotum. I would recommend taking at least a week off from even light activity as I feel like my recovery might have been shorter if I just actually stopped doing stuff vs blowing off the seriousness of the doctor’s orders.

That said I would do it again. Overall very positive experience.

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004




where does the cum go when the tube is snipped? does it just spill freely into the ballsack?

mlnhd
Jun 4, 2002

Cum/semen is made in your seminal vesicle. Sperm cells are made in your testes. The vas between the seminal vesicle and the testes is severed, so there is no sperm in your semen.

When you ejaculate, the semen looks smells and tastes the same.

Unused sperm cells (which is all of them) and stale semen are reabsorbed back into the body like normal.

NWS anatomical drawing of dick and balls:

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004




mlnhd posted:


When you ejaculate, the semen looks smells and tastes the same.

Yeaahh I'll be the judge of that.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

credburn posted:

This feels like as good as place as any to finally ask

What the fuck do these faces mean???

but more importantly

Why are they so badly drawn???
I walked into the hospital, was like hey I need a vasectomy. I had Obamacare or whatever at the time. It was free, I got it done the same day. One thing I remember was that I was watching them do it, and was fascinated. They pulled a really thick white tube out of my scrotum, and then they clamped it, then cut it, and even though I didn't feel it, I was suddenly overcome with dizziness like I'd never known. I immediately started sweating and I just barely managed to not pass out. I feel like there was a point where my brain was like DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO YOU!!!]

I was supposed to take it easy for a week and keep ice on my balls but I had to work. I went to work that night, just a few hours after the vasectomy. It was sore, but not terribly so. The next day I think was the worst.

About a week later there was blood in my semen for a few days but it went away.

In summary: My vasectomy felt less intrusive and hurt less and had less side effects than, say, my second COVID shot.

credburn fucked around with this message at 17:43 on Aug 20, 2022

D.N. Nation
Feb 1, 2012

Entire visit took about 45 minutes; I legit could've worked (I WFH) that day if I really had to but I took the day off anyway. Balls were Randy Marsh sized for a couple days but didn't hurt too bad...more a slight ache. About a week later I went on a hiking trip with my wife. A week after that, I was back at the gym.

+1 to everyone saying to take it slow and make sure you don't blow it before getting a negative sperm test.

No chronic pain, no change in libido (other'n what naturally comes with turning 40), fun times nutting in my wife without worry. Top 5 life decision, IMO. People who willingly choose to have kids post-2020 (shoot, post-2016....hell, post-2000) are insane.

D.N. Nation fucked around with this message at 15:15 on Aug 21, 2022

Dans Macabre
Apr 24, 2004


Totally worth it

Serjeant Buzfuz
Dec 4, 2009

Do it but make sure you find a doctor that's done it plenty of times already and has a good record.

Synnr
Dec 29, 2009
Clinic had someone bail, so I'm getting snipped later this month instead of February. General trim is difficult enough on testicles, any recommendations on getting surgery safe? I'd rather not sugar wax my junk again.

Obviously they gave a couple days recovery after, and wait a couple months for sperm count checks, but what kind of wait did y'all have for sexual activity with a partner? I expect it'll be a bit before being in my lap is comfortable, but otherwise?

Also the idea of shooting a clot is a little disturbing and surprising, if not that weird when I think about it.

mlnhd
Jun 4, 2002

I used the Philips norelco one blade. Go slow and pull the skin tight so no wrinkles get caught in the blade. My doctor said pull the penis towards your navel and shave everything you can see in the mirror from that posture. They also said do it the day before,so that the alcohol they use to disinfect the surgery site doesn’t sting

Honestly the itching from the hair regrowing was worse than any pain from the surgery. I sat idle for one day, masturbated after 3 days, and had (protected) sex after 5 days.

mlnhd fucked around with this message at 02:55 on Sep 2, 2022

dexter6
Sep 22, 2003
I went to one doctor who’s office was a poo poo show. I got to the day of the surgery and was naked on the table and he left me waiting for 30 mins. I got dressed, walked out and found another doctor.

This one was way better and I’m so glad I got it done.

Trust your gut, you don’t want to have complications AND an rear end in a top hat doctor.

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Beef Of Ages
Jan 11, 2003

Your dumb is leaking.
I got mine done a handful of years ago and the most memorable thing about it was that the doc's last name was Stiff. Can't make that up.

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